TOPAZ HORIZON

My V-Day post was popular with the ladies but I didn't post all the comments because some girls said they'll break up with their boyfriends because they're not as great at gift-giving as Vince is. Oh my! I don't want anyone getting heartbroken, okay? Then there was this one comment that said she now has hope because it's her dream to marry a rich man one day and she loves how Vince "rescued" me from "poverty" and that I am "a true Cinderella."

Let me tell you about Cinderella. Yes, she was always portrayed as this poor girl whose lot in life improved when the prince fell in love with her. But though gold-diggers everywhere worship her as their heroine, let me point out the facts in the story that everyone conveniently looks over:

1. Cinderella was the daughter of a nobleman so she wasn't poor. Her stepmother and stepsisters made her their slave but no matter how many times she washed clothes or scrubbed floors, that doesn't change the fact that she had very aristocratic blood running in her veins.

2. Being of noble birth, Cinderella had been educated to become the wife of an important man. Her grace, her charm, and her dancing skills didn't just appear out of nowhere. That's why when the prince met her, she knew exactly what to do because she's been trained all her life for that moment!

3. The prince is still a man and being a man, he gets attracted to pretty girls. Being a prince, he also knew that he had to get a suitable wife. Imagine if Cinderella showed up at the ball in her rags. Will the prince even spare her a glance? Perhaps. And then he'd have her thrown out of the palace!

I'm not being a pessimist here, just stating the facts. Even Diana, Princess of Wales, was adored because she was the modern-day Cinderella, the girl-next-door who caught the eye and heart of the Prince of Wales. Now, who lives next door to a prince anyway? Someone just as wealthy and aristocratic! And Lady Diana, daughter of the Earl of Spencer and a member of an old noble line, has more British noble blood in her than all of the Windsors (they're Germanic).

So while those telenovelas and movies love that storyline, it just doesn't ring true. In real life, you usually fall in love with someone who's just like you--same school, same neighborhood, same church--which means you're usually from the same economic background. Of course this changes when you start working. Your circle widens, and the more money you make, the more people you meet. But somehow people still end up with people who are still the same. Devout men marry pious women, intelligent men marry smart women, crude men marry women with no manners, vain men marry shallow women and so on and so forth.

With Vince and me, it wasn't any different. Sure, my family was poor when we met but we weren't always poor. Things just got bad economically in our teens. But my parents had already planted the seeds--sent us to exclusive private schools, made us read the Shakespeares and the classics, taught us good manners and right conduct, the works! I knew how to use all those forks and knives in an elegant dinner setting, I knew how to dress for every occasion, I knew how to make small talk.

So when Vince met me, it wasn't like he had to cross huge distances for us to understand each other. For one thing, Vince preferred speaking English because he spent his childhood in London and Hong Kong. Imagine if I didn't know how to speak English! That'll be the end of it! Next, Vince is a writer and I am, too, so we hit it off immediately because we shared a passion and a love. Next, we both love books and we love to read, and that definitely increased the attraction because we can't stand people who don't read books! Plus, there are an infinite number of things people who love books can talk about. And it's been 11 years and Vince and I are still having long conversations!


Nope, I'm no Cinderella but I do love my love story because it may sound like a fairy tale but it's real, it's love. I didn't marry Vince for his money or his looks or his brain or his whatever. I really did marry for love! So, to you gold-diggers out there, yes, a well-off lifestyle can be achieved by marrying a rich man--it's been done before!--but it's so much better to become rich first yourself. Then you value your own worth, you know you belong in the same world and, most important of all, you didn't need a man to make your dreams come true. Cinderella will tell you the same thing!

I'm in St. Luke's Global City. I only came here to interview an OBG for an article on prenatal massage for Smart Parenting magazine. But I found myself roaming about, too!

I like it here. It's so big and new and shiny and bright! The hallways are wide, there's real piano music playing in the lobby which has paintings, sculptures and nice modern furniture. I have other reasons (they're all in my mommy blog) but I forgot to add that I also like that I look so pretty in the mirror of this clinic. And when you're pregnant, you like mirrors that make you look real purty! 
Oh, I'm wearing an oversized tank layered over an oversized t-shirt from Gingersnaps. These are suuuper soft! Shoes are triple-bow gold flats from Schu. Bag is a Longchamp. Necklace is Liz Claiborne (see necklace in the mommy blog post). 

Oh, today was a fun day. Had a glamorous lunch at the Manila Peninsula. Such a lovely hotel, very old, very elegant. First time I ever went there (years ago but not that long ago), I was so impressed, I said very loudly, "Wow, ang ganda naman dito!" Na-obvious tuloy na taga-bundok ako. My hubby chuckles at this story and always says he should bring me to Vegas because the hotels there are out-of-this-world amazing.

Anyway, the lunch was hosted by Pond's. They launched new concentrated serums of their whitening and anti wrinkle creams. I'll write more about those in my sadly neglected beauty blog this week. This post, meanwhile, will be about clothes!

This is me and my gorgeous friends Nicole Delos Angeles and Mariel Chua. They are soooo hot, right?

• Nicole is wearing a tank top, leather pencil skirt, bondage shoes and carrying a Prada bag. 
• Mariel is in a Kate Torralba tube dress, gold ballet flats and Forever 21 earrings (Forever 21 U.S. not the gaya-gaya store here). 
• I'm carrying my Longchamp bag (given by my friend in France, Aida). I'm wearing a Gingersnaps dress, which is a wee too short so I'll wear tights with that next time. Oh, and I love my new Kenneth Cole shoes. I bought them for Mariel's wedding and I'm breaking them in. Those purple shoes are satin and suede and super comfy! Love them!

My darling friends! Mariel and Nic were the very first people I voiced my suspicions about my pregnancy. We were lunching at Cibo on December 1 and I said, "Guys, I might be pregnant." They both squealed in delight. But I said, "I'm not sure yet so don't tell anyone." And you know, they didn't breathe a word to any soul--even to their significant others! That's friendship for ya. I don't deserve my friends really. I can't keep secrets at all!

It's Valentine's Day today but my head's not there because tomorrow is Vince's birthday. All he wants is a video game. Again. I've been giving him video games for the last eight or so years and I'm really starting to think I'm a horrible gift giver. I've given Vince shirts, toys, shoes but nothing makes him as happy as the latest video game. So I'm giving him (surprise!) a PS3 game tomorrow.

Now when it comes to gifts, Vince is very very good. He gives me the best gifts! Special edition books, quirky stuff like my hot pink Christmas tree, roses as big as my fist, my diamond engagement ring... Then there are the poems and love letters! He's an A+ when it comes to gifts. But let me tell you about my favorite gift of all.

When Vince and I met, he was a talented writer from a rich family, lived in a posh gated neighborhood, drove his own car, had a lucrative advertising career. I was a nobody. His girlfriends were these beautiful women who were incredibly rich and glamorous. I was a nobody and I owned three pairs of shoes. His friends were jetsetters who talked about diving in Palau, shopping in Hong Kong, summers in Spain. I was a nobody who's never been anywhere. I honestly didn't know what he saw in me.

One afternoon, Vince and I were walking in a mall when I saw this beautiful red velvet bag. It was small and it was hand-beaded completely with shiny beads and sequins. I ran my hands over the bag and said, "This is so beautiful, Vince!"

"Buy it," he said.

I put the bag back on the shelf and sadly said, "It's too pretty for me," and I put it out of my mind because back then we were so poor that to be happy, we just didn't dwell on things we didn't, couldn't have.

A few days later, Vince gave me a package and in it... was the red velvet bag. He said, "Everyone deserves to have something pretty. And you're beautiful."

That pretty much changed my life. I used to think I should just be content with my lot, to not want and ask for more because I didn't deserve anything good and beautiful. But with that one bag, Vince showed me that I'm special, that I'm somebody after all and the world was mine to conquer. Everything--jobs, friends, life--was easy after that.

The bag is not the most expensive gift Vince gave me, not even the prettiest, or rarest, or most fabulous. But it's my favorite because it changed my life. Thanks, Vincent. Happy hearts day and happy happy birthday!

Two weddings are coming up: Mariel's and Nikki's. We're all in a flurry of preparations but there'll be one friend missing from the parties--darling Kat.

Kat resigned from her job as the super chic fashion editor of Cosmopolitan to study fashion merchandising in NYC. Years ago, Kat and I would talk about further studies but since life was so good to us (my goodness, we have the best jobs in the world!), what was the point of leaving our cushy lives and becoming a student again? But she told me she wants to take up something fashion so she can work in the mega fashion brands of the world. I told her that I want to freshen up my literature and creative writing knowledge so I can--get ready for this--teach Koreans.


Kat said she was thinking of studying abroad. I said I was thinking of enrolling at an online university; after all, I can't leave my husband and rabbit to study! I already looked at schools like the London School of Journalism and Penn Foster Career School. The LSJ appeals to me because it's a British school and my favorite writers are British so obviously I would benefit from British teachers. The Penn Foster school is also known to have successful graduates and, like the LSJ, the courses are quite affordable. Someone sent me an email telling me to check out the online degree programs of Western Governors University but I was pretty disappointed that its offerings are mostly for those interested in business, IT, education, and the health industry. So while I'm sure it's a great school, it doesn't have anything to offer me.

Anyway, these are the stuff Kat and I would chat about late at night, interspersed with gossip and love stories and shopping finds. Then we'd laugh at ourselves for thinking such silly things ("School! So far out!") and we'd go back to our glam lives.


Little did I know that Kat was actually dead serious. A few months ago, she said she got accepted at the Fashion Institute of Technology. We were thrilled for her! And then she said, "I'm moving to New York City!" And our smiles died. The gang was losing one member and though we were so excited, we will miss her so.

Last month, Kat left for the US of A, her top concerns being: (1) how to fit all her clothes within her luggage capacity and (2) how to look fashionable and not freeze to death while doing so. Typical Kat, she's found solutions to (1)--it involves a smitten man!--and (2)--it involves creative layering. But being a student means no job which means save money, so she won't be able to fly back here to attend the weddings of our friends.  

When Vince and I went to London for our honeymoon, my biggest regret was not setting aside an entire three days for the National Gallery. We spent just three hours instead and then we had to catch the plane to Manila. We missed our plane but you can read more about London here (although back then, my posts were mostly written in Taglish).

Anyway, I took a few courses in Renaissance Art in college since I've always been fascinated with it when I was a kid. So when we entered the National Gallery and I saw the works of Da Vinci, Van Gogh, Titian, Holbein, Vermeer, Rembrandt, Monet... I completely lost it. I just cried! Seeing those paintings has got to be one of the most amazing things in my life and I will go back. And I will spend an entire hour staring at this:


This is a huge painting. It's bigger than my house, I think. This depicts the tragic conclusion of the life of Lady Jane Grey, Queen of England for a mere nine days. She was the grandniece of that notorious Henry VIII (he of the six wives) and though she was royalty and had the best life had to offer, she didn't have her parents' love. Their ambition was her undoing.

I won't do a history lesson here but I just wanted to say that this was my favorite painting in the precious few hours we spent at the National Gallery. Vince and I stood before this painting transfixed. It is absolutely stunning--the alabaster of her skin, the satin of her gown, the way she fumbled about for the chopping block, the gentle way she was assisted to her death, the distress of her maids, the calm of her executioner. And she was but 19 years old. Poor thing.

The painting is magnificent and Lady Jane truly does inspire some of the most remarkable art. WendyB, my gorgeous blogger friend who I admire and adore, has created a pendant inspired by the tragic Lady Jane.

Within the rock crystal teardrop are rubies, symbolizing blood and tears. It's one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen. And I want it! I'll have to earn tons of money to afford it, however, but I've already put that photo on my dream board and whatever I put on that board, I get!

UPDATES:
1. Interested in Jane's story? WendyB has a fun and easy post about her. Click here!
2. The necklace is about PHP 300,000.

*painting photo from Wikipedia, pendant photo from Wendy Brandes

Thanks everybody for your kind words. And to those who didn't have any kind words, fuck you.

I'm not going to talk about my pregnancy anymore or anything serious. I always said before that shallowness is the theme of this blog and yet I keep insisting on otherwise. I'm not just talking about the pregnancy; even my mother was criticized when I wrote about her recently. For Pete's sake, the woman is dead! Did ya forget to take your anti-depressants or something?

So let's go back to fun and vanity and frivolity. Better to be called stupid and vain than all the other nasty things I've been called recently. On to shopping! And parties! And shoes! And celebrities!

The previous post was interesting because some reader got offended by a comment I made and some readers reacted and then it became nasty and then I just had to not allow nasty comments anymore (the exchange is at my mommy blog--yes, I double post!). To be honest with ya, I found the exchange fascinating. I always liked controversy and dirt (which explains why I work in an entertainment magazine!) but since that is a mommy blog, I kinda figured I better clean it up since mommies seem to be expected to be positive and perfect. And since I'm spilling my guts there (and here) about how I feel about pregnancy and people around me (and guts aren't pretty), well, I'm rubbing people the wrong way.

First of all, I want to assure everybody that I love my unborn child. I hate feeling vomity and hungry and dizzy and tired and I certainly do not like my acne and the unsolicited advice being thrown at me left and right, but hey, it comes with the territory. I don't like what comes with the pregnancy but I love the kid that's causing all this fuss. The Jelly Bean is worth it.

Second, I'm honest but I'm not mean. People can't tell the difference. If you're fat and you ask me, "Hey, am I fat?", I will say, "Yes, you're fat." I will not mince words and I will not look away. But when I do say that, I'm not being nasty; I just answered your frikkin' question. So when I said in my previous post that I noticed that only ugly and unfashionable women tell me to stop trying to look good, I did mean that--that I'm fascinated with the fact that beautiful, kind and stylish women are encouraging and helpful while ugly women are nasty and discouraging. It's true! I wasn't being snarky when I wrote that; I was stating an observation.

Third, second point doesn't mean I'm a good and gentle person. If I were, this discussion won't even exist. I can be cruel and unkind. My friends and family call me "brutally honest" and they say this fondly but my family and friends are wonderful people who love me despite having been victims of my tongue. I've hurt a lot of people even though I didn't mean to. My sister once told me, "You're an editor so edit yourself!" As I've gotten older, I've learned to hold in my opinion, to lie even, but people can always tell if I'm lying. So now I say, "Ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies."

Fourth, will my brutal honesty harm my child? I have no idea. My mother was just as brutal while my father's philosophy was, "Honesty is not always the best policy." I don't want to know why my father will live by that credo but in my experience, I appreciated my mother's truthfulness so I want to be just as truthful with my kid. But I do hope that wisdom and compassion will hold my tongue and, to be honest with ya, just right now, wisdom and compassion are two things I'm still learning about. So help me God!

Fifth, what does this mean for my blogging and my promise to be completely candid? Well, this means I'll still tell you how I really feel. And if you think I've said too much, do tell me. Sometimes I really am not aware if I'm already being hurtful. My husband, my friends, my brother and sister are always telling me to be careful, to shut up, to delete that post, etc. So tell me if I was out of line--I'm used to being told off and I don't get offended because I know how stupid and careless I can be. Also, if you notice, I don't really blog daily. That's because there are days I really really am miserable but I don't want to post it because I really don't want to record too much ugliness.

They say pregnancy is a beautiful thing. So far, it's been pretty ugly (sniff! sniff!). But I do have moments of happiness--the ultrasound and seeing that beautiful little Jelly Bean swimming about as we counted its fingers and toes (complete sets!), the gentle way my husband treats me and tells me I'm beautiful even though pimples have multiplied on my face and back, the way drivers will stop their cars or strangers will open doors when they see me waddling past, the way people's eyes light up when they find out I'm pregnant... There is kindness, too. And I'm happy to be honest about that!

As you can see, I'm not showing so much yet. Unless I spent the entire day eating, which I do. Since these were taken just before breakfast, no tummy yet. But by the time lunchtime rolled, people were asking to rub my distended belly.

Yesterday, I was telling some girls at work that when I was younger, I'd be in hospitals so much because of my asthma and my favorite thing to do was to grab my IV bag and visit the other patients and ask them about their lives, which was hell of a lot better to do than stare at my room's ceiling and listen to myself breathe. The girls at work didn't seem fascinated with my story and focused on only one thing: "Why were you alone? Wasn't your mom with you?" And I said, "Oh, Mama never really came to visit me when I was sick. She was only there to pick me up, and that's also because she had to pay the bill."

Mama, they looked at me like I had a terrible mother, and I guess the story did make you sound like one. Yikes! Thinking about it now, I never felt any resentment whenever you and Papa deposited me at the hospital and came back for me when the doctor said I was free to go. For one thing, I knew you had work. I also enjoyed being on my own; in fact, I enjoyed it so much, I couldn't wait to leave home and be independent! And if you hadn't left me alone so much, I wouldn't learn to love reading, to venture out by myself, to talk to strangers (which you never discouraged) and be interested in their stories, to explore a world outside my own, and to be happy with my own company. All those nights in the hospital never felt lonely because I fell asleep immediately--I had a full day chatting with doctors, nurses, patients and their relatives. I saw some really sick people, some of them died when I was there, which was sad because I had just met them, but I was a happy kid and you always told me there was a heaven.

Well, now you're in heaven and I'm glad you're there. Really! I know you had a hard life, Mama, so it's great you're living it up somewhere vastly more wonderful than here. I do miss you, especially now that I'm going to have a baby. I want to raise my child the way you raised me but apparently your way isn't popular anymore. Listening to all the unsolicited advice I get these days, one would think you were a truly terrible mother. "Children should be loved, you should never leave them alone, you shouldn't let them play outside, you shouldn't spank them, you should be their friend, you should feed them organic stuff only, etc ad infinitum nauseum." Mama, kids these days are coddled and treated like emperors, like they were the centers of their parents' universe. You always made it clear to me and my siblings that God was the first in your life, then Papa, then--if there were no other people who needed your help--then and only then do we enter the picture.

I kinda liked knowing that we weren't that special, Mama. For one thing, no one can ever accuse any of your children for being spoiled brats. We're kinda wonderful actually, all smart and talented and strong. People think your children are fantastic, Mama! And we are, we are indeed. So if anyone dare say your way was wrong, well, let's just see what kind of kids they bring up!

I think you understood parenting more than anyone these days. Parenting is for crazy people actually because it's a doomed relationship. From the moment your child takes its first breath, you teach it the skills to do just one thing: Leave you. And you, unlike most parents who just baby their children, you always pushed, pushed, pushed! And look where I am now! I know you're so proud, Mama.

To be honest, I wouldn't be who I am if you had always been there. Well, you were there for me by not being there all the time. Sometimes, I would feel you holding back, sometimes I felt you closed your eyes, sometimes I felt you turned away. All those times made me stronger, because I knew that though you didn't help, you did so consciously, knowing I'd be better if I did it on my own. And I am. I don't know what willpower it took to stop yourself from scooping us into your arms, from not quitting work to be with us, from not defending us when we whined. You were one tough mama! 

At your wake, there were so many people, it was crazy. I met so many people whose lives you changed. I even remember feeling jealous because I had to share you with soooo many people! I remember calling home one day and saying, "Mama, let's go shopping!" And you said, "I have to do counseling and discipleship today. Maybe another time." There was never another time, Mama, because you always chose the less fortunate. I always got angry over that but when you died and I saw how many people mourned you--some of them were crying more than I or Papa or my siblings did--I realized you chose the right thing.

You always did actually. And that entire time we were at the wake, a strange thing happened: We found ourselves comforting others, instead of the other way around. We had taken over your role of comforter and guidance counselor--you kinda didn't give us a choice!--even though we were the ones who lost a mother and a wife. But by stepping into your shoes, we became better human beings.

This reminds me of that story you told us of two sisters, Mary and Martha. Jesus had visited their home and Martha was super busy cleaning and cooking so that Jesus will feel important. Mary sat by His feet and listened to Him speak. Martha got angry and said, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself? Tell her to help me!" And Jesus said, "Martha, Martha! You are worried and upset about so many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her." (Luke 10:38-42). Now, I always thought this story was stupid and an excuse to be lazy. But when you died, Mama, I got it. It took me 32 years but I finally got it. You always did choose the right thing and now you have been rewarded.

Oh, I'm going to be a great mom! I just know it. Because I had you, and though everyone tells me that there are new ways to raise kids these days, I think I'm going to be just like you--tough, strict, totally no-nonsense and firmly rooted on God's Word. And if I turn out half as good a person as you were, Mama, then my little Jelly Bean is in very good hands.

I miss you,
F.

I guess you all probably all know that Apple launched the funnily named iPad last week.

Well, I want one. It's the future, my friends. I won't really go into all the specifics and what it can and can't do (this isn't a tech site and my husband can explain it better!) but from what I've seen, it's magic!

This week, Sony also launched their adorable new VAIOs, the super colorful VAIO E. Vince and I were invited to a lovely dinner for the launch but I wasn't feeling well and Vince had to stay at work so we didn't show up. Therese and Avvy of Virtusio, if you're reading this, I'm sorry! Was this the series you were launching? Just wondering...
I think these babies are beyond cute but Sony really has to offer better laptop deals--their laptops are insanely overpriced so, much as I want a VAIO, I bought my HP Mini instead (which I love!) and if I ever get oodles of money, I'd buy a MAC!

Or an iPad. I read that Sony plans to copy the iPad. Sony's CFO Nobuyuki Oneda said, "We are confident we have the skills to create a [similar] product." I'm sure, but again, Sony, you have to make your prices competitive. Since the iPad is only around $500 (P23,000), that's an unbeatable price for such an amazing gadget!

We're definitely getting the iPad come March. But we have to buy that Olympus EP1 first! How about you? Any gadget lusts?

I haven't been to Boracay since 2004. Don't feel bad for me, folks, I'm not a beach person. But 6 years away from the most famous beach in the Philippines is starting to feel wrong. My days these days have been filled with work, clinic appointments, inquiring after medical and life insurance quotes, reading pregnancy books, hugging the toilet as I vomit my meal yet again... So, before Jelly Bean takes over our lives, I think it's time for more getaways (yes, more trips aside from Tagaytay and Cebu!). And if I'm lucky, I can go have an all-expense-paid trip to the island!

Boracay Packages is having a fabulous contest open to everyone in the entire world! In celebration of its 5th anniversary (hey, it's the 5th anniversary of OK! Philippines, too!), the site is treating 2 people to a 5-day stay at the lovely Le Soleil de Boracay! Here are the details:


WOW Philippines Travel Agency, Inc. is celebrating its 5th year in business on July of 2010, and we would like you to have a chance to celebrate with us. We decided to give away a FREE Boracay Package complete with 5-Star accommodations at the luxurious Le Soleil de Boracay Hotel on Boracay Island. The lucky winner will win the following Boracay vacation package:

Vacation Package Inclusions:
- 5 Days / 4 Nights Luxury 5-Star Accommodations at the Le Soleil de Boracay Hotel
- Flights to Boracay from Manila to Caticlan Airport on Philippine Airlines
- Island Transfers - Door-to-Door from Manila to the resort and back to Manila
- Three (3) Meals each day, Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner
- Boracay Activities - Horseback Riding, Island Hopping, Glass Bottom Boat
- PLUS - 5,000 peso Spending Cash


Oh, I want to win this! To be honest, it was the Philippine Airlines aspect that won me over. Really don't want to fly on Cebu Pacific anymore. But that's another story for another day! Let me just look for my ancient Boracay photos so you can see how much I enjoyed Boracay. And that's coming from a girl who hates sun and sand!

If you want to join the contest yourself, click here!

Mariel and I were at Kate's atelier and we had such a fun time just choosing cloth swatches, designs, accessories. Well, the truth is Kate drew and drew and Mariel and I just oohed and clapped in delight. Why were we there? Mariel's wedding is coming up! So excited for my dear friend.

So I had my measurements taken for my gown and, let me tell ya, I'm a little alarmed at my size. Everything's about 3-5 inches bigger. Good for the boobies but the waist and hips? Yikes! It's not that I'm being vain. It's more like I feel this is a stranger's body. Last time I checked, my waist was 26; now it's 31! I guess if it was a gradual gain, I'd think nothing of it but, my goodness, every time I look in the mirror, I do a double take, "Who's that?!"

For the first time in my life, I've started thinking seriously about exercise and diets. I look at the Kardashian sisters' bodies for example (here's their pic when they did a Quick Trim review) and I find myself wondering if I'm ever going to need to work hard to get thin again.All my mommy friends tell me--almost gleefully--that, "No, you'll never get your body back!" and I feel a little sad. Not because I'm vain but because I like my body--the skinny, flat-chested, bony-kneed me. It's who I am and, despite being taunted for being a skeleton all my life, I really like my eat-all-I-can-yet-remain-skinny self.

I've always been super thin. I can spend the entire day at the buffet and not gain an ounce. I've never owned a weighing scale but, now that I'm pregnant, I got a nice bathroom scale that I step onto every morning and evening. That needle has climbed to 112 lbs. That's way beyond my average weight of 100 lbs--which is my 30's weight. In my 20's, I was an average of 95 lbs. In my late teens, I tipped it at 90 lbs. Nope, no eating disorder. My family and I are just naturally skinny. My husband is slim, too.

At the OB's office last week, my OBG told me I'm gaining too much weight and put me on a diet--more leaves and salads and grains, no more sweets and fatty stuff. I'm not even a fan of sweets and fatty stuff! I'm already eating less than I used to (blame the nausea)! Where on earth are the pounds coming from?

Curiouser and curiouser indeed. In other news, we're very excited about the baby. Vince says he can't wait to see me get big. I also want to see myself get big, but in the boob and tummy areas only. I'd like to look like Nicole Richie when she was pregnant. This is what I expect actually since my mother, when she was pregnant, always looked like she just swallowed a basketball. But with my fast weight gain and my OBG's confirmation that I am indeed piling it on, I don't think I'll be anything like Mama!

Thanks, GQ! Any magazine with Johnny Depp on its cover is the perfect magazine cover really. What a dreamboat!

I think I'm finally enjoying my pregnancy. I say that cautiously because, well, I never know when the nausea will strike. Well, I do know now when it will strike--after I take my prenatal vitamins--but the nausea has indeed lessened. Plus, I have more energy and my acne is clearing up (thanks to Murad and VMV, damn expensive but working!). What I'm really happy about is the "less nausea" part. That has got to be the worst thing ever about pregnancy. However, ask me again when the varicose veins, stretchmarks, fat, and labor come!



Anyway, right now I'm thinking about that whole Kris-James-sugod the fan issue. So weird that after she goes on and on righteously saying "I'm a wife. I have to protect my marriage!", she announces just as righteously to all and sundry that she's now separated from him. Er, I thought she was saving her marriage? Let me be clear on one thing: I'm a wife, too, so I have no issue with Kris confronting that Mayen woman. Mayen threatened Kris' marriage and it is only right that Kris go and annihilate the threat. But now that she has, what does she do? She leaves. What the hell was all that fuss for then?

Let me tell you how Vince and I see marriage. We see ourselves as a pair of scissors. Separate, we are each a blade--we each have our own purpose; therefore we are not meaningless individuals. Together, we still have the same purpose but we work together towards one goal. And whatever comes between us, we destroy. This we both agreed on--for better or worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, till death do us part. Only death will separate us. That's the plan. There is no other plan.  

Let me tell you about another couple with no other plan. When Playboy asked Will Smith if he and wife Jada signed a prenuptial agreement, he replied, "No. I don't even like the concept of a prenup. The idea is that this is going to work out and we're going to be together forever. I am the type of guy who doesn't have a plan B because plan B distracts from plan A."

Those are wise words for marriage and for life. Dream big. Let go. Jump in. Commit. Don't think about second chances. Think: This is it!

Life is about commitment. Freedom comes only with commitment. When I married Vince, I finally became free from insecurity, jealousy, doubt and fear. I know he feels the same way. We are free to love each other, to kiss, to make love, to get pregnant, to live the way we want because we committed our lives to each other. Why would I want to give that up? That is also part of our vows: To not just cherish but also to protect our marriage. So believe you me, if anything dare threaten my joy, I will rise up and crush it.

I know this announcement is 18 days late. That's because only 8 people joined my OK! contest so I figured that I'll reward all 8 ladies with an amazing beauty cream each! While I'd really love to give away grand prizes like a trip abroad (I hear that a stay at the Outer Banks rentals is exquisite in the summer), I'll have to content myself and my readers with the best face creams on the planet! Not bad, not bad. Et voila--I finally have them all here (with my amazing January issue!), and they are yours, my dearest ladies!

The prizes are (I arranged them with the most expensive product on top):
1. La Prairie Creme Cellulaire Platinum Rare

2. Lancome Renergie Morpholift Nuit Overnight Regeneration Cream

3. Lancome Renergie Morpholift Advanced Contour Serum

4. Shu Uemura B-G Reinforcing Gel Cream (with lotion and essence)

5. Kiehl's ACAI Damage-Repairing Serum

6. L'Oreal Paris Derma Genesis Cellular Youth Creator Day Creme

7. Avon Anew Rejuvenate Flash Facial Revitalizing Concentrate

8. Kiehl's Rare Earth Pore Minimizing Lotion

And the winners are (just match your name with the numbers above!):

Congratulations! Kindly email your your full name, shipping address and contact numbers to frances@topazhorizon.com so I can send you your lovely prize soonest.

Again, thank you for joining my contest and for being ever so patient with me. I hope you've already gotten the January issue of OK! magazine. It is our first and super fantabulous offering for 2010 and it's so super juicy! Grab an issue now while there are still some left!

Hello, hello, hello! I didn't forget my Sun Life Planner contest, kids!

And I must announce it now while it's still January or else you won't want a nice planner anymore from my favorite insurance company (oy, plug! Do I get a free accident/health/pension plan now? Or can I just ask for the sweet ka-ching of gold coins in my account? Joke! Eww, so jologs to say, "Joke!").

Anyway! Five winners! Here they are (the Top 5 names):

Congratulations! Kindly email your your full name, shipping address and contact numbers to frances@topazhorizon.com so Teeyah can send you your planners asap!

P.S. OK! contest winners up next!

Last night, our friend Neil had a few beers with Vince here at home. Neil has three fabulous kids and he was telling us that kids are a great joy... and a great pain in the neck! Harhar. So he was urging us to go and have adventures now, while Jelly Bean is still not around to take over our lives.

Well, that's been exactly how we're feeling so I've booked a nice weekend at 8 Suites, this lovely new boutique hotel in Tagaytay.

We're also spending another weekend in Cebu at Be Hotel, which is a lovely place but I think they went overboard with the pastel colors.

Then I want to go see Disneyland in California (regular readers know I love Disneyland!) but Vince wants to go to Vegas. And we also want to go to Singapore to buy that camera I was telling you about, the one Vince now wants to buy for the baby. It isn't available here (boo!) but Singapore has it so we're thinking of flying there to check. Then I also want to visit my friend Kat in NYC but I'm waiting for summer to decide since I hate the cold.

While we have our nice matching Echolac luggage (we bought them for our London honeymoon), I've started browsing travel accessories sites for Samsonite luggage. I really like my little attache case and I was wondering if there was a matching suitcase.

I think it would be sooooo cool to have pink bags. For one thing, they'd really pop out on that conveyor belt. But don't worry, Vince (I know you're reading this!), I won't buy new luggage. It's enough you agreed to go on a travel spree with me!  

But I won't be around for long, I think. I just had lunch and now I'm sleepy. I'm catching up with my blog updates and I am really missing blogging, too! Maybe I'll blog again later.

So what have I been up to? Well, it's been a super busy week at work, which is just how I like it. The nausea is almost gone and I can eat a bit better now--as some moms out there know, morning sickness, dizziness and fatigue can be some of the best appetite suppressants ever, which is kinda ironic since this is when we need to eat more and be healthier!

Now that I'm feeling better, I visited my facialist yesterday at Murad so that my pregnancy acne can be managed and I also went shopping. That was fun! Today, I will sleep. Then later this afternoon, my sister and I will have our nails done and do some shopping. Sisters are the best thing in the world really. Okay, after husbands and maybe kids (I don't have an opinion about that yet, okay?) Then I'll blog again tonight! I promise a more substantial post!

Have a nice weekend, everybody!

Today, people are back to school, back to work. I am in bed. Sick to my stomach and reeling from morning sickness. It's 2 PM. So let's just call it all-day nausea.

I have tons to do:
1. pay bills
2. pay property taxes
3. steam clothes
4. do the grocery
5. buy electrical supplies (two chandelier lights are busted and we need an extension cord for my cute new retro pink fan--thanks, Vince!)
6. look for a cleaning lady
7. announce the winners (yes, plural!) of my OK! contest.

Oh, and I also have to make the cover of the February issue of OK!. I am exhausted just thinking about what I need to do!

What I did do is make a mommy blog. Yup, I figured that since a lot of my readers are young and single, you'd get bored silly of my preggy stories. So I'm keeping this blog fun and fabulous and I'm putting the pregnant/parenting experience in the other blog (it's called Topaz Mommy) for my other readers who happen to be cool mommies already. So all my readers are happy!

My blogging friend, Teeyah, asked me this question and the only answer I can come up with is "Have enough money to pay for the baby!" But that's kinda dumb because Vince and I already have enough saved up for the baby. So what we really need to do is find ways on how we can make our money work for us. Our savings are all in the bank but we know there are other ways to make money grow faster, like stocks, bonds, treasury bills, time deposits, etc. But we're not well-versed in matters like that so, for 2010, our financial goal is to understand what money-growing tool we should invest in... and invest in it!

We're also thinking of buying medical insurance and pension plans and college education plans. But maybe the college plan is dumb because what if the kid doesn't want to go to college (I don't believe in college)? As for life insurance plans, we already have those--we bought policies when Vince and I were in our mid-20s, which means the life insurance rates we pay are really low. I suggest that you buy a policy, too! Mine is the Sun Milady Plus from Sun Life and I pay just P3,000++ every 3 months. So affordable!

How about you? What's your financial goal this year? Leave your answer in my comment box and you can win your very own Sun Life Daily Organizer!

You have until January 15 to join this contest and win that planner. Five readers get their very own planner delivered right to their doorstep!

This is out of Teeyah's generosity, by the way! Thanks, T, and I promise to announce the winners of my OK! contest this week!!!

In my job, I always come across glamorous stars who say that they're really boring in real life. Style icon Victoria Beckham says she's happiest when she's home with her boys or watching DVDs with hunky hubby David in bed. Then you have stars like Tiger Woods who have an impeccable reputation but an unbelievable secret life!

So let's talk about reputations and what's really the truth. Now that I'm going to have a kid, my fear is—irrational though it may be—my fear is that when my kid accuses me one day of being the most boring person on earth, I'm afraid that will be the honest truth. I am boring. I don't have a secret sordid past. I don't have any exciting adventures.
Now, when it comes to Vince, that's a different story. Here he is at our joint bridal shower/stag party with hot Brazilian models. Though my husband is now very well behaved, he has mighty impressive tales of debauchery and seduction, of wild nights and days of drunken stupor, of exciting travels to exotic places... whereas I don't. My husband is the craziest, funniest, most exciting, most fascinating person I know even though he looks like a saint. Me, I'm a saint. Well, depends on who you ask, I guess, but more on that later.

Soon after Vince and I started dating, he asked me what kind of girl I was in college: what orgs was I a member of, which bars did I hang out in, how many guys have I slept with, and all that shit. I very proudly told him how saintly I was. He kinda guffawed in disbelief. So I asked him, "If you had met me in college, would you have asked me out?"

He laughed, "Church youth leader, curfew at 6 pm and you don't drink? No way!"

"So why are you so interested now?!"

"You're the smartest girl I've ever met. That's why I love you."

I'm the smartest girl he's ever met. Not the most beautiful, not the sexiest but the smartest. Hardly what a girl would like to hear but I'd take it.

This is me, still at the bridal shower, but see how conservative I am? I refused to have my photo taken with the boys without Vince because I was scared photos of me alone with strange men might surface on the Internet (see Exhibit A: Vince and Brazilian models) and people will gossip about me! How square is that?! 

The truth is I'm a girl who studied in a convent, then in a special science high school, then took up writing in college, then got a coveted fellowship in a national writers workshop (where I met a long-haired hungover Vince), taught preschool, wrote a senator's speeches, did PR work, then made a magazine. I fell in love with Vince at 22, married him at 30, got pregnant with his baby at 33. I'm the girl who usually made the right choice and played it safe. I've never gotten drunk, never did drugs, never slept around, never kissed a girl, never ever did anything fun! The dirtiest thing about me is my language. I try really hard not to swear (especially when I'm around my family, little kids and my Born-Again friends) but if you ever meet me and I say, "Fuck you!", that's just my way of saying hi when I'm very happy.

If you ask people from my high school, however, they'd tell you I was a slut. I have no idea how that rumor came to be. Let me remind you that I was a Bible-thumping, church-going nerd with a 6 pm curfew (okay, and a potty mouth). I remember in college, I met this old high school classmate. She was studying in UPLB and she was visiting friends in the Diliman campus, where I was. She looked at me with worry and said, "Hey, how's your kid?"

"My what?!"

"I heard you have a three-year-old daughter and you don't know who the father is."

I just stared at her. "Weren't we seatmates in sophomore year?"

"Yes."

"You saw me every single day when we were 15. Did you ever see my tummy grow?"

"Er... no."

"Did you ever see me look pregnant? Hear I gave birth? Did my flat chest ever blossom to breastfeeding proportions?"

"No."

"Then why would you believe I have a three-year-old kid, you idiot?! And it's a girl, too! And there's no father! Unbelievable! Those details! Who makes up this shit?"

So I was a good girl with a bad reputation. I always hated that. But now, with a kid growing in me, I somehow wish that I did have a few tales that would make my kid's eyes widen and that he/she would see me in a different light, that mom isn't just boring old mom but a woman of mystery and unbridled passion, a woman who took frightening risks and hid explosive secrets. Well, I'm not that woman.

My kid will just have to look at Vince and think, "At least I have a cool dad!"

CLARIFICATION:
Thanks for all the sweet comments but I think I was misunderstood, I don't mean that I wish I had done some bad things. I mean I wish I had traveled the world, written a few books, climbed a mountain, seen more things, met more people... really LIVED, like my husband. He's truly had an amazing life. Me? I've lived through books and movies but basically spent the last 30 years at home. Tragic! And lest the people who really know me start laughing their heads off, maybe I shouldn't have used the word "saint" to describe myself since I, well, I've done stuff that would make saints blush. In the words of my hubby, "You aren't bad enough, but when you're bad, you're really good."