Wednesday, May 01, 2013

Reader question #1: Name one thing you wish you knew before you became a parent.

That's from Leah of The Bright Spot. I asked the fans of my blogs' Facebook page to ask me anything at all. Leah was the first to ask and here's my answer.

I wish I had known that I would love my kids the way I love them now. I was an unhappy pregnant woman because I was profoundly afraid I would regret having my child. Many moms assured me that motherhood is the best thing ever. At the same time, just as many moms warned me that I'll never sleep again, that I'll become ugly, that motherhood is the hardest job in the world. So... mixed messages, you know?

My Mama, bless her heart, always said that she had just one regret in life: that she married and had children. She loved us but she also always seemed to be looking beyond us, at that other life, the could've been, the greener grass. My sister-in-law left her three kids and ran off with another man. Some of my friends thought of their kids as inconveniences. I was surrounded by mothers who didn't like being mothers. And I was deathly afraid that I'd be like that.

The fear robbed me of the joy of pregnancy. Nine months of misery. It was sad.

Oh, but if I had known that my heart would burst every single day with love for my boys, if I had known that motherhood would come naturally to me, if I had known I would enjoy it so much, I would've enjoyed my pregnancy better, I would've been more gracious to well wishers, I would've embraced my new life sooner, I would've been happier.  

That's it.

Oh, and I wish I knew the sex was going to be better after kids. I was scared my marriage would suffer after I became a mom because everyone warned me I'd never enjoy sex again but, hey hey hey, motherhood made me sexier. My body is not as nice now, yes, but after I've seen what my body can do after two pregnancies and two vaginal births, I feel so much more alive and sensual and powerful and confident. I am woman! And I enjoy everything about being a woman more than ever. So, moms who don't enjoy sex, I don't know what happened to you and I don't know why you poisoned my mind about that.

So, Leah, even though you asked me to name just one thing, let's add one last thing: I wish I'd known to shut out all those people who said so many bad things about motherhood!

Friday, April 26, 2013

Topaz Fashion: Gwyneth Paltrow!

If you ever read the magazine I used to edit, you'd know I am a HUGE fan of Gwyneth Paltrow. Sure, she annoys a ton of people but that's because she says whatever she wants to say, even if it puts her in trouble. I've said this before: Most really big stars create this shiny image, this big wall around them and they say nice things, wear nice clothes, and basically be safe so that they don't land in hot water. Gwyneth has remained so authentic and so herself. I find it so refreshing!

This week, my favorite star was picked as the world's most beautiful person by People magazine. I was thrilled to bits! I can't wait to get my copy!

Then, for the movie premiere of Iron Man 3, which I have yet to see, she showed up wearing this:


For more photos, please go to Just Jared (click! click!) where I grabbed these pics. Anyway, the general reaction was loathing. It is rather risqué. And in this country where everyone is supposedly conservative, it's a horrible dress (I'm basing this on my Facebook feed haha). Oh, but I absolutely loved her Antonio Berardi dress! Look, if I had perfectly toned legs and buttocks, I'd be showing them off, too. This was a very couture way of showing off. Very brave. Not trashy. I love the teal, the kimono sleeves, the sheer side panels, the bold white. I'm sooo in love with her dress! I just don't like her white shoes.

Here's Gwyneth on Ellen's show talking about her wardrobe malfunction.


That '70s vibe. I just had to laugh at that. If you don't know what '70s vibe means, well, that means you're way too young! Oh, Gwyneth, I want to be just like you when I grow up!

Updated to add this: the awarding ceremony for World's Most Beautiful!


P.S. Speaking of revealing too much, I'm doing something I've never ever done on my blogs and social media ever before: I'm going to post photos of myself in a bathing suit! It's summer! And I ain't Gwyneth—no diet, no work outs—so please be kind. Haha, promise, no Photoshop!

Monday, April 22, 2013

Counting my blessings

I'm finding it more difficult to update Topaz Horizon. I've decided long ago that this will be my silly blog (which doesn't mean I'm a silly person haha) and I'll put fashion and Hollywood celebs and TV shows and glam events here. But now that my life's been devoted to hearth and home, there's really not much to talk about here (although I talk a lot about hearth and home over at Topaz Mommy!).

I've been without yayas for almost a month now. So no more events for me. Well, I've really been declining invitations for a while now, since I retired from magazines. I only go out if I really really like the brand or the person inviting me. But, as with these things, you say no too many times and they stop inviting you. The result is a much quieter life—less shrill voices, less dealing with traffic, less dressing up and putting on make up.

We spent an afternoon just having the silliest fun! 

There's more dinners with my kids, more time for LEGO and Cars and Toy Story, more chats with the toddler, more breastfeeding with the baby, longer bath times, more bedtime stories now. There's more conversations with my husband, more making love, more cuddles, more laughter. There's more books, more naps, more time with friends and family, and it's been quiet enough lately that there's more prayer for me now.
Vito and I spent nearly an hour making this!

I like this retreat from the world. I think I like it because I spent a lot of years living glamorously, loudly. I've been there, I've done that. I don't feel like I'm missing out. Although I will admit that when I do attend events now and see dear friends, I miss them. So I miss the people, but not that world.

Still, the world seems to still find its way to me. Recently, I got some lovely surprises. They were sent because I'm a blogger and they love my blogs. Hooray! I'm glad for that. I really really am. Thank you!


Gingersnaps sent the boys the cutest clothes! Here's Iñigo with the boxes of goodies. He's obviously very engrossed in LEGO to care! I'll dress the boys up real soon so you can see how cool the clothes are. What else? Go Nuts Donuts sent over their latest creation—the Cookie Butter flavor. It is so yummy! I ate 4 in one sitting! Karimadon sent exquisite Ladurée macarons straight from Hong Kong (and other fabulous surprises!) because they loved that I loved their VIP room. Taste Central sent me shopping credits. And magazines Northern Living and Real Living asked me to be featured in their mom issues!

Getting ready for my Northern Living shoot while my sister entertains little Iñigo.

My blessings aren't just material gifts. My favorite ones are from my family and neighbors. My sister, Jacqui, has been dropping by to take care of the kids. She has saved me from going insane. My sister-in-law, Anj, and her son, Zo, have also entertained the boys when I had to go to a meeting, they volunteered their Fridays to babysit, and I get to borrow their cleaning lady, too. My in-laws send over food like mangoes and nuts and caldereta, which means less time in the kitchen for me. My neighbors, Claire, Earl, Dada and Cathee, have also lightened the burden of caring for little babies with their encouragement, friendship and prayer.

So while my life recently has been less busy and stressful, it's also been more full. Too full. My heart is overflowing with love and gratitude!