tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28615751.post2188148766462647752..comments2024-03-28T20:17:04.492+08:00Comments on TOPAZ HORIZON: I like to imagineFranceshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03762850601924680898noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28615751.post-47043174912542977552023-05-04T18:55:33.596+08:002023-05-04T18:55:33.596+08:00I already commented earlier but let me share with ...I already commented earlier but let me share with you my thoughts. I may not have expressed fully what I wanted to say. Your experiences with your father are somehow parallel with mine. I just want to share that my experience with my father had a big impact on how it really made me understand my husband.<br /><br />My father came from a good background. He had a comfortable life. He was very good looking too...artista level. When he married my mother, he did not save up and then he lost his job. I was almost in high school that time. Nawala ang self-esteem nya. Then, my mother had to be the sole bread winner. It was really a struggle for her kasi me and my siblings studying in a known private school tapos college tuition fees pa became an issue afterwards. From what I observed, my mother focused on us...providing for our needs. She was not able to fully understand my father's situation. She may have helped him but I realized now that that was not enough. She did not show affection and became quite distant. My father went to depression and he did not fully recover after that. What I heard from his friends was that he was very proud of us and also his grandkids, pero parang he was afraid to show it to us. Probably because that he felt inadequate, just like what you said. He probably felt that we were not be proud of him.<br /><br />When my husband became jobless, I sensed that he has slowly started becoming like my father. Unti-unti nawawala ang bilib sa sarili. I became scared...really scared. I do not want a take two. I think I became like my mother as well...distant and unaffectionate...because I was busy earning a living for the family. And then it hit me in the head that I should not do what my mother did. I tried to be more patient, understanding and caring. This has greatly improved our relationship. <br /><br />Sometimes this kind of experience will be a lesson to us, one way or another. Looking back, I wish I understood my father better...what he was going through. Ang nakita ko lang before was the struggle of my mother. Mahirap talagang maging magulang and asawa. Tao lang sila...tao lang tayo. <br /><br />Wishing you all the best in your family and career life, Frances.<br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28615751.post-51669209971667911022023-05-04T16:07:53.905+08:002023-05-04T16:07:53.905+08:00"He felt inadequate as a man..." -- tha..."He felt inadequate as a man..." -- that perfectly describes it. So relatable because I had the same relationship and experience with my father. One thing I realized after his passing is that parents have their own issues that they themselves cannot comprehend or resolve. Hence, they post this wall to be invisible or isolated or as if they do not care. Tao rin sila. This realization was strengthened when I witnessed my husband having similar issues with himself. I now understand what my father had to deal with. Life is really crazy like that sometimes. It is giving us lessons that we do not expect. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28615751.post-11892602675329545892023-05-04T03:14:49.961+08:002023-05-04T03:14:49.961+08:00“And yet can you miss something you never really h...“And yet can you miss something you never really had?” Indeed.jennysingsnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28615751.post-15539393298163823492023-05-03T15:18:05.286+08:002023-05-03T15:18:05.286+08:00Beautifully written. I also had an arms-length rel...Beautifully written. I also had an arms-length relationship with my dad, who is the epitome of an Asian dad - good provider but distant and cold, never the type to express his feelings. We lost him in 2021, at the height of the pandemic. Up until his last days, I was still wondering if he was ever proud of me. Aileennoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28615751.post-38445387134399881912023-05-03T11:26:24.617+08:002023-05-03T11:26:24.617+08:00My father is still alive and I can relate so much ...My father is still alive and I can relate so much to this blog. I have also tried, but there are relationships that aren't meant to work out, I guess. With my parents, we are better off without each other. They do not feel "disrespected" and I do not feel "rejected."<br /><br />It's sad because we live a few properties away now, and I really wish we didn't make this decision at all. We were happy and content where we were.Mayhttp://www.fullyhousewifed.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28615751.post-41164649141889387222023-05-01T15:31:37.139+08:002023-05-01T15:31:37.139+08:00Ah yes, how that commandment has been used and abu...Ah yes, how that commandment has been used and abused by parental figures throughout history. Mama used to say the next verse nga, yung Ephesians 6:4, to Papa kasi Christians kami dapat pero walang effect. Sigh. Thank you for your empathy, Nerisa.Franceshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03762850601924680898noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28615751.post-73938770288306635002023-05-01T10:27:33.364+08:002023-05-01T10:27:33.364+08:00Maybe because as Filipinos we were raised in a Chr...Maybe because as Filipinos we were raised in a Christian community and was instilled Ephesians 6:1-3 but stopped there and forgot about the next verse. <br /><br />After reading this blog, I just felt sad. no other emotions, just sad. for you and your Papa. Nerisahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09410993243361758558noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28615751.post-12392015452458778462023-04-30T20:40:49.154+08:002023-04-30T20:40:49.154+08:00Haha everyone says that about me! I feel so old (I...Haha everyone says that about me! I feel so old (I've been blogging for 17 years!).Franceshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03762850601924680898noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28615751.post-86577545879212891452023-04-30T20:40:12.871+08:002023-04-30T20:40:12.871+08:00HUGS! True. It's not a relationship if it'...HUGS! True. It's not a relationship if it's a one-way street. Sorry to hear this. Please know you can move on. For your own peace and sanity.Franceshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03762850601924680898noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28615751.post-70530245650693830442023-04-30T17:00:14.941+08:002023-04-30T17:00:14.941+08:00Ngayon lang ako ulit nakabasa ng blog from an OG. ...Ngayon lang ako ulit nakabasa ng blog from an OG. Kamiss. Stay safe Ma'am.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28615751.post-11106720279867115122023-04-30T15:49:26.832+08:002023-04-30T15:49:26.832+08:00I am crying so much reading this. My father never ...I am crying so much reading this. My father never cared about us. And here I am trying all the time to have a relationship with him to make him proud of me. Thank yiu for making me see that a relationship only works if both of us are trying. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28615751.post-31928099676152640792023-04-30T13:10:25.570+08:002023-04-30T13:10:25.570+08:00❤️❤️❤️ Thanks! Who's this? Few people call me ...❤️❤️❤️ Thanks! Who's this? Few people call me F so kilala kita 😊Frances https://www.blogger.com/profile/05508516856092504047noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28615751.post-46224896462786315102023-04-30T11:47:09.353+08:002023-04-30T11:47:09.353+08:00I missed your story telling F. I missed your story telling F. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28615751.post-57752729833264846932023-04-30T10:37:58.871+08:002023-04-30T10:37:58.871+08:00Thanks, Chrissy! Thanks also for being my friend a...Thanks, Chrissy! Thanks also for being my friend and understanding me ❤️Frances https://www.blogger.com/profile/05508516856092504047noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28615751.post-67757233605592679722023-04-30T10:37:02.135+08:002023-04-30T10:37:02.135+08:00Natawa ako sa P. S. 😂 But yeah. People expect and...Natawa ako sa P. S. 😂 But yeah. People expect and demand that we children should be the one making the relationship with our parents work. Why? It doesn't make sense. Frances https://www.blogger.com/profile/05508516856092504047noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28615751.post-54230124189834946862023-04-30T08:51:55.846+08:002023-04-30T08:51:55.846+08:00Hugs, Frances. Binalikan ko Talaga ang 2019 post t...Hugs, Frances. Binalikan ko Talaga ang 2019 post to connect everything. I am sad with you on different levels :( Through the years, I have seen you as a loving, super giving and honest person. I just want to say that surely your Mama is beaming with pride looking at you now. And wishing for the same also hopefully with your Papa. HugsChrissy Caballerohttps://www.facebook.com/chrissy.p.caballeronoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28615751.post-19464534172055544822023-04-30T08:09:02.307+08:002023-04-30T08:09:02.307+08:00I also have an "absent" father. (mom and...I also have an "absent" father. (mom and dad separated when I was 3yo) . Didnt grew up with him but unlike your pops, i think, he wanted to "somehow" reach out. It's just me who's okay with "ayos lang kahit wala ka or andyan ka. Same same".<br /><br />I am an only child and I lost mom when i was 28. I am 31 now. Just got married last year. Same thougjht. I hope my mom could see me now. For sure she'll be so proud. <br /><br />I frankly could say I dont know what to feel with my dad. Tamang "sakto lang".<br /><br />I loved this. Sobrang nakakarelate ako. <br /><br />PS. Pero buhay pa tatay ko 😆ndramireznoreply@blogger.com