I saw something that made me sad the other day. A birthday greeting for Robin Williams from his son, Zak, on what would've been Robin's 74th birthday had he not taken his life 9 years ago.
Even now, people are still sad. I'm so sad, too. He was my favorite actor and such a funny guy. So many stories of his goodness and kindness made me love him even more. And yet I always wondered why he had such sad eyes. Turned out he was suffering depression. Was it because he never recovered from a lonely childhood, no matter how privileged? Was it because despite his massive success, he was afraid he'd fail? No one knows. That's the thing with depression. No one knows what causes it.
Depression is very scary. I had a mild taste of it when each of my children was born. Yes, I experienced post-partum blues after every baby. The first time it happened was terrifying. There I was—happy marriage, great career, good health, new mother to a perfect baby boy—and I wept every single day for six long weeks.
No one understood how someone so blessed could be in such a dark place. People I told were confused, exasperated, annoyed, dismissive. What I hated hearing most was, "You should be grateful and happy. How can you think only of yourself?"
I knew that already. I wasn't stupid. I knew my life was amazing. That's why the overwhelming sadness I felt made me afraid for my sanity. It just didn't make sense! Why was I so unhappy?! It was one of the most terrible times of my life, made sadder by the fact that it should've been the happiest.
I'm grateful my husband stood by me throughout that time. He never called me out, never told me to get over it. That first time, he just took time off work (all 6 weeks I was depressed and in a country that granted only 7 days paternity leave) to be with me. He helped take care of our baby, and when I finally climbed out of my depression, he was there to welcome me back into the world.
If you're feeling out of sorts and you know it's different and worry it may be serious, here's a short article that may help:
Understanding Depression: The Silent Epidemic
Depression affects millions of people around the world. It’s a deep, often overwhelming feeling of sadness that doesn’t go away. Despite how common it is, depression remains misunderstood and stigmatized. Many hide their struggles, thinking they’re alone in this dark world. Let's explore the mysterious nature of depression, its serious impact, and ways we can better understand and combat it.
Depression isn’t just feeling sad for a day. It’s a mental health disorder that can change your entire life. The most common type is major depressive disorder, which causes ongoing feelings of hopelessness and loss of interest in things once enjoyed. Other forms include dysthymia, a chronic but less severe depression, and bipolar depression, which features extreme mood swings.
Many confuse normal sadness with depression, but clinical depression lasts for weeks or months. It can make even simple tasks feel impossible, like climbing out of bed or eating properly.
Prevalence and Impact
Depression is one of the most common mental health problems worldwide. According to the World Health Organization, over 264 million people struggle with it. It affects people of all ages, backgrounds, and cultures.
Living with depression hurts more than just mental health. It impacts daily routines, makes work and relationships difficult, and can even lead to physical health problems. The toll is heavy, not only on individuals but also on families and communities.
Why Is It Considered a Mystery?
Despite so many suffering, doctors still find depression hard to fully understand. Symptoms can vary wildly from one person to another. Some people have trouble sleeping, while others sleep too much. Some feel exhausted, while others can’t stop racing thoughts.
This variability makes diagnosis complex. Plus, biological, psychological, and social factors all mix together to create depression’s tricky puzzle. We know it’s not simply a chemical imbalance, but scientists are still searching for solid answers.
The Darkness Within: Symptoms and Diagnosis Challenges
Recognizing the Signs
Depression often shows up as persistent sadness, loss of pleasure, or feelings of worthlessness. Physical signs include changes in sleep – sleeping too much or too little – and appetite problems. Some people might withdraw from friends or lose interest in hobbies.
But many hide their symptoms. Why? Stigma keeps people silent. They fear judgment, especially if they appear successful or “high-functioning.” This means depression can stay hidden behind a brave face.
The Hidden Nature of Depression
Many who seem to have everything together still suffer quietly. From top executives to stay-at-home parents, anyone can hide signs of depression. This masks the true scope of the problem.
Diagnostic Difficulties
Mental health professionals rely on conversations and assessments to diagnose depression. It’s not always straightforward. Symptoms overlap with other mental or physical conditions. An accurate diagnosis often takes time and patience.
The Roots of Depression: What Causes the Darkness?
Biological Factors
Sometimes depression runs in families. Scientists believe genetics play a big role. Imbalances in brain chemicals, like serotonin and dopamine, also contribute. Changes in brain structure—like smaller hippocampi—are linked to depression too. While these facts help explain some cases, they don’t tell the whole story.
Psychological Factors
Trauma, especially in childhood, can set the stage for depression later. Chronic stress or personal setbacks build up over time. People with certain personality traits—like high sensitivity or low self-esteem—are more prone to depression. Cognitive patterns, like negative thinking, also shape how someone reacts to life's challenges.
Social and Environmental Influences
Your surroundings matter. Living in poverty, feeling isolated, or facing cultural stigma can increase depression risk. For example, someone who loses their job and feels disconnected may slip deeper into depression. Real stories show how environment plays a huge role in triggering or worsening depression.
The Scary Unknowns
Despite advances, science still doesn’t fully understand what causes depression. New theories emerge all the time, suggesting complex interactions between genes, environment, and brain chemistry. The unknowns can make the fight feel endless, fostering fear and helplessness.
Depression isn’t just feeling sad for a day. It’s a mental health disorder that can change your entire life. The most common type is major depressive disorder, which causes ongoing feelings of hopelessness and loss of interest in things once enjoyed. Other forms include dysthymia, a chronic but less severe depression, and bipolar depression, which features extreme mood swings.
Many confuse normal sadness with depression, but clinical depression lasts for weeks or months. It can make even simple tasks feel impossible, like climbing out of bed or eating properly.
Prevalence and Impact
Depression is one of the most common mental health problems worldwide. According to the World Health Organization, over 264 million people struggle with it. It affects people of all ages, backgrounds, and cultures.
Living with depression hurts more than just mental health. It impacts daily routines, makes work and relationships difficult, and can even lead to physical health problems. The toll is heavy, not only on individuals but also on families and communities.
Why Is It Considered a Mystery?
Despite so many suffering, doctors still find depression hard to fully understand. Symptoms can vary wildly from one person to another. Some people have trouble sleeping, while others sleep too much. Some feel exhausted, while others can’t stop racing thoughts.
This variability makes diagnosis complex. Plus, biological, psychological, and social factors all mix together to create depression’s tricky puzzle. We know it’s not simply a chemical imbalance, but scientists are still searching for solid answers.
The Darkness Within: Symptoms and Diagnosis Challenges
Recognizing the Signs
Depression often shows up as persistent sadness, loss of pleasure, or feelings of worthlessness. Physical signs include changes in sleep – sleeping too much or too little – and appetite problems. Some people might withdraw from friends or lose interest in hobbies.
But many hide their symptoms. Why? Stigma keeps people silent. They fear judgment, especially if they appear successful or “high-functioning.” This means depression can stay hidden behind a brave face.
The Hidden Nature of Depression
Many who seem to have everything together still suffer quietly. From top executives to stay-at-home parents, anyone can hide signs of depression. This masks the true scope of the problem.
Diagnostic Difficulties
Mental health professionals rely on conversations and assessments to diagnose depression. It’s not always straightforward. Symptoms overlap with other mental or physical conditions. An accurate diagnosis often takes time and patience.
The Roots of Depression: What Causes the Darkness?
Biological Factors
Sometimes depression runs in families. Scientists believe genetics play a big role. Imbalances in brain chemicals, like serotonin and dopamine, also contribute. Changes in brain structure—like smaller hippocampi—are linked to depression too. While these facts help explain some cases, they don’t tell the whole story.
Psychological Factors
Trauma, especially in childhood, can set the stage for depression later. Chronic stress or personal setbacks build up over time. People with certain personality traits—like high sensitivity or low self-esteem—are more prone to depression. Cognitive patterns, like negative thinking, also shape how someone reacts to life's challenges.
Social and Environmental Influences
Your surroundings matter. Living in poverty, feeling isolated, or facing cultural stigma can increase depression risk. For example, someone who loses their job and feels disconnected may slip deeper into depression. Real stories show how environment plays a huge role in triggering or worsening depression.
The Scary Unknowns
Despite advances, science still doesn’t fully understand what causes depression. New theories emerge all the time, suggesting complex interactions between genes, environment, and brain chemistry. The unknowns can make the fight feel endless, fostering fear and helplessness.
When I talked about my experience with my OBG, she said that what I felt was just the baby blues, a mild form of postpartum depression. Mild? It was awful! Apparently, when you have PPD, you think about harming yourself or the baby. Since I wasn't in total despair, she said, I was apparently okay. Even though I certainly did not feel okay.
And then depression came back for me a couple of years ago, and that was so bad, so very bad. I'm so glad I'm better now, but I am in tenterhooks, wary of it coming back again. Today feels like a ceasefire. For many people with depression, it is a constant battle. Sometimes, like Mr. Williams, they lose.
If someone you know is depressed, please don't dismiss them. Depressed people need help, but are scared to ask because nothing is scarier than being called crazy. If you are depressed, you're not crazy. Just please tell someone and continue asking for help till someone acknowledges you. It's this world that's crazy, but some people do care, and some people are brave enough to help. Please be brave enough to ask for help.
If you are in emotional crisis, need counselors to talk to about suicide and mental health, or are having suicidal thoughts, call the 24/7 CRISIS LINE anytime for non-sectarian, non-judgmental telephone counseling:
toll-free landline (1553)
0917-899-8727 for Globe/TM
0919-057-1553 for Smart/TNT
toll-free landline (1553)
0917-899-8727 for Globe/TM
0919-057-1553 for Smart/TNT
If you have just lost someone to suicide and need help with coping, visit www.afsp.org/survivingsuicideloss.
For mental awareness, visit:
For mental awareness, visit:
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*Photo from Zak Willliams' Instagram.
**Updated phone numbers and resources. First published on August 13, 2014.
I hear you, Frances. I experienced the same thing when I gave birth. I had everything but I feel sad every single day. Depression is real. You don't accept it unless you yourself experience it e.
ReplyDeletewhat happened to Robin Williams was truly devastating and surprising, to be honest. I've always loved him since most of his movies are heartwarming and very funny. I had a close friend who experienced PPD. She shared to me that there was a point that she actually wanted to throw her baby off the stairs. Was just glad that she sought help from a professional right away when I she noticed there was something wrong with her.
ReplyDeleteRandom Beauty by Hollie
Thank you for sharing this, Frances!
ReplyDeleteI was diagnosed with depression a couple of years back, but I was told that I've had it since I was little, only it was manifesting in other symptoms that were shrugged off as "sumpong".
One of the worst things I was told was by a person whom I once considered a friend: "There are bigger things in the world than your problems." I was also told to snap out of it and that I'll be okay and "Wala yan!". Useless, useless words. Harmful, even.
I've been in that dark, dark place where I honestly wanted to end it all. Talking to friends, family, and doctors, I would always hear, "Isipin mo nalang..." But what I try to explain to them is that when you're in that place, it isn't logical. You don't think about anything else but wanting to die and how to do it. You don't feel anything else but immense pain and sadness. And that oftentimes, you don't even know where the sadness is coming from.