Tuesday, October 13, 2020

Happy 10th birthday to the mama in me

A few weeks ago, my eldest boy turned 10 years old. As with the quarantine birthdays of our kids this year, it was a simple affair. But this 10th birthday was a quieter party than the parties of his younger brothers. He just wanted to eat his simple chocolate cake, open his gifts, and then play video games all day. And that was his birthday. 

I thought, it being a double-digit birthday and therefore a milestone, that he'd ask for more. But he wouldn't even allow me to buy him a special cake. "Just the usual, Mama," he insisted. He's been like this since he was 7, asking for experiences rather than things. And when he does ask for things, they're not much. His Papa is the one who would buy more than what our eldest boy asks for. His Papa is always extra excited to shower gifts on his sons. And it's extra fun to give gifts to our first boy because he gets surprised at all the extra boxes he gets. 


But I gotta say I was a wee bit disappointed that we had a quiet celebration. Later on, I realized maybe I also wanted to celebrate me. It's not just my not-so-little boy who turned 10 years old. I'm celebrating a decade of being a mom, too. And you know how people throw over-the-top parties when their kids turn a year old and some people are like, "Gee, it's not like the baby will remember this party..."? Well, I know from all my over-the-top mommy friends that the party isn't for the baby really. It's for the mommy and daddy.


Because it's not easy to make a little human being, take care of it, make sure it's not just alive but happy and healthy, too. And then you have to do other things like stimulate your child's brain, discover and nurture talents, teach skills for independence, send him to the best school you can afford, and on top of all that, you have to make sure your child is polite, good, kind, and just the type of person who will be an asset to humanity. Like, who said parents are qualified for all that???  


So here I am, 10 years later. That little baby boy in my arms is now a wonderful young man. He's super smart, funny, and affectionate. He does all his chores, is super independent, and yet he's also still a baby - not childish, but wonderfully unworldly. He's sooo nerdy and quite creative. He plays the piano every day. He's written books this whole quarantine! How did I ever make this dream of a child come true? Was it me? Was it his Papa? Or was it just him? 


Ten years. Where did it all go? All I can remember is laughter and tears and so much love. Oh, and ten years of sleepless nights and long days. So exhausting. But I survived. I thrived. Most importantly, my kids are happy, healthy, and so wonderful. The 33-year-old mommy in these photos didn't think she'd be capable of all that. She's grown a lot, was humbled a lot, and learned to love a lot. I am so proud of myself for a full decade of being a good mom. And maybe sometimes, I'm amazing, too.

Thank you for being the boy who changed my life, Vito. Happy birthday, my dearest darling boy.    

Saturday, October 10, 2020

Mama's prayer for the lifelong work of her children

In a purple folder in my closet are all the letters Mama ever wrote me. A daughter only appreciates the words of her mother when she becomes a mother herself. I loved Mama's letters before but when I became a mommy, I always have to wipe away my tears because I read her words and my mama heart knows why she wrote them.  


Today, I want to share with you her prayer for me and my siblings when it comes to our life's work. This was very important to her. Mama was a working woman. She never wanted to get married or have kids. She just always wanted to work because work made her happy. 

I'm like her. But I don't want to end up like her - worked to the bone yet buried in debt, gave her all to her family yet we never fully appreciated her. 

I'm always assessing my life as a result. I don't mind not having the job of my dreams because I already had it, twice: a magazine editor in chief and a columnist (I think of my blog as one, although I did have a newspaper column before and I now have my Project Vanity column, too). 

I've shifted my mindset, just late last year actually. My new thinking is this: My real job right now is to be mommy. And everything I do that makes me money makes that important job possible. It's helped a lot in changing my attitude towards my children and all the projects I accept. I don't expect happiness to come with the job, because happiness is not the purpose of motherhood. My purpose is to raise my children to be good people, who will be independent and will find their own purpose in life and make a difference in the world - be that world big or small. But I do find joy (that's different from happiness!) in my work because I am working towards a purpose. 

I've also changed my mind towards my work. Before I'd be snobbish. Now, as long as it's legit and honest, it pays the bills, and won't compromise my real job (mommy!), I'll do it. Because I won't be a good mommy if my kids are hungry and if I'm not using the talents and skills God gave me. I still need to work because I am also more than mommy and I shouldn't neglect that huge part of me.

So! Let's go back to Mama's prayer. I'll transcribe it here:

Lord, 

Let their talents never be wasted, watered down by mediocrity, or used to glorify anything or anyone other than You, Lord. I pray that You would reveal to them what their life work is to be and help them excel in it. Bless the work of their hands and may they be able to earn a good living doing the work they love and do best. Your Word says that "A man's gift makes room for him and brings him before great men." (Proverbs 18:16). May whatever they do find favor with others and be well received and respected. But most of all, I pray that the gifts and talents You placed in them be released to find fullest expression in glorifying You. 

Amen. 

Wasn't that beautiful? I pray it over my children because that is now the cry of my heart. Bless my boys, O Lord. Bless us all. Amen.

Tuesday, October 06, 2020

What's in an emergency bag? Just get these SAVED by VERSES bags to find out!

There was an earthquake a few days ago. Totally freaked me out. I've lived in our high-rise for a loooong time so I've gone through many earthquakes but this last one scared me because I realized we can't just run out of our building; I have to make sure every child has a mask and face shield on first. Then an evacuation - and the crowds of shaken people - presents its own dangers, too, in the time of the COVID-19 pandemic. 

But Psalm 46*, the chapter on this special bag, says, "God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging." So we trust in the Lord as we also prepare for emergencies. 

Like this emergency bag called Saved. It's from the brand Verses, a company started by one of my old friends in the blogging advertising world, Jel Directo (congrats, Jel!). Being prepared for an emergency does help us have a tangible reminder of that peace that passes understanding. Read on to learn how to get your own Saved bag.

* * * * * * *

Starter 

PRESS RELEASE - Introducing to you a new essential addition to the product line of the Verses brand - not an emergency bag, not a go-bag but a 'saved bag'. As we live in a time of increasing uncertainty, having your own ready bag has become essential now, more than ever. 

Save time and effort in completing your emergency go-bag with our Saved bag. This easy-to-carry and handheld water-resistant backpack provides you with a comprehensive list of items to keep you equipped and ready for any local emergency and calamity.

Standard 

Conforming with the international standard of disaster preparedness kits, our saved bag follows a combination of Red Cross global, Ready Campaign by the US Department of Homeland Security, Get Prepared program by the Government of Canada, including a collection of personal interviews and local research.

Visit www.savedbyverses.com for more details.

Stellar 

*The whole chapter of Psalm 46: "God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging. 

"There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy place where the Most High dwells. God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day. Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall; he lifts his voice, the earth melts. 

"The LORD Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress. Come and see the works of the LORD, the desolations he has brought on the earth. He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth; he breaks the bow and shatters the spear, he burns the shields with fire. 

"'Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.' The LORD Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress."

*To be featured on Press Release Tuesdays, send it to frances@topazhorizon.com.