Friday, January 29, 2010

Piling on the pounds

Mariel and I were at Kate's atelier and we had such a fun time just choosing cloth swatches, designs, accessories. Well, the truth is Kate drew and drew and Mariel and I just oohed and clapped in delight. Why were we there? Mariel's wedding is coming up! So excited for my dear friend.

So I had my measurements taken for my gown and, let me tell ya, I'm a little alarmed at my size. Everything's about 3-5 inches bigger. Good for the boobies but the waist and hips? Yikes! It's not that I'm being vain. It's more like I feel this is a stranger's body. Last time I checked, my waist was 26; now it's 31! I guess if it was a gradual gain, I'd think nothing of it but, my goodness, every time I look in the mirror, I do a double take, "Who's that?!"

For the first time in my life, I've started thinking seriously about exercise and diets. I look at the Kardashian sisters' bodies for example (here's their pic when they did a Quick Trim review) and I find myself wondering if I'm ever going to need to work hard to get thin again.All my mommy friends tell me--almost gleefully--that, "No, you'll never get your body back!" and I feel a little sad. Not because I'm vain but because I like my body--the skinny, flat-chested, bony-kneed me. It's who I am and, despite being taunted for being a skeleton all my life, I really like my eat-all-I-can-yet-remain-skinny self.

I've always been super thin. I can spend the entire day at the buffet and not gain an ounce. I've never owned a weighing scale but, now that I'm pregnant, I got a nice bathroom scale that I step onto every morning and evening. That needle has climbed to 112 lbs. That's way beyond my average weight of 100 lbs--which is my 30's weight. In my 20's, I was an average of 95 lbs. In my late teens, I tipped it at 90 lbs. Nope, no eating disorder. My family and I are just naturally skinny. My husband is slim, too.

At the OB's office last week, my OBG told me I'm gaining too much weight and put me on a diet--more leaves and salads and grains, no more sweets and fatty stuff. I'm not even a fan of sweets and fatty stuff! I'm already eating less than I used to (blame the nausea)! Where on earth are the pounds coming from?

Curiouser and curiouser indeed. In other news, we're very excited about the baby. Vince says he can't wait to see me get big. I also want to see myself get big, but in the boob and tummy areas only. I'd like to look like Nicole Richie when she was pregnant. This is what I expect actually since my mother, when she was pregnant, always looked like she just swallowed a basketball. But with my fast weight gain and my OBG's confirmation that I am indeed piling it on, I don't think I'll be anything like Mama!

Monday, January 25, 2010

Now this is a magazine cover!


Thanks, GQ! Any magazine with Johnny Depp on its cover is the perfect magazine cover really. What a dreamboat!

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

There is no Plan B

I think I'm finally enjoying my pregnancy. I say that cautiously because, well, I never know when the nausea will strike. Well, I do know now when it will strike--after I take my prenatal vitamins--but the nausea has indeed lessened. Plus, I have more energy and my acne is clearing up (thanks to Murad and VMV, damn expensive but working!). What I'm really happy about is the "less nausea" part. That has got to be the worst thing ever about pregnancy. However, ask me again when the varicose veins, stretchmarks, fat, and labor come!



Anyway, right now I'm thinking about that whole Kris-James-sugod the fan issue. So weird that after she goes on and on righteously saying "I'm a wife. I have to protect my marriage!", she announces just as righteously to all and sundry that she's now separated from him. Er, I thought she was saving her marriage? Let me be clear on one thing: I'm a wife, too, so I have no issue with Kris confronting that Mayen woman. Mayen threatened Kris' marriage and it is only right that Kris go and annihilate the threat. But now that she has, what does she do? She leaves. What the hell was all that fuss for then?

Let me tell you how Vince and I see marriage. We see ourselves as a pair of scissors. Separate, we are each a blade--we each have our own purpose; therefore we are not meaningless individuals. Together, we still have the same purpose but we work together towards one goal. And whatever comes between us, we destroy. This we both agreed on--for better or worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, till death do us part. Only death will separate us. That's the plan. There is no other plan.  

Let me tell you about another couple with no other plan. When Playboy asked Will Smith if he and wife Jada signed a prenuptial agreement, he replied, "No. I don't even like the concept of a prenup. The idea is that this is going to work out and we're going to be together forever. I am the type of guy who doesn't have a plan B because plan B distracts from plan A."

Those are wise words for marriage and for life. Dream big. Let go. Jump in. Commit. Don't think about second chances. Think: This is it!

Life is about commitment. Freedom comes only with commitment. When I married Vince, I finally became free from insecurity, jealousy, doubt and fear. I know he feels the same way. We are free to love each other, to kiss, to make love, to get pregnant, to live the way we want because we committed our lives to each other. Why would I want to give that up? That is also part of our vows: To not just cherish but also to protect our marriage. So believe you me, if anything dare threaten my joy, I will rise up and crush it.