Thursday, September 11, 2025

Here's how to have a simple wedding

There’s nothing wrong with having a big church wedding with 300 guests, a gorgeous designer gown, and a wedding reception that costs the same as the deposit on a family home if that’s what you want. I have been to many outrageous, elegant, outlandish, or crazy weddings that obviously cost a pretty penny (lotsa them!) and they are all as meaningful as a civil wedding at city hall (yes, been to a city hall wedding, too!).

Our wedding looked fancy but it really was a simple affair.

Now if you're one of those who prefer a simpler, more minimalistic wedding that is just as beautiful, but which won’t cost nearly as much, then here are some ideas to help you create the simple wedding of your dreams:

Trim the Guest List
The first step to having a simpler wedding is trimming down the guest list. You do not have to invite everyone you know to your wedding. Only inviting the people you truly care about is what matters in a truly important event such as your wedding.

But in our dear country where everyone knows everybody, how does one get away with that??? You don't. You'll have angry neighbors, resentful relatives that you don't even know, and enemies even who can't comprehend why they weren't there to scowl at your happiness. How do you trim the guest list then? Here's what I accidentally did: Vince and I scheduled our wedding on a weekday because April 18 was the anniversary of our first kiss. Vince didn't want to remember another date, so April 18 it was even if it was a Thursday. I invited 250 people but only 140 RSVP'd they'll come. Why? "Because we have work." Guys, you work every day; I get married once in a lifetime. If you can't take the day off, half the day off even to attend my wedding then #alamnathis. 

Another tip my friends shared is to do a destination wedding. Invite everyone in the world! But pay only for the trip of a select few. Inviting everyone means you care for them but only the ones who care for you will spare the time and expense to be there. 

Semi-joking aside, I really wish Filipinos didn't get so sensitive about invitations. Weddings are so personal. So only the people who you really want to be part of your happiness should be there as this is the best way to ensure that you have a truly meaningful wedding day.

Buy the Rings Online
It’s not a wedding without the rings, but if shopping for jewelry isn’t your thing and you don’t want to be pressured by an insistent salesperson into going over your budget when she shows you lots of shiny things and flattering you, you can shop in peace at a great wedding ring website (check out https://www.whiteflash.com/wedding-rings/tacori/). As my Loyal Readers know, I am a huge fan of online shopping. It helps me consider lots of choices within my budget without having to talk to a stranger. If there had been local jewelry brands that had online shops back in my day, I'd definitely have shopped online!

Tip: Many jewelers also offer jewelry financing options, so you can comfortably pay for your dream rings in installments without stretching your wedding budget.

Vince's cute nephews (they're teenagers now)! We got our rings from a bridal fair—also a great place to find good deals. 

Buy Everything Online!
Since we're shopping for rings already, check out the rest of your wedding needs online. No need to spend for parking and gas and eating out. You have the entire world at your fingertips! You can buy your flowers, shoes, suits, gowns (check out styleaisle for fab gowns!), cake, and souvenirs from the comfort of your own home. The best part is you can save because you can compare prices and avail of discounts. Try it!


Limit the Dinner Choices
Okay, as a Pinoy, I firmly believe that you can make tipid on everything but never the food! Long after the day is done, you'll only have photos to remember the day, right? But your guests will remember the food. They won't remember your designer gown, your crystal goblets, your diamond-encrusted tiara, or the song of your first dance (although I do remember this one wedding where the newlyweds danced to "Maybe It's You." Maybe??? Everyone was giggling.). What they'll all remember for years to come is what you served them and if it was bad or good. 

I read somewhere that half your wedding budget should go to food. That sounds crazy but it's true. The longer your guest list, the bigger the food bill. It’s easy to spend a lot on food if you decide to offer a wide range of dishes and desserts, so what you do is limit the food choices. You don't need hundreds of different appetizers or a dozen cakes, right? Just a salad and few pika-pika, a meat course (with a choice of fish, meat or chicken maybe), some carbs like rice and pasta, and a couple of desserts, that's okay! As long as you ensure that there is at least one option for people with special dietary requirements such as vegans or allergy sufferers, then having a couple of simple options that are nice, but not too fancy is all you need.

We had a lovely sit-down dinner that our guests still talk about a decade after. Our cake was homemade by a friend.

While we’re on the subject of food, it’s much simpler to pay a little more and have the whole deal catered by a prefessional (try https://www.bitecatering.net/). Some things you can do yourself but when it comes to feeding a big group of people, get help. Many people think catering their own wedding, with the help of friends and family is the simpler option, but it is actually very stressful, so be mindful of that.

Delegate
It’s pretty natural to want to have control over what is one of the biggest days of your life, but that doesn’t mean you can’t delegate, and you should if you want it to be as simple as possible. Hence the booming business that is called wedding organizers. They pretty much call the shots at the wedding so that the bride and groom can enjoy their day. However, their services are pretty expensive.

If your wedding is small and simple enough and you happen to have an amazing bunch of helpful friends, then you probably won't need a wedding organizer. The key is to work out what you want and then delegate specific tasks to friends and family. That way, you do have control over what your wedding will be like, without having total responsibility for making things happen.

In my case, I couldn't afford a wedding organizer. My photographer wanted me to hire one because he didn't want to bother me daw, but walang budget! So I just asked my sister to take care of the day itself. I wished I had asked more people to help out, though. I think my sister got stressed (love you, Jacqui!).

My dear friend Kate Torralba was the designer, stylist and wedding singer! 

Do It Yourself
Now, if you really want a simple affair, with as little interference from strangers as much as possible,  then you can make your wedding a charming, homemade affair. Taking the DIY approach to everything from invitations to flowers is actually pretty simple. Maybe you can create your own invitations and print them out at home versus navigating the millions of choices available at shops. If you have beautiful handwriting, you can address the envelopes yourself (I did!). If your mom has a lush garden, maybe she can create shabby chic bouquets for you and your entourage. Ask your friends what service they can give to you as a gift (just don't be an unreasonable, entitled and demanding bridezilla!). Your wedding can be even more memorable and meaningful if everyone who made it possible is someone who loves you.

Was your wedding a simple affair? What tips can you give couples looking to have a simple wedding of their own?

*This post was originally published in February 14, 2018.

*This post contains affiliate links.

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Sunday, August 24, 2025

Inevitable

Can I make kwento—a weird little story? But don’t get scared. Sa tanda kong ito, marami na akong napagdaanan. Recently, I realized something that makes me curious. It’s weird. But maybe it’s nothing. You decide.

People who have hurt me in the past ended up dying difficult, natural deaths—stroke, lingering illness, slow decline. I had nothing to do with it. Matagal ko na silang napatawad. And yet... how odd, right?

I take no pleasure in their horrible deaths. I never wished it. But I remembered that when I was struggling to forgive them—kasi ang sakit-sakit talaga ng ginawa nila sa akin—this Bible verse always gave me comfort: “Do not look for revenge but leave room for the wrath; for it is written, ‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.’” (Romans 12:19). Leaving it in God’s hands has allowed me to let go of the pain, forgive, and move on. 

And then… I started noticing the pattern.

My Lolo Manong, Lola Auring, Papa and Mama. They're gone now. But they made sure to warn me about gabâ.  

My parents and grandparents are from Leyte and Samar. They call it gabâ. 

“Ang gabâ dili magsaba.” 

Retribution doesn’t announce itself. It just comes. It is inevitable. 

My Lola used to say that even if you forgive, the universe still needs to balance the wrong. Kaya daw dapat maging mabait ako. Because even if I repent, the universe will demand justice. Scary, no?


Anyway! I don’t wish anyone harm. But I find myself watching, wondering, waiting—how the story of four more people who hurt me deeply will eventually unfold. Four more people I'm now looking at with trepidation. Because if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s this: gabâ always comes.

*Ripples photo by Vitaly K. on Unsplash

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Saturday, August 09, 2025

What I’m Doing Now—and What I Still Dream Of

Some of you have asked what I’m up to lately (or maybe you haven’t, but I’m telling you anyway), so here’s a little work update! With photos of me at the office, too.


I’m currently with Personal Collection, a proudly Pinoy direct selling company with a mission to help Filipino families live a #LifeMadeGreat by having their own business. What do I do there? A bit of everything I'm really good at—social media posts, scripts for events and videos, blog posts, posters, brochures, magalogues, flyers, posters. I also manage our ambassador program. It’s easy work. Just LOTS of it. But it's fun! And I get tons of free products every month, too! (I'll do a giveaway soon of our lipsticks!)

Everyone introduces me as "the writer". Officially, I'm the communications manager. It's a broad enough title that if I were to resign, they'll have to hire a copywriter, SEO writer, social media manager, influencer program manager, dealer storytelling strategist, dealer comms and program coordinator, and creative project manager to replace me! 

What makes my job meaningful is that the target market of all the comms we make is our own dealers. So we're not your regular in-house ad agency broadcasting to the end-consumer; we're communicating with our dealers, showing them how to sell their products, and manage and grow their business. Every weekday, I think of how to make our dealers feel proud of what they do. And because I’m all about women empowerment, I find it incredibly fulfilling to see the transformed lives of our million-strong dealers, many of whom are mothers like me. So there is a purpose in what I do.

But... life can't be perfect. 

Many of my dear Loyal Readers (the WAHMs and the housewives) have asked me how going back to work feels like, and for so long I couldn't answer. But I think I'm ready now. 

So here comes the real talk! I spend 10 hours a day at the office. I really try not to go beyond that because I promised my kids I won't, so overtime feels like me betraying my promise. I'm glad to report that OT rarely happens because I really finish my tasks within those 10 hours. 

Ten hours at work plus 1.5 hours commute is a huge shift for someone who was with her husband and sons 24/7 for an entire decade. These days, I barely see them, and that’s hard on the heart. It really, really is. I spent my first 9 months at work crying, grieving my time away from my family, worried sick about them, and finally feeling that working-mom guilt I never felt when I was a mommy blogger and freelance writer and editor. 

I keep reminding myself that I’m paid well enough, the work has purpose, and my kids are thriving in school and with friends. But, wow, I can't stop missing my family. I'm almost 3 years in the corporate world and I’m still not used to being away from Vince and the boys. 

Let's not forget that I also have a writing and editing business, a business that I've only slowly resurrected this year with a few blogging and writing projects. So I'm happy about that! 

I'm also still dreaming of more books to write. The utter joy I got from my Not Invisible book was so addictive, I want to feel that again and again. These dreams of new books are in the process of becoming real because I’ve got half a dozen book manuscripts just waiting to be finished, but no time (yet!) to work on them. Still, I managed to write a couple of children’s books recently so... hooray! I hope to publish them one day, with my devotionals and novels, too. 

One day, one day.

Honestly, mamas, if you're thinking of going back to work after the incredible privilege of being with your babies, well... It's not easy. I don't want to discourage you because there's so much satisfaction in doing what you're good at and earning recognition and money for it. 

But it's hard to juggle that with wanting to relish any little time we can find with our family. Work can always be done and money can always be made, but time with our children? The time is so very short. Terrifyingly short. Sooner than I know, they're off to college, off to new adventures, off to a life without their Mama.

Can you believe it? Didn't I just give birth to them yesterday? 

I feel like I'm running out of time.

It's so strange how both grief and joy, and longing and contentment can hold space inside me all in the same breath. Yes, I’m doing well. I’m grateful for this job and would like to keep it. I thank God every day that I get to enjoy this amazing blessing. But I ask Him just as often if this is what He wants for me because I miss my boys so much. 

Do I want to earn a regular income? Yes.

Do I want to spend more time with my teens and tween? Yes.

Do I wish I had more time to write my books? Yes. 

Do I enjoy making content to help our dealers become more successful women? Yes.

Do I look at my messy house and think, "This home needs a mother's loving touch again"? Yes.

Do I try not to think about how we haven't had any activities for Lean In Manila this year? Er, yes.

Do I also recognize how good I’ve got it right now? Absolutely.

Oh, it's complex, this tug of war in my heart. I know life can’t be perfect... but mine is pretty close. So I'll remain grateful. 

And open. 

And waiting.


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Monday, August 04, 2025

5 Lessons from Meghan Sussex on Navigating Life with Grace and Purpose


I'm so inspired by Meghan, Duchess of Sussex. 

I'm absolutely sure I have none of her resilience and grace, the strength that not only makes her survive the constant hate but even thrive despite it. When she started 2025 with a carefree run on the beach, we didn't realize that she meant to go full blast this year... but not full blast retaliation on all the horrible creatures who hate her, but a full blast on creativity. The world wanted to destroy her, so she responded with creation. 

And, whether we appreciate it or not, we're getting Meghan's projects one after the other. Just for the first half of this year, we have a TV show, a lifestyle brand, a podcast, and a shopping site! The Duchess of Success!

But more than that, because it's her birthday, I want to talk about the life lessons I learned from Meghan. And she truly has been offering a masterclass in focus and authenticity. I like her approach to life because it's filled with powerful lessons we can all learn from.
  
1. Stay true to who you are.

Before becoming a royal wife, Meghan was busy not just with her work as an actress, but also with helping charities and empowering women, while also building a lifestyle blog. She chose to marry a man whose goal was to help people, too. When she was a working royal, she immediately got busy with the same, marrying her love for fashion, cooking, and women, with the charities she worked with. 

Now, her circumstances have changed, but she's still the same! Everything she's doing now still reflects her personal values of authenticity, intentional living, and service. Whether it’s through mindful products or purposeful storytelling, Meghan showed me that we should align our work with our values. That's how we don't get lost when life's storms and temptations come crashing your way. 

Stay true to what matters to you, whether you have an audience or not. Stay true to yourself. Don't be shaped by what the world says you should be.

When nothing seems to be going right, focus on the things that do! Family, friends, food, fun!

2. Focus on the work.

I think everyone has experienced being mocked, insulted, and discouraged. Maybe not on a global scale, sure, but I can relate somewhat - just a tiny, tiny bit - to Meghan. I didn't get support growing up because people dismissed my dreams a lot. When you're raised in a fundamentalist Christian environment and a traditional Filipino household, you're taught that women aren't supposed to have dreams, unless it's a dream of wife and mom. Which is great! I'm a wife and mom. And more! Like Meghan, I refused to be discouraged and got busy building. 

That said, I did start this blog almost 20 years ago because I wanted to be understood. I don't regret it because my life changed exponentially because of this blog. Watching Meghan, however, makes me think I wish I had had her grace. She refuses to engage in the hateful conversations. She doesn't waste time defending herself or making herself understood. Instead, she pours her energy into meaningful projects. She proves that healing comes from creating, not from explaining yourself even through constant criticism (even of her pasta!). 

Here's my version of her Single Skillet Pasta. Instead of lemon, I used calamansi to add brightness and freshness to what would've been a plain dish.

 3. Take your time.

Yes, she focused on work, but it took her 5 years to stage her comeback. She took her time. People find this hard to believe. They always accuse her of doing interviews regularly, but before this year, she only did a few, like Oprah, Ellen, and The New York Times. She had a few projects (her children's book, a documentary, a podcast), but mostly, she stayed hidden away at home, making and raising babies. Making friends with her neighbors. Investing in women-owned businesses. And apparently, she was also quietly preparing for her comeback.

This is a powerful lesson in protecting your peace—less reacting, more building. A lesson also on moving quietly with people you trust. A lesson on patience and waiting for the right time to launch. She wasn't worried about staying relevant. She just trusted herself and her timing. 

In my case, I'll always be grateful my husband and I had the immense privilege of working from home the first 10 years we were parents. People were worried about us quitting employment. But Vince was writing his novel while I was blogging. Unconventional, maybe, but true to who we are (writers)... and who we've become (parents!). We didn't feel like life passed us by at all. We were living it and oh so thoroughly!

Your life, your pace.  

4. Pursue joy!

I really liked her Netflix series, With Love, Meghan. As you can see, I've shared a few photos of stuff I learned from her show. I love how she shares how she makes ordinary things special. Some, I admit I won't ever do. I can't ever be persuaded to make my own candles when I can buy from my friend who does make such wonderful ones (buy from Meadow!). But I agree that life is bad and boring enough already. Let's add some joy! Why wallow in the bland, the ugly, and the miserable, right? 

So I bought flowers. I took out my jewelry. I'm intentional with my self-care. I'm seeing family and friends. I'm eating more fruits and veggies (okay, I'm still learning to find joy in this). I want to live in beauty and glow with joy! I mean, just look at Meghan - moisturized, fit, fab.

If you want edible flower sprinkles, you can get from Landers.

5. Turn pain into a paycheck.

As Alessia Cara sang in her song, "Okay Okay," we have the option to turn pain into a paycheck. Meghan may have gone through horrific treatment for almost a decade (and she's still getting bullied by the most evil old and ugly people in the world), but she keeps creating. Whether it's a family and a home or business deals, she’s proof that forward momentum is the best response to negativity. I especially like how she now has a shopping site. Not only do we now know exactly what she uses, she also took away from those evil tabloids their income from affiliate links. If there's anyone who should earn from her lifestyle choices, it should be her. 
 

Meghan Sussex shows us that success doesn’t have to be loud and quick. It doesn't have to be constant visibility. You can be at home, picking berries and making crudites (my literal word of the year haha), and still dream and make money. Just stick to who you are and what you love, and you'll be more than okay. Okay?

Happy birthday, Meghan!

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Saturday, July 26, 2025

Guess What, Moms? Watsons is Now Open 24/7 in Select Branches!

Let’s be real—life as a mom doesn’t follow store hours.

Whether it’s a feverish child at 2 am, a sudden breakout before a big meeting, or just a much-needed self-care moment after everyone’s finally asleep, emergencies and “me time” don’t clock out. That’s why I'm happy to report that Watsons now has 24/7 branches!

Yes, you read that right—some Watsons stores are now open all day, all night, making it easier for busy moms like us to grab health, wellness, and beauty essentials whenever we need them. I personally live near a Watsons and find myself dropping by almost weekly (sometimes more). I buy skincare for me and the boys, pick up my asthma, pills, and cholesterol meds, and sometimes I buy a treat for the kids.

And now? Even if something comes up late at night (like last week when my son had a raging skin infection!), I know I have options.


More Ways to Shop, More Hours to Breathe

Watsons has always been a go-to for moms, and they’re stepping up even more with longer store hours, Click & Collect through the Watsons App, and home delivery—a lifesaver on those “no one is getting out of the house” kind of days.

This year alone, they opened 29 new branches, including several 24/7 locations in Manila and Cebu. These stores are fully stocked with everything from prescription meds and vitamins to skincare favorites, baby essentials, and even that mascara you forgot to replace.

Watsons’s goal? To support us in our health, wellness, and beauty journeys—no matter what time it is.
 
Here Are Some 24/7 Branches Near Metro Manila Moms:
  • The Medical City, Pasig
  • Taft, Ermita
  • Tayuman, Manila
  • Zabarte Road, North Caloocan
  • Guadalupe, Makati
  • BGC High Street South & Forbeswood Parklane
  • Bayani Road, Taguig
  • E. Rodriguez, QC
  • Marikina Shoe Ave
(And more in Luzon, Cebu, and Davao—full list linked below!)


Because Moms Don’t Sleep—And Apparently, Neither Does Watsons

So the next time you run out of paracetamol, need a last-minute gift, or just want a new face mask to unwind with, remember: Watsons is there for you, 24/7.

This one I haven't tried so let me know your experience but you can also shop from home via the Watsons App, enjoy exclusive promos, and choose to have your orders delivered or ready for pick-up—easy peasy for us multitasking mamas, especially in this crazy weather.

Check the full list of 24/7 Watsons branches here:
https://www.watsons.com.ph/watsons-24-7-stores

Because looking good and feeling good shouldn’t have to wait ‘til morning! 


*Photos courtesy of Browne Communications
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