Monday, September 28, 2015

Goop helps new men's lifestyle brand Covetton. The advice is gold!

And golden tips not just for Stephen Colbert but also for everyone with a lifestyle blog or website. Like me!

But first, a background:

Last week, new The Late Show host Stephen Colbert poked fun at all the lifestyle brands popping up everywhere. Watch:



Hilarious because it's so very true—every single thing he said. But, hey, I love Gwyneth, Reese, Ellen, and Blake! Why? Because unlike many people, I don't want my celebrities to be just like us. I want them to be gorgeous and perfect, impeccably dressed, living a lifestyle that is so impossibly fantastic, that will always be beyond my reach. I want them to be goddesses. I mean, there are women that inspire me to be better, to make me aspire for more. Then there are women that I just want to entertain me, and not entertain with tabloid drama but with an ethereal, out-of-my-world kind of lifestyle.

Yes, I love all these lifestyle brands my favorite celebrities are doing! Even though we all know that their brands border on the ridiculous!

I loved it especially when Gwyneth, my former life peg (former because her marriage ended and I can't aspire for that!), retorted to Colbert's mockery of her Goop-ness with this clever article: 6 Fail-Proof Tips for Launching a Men's Lifetsyle Site. I snorted with laughter when I read this welcoming line, "It's about time someone brought a sausage or two to this clam bake."

What I appreciated more was the advice she gives. Here's the not-so-funny summary hidden underneath her 6 cheeky tips:

1. Look good.
In the world of social media, what you look like matters. Whether you see that as fortunate or unfortunate, that's how the online world works. People think if you look good, you're credible. It's not as shallow as it sounds. If you want people to think you care about what you write about, then you must care about all the other details—including your appearance.

2. Be in the know.
You have to be the first to report an event, a new find, a new recipe, a new everything. But as there is, crazily enough, nothing new under the sun, you can also just retell something old in a fresh new angle, give it a new spin, make it your own. If you're the first, people will share your article or photo. If you're original, then even better.

3. Promote in every way you know.
In the vastness of cyberspace, how do you stand out? Yep, you may be original but if no one knows about it, then all is for naught. Use SEO, use click bait (ugh, I know everyone hates this but it works), and promote your blog/product/website/article on every social media platform.  

4. Create a reputation for curation.
Share what you love. Be generous with what you know. People like finding out about new stuff, what works, what doesn't, what's worth spending on. You don't have to be Goop-levels about it, but once people know you like certain things—from colors and words you constantly use to food and places you adore!—they associate you with it and will always think about you when they encounter it. For example, I always think of George Takei when I see, "Ohhh myyyy." I think of Barbie when I see bubblegum pink.

5. Cook. And eat.
Well, as Goop said, "every lifestyle brand worth its salt has a food section." But what a food section does is it makes the brand relatable because we all eat. We're all interested in food. We all love food. And we all like people just a bit more when we know they love to eat. Even when the ingredients are all kale and chia seeds and quinoa, right???

6. Have integrity. 
But seriously, whether you love simple hearty meals or a menu featuring Russian caviar, whether you enjoy a staycation with your favorite DVDs or indulge in jetsetter holidays, whether you decorate with thrift finds or with furniture flown in from Scandinavia, always feature stuff you love, you tested, you approve. Don't feature it just because it's new—do so because you love it. Don't blog about a TV phenomenon because it has 25 million Tweets if you don't genuinely follow it. Be yourself. Be honest. Be real.

There you go—advice from the queen of all lifestyle brands herself (sorry, Martha Stewart!). Now, let's all do what Goop says! Good luck!

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Thursday, September 24, 2015

My roles in life

I just realized this year that I am an entrepreneur because my blogging is my business. It's not a hobby anymore.

Hobby. It took me ten years of blogging to realize that this blogging isn't a hobby. I was thinking of this over the last few months, how all my life I've avoided labels. Just ask Vince. It took me a long time before I finally agreed to be called his girlfriend even though I was, duh, his girlfriend. After we married, I resisted changing my last name because I couldn't see myself responding to "Mrs. Sales." When I started blogging and people asked if I was a blogger, I used to say, "I'm not a blogger. I just have an online journal." On a plane to London, a woman sitting beside me asked what I did for a living. I replied, "I work for a magazine publishing company. I write. I edit." And she said, "You're a journalist." And I replied, "No, no. That sounds so serious!" 

Fear of commitment, that's what it is. As Dumbledore told Harry Potter, "Always use the proper name for things. Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself." 

I didn't like labels because I was scared to be tied to them and the responsibilities they came with.

Well, here we go: 

I am a wife. 
I am a mother. 
I am a writer. 
I am an editor. 
I am a journalist. 
I am a blogger. 
I am a friend. 
I am a sister. 
I am a businesswoman. 
I am a child of God. 

Funny how someone who always proclaimed that she's so proud to be who she is couldn't embrace the names of all that she is. Doesn't make sense, right? Well, to me, back then, to claim a name meant putting myself in a box. If people identify me as a blogger, what will happen if I give it up? If I become a wife, what happens when the marriage ends? If I tell people I'm a Born Again Christian, what happens when I fail and sin? Better to be safe and just live quietly.

Well, I'm finally claiming all these roles. Motherhood made me do it. That was what did it. Motherhood was a role I could never run away from, and accepting that role made me embrace everything else. And you know what? I love this new life of roles. I guess it comes from now knowing who I really am and not being afraid to be that. There is no longer the insecurity that plagues the young. There is no more doubt. I am who I am and I like me very much. Fabulousness and flaws.
Enjoying all my roles. Here I am mother, blogger and teacher. 

Wow. I'm finally proud of who I am. I guess I never was. Felt like all my life I was trying to prove I was somebody but deep inside I wasn't really sure that somebody was someone to be proud of. Despite all I've accomplished in career and life! Imagine that! 

Thank goodness the years have changed me! I love growing old. That's why I think I'm coming out of my shell now. I'm open to do workshops and meet my readers, meet new people, because I now truly believe I have a lot to offer and I'm also willing to learn more. I want to tell people who I am and what I know—not just what I think—and hope this can help them. I want to add to my roles. I'm now humble enough to ask for and accept help to grow and mature. I'm also now confident enough of whatever I've achieved. I'm enough. Whatever and whoever I am now, I like it. Of course, I want to improve myself (as wife and mother, most definitely!) but I also know I'm doing okay. Yes, I'm okay. 

I hope you're also okay. God bless you!

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Monday, September 21, 2015

A successful morning routine

Good morning, everyone! I'm curious to know what your morning routine is, especially those who are moms. I need a morning routine that will work for me. Whatever I'm doing now is just not helping me or my family.

I don't want to give a too detailed account of my mornings but let me just say that I have finally acknowledged that waking up after the kids is not ideal. I really must rise with them, or before they do. That means I have to wake up at 6:30. Trouble is I get up at 8 and that's because my kids are either fighting or yelling for us to wash their butts (they don't like the yayas to do it), and then we're up in a panic and then the rest of the day unfolds in a rushed and chaotic manner.

I wish I could wake up before the kids do. I've tried. I just end up like a zombie. That's because I stayed up late the night before. I usually sleep at 2 or 3 a..m. That gives me 5-6 hours of interrupted sleep. Interrupted by breastfeedings and cuddles from all three kids. (Maybe it's time to wean so I can sleep with my husband instead!) I also can't sleep well with my kids because a little cough, a murmur, or a whimper from a nightmare wakes me up. Imagine that multiplied by 3 boys and then you get a picture of my troubled slumber.

I need to sleep. If I wake up at 6, that means just 3 hours of sleep!

Anyway, a working mom advised me to sleep when the kids sleep (that will be 8:30 p.m.), then wake at 3 a.m. to start my day. I get peace and quiet for 3 hours, which will allow me to focus on work, prayer, myself and home management. It sounds heavenly. Three hours of peace and quiet after 7 hours of sleep! I imagine it like this:
3 a.m. Prayer and devotions
3:30 - 5:30 a.m. Work (writing and attending to correspondence)
5:30 - 6 a.m. Greet the sunrise! Shower and dress up
6 - 6:30 a.m. Assign the day's tasks to household help, prepare baon
7 a.m. Eat breakfast with the boys
The rest of the morning I can devote to my family and myself, like bring Vito to school, play with my younger sons, have breakfast with my husband, do errands, go to the gym. I don't need to worry about work because it's been taken care of. Then I can spend a few hours in the afternoon working again—meetings, events, taking pictures of products, shoots, etc. Then dinner at 7pm, in bed at 8!

It really sounds amazing except for one thing: where does my marriage fit in this scenario???

Vince and I spend time together at night, when the kids are asleep. That's when we talk about our day, watch TV shows or movies, be married. If I sleep when the kids sleep, those precious few hours spent nurturing our relationship will be gone.

I am obviously resisting the early wake up call, right?

One of my favorite Bible passages is from Psalm 5, which clearly says we call unto God as soon as we wake up.

I haven't done any devotions in months. Months! This spiritual drought is costing me my relationships here at home. Since I start my day in chaos, everyone is affected by my panic and stress. I'm rushing everyone. I snap at the smallest things. I yell a lot. Not proud of that and I hate to blog about this nasty side of me. That's why I'm not blogging! I don't want my nastiness to leach into such a public space. But here I am, being honest, and hoping that maybe you relate, understand even, and maybe give me some advice. I really need to change how I start my day.

When I used to start my day with prayer and devotions, I was kind, generous, patient, forgiving... basically a much nicer person. Of course! My husband has told me more than once that he likes it when I'm attending to my faith because I'm just a nicer person when I pray and read God's Word.

I feel strange sometimes. My life is amazing. AMAZING. I look at my kids, my husband, my work, even myself—it's crazy how lucky I am. And in that same moment, I'm also looking at my pimples and flabby belly, at work deadlines and how I can earn more money if I were just a bit more organized and have more time to work, I look at the mess of Legos everywhere, and the fact that my husband and I never get to finish our conversations because the kids are always interrupting, and I'm filled with irritation.

I feel like I'm living everything I've ever dreamed of (and beyond!) and at the same time I'm losing control. I'm happy and grateful but I don't act like it. I don't want my husband and kids to think I'm unhappy and I don't cherish our wonderful life, because I am and I do. Oh, how I do!

So... yeah. I haven't really been the kind of wife and mommy God wants me to be lately. And I think it all boils down to me not having a good morning routine. In fact, I need to change my entire day. I need to devote time not only to prayer, but to my kids, my husband, my work, my home, and myself. How is this even possible??? I'm so overwhelmed. I don't know what to do.

How do you do it? Please help! I'll try to implement some changes (like maybe sleep earlier!) and will tell you how I'm doing in a few months! Wish me luck!


Helpful reads:
10 ways successful people start their mornings
Why creating a meaningful morning routine will make you more successful


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