Sunday, January 21, 2007

Alone on a Saturday night and I'm getting really cranky

I'm supposed to be working on wedding stuff but I'm watching the remake of Psycho on HBO instead. I cannot believe that Vince Vaughn was the psycho guy here. He is so darn cute! So tall, slim, with a nice tush to boot! I'm so loving the clean-shaven, close-cropped look, too. Someone please tell this guy to lose the weight and shape up a bit... he's too cute really without the flab. I like him much better than that craggy-looking Brad Pitt.

Oh, and Viggo Mortensen is even better looking here, too. Not that I didn't like him in Lord of the Rings. But it's nice to see Viggo clean and young!

Another yummy guy I found today is David Beckham. Damn! Just lookit that man. Victoria's so so lucky. And they're so crazy about each other, too. Love the ass-cupping bit. So hot, these two. This is a promotional photo for their his-and-hers perfumes.

I wonder what will happen to this couple now that they're in the U.S. Well, David's still doing football. Victoria said she'll never be an actress so I guess she'll be a "fashion icon" teehee. Well, I do like how she dresses but Americans don't get British fashion so she won't be an icon in that country. In fact, they all laughed at Victoria's lovely hat, the one she wore at TomKat's wedding. Sad. Hats are really the coolest!

For example, I've always thought that a white top hat with a little face veil will look perfect with a crisp white suit. Yes, that's what I want to wear to my wedding. Pants. A blazer. A hat. I mean, just look at this clever hat with the feathers. Pretty, isn't it? And it will look perfect on me!

Of course, I'm not wearing a suit or a hat to my wedding. Instead I'll be wearing a lovely cream lace gown that's quite romantic, similar to the Monique Lhuillier gown to the right but since my friend Kate Torralba is making it, it'll be more dramatic. It's really beautiful except it isn't what I wanted.

So I've been upset these past few weeks. Vince feels bad. He blames himself. He knows I wanted us to be married but that I was really really allergic to weddings. Unlike the rest of the female population, when I grew up, I dreamed of what I would wear when I finally walked that stage to claim my Pultizer or my Nobel (haha, I'm still dreaming of that day). Meanwhile, I scoffed at girls who dreamed of wedding gowns. I still do actually. And now I'm this overly stressed woman, surrounded by more bridal magazines than I ever imagined, poring over the many ways to make a white gown look different. Not very many, I can tell you that.

In the end, when I faced Kate and she asked me what I wanted, all I told her was: "You're the designer here. I'm sure you know what looks good on me. I just want to be cool and comfortable. And I want Vince to be happy when he sees me. I don't want him to laugh because I'm covered in ridiculous yards of white organza." Which is how I feel when I look at brides really. I'm overcome with mirth. Brides who insist on floor-length veils so that it sticks to their lipgloss and when they pull away the veil, there's a floating red lipstick mark in front of her face. Or brides who wear ball gowns and trip over them. So much for the graceful bride, eh? Or brides who wear low-cut things to expose their oily and acne-ridden chests, arms and backs. Really now! It's ridiculous!

It's a good thing the designer is my good friend. She knows I can't bear to wear a frilly, foolish creation. So she kept my gown classic then unleashed her creative frustration onto the entourage. And, my, they do look fantastic! The bridesmaids will wear stripes!!! People were horrified ("Who wears stripes to weddings?!", they cry in anguish) until I tell them that it's very similar to these gowns worn by Avril Lavigne and Debra Messing. But people still get weirded out.

To the brides who are reading this blog, please do your bridesmaids a favor and make them wear something that won't make them look like ice cream popsicles. I've been a bridesmaid many times and the bride always made me wear the most horrendous things. Those brides are no longer my friends because after suffering through four hours in the most horrible gowns, I came away convinced that these silly women do not value me and my friendship. Or that they're terribly insecure. And therefore do not deserve my friendship!!!

My bridesmaids (Mariel Chua and Kate Torralba) will be so sexy and traffic-stopping gorgeous. My mom will also look great! Kate and I decided on an elegant shirt dress with a dramatic collar, beaded belt and embroidered hem. Kate sighed, "Hmmm, the mother of the bride looks better than the bride..." My flowergirls will be utterly adorable, too, in their glossy brown satin with pale pink trims. My groom, in a smart suit, will look so fantastic I'd wish there was no reception so we can go have a honeymoon already!

Oh well, at least my bridal party will be happy. Don't get me wrong. I love that I'm marrying Vince. I am in love with the thought that we'll finally be husband and wife. The thought makes me so happy, so I'm sure the fact will make me delirious with joy. It's just that I don't like parties. My dream wedding, come to think of it, is the Star Wars wedding of Anakin and Padme. There's a shimmering lake, a weeping tree, a man, a woman, a priest, and two droids as witnesses. That's it! I love Natalie Portman's wedding dress there, by the way.

Sigh. I just want this whole wedding to be over and done with. Being a bride is strange; the whole event is supposed to be about you and your groom but nothing you both want actually happens. It's what other people want that gets done. Well, that's what weddings really are about, I guess. It's just that being a bride is so strange: I have never been so adored and ignored in my life!!!

I just want to be an editor-in-chief again. In my job, I'm the boss.