Thursday, January 27, 2022

I found a body fat percentage calculator!


New year, new health goals! First, I just want to say I am grateful that it's two years into the pandemic and we're healthy. I can't ever take that for granted. But I really shouldn't stop there. I need to get fit, too. I've gained weight in quarantine. It's just so good to eat! I never seemed to be able to eat well before, with me always running to and fro, stuck in traffic, and all a busy mama does. So for the past year or so, I've really been enjoying my meals... and my clothes have gotten tighter! 

The thing is my weight and BMI are still kinda okay so I got complacent. Then I read that what matters is body fat percentage. You can be heavy but if it's all dense bones and strong muscles, that's okay. But if you're skinny but you have no muscle and it's all just fat, then you're fat. Skinny fat. That's why it's important to know your body fat percentage. And I found a body fat percentage calculator!







So I'm 5 feet 3.5 inches tall (I rounded up hehe) and my weight is 135 lbs. So my body fat is 30.5%. That's a lot. As my results show, I am carrying around 41 lbs of body fat. FORTY-ONE POUNDS OF FAT! 

While the body fat percentage calculator said that's "acceptable", I was alarmed to know there's a child's weight in fat on me. 

At 30%+ body fat, I'm definitely bordering on obese. I don't look fat but I'm getting there, and fast! I really should lessen my food intake and exercise more. Wish me luck! 

P.S. By the way, as we are on the topic of food, my kids have discovered some food games online. They're quite fun! I've taken to playing them myself. Check out this burger-building game my son Iñigo liked a lot:


And here's another one. I personally like this because I love Tetris-type games and this one is great because it's made of chocolate blocks!



(Thanks, Iñigo, for making videos of the games you played on your YouTube channel!)

My kids love this culinary games site a lot because there are soooo many games to play and they learn a few things about cooking and the restaurant business. I also like it because instead of me eating food, I can just play with food now! That body fat percentage calculator really woke me up from my food coma. Try it, too! Then tell me your body fat percentage in the comments haha 

Wednesday, January 26, 2022

Hindsight

Facebook Memories today reminded me of something I probably shouldn't be reminded of:


Grabe, I sound so positive here. This is January 2017 and 2018. So my kids were 6, 4, and 2, and then 7, 5, and 3 respectively. Cutest years! 

But I was really drowning and overwhelmed those years. 

I have tons of these Facebook updates and blog posts from 2014 to 2019 saying, "I'm not sleeping anymore. I don't know what to do. I can't juggle. I'm sick again. Help me help me I can't do this!" But all I got was, "You're such a great mom! Such a natural! You can do it!" And I did do it. By God's grace, my husband's tenacity to hold on to our marriage, and my own love for my boys, I did it. 

I wonder sometimes if my joke-y manner (my way of surviving) backfired on me. No one believes me when I say I was struggling. Or was it just everyone's refusal to see, to acknowledge, to believe that a woman so blessed can have such a hard time with her blessings? 

No one believes me when I say I'm so glad my kids are bigger now. "But your babies and toddlers were so cute! You don't mean that." Oh, but I do. I do prefer them now, older, independent, helping with the chores. While the baby years were incredibly happy years, I also nearly lost my damn mind and marriage*. 

I still can't understand how such duality can exist. How can I be so happy and miserable at the same time? How can I be so sure that loving my babies is the best thing I'll ever do in my life and also be so terrified and doubtful every day?  Even when I look back, I still don't understand how such conflicting emotions existed in me for years and years. 

I don't even have the benefit of hindsight to tell me that if I did so and so and if I tried this and that, then it would have turned out better. Yes, even now, I still haven't gained any wisdom that would help me be the experienced mama sagely giving advice to new and terrified mommies. All I can tell them is, "One day at a time. Breathe. Pray." The words are true, but I doubt if those words can help any mommy who is drowning. 

Back then: Overwhelmed mom of the cutest little boys

Well, those years are over now. I'm settled now, more peaceful. Maybe because I can sleep more than 4 hours a night now. And I can sit down and eat now. I can take a real bath now, stay longer than 5 minutes in the bathroom now. I'm relaxed now. I can breathe better now. The pandemic helped. A world that slowed down was kinder to a mother who could barely cope. 

But my kids will get their COVID-19 vaccine this year. Hooray! The pandemic will soon end. And I'll have to start running around again. As all parents do. And not one of us is allowed to admit it's so damn hard or to ask for help because that's blowing the lid off the fact that parents may be the most blessed people in the entire world, but we are not okay. The constant pressure to be on our best behavior, the relentless workload to provide the best life possible for our kids, the looming threat of failure every day... Argh. A perpetual Sword of Damocles hanging over our heads.

When I was single, everyone told me, "Get married! Have kids! Best life ever!" The minute I got pregnant, everyone said, "Sleep now because you'll never sleep well again. Eat now, buy that now, go on that trip now because once the baby comes, you'll never eat/shop/travel the same way again." And pregnant me was like, "Great. Thanks a lot for telling me now when I can't do anything about that anymore."  

Well... It is the best life ever. For me, it is. I may be drowning sometimes but yeah, there's also that undeniable feeling of floating on joy. How does one drown and float at the same time? Will I forever wonder about this? Will motherhood be ever just one state - joy - with no worry, fear, anger, guilt, shame mixed in? 

I'll update you when I'm 60. Or 70. Till then, God bless us, mamas and papas!

*Whenever I say this, my husband always says, "We were never in trouble. You think we were, but I knew we were going to be okay." 


Monday, January 24, 2022

Breaking news: I'm alive and well and ready for 2022!

Hello hello! Happy New Year, my dearest Loyal Readers!

Omigosh I have been gone from this blog for quite a while! I had been so excited for 2022 (and I still am) but it looked like 2022 was excited for me, too. It ushered me into a new year with COVID-19 finally finding my family. Yes, despite our precautions and protective measures, COVID decided that if we're not going to go out of our house, it will go in instead!

So the last couple of weeks were a bit... busy. I don't want to say I was stressed out or scared because I wasn't. Well-meaning people told me not to be scared. To be very honest, I wasn't scared at all. I may be a worrier, and I worried a lot about COVID, but I use that worry to prepare for many of the things I worry about. It's how I manage the anxiety. Then when what I worry about finally happens, well, I already have peace of mind. I prepared for it, I was ready for it, I imagined all sorts of scenarios in the dead of sleepless nights. In the face of the reality of my imagined horrors, I know no fear. Because I know what to do. It already played out in my head. And so I just tightened my ponytail and got to work. 

My Covid Care Kit was ready. I had all the equipment and medications we needed. I had the doctors' names and phone numbers. I had the charts and lists. There was nothing to panic about. I just had to follow the steps I laid out months and months ago. I had prayed so many times about this that when it finally happened, my heart and mind were just calm. All the months of preparation and prayer made me peaceful. "This is it! I'm ready to fight!" 

And thankfully, my husband and eldest boy came out all right. God is good!


We were all okay. The first one who got it was Vito so we quarantined him in the boys' room. My two littlest boys camped out on the living room rug. We took out their plushies and blankies and pillows and made a really comfy bed right in front of the TV. They had lots of fun watching shows and playing video games while being super comfy in their makeshift bed!

Six days later, Vince got it, too. We had been taking turns caring for Vito and Vince thinks he forgot to put on a mask when he gave Vito a sponge bath so anyway he got it and he quarantined in our bedroom next.

And this was the scenario I didn't see - bathroom use! I had always assumed we would have one bathroom for the sick and one bathroom for the well. But both bathrooms now were used by the 2 patients and so us well ones had to disinfect the common bathroom after every time Vito used it and then we counted 30 minutes before we entered the bathroom. This has resulted in hilarious situations when nature was suddenly calling. Honestly, while the last few weeks have been a serious matter, there have also been many cases when we laughed and prayed and truly thought about how wonderful our life is. Look at our bunso missing his Papa:
 

Anyway, life didn't stop! While I cared for my two patients, I also had to care for the two little boys, do homeschool, do work, clean the house, prepare the meals... Yep, it never ceases to amaze me how the world can be falling around your ears and you still have to get up and keep going. 

I've gone through a few life disasters to now appreciate our ability to keep going. I especially know now, as a mama, how resilience matters when people are counting on you to keep the world a safe and happy place. Today, while we prayed, my kids said they never worried about COVID at all when it was here at our home. Not even Vito, who had a fever high enough to become delirious. "It was actually fun, Mama! You made it fun."

Goodness me. Now that, I wasn't prepared for that! Thank You, God, for helping me through it all.


So I'm finally not too busy anymore! I can blog again! I was planning to blog every Monday this January. I was also planning a New Year Giveaway! Next week, I'll finally get to it. We are going to have a great 2022, everyone! Come what may, we will count our blessings and be grateful. 

See you here again soon!