What a strange weekend I had. I was talking to Mama and Papa. The conversation inevitably turned to marriage plans--or rather the lack thereof. I know I'm 28, and for some unfortunate people, that age is ancient. I ought to be married and having babies by now. How funny really. I cannot stress enough that I am unlike many women--I have other ambitions.
I am not anti-marriage, mind you. I do believe in it. I totally respect that it is a sacred institution, a contract you do not go into lightly. And therefore, I have no romantic notions of it. While most girls dreamed of how they would look on their wedding day, I--at a very early age--had a startlingly clear concept of marriage: It is a life of complete and selfless service. So the gown, flowers and all of course had to be gorgeous and perfect! It's the last day you'll ever truly be your own true self. The rest of your life will be in servitude to your husband, your children and your now two families. Not that that's a bad thing, okay? A life of service can actually be filled with meaning. But do I have to rush into that?
Most of my early life, I had been taught to be a wife. I learned to cook, to clean, to wash and iron and mend clothes, to walk and sit and behave like a good wife would. Those skills are useful especially when you're living on your own. But back in the days, I resented the lessons so much (especially since I also had to actually serve everyone in the family--that's 10 of us. So you can understand that I'm quite tired of all this serving business). They were taught--not for my OWN benefit, but for the benefit of my future husband. It's hardly inspiring really, being told that I have to be beautiful all the time, and to be polite and pleasant, and charming and efficient, and dutiful, obedient and submissive--for an unknown MAN. I think parents should instruct all those things (which I believe are good) to their daughters and tell them it's for their own good, not because a man will benefit from such qualities one day. Parang bonus na lang yun, diba?
I do want to get married one day far off in the distant future. When I'm ready to serve. When I'm ready to lay down my life for people. When I'm ready to love--in all the true and deep and selfless sense of that word.
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A new favorite quote:
"The wizards represent all that the true 'muggle' most fears: They are plainly outcasts and comfortable with being so. Nothing is more unnerving to the truly conventional than the unashamed misfit!"
--J.K. Rowling, SALON
You cowards out there who're so afraid of people who are loving life and being themselves, take heed! There is no ounce of magic in you. You will never understand the exquisite beauty and thrilling adventure of being alive if you can't accept your individuality and the lovely differences of each and everyone on earth.
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ALL ABOUT VINCE
I'm in love. I would never have thought it can actually happen in real life but after six years five months and three days, I look at Vince and realize I'm still crazy about this guy!
Now, it's not been a bed of roses all those six years. We've fought. And then we've fought badly. But we talk and talk and talk till it's okay and then it's wonderful again. Well, even when we fight or during the bad times, it was never of utter despair because we knew we were going to work things out anyway. We have never ever broken up. It is never a prerogative. Will Smith was once asked why his marriage was so intact and he said, "There is no Plan B." He said that signing a prenuptial, thinking of divorce, preparing for a life without your significant other is Plan B. And when you have a Plan B, there's no way you're going to work hard to make Plan A work. Sensible man, this Will Smith. So is Vince.
That's one of the things I love about Vince. He's smart and very very logical. In all our time together, I have never felt bored with him. He always has something interesting to say. He's always poking around for something new to know and he's always encouraging me in my self-improvement pursuits. Like my French classes.
That's another thing I love about Vince. He's so secure and mature and supportive. He has no qualms about my wearing sexy clothes, dyeing my hair crazy colors, going out all night with people he doesn't know... He has never ever told me I can't do anything. He encourages me to state my opinions all the time, he encourages me to make friends, he loves hearing about my adventures without him, he respects my need to be alone, he understands my need to be unmarried and my fear of becoming a mother. He lets me be who I am. He just doesn't like green eyeshadow on me! Now--aside from the eyeshadow comment--the ability of a man to allow his woman to be who she is and to do what she wants speaks volumes about that man's capability to trust and respect his woman and himself.
A secure and confident man is hell of a lot sexy.
And sexiness is something I also love about Vince. Looking at him--quiet, slim, and so docile-looking--sex may be the last thing on your mind. But when I look at him or think about him, that's the first thing on my mind! And how can I not think about spending 24/7 wrapped around this man? This man who is so passionate and eager to please and sweet and romantic and funny and naughty and amazingly smart and an endless source of surprise?
Yup, that's Vince and more. A whole lot more. I'll never find someone like him. I'm deeply, madly, incredibly, tenderly, passionately in love with him. Hence, I'm looking forward to forever with this man.
Woohoo! There's two of us now. Thought I was the only one very much in love in this world. =P
But really, I'm so happy for you (and Vince, too). Always stay happy and in love, Franz dear!
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I had a very interesting evening today. The editors of T3, Total Girl and OK! were invited to Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf at Promenade Greenhills. We learned about how tea is made, the various types, the nuances in flavor, plus we got to sample their wonderful teas, breads and dishes. Man, I didn't even know cafes served real GOOD food! Well, they don't; that's why I can't stand those places. Then we had this evening at Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf and my eyes were opened! Grabe, sarap! Vince and I were absolutely stunned at the tea they served. We have been tea drinkers for years but tonight, we are ashamed to call ourselves that. How can we be fans of tea and NOT KNOW what we learned and tasted tonight? Now we understand why the tea at supermarkets were reasonably priced--they taste awful compared to CBTL. There's no going back for us now!
This is one of the reasons why I love my job. I get to meet lots of people, learn new things, go to new places, and eat so well! For FREE!
Just recently, Lucy Torres taught us how to select cheeses for entertaining, I had a fantastic dinner (made my toes curl and my eyes roll in their sockets!) at the Manila Pen while I watched a fashion show, had a delightful afternoon with Audrey Tan and Rep. Miguel Zubiri talking about love and weddings, got to eat a whole meal made of the ingredients of Euphoria, a new perfume from CK (it was a fragrant experience, I must say), and was practically given a shopping spree by Debenhams (which I spent on mama, papa and Vince). That's just recently. I could go on and on about the many wonderful things I get to see and eat and do every month!
Growing up, I didn't have much. While I felt there was a world of experiences out there, I was always told I had enough, that I'm blessed, that I shouldn't look for more. Well, now experiencing all these things for free... NOW I can say I'm REALLY blessed!
It's amazing how the world is so full of beautiful things. Delightful things! Whenever I taste a treat like a delectable cheese platter served with dry wine and fruit, I am overwhelmed at how God can create such wonders and how He has given people the talent to put together these awesome dishes and how He has given me the senses to experience them. I mean, when the flavors hit your tongue, the smells, the textures, the gorgeous colors of the food... that's when you know how it really feels to be alive! I feel the same way when I go see a fashion show with beautiful clothes and design, or when I meet people who are so talented and driven to use their life for some good, or when I get products that work like magic because they make me look fabulous almost instantly, or when I go to places and I see how breathtaking the world really is. I mean, how can you NOT believe there is a God when you get to experience all these wonderful things?
Makes me wonder why my parents insisted that we remain poor to be holy. WHY?! How can you appreciate life and God when you're miserable?
Anyway, una muna, let me greet you a happy belated birthday. :D Pangalawa, paumanhin po at hindi ako nakapagparamdam nung huling uwi ko. :P Promise, I will contact you pag-uwi namin sa December. I hope you won't be too busy, though. Pero kahit pa busy ka, kailangang magkita tayo. Miss na kita e. :) Muahz!
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(...to be continued)