Showing posts with label Birthdays & Celebrations. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Birthdays & Celebrations. Show all posts

Thursday, September 11, 2025

Here's how to have a simple wedding

There’s nothing wrong with having a big church wedding with 300 guests, a gorgeous designer gown, and a wedding reception that costs the same as the deposit on a family home if that’s what you want. I have been to many outrageous, elegant, outlandish, or crazy weddings that obviously cost a pretty penny (lotsa them!) and they are all as meaningful as a civil wedding at city hall (yes, been to a city hall wedding, too!).

Our wedding looked fancy but it really was a simple affair.

Now if you're one of those who prefer a simpler, more minimalistic wedding that is just as beautiful, but which won’t cost nearly as much, then here are some ideas to help you create the simple wedding of your dreams:

Trim the Guest List
The first step to having a simpler wedding is trimming down the guest list. You do not have to invite everyone you know to your wedding. Only inviting the people you truly care about is what matters in a truly important event such as your wedding.

But in our dear country where everyone knows everybody, how does one get away with that??? You don't. You'll have angry neighbors, resentful relatives that you don't even know, and enemies even who can't comprehend why they weren't there to scowl at your happiness. How do you trim the guest list then? Here's what I accidentally did: Vince and I scheduled our wedding on a weekday because April 18 was the anniversary of our first kiss. Vince didn't want to remember another date, so April 18 it was even if it was a Thursday. I invited 250 people but only 140 RSVP'd they'll come. Why? "Because we have work." Guys, you work every day; I get married once in a lifetime. If you can't take the day off, half the day off even to attend my wedding then #alamnathis. 

Another tip my friends shared is to do a destination wedding. Invite everyone in the world! But pay only for the trip of a select few. Inviting everyone means you care for them but only the ones who care for you will spare the time and expense to be there. 

Semi-joking aside, I really wish Filipinos didn't get so sensitive about invitations. Weddings are so personal. So only the people who you really want to be part of your happiness should be there as this is the best way to ensure that you have a truly meaningful wedding day.

Buy the Rings Online
It’s not a wedding without the rings, but if shopping for jewelry isn’t your thing and you don’t want to be pressured by an insistent salesperson into going over your budget when she shows you lots of shiny things and flattering you, you can shop in peace at a great wedding ring website (check out https://www.whiteflash.com/wedding-rings/tacori/). As my Loyal Readers know, I am a huge fan of online shopping. It helps me consider lots of choices within my budget without having to talk to a stranger. If there had been local jewelry brands that had online shops back in my day, I'd definitely have shopped online!

Tip: Many jewelers also offer jewelry financing options, so you can comfortably pay for your dream rings in installments without stretching your wedding budget.

Vince's cute nephews (they're teenagers now)! We got our rings from a bridal fair—also a great place to find good deals. 

Buy Everything Online!
Since we're shopping for rings already, check out the rest of your wedding needs online. No need to spend for parking and gas and eating out. You have the entire world at your fingertips! You can buy your flowers, shoes, suits, gowns (check out styleaisle for fab gowns!), cake, and souvenirs from the comfort of your own home. The best part is you can save because you can compare prices and avail of discounts. Try it!


Limit the Dinner Choices
Okay, as a Pinoy, I firmly believe that you can make tipid on everything but never the food! Long after the day is done, you'll only have photos to remember the day, right? But your guests will remember the food. They won't remember your designer gown, your crystal goblets, your diamond-encrusted tiara, or the song of your first dance (although I do remember this one wedding where the newlyweds danced to "Maybe It's You." Maybe??? Everyone was giggling.). What they'll all remember for years to come is what you served them and if it was bad or good. 

I read somewhere that half your wedding budget should go to food. That sounds crazy but it's true. The longer your guest list, the bigger the food bill. It’s easy to spend a lot on food if you decide to offer a wide range of dishes and desserts, so what you do is limit the food choices. You don't need hundreds of different appetizers or a dozen cakes, right? Just a salad and few pika-pika, a meat course (with a choice of fish, meat or chicken maybe), some carbs like rice and pasta, and a couple of desserts, that's okay! As long as you ensure that there is at least one option for people with special dietary requirements such as vegans or allergy sufferers, then having a couple of simple options that are nice, but not too fancy is all you need.

We had a lovely sit-down dinner that our guests still talk about a decade after. Our cake was homemade by a friend.

While we’re on the subject of food, it’s much simpler to pay a little more and have the whole deal catered by a prefessional (try https://www.bitecatering.net/). Some things you can do yourself but when it comes to feeding a big group of people, get help. Many people think catering their own wedding, with the help of friends and family is the simpler option, but it is actually very stressful, so be mindful of that.

Delegate
It’s pretty natural to want to have control over what is one of the biggest days of your life, but that doesn’t mean you can’t delegate, and you should if you want it to be as simple as possible. Hence the booming business that is called wedding organizers. They pretty much call the shots at the wedding so that the bride and groom can enjoy their day. However, their services are pretty expensive.

If your wedding is small and simple enough and you happen to have an amazing bunch of helpful friends, then you probably won't need a wedding organizer. The key is to work out what you want and then delegate specific tasks to friends and family. That way, you do have control over what your wedding will be like, without having total responsibility for making things happen.

In my case, I couldn't afford a wedding organizer. My photographer wanted me to hire one because he didn't want to bother me daw, but walang budget! So I just asked my sister to take care of the day itself. I wished I had asked more people to help out, though. I think my sister got stressed (love you, Jacqui!).

My dear friend Kate Torralba was the designer, stylist and wedding singer! 

Do It Yourself
Now, if you really want a simple affair, with as little interference from strangers as much as possible,  then you can make your wedding a charming, homemade affair. Taking the DIY approach to everything from invitations to flowers is actually pretty simple. Maybe you can create your own invitations and print them out at home versus navigating the millions of choices available at shops. If you have beautiful handwriting, you can address the envelopes yourself (I did!). If your mom has a lush garden, maybe she can create shabby chic bouquets for you and your entourage. Ask your friends what service they can give to you as a gift (just don't be an unreasonable, entitled and demanding bridezilla!). Your wedding can be even more memorable and meaningful if everyone who made it possible is someone who loves you.

Was your wedding a simple affair? What tips can you give couples looking to have a simple wedding of their own?

*This post was originally published in February 14, 2018.

*This post contains affiliate links.

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Saturday, March 08, 2025

My word for 2025: Now!

Since my last blog post here was about birthdays, let me share my 48th! I always used to share my birthdays with my dear Loyal Readers but I stopped for a while... and so now that I'm feeling better, let's do that again! 


This wonderful day was months ago pa. November feels so long ago. My hair is still short here. And I didn't even brush it. Hindi man lang ako nag-reapply ng lipstick after dinner kaya ayan, outline lang haha. I came from a long day at work and was just too tired to care what I look like. I just wanted to spend my precious few hours with my family and celebrate my birthday with them. 

Grabe, lahat ng days at work ko long and exhausting, and my aging, perimenopausal body is trying its darndest to adapt. I'm actually healthier now than I was 2 years ago. So I can't complain. Life is getting better if only for the fact that I'm healthier. Alam naman natin na ang mahalaga talaga is good health kasi the state of the body really affects everything - your mind, your sleep, your attitude, your energy, your ability to do things, your relationships. So things are better because my health is better.

Still, my husband is concerned. I should lose a bit more weight (5 more lbs!), get my cholesterol levels down to <200, get my heart healthy and strong. I'm trying! I've done well actually. Please congratulate me! I've already lost 15 lbs (aaand 5 more to go but it's so hard to lose!), my cholesterol is down to 220 from 300+. My doctor literally pushed the panic button and bundled me off to the lab. And she said just slow exercises lang muna because she wanted us to be gentle on my heart. So I do a lot of walking, uphill and downhill, about 40 minutes 4x a week. I also did gentle strength-training for a while (lunges, squats, etc), but quit it when my weight went down. Oops.

Anyway, back to my birthday! The kids were with us on my birthday, as always. Vince sent me the photos to show off our handsome boys, but I decided not to include them because our sons are so very private. So kami na lang ni Vince! 


Tanda na namin, no? Do you, my dear Loyal Readers, understand that you've been part of my life since I was 30? And now I'm 48! Crazy! But thank you. May God bless you all with 48 good things this 2025! 

I'm very happy, despite not having a perfect life. I've always been so sure of what I want in life, diba? And for decades, I did live it. But now my life isn't perfect because I feel like kulang ang oras ko. My big birthday wish is I wish I have more time for my family and my house. My kids are growing up so fast and they look a little neglected - mahaba ang buhok, kusot ang damit. Okay, to be honest, kahit nung work-at-home mom ako, ganyan na talaga sila hahaha. But joking aside, they're doing well in school so that's why I'm grateful for my job, despite the long and exhausting days. My house also needs some loving. I was never a good housekeeper to start, so now that I spend 12 hours away every day, my house has descended into chaos. Haha I exaggerate! Vince has everything under control. How he cooks, cleans, and drives the kids to and from school, on top of work (he writes for The Business Manual) is beyond me. I'm so lucky! But, as a former work-from-home mommy, I know that's really hard to do, too. So Vince is tired all the time. I'm tired, too. But we try so hard to still be there for each other. But yun nga. Kulang pa rin ang oras.

You know what sucks? Every night, I choose: Spend the remaining 3 hours of my day with my family or spend that precious time on the house, my writing, myself? It's not ideal. But my sons want to go to their school so I'm glad my job is generous with compensation. 

Don't worry! Like I said, I'm happy. But it took me 2 years of adjusting to my new life to get here. It helps that I'm healthier now. It helps that my sons are enjoying school. It helps that my office is easily accessible by train so I don't get stuck in traffic. It helps that I like what I do. It helps that my husband isn't the trad husband who would refuse to do household chores and take care of his kids because "that's woman's work." I'm not blind to the good things. I just wish I had more time.   


So I spent the last few months thinking, "Okay, stop whining. It is what it is! So how do I make this life work?" That's something we got from Tim Gunn of Project Runway. He always said, "Make it work!" And that's really what our attitude should be. Make it work.

So instead of thinking, "Sige, pag naka-graduate na mga bata, I can retire and write again," I thought, "What can I do now?" And I realized I just need to find little pockets of time. I read on the MRT. I make sure to chat with Vince throughout the day. I nap at lunchtime. I write when I can just before bed, after I spend time with the boys. I clean, kahit 15-30 minutes lang. 

And kahit konti, umuusad naman! I've written 2 children's books! I've started writing 2 journals for women! I've shaped my werewolf romance novels! I'm planning, plotting, and dreaming of new things to do and achieve! And that's crazy considering I'm so busy and tired, diba? Pero kaya naman pala, basta I'm kind to myself and because I have support from my husband. 

Oh, and I told my sons that Papa and I need their help to make our dreams come true. We can't write if we're cleaning up after them all the time. They're old enough to do chores! Sabi ko nga sa kanila, "At your age, I was already cooking, cleaning, doing the laundry, and taking care of babies (my sister lang pala)." And ayan, tumutulong na sila sa bahay. Kailangan pa rin utusan at pagsabihan but they're getting there. It's teamwork that makes the dream work!

And that work needs to start now. That's why that's my word for 2025. NOW! Dream now. Do now. Ask for help now. Work at it now. Exercise now. Eat healthy now. Kahit konti lang magawa ko, basta meron. I shouldn't wait for a better time, for a better schedule, for a better body, for better people to work with, for better circumstances, for better anything, for when I'm ready. Even when things aren't ideal, I have to believe I'm ready now! Just do things now... and then we'll see where this will take me!

So exciting, right??? That's my vibe this year. Make it work. Do it now. It will all work out!

I'll update you when those books are out! And when I finally lose those blasted 5 lbs! Have a great year!       


"It's a terrible thing, I think, in life to wait until you're ready. I have this feeling now that actually, no one is ever ready to do anything. There is almost no such thing as ready. There is only now. And you may as well do it now. Generally speaking, now is as good a time as any." - Hugh Laurie
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Sunday, February 16, 2025

Birthdays

This weekend was my husband's birthday. We didn't take pictures of Vince! But my mind is on birthdays so I'll share photos of the kids' birthdays instead. I never posted these before. These were from years ago. I've stopped sharing their birthday pics for their privacy. But since they're bigger now, their faces have changed, and the kids told me they loved looking at their old birthday photos, so let's share a few here!
 

Here's my eldest boy's 11th birthday. He's turning 15 now and he doesn't look like that anymore. He's tall, broad-shouldered, serious, angular. He's in high school. He's an excellent student, and he even went to The Hague, Netherlands last year for the International STEM Olympiad, where he won medals in math and science. We're very proud of him! 


This is my second boy's 11th birthday, too. I was already working in an office so I didn't get to spend the day with him. That's okay, I guess (no, it's not), because my husband works from home so he got to make our darling boy's day special with homecooked spaghetti.


I joined them later for cake. And all was well. We're so proud of our middle child. He's turning 13 this year and in 7th grade. He's tall, with a shock of black hair, and growing broad, too. He plays the piano (self-taught!) so well and so emotionally. He's playing the piano now as I type. He's a deep thinker, very much in tune with his emotions, very expressive, and his vocabulary is even bigger and wider now. Well, he's always been like that (remember this love post when he was only 3?) so I shouldn't be surprised. But I still am. 

And here's the youngest boy! We can't remember if this was his 7th or 8th birthday. He's 10 now, in 5th grade, and such a serious boy. He has all his front teeth and he's very cute, but he rarely smiles. Like I said, very serious. He likes plopping down beside me at bedtime and having long, deep conversations about God, the world, life, science, and family. His pediatrician called him an old soul when he was 4. And, yes, it's like talking to a wise, old man. He's a lot like his father. 

His father! I wish we had taken pictures of Vince's birthday! But I was holding the cake, our eldest was at the piano playing the birthday song, and the other two boys were singing loudly. We forgot to get the camera! I would like you to know that it was a sweet weekend. It started with steak and mashed potatoes. Vince cooked the steak, I the potatoes. That was our Valentine's dinner and it was sooo delicious. Then we watched The Fellowship of the Ring. It was our nth watch but we had lots of new takeaways. 

Mine was how the male relationships were so healthy! All the men were openly affectionate with each other. They cried, they hugged, they kissed, they apologized, they talked. I told our boys that this is a great example because there's a male loneliness epidemic sweeping our society these days. That's because boys and men are discouraged from showing emotions, being honest with how they feel, to not be affectionate with their male friends (because it's "gay"). These patriarchal notions of manhood are all outdated and damaging! I'm glad we watched Fellowship again because that's a really great example of a, well, a fellowship!

Then on Vince's birthday, we had cake and ice cream! And I cooked beef with broccoli, which was a hit. And Vince and I just spent the day talking and talking and talking. Then we watched The Two Towers, which was a good movie, too, but it's not our favorite Lord of the Rings part. But we still enjoyed the movie. It was a great day!   

Sunday, today, we had a Mexican lunch. Burritos, quesadillas, and tacos. It was delicious. We were supposed to watch The Return of the King, the last part of the trilogy, tonight, but we were all tired and sleepy. I forgot to mention that we were all sick or coming down with the cold. I'm recovering (mine started last Wednesday) while Vince and our boys are in various stages of this nasty cold. And that's why we stayed home all weekend! But it's our favorite thing to do in our favorite place in the world with our favorite people ever so it was a great weekend!

I hope you had a good one, too! 

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Wednesday, December 27, 2023

8 Wedding Planning Tips During the Holiday Season


Hi, everyone! Let's talk about... wedding planning tips during the holiday season!

The allure of a holiday season wedding captivates many couples and might even compel them to plan their weddings during the most wonderful time of the year. Imagine saying "I do" surrounded by the twinkling lights of December or during the fresh start of a New Year. Indeed, the yuletide season offers a magical backdrop for a wedding.

However, tying the knot between December and January in the Philippines comes with its own set of challenges. From competing with holiday events for venue bookings to navigating the whims of the chilly weather, planning a wedding during this time can seem daunting.

But don’t fret! If you and your partner have decided to wed amidst the bustle of the holidays, you can achieve the perfect wedding through thoughtful preparation and embracing the season's unique opportunities. With the tips below, you can orchestrate a celebration of your love that resonates with the warmth and splendor of the season.

1. Book Your Venue Early

The holiday season is synonymous with parties and other large gatherings, making it a peak time for venue bookings. So, for your wedding, start your search early and make your reservations as soon as you can to ensure you get your dream location. Popular wedding venues in Cebu and other large cities should be booked a year or more ahead, especially during prime dates like the holidays. To further avoid the holiday rush, consider booking midweek days as they offer more availability and lower costs.

Booking early also allows you to send out save-the-dates sooner, which is crucial for a holiday wedding when guests might already have other plans.

2. Plan for the Cold Weather

In the Philippines, the holidays are often marked by cooler weather, intense rainstorms, and sometimes even typhoons. While the country doesn't experience the freezing temperatures of a typical winter, the weather can still pose unique challenges for December, January, and early February weddings. If you’re considering an outdoor ceremony, it’s crucial to have contingency plans. Consider venues that offer both indoor and outdoor spaces so you can quickly move your celebration inside if a sudden downpour occurs. Providing umbrellas or raincoats can be a thoughtful touch for guests moving between different parts of the venue.

3. Budget Wisely

Budgeting for a wedding during the holiday season requires extra attention as prices for venues, catering, and other services can be higher. It’s better to be transparent with your vendors about your budget and look for creative ways to maximize it. For instance, your venue might already be decorated for the holidays, offering a festive atmosphere without the additional cost. Also, consider the timing of your purchases. Buying decorations or attire off-season can lead to significant savings.

4. Confirm Vendor Availability

With the Christmas season being a busy time for everyone, it's essential to confirm the availability of your vendors long before your event. These include caterers, photographers, florists, and entertainment. Be clear about your expectations and their ability to deliver on time, especially around peak dates. It's also wise to have a list of backup vendors in case of last-minute cancellations or changes.

5. Ensure Your Guests Are Informed and Comfortable

It's essential to inform guests about the wedding details well in advance because, as mentioned, many of them may have pre-existing holiday plans. Consider creating a wedding website or sending information cards with your invitations months before the wedding so they can prioritize your event. Make sure to include details about accommodation options, transportation, and any planned activities.

To enhance guest comfort, especially in colder weather, provide amenities like blankets or a hot drink station. If your venue is remote or is prone to be affected by the weather, consider arranging transportation to ensure everyone arrives safely and on time.

6. Embrace Holiday Decor and Seasonal Colors

The holiday season naturally brings a palette of rich colors and festive decorations. You can integrate these elements into your wedding theme to create a harmonious and spirited ambiance; doing this can also help you save on decor costs by utilizing the venue's existing decorations.

For something more unique, think beyond the traditional reds and greens; consider winter whites, blues, silvers, and gold for a sophisticated twist. Use lighting to create a warm, inviting atmosphere: fairy lights, candles, and lanterns can transform a space into a winter wonderland. Remember, the goal is to complement, not compete with, the holiday décor.

7. Capture the Holiday Magic in Your Photos

Your wedding photos are a cherished keepsake and a holiday wedding offers opportunities for breathtaking photographs. Collaborate with your photographer and take advantage of the holiday magic in the air by reflecting it in your photos. From snowy landscapes to twinkling lights, these elements can add a magical touch to your photos. Consider a mix of daytime and evening shots as well to take full advantage of the varied lighting during the holiday season. Don't forget to capture candid moments of guests enjoying the festive atmosphere—these spontaneous shots often become the most treasured ones.

8. Anticipate and Plan for Delays

The holiday rush can affect everything, from vendor deliveries to guest arrivals. Communicate with your vendors about contingency plans for late deliveries or other unforeseen events. If guests are traveling from afar, remind them to plan for possible travel disruptions. This foresight eases stress and ensures that your special day runs smoothly.

With these 8 tips, it should be easier for you to plan your wedding during the holidays. It's everyone's season to celebrate love and joy, and that includes your wedding! 

Your special day is a joyous occasion that can be magnified by the enchanting background of the yuletide season. While it can be challenging, the hurdles you might encounter when planning a holiday wedding are mere stepping stones to creating an event filled with warmth, love, and cheer. Follow these tips to help you weave the season's charm into your special day. Your holiday wedding can be a beautiful blend of romance and holiday spirit, leaving you and your guests with memories that will sparkle for years.

*photo by JESHOOTS.COM from Unsplash.

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Sunday, November 27, 2022

Blood, books, boys, and my birthday: A busy life update!

Hello, my dear Loyal Readers! I disappeared! My last post here was early October and lookie here - it's almost December! What did we miss???

Well, I missed you, that's for sure. I've always enjoyed sharing my stories here on the blog because you share your stories, too! And then I don't feel so alone. Thank you! But since I've been quiet, we haven't been talking. And I miss you all!

So let me tell you what's been up with me. I'm sharing some posts from my Instagram because I do a few life updates there. So follow me @francesampersales! But I'll do a summary here as well. 

First, some of you emailed or DM'd to ask about my literally bloody predicament in my last life update (School, Sex, Blood & Books). Thanks for asking! I'm better now. Not bleeding anymore. Huge relief considering I was bleeding profusely from August to October. What hell! I had to have a D&C so that the gynecologist can rule out scary diseases. 

Thankfully, I'm just perimenopausal. My reproductive system is okay, just acting up because I'm an old woman. What a relief! But it was a truly stressful week worrying about cancer. I switched birth control and after a few weeks adjusting to the shot, I'm sooo happy. No more blood!

Then right after I got out of the hospital, I was busy supporting my husband and the launch of his novel, The End of All Skies. It's gotten good reviews on Goodreads, Instagram #TheEndOfAllSkies, and blogs.

We're happy fellow Southeast Asians love the book. I'm hoping it also finds an audience globally. Our mythology is very different from the West, which is familiar with East Asian stories. But Filipino, Indonesian, Malaysian, Vietnamese, Thai, and the rest of the region? No. Even Moana was strange for many people in the West. We need to talk about our own stories because ours is so rich and wild and spectacular!  

Please buy a copy of Vince's novel! If you want a signed copy and a FREE copy of his first book, Children in Exile, order from me! It's P1,050 plus shipping. 

Send me an email - frances@topazhorizon.com. Now na! Thanks!

You can also get a copy from Amazon for $24.90 or download the ebook from Kindle for $13.99.

Anyway, it's not all happy news. My sons' hamsters died. It's been sad and sweet, saying good-bye to the cute critters that made the last 2 years so bearable. We thought we'd have one more year with them (tame hamsters can live up to 3 years), but apparently, their sole purpose was to keep my quarantined kids happy while the COVID-19 virus raged outside our home. And now that we're all vaccinated and better equipped to face the world, our hamsters went over the Rainbow Bridge, their task done.

Let me tell you that our hearts were so heavy the weeks we waited for the hamsters to pass away. They were old and slow, spending the days just sleeping. The kids were stressed, wondering, "Is this the day?" Finally, the dreaded days did arrive. My boys were so sad. I was sad, too, because I was the main caretaker of those hamsters! We comforted each other. And it's been 5 weeks but my youngest boy just told me as I'm blogging, "Mama, I miss Chocnut."

Gosh, we love you and miss you, Choccy and Spoody. Thanks for the joy! 

Then I turned 46!

I didn't do anything special. I was recovering from my health scare, neck-deep in homeschooling, trying to write my werewolf romance novel, looking for a job (which means no budget for any big celebrations!), and being a mom and wife. I was exhausted! 

But grateful. Always grateful. Thank you so much for the love! Maybe when I turn 47, I'll have pictures to share! 

Oh, another thing that I appreciate is I found out my blog turned up in these lists by Feedspot:

#26 in 80 Best Philippines Mom Blogs and Websites 

#32 in 100 Best Asian Mom Blogs and Websites

#22 in Top 80 Philippines Mom RSS Feed 

Thanks, Feedspot! I didn't even know I had an RSS feed. I'm kinda bewildered by this all since I was never on these lists when I was one of the top mom bloggers in the country way back from 2008 to 2016. Now that I'm hardly blogging and my stats have understandably gone down, my blog gets recognized. And on 3 lists, too!

I'm thankful. That tells me that despite the sporadic posts, I'm still writing good posts. 

That also tells me to blog again! 

I know everyone's on Tiktok now. Apparently, people don't read anymore and just want to watch people dancing and pointing to floating words while smiling and shaking their heads. But that shouldn't stop me from blogging because I'm writing for the ones who do still read. And you are my favorite people. The best kind of all - readers!

I have sooo many stories. Plus, some of you suggested topics or sent questions about my life and marriage so there - more stuff to blog about! So I'll get to that.

Hey, thank you for sticking around. There are so many other blogs and vlogs and social media accounts to follow, yet here you are. Thanks for caring. It means the world to me. You mean the world to me! I love you all! 

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Friday, May 06, 2022

Vito's 11th birthday

My blog post last Monday reminded my Loyal Readers that my kids aren't toddlers anymore. "Vito is turning 12?" Yes! "Where did the time go?" I don't know. I still stare at them and wonder the same thing. 

I haven't been sharing the boys' birthdays anymore but let me quickly share Vito's 11th birthday party last year. I want to give you - those who still call him Jelly Bean - a peek at my not-so-little boy's happiness.


So this was in August and we were all stuck at home, but that didn't prevent us from having a great day! We had guests anyway - a retinue of penguins, foxes, and wolves to help celebrate the big day!


Look at how happy my boys are. They've been so good throughout the pandemic. I think they loved being cooped up inside, even if it dragged on for 2 years (and counting!). I could never ask for better boys. And it all started with the eldest one, my Vito.


Vito has always been easy. Easy pregnancy, easy childbirth, easy recovery, easy infancy, easy toddlerhood, easy everything! He's a happy, healthy, smart, and such a good boy. It's so easy to make him laugh. And he asks so little from us. Just video games and lots of food to munch on. That's it. He's happy.


His Papa once said, "I hope he never changes." And with Vito on the cusp of big change coming - adolescence! teenagehood! middle school! - I agree with his Papa. May this wonderful little boy never ever change. May he always be healthy. May he always be happy. May he always have love and support. That's all I ever want for him, the boy who changed my life. 

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Monday, May 31, 2021

A happy 9th birthday


Well, someone had a really good month! 


Iñigo turned 9 and we had so much fun celebrating the funniest little boy in the world! We had balloons and toys, cake and ice cream, and hugs and kisses. Just the kind of birthday party that we always have. 


I can't say much about Iñigo anymore. I'm not allowed haha He wants me to respect his privacy, but he did say he wanted Mama's friends to see how happy his birthday was. So here are a few photos of such a happy day!


It's his second birthday in quarantine. Second of a few more since vaccinations for kids start at 12 years old. He has 3 years to go. Till then, he stays home and stays safe. Lord, please let that be Your birthday gift to my not-so-little boy. Let him and his brothers be healthy and untouched by Covid forever. 


Bless him. Keep him safe. Nourish his dreams. Show him Your will for his life. Let him be this joyful and funny all the days of his life, which I pray to be full of love. Take care of my boy, dear God, on his birthday and many more birthdays to come. Amen. 

*If you do want to know what Iñigo's like, check out what I wrote about him on his 5th birthday. He's still exactly the same.

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Monday, April 26, 2021

Happy birthday, Aida!

This is Aida. She's my best friend from high school and today is her birthday. 


You've seen her on this blog just a few times. That's because she left the country when we were in college to study medical school in the US, then married and started a family in France, and that's where she's been since. We both married men named Vincent and we are moms of boys! 

And in the last 25 years, we've seen each other maybe 10 times. It's tough to sustain a friendship over distance and time. We weren't there for each other much when we were growing up. Back then, in the 90s and early 2000s, there was only snail mail. Oh, and email of course. We try to catch up but life is a whirlwind of many changes and we have our new friends for those now. But Aida will always be special and I'll tell you why. 

You may be wondering why I chose to start this blog post with a photo of Aida holding my book. Seems like a post celebrating her shouldn't start with promoting something of mine. But that photo says so much about my dear friend. You see, she may be so far away but she always makes sure she stays in touch and supports her friends in whatever we do. Every single thing we achieve, she's the first to be happy for us and to celebrate with us - even though she's so far away! All her friends are so lucky to have someone so thoughtful in our life.

Aida's friendship is more than just words of affirmation from her. She actually does things to make us feel special. She always tries to chat with me on Messenger, but because of the time difference, I very seldom get to say hi back. But it's not like she lacks friends. She has so many friends. She has friends on a global scale! If her friend has a wedding, she will be there, no matter where in the world that wedding is. If a friend wants to meet up, she will buy a plane ticket and fly there. All our high school reunions, she attended. I only went to the last one and I failed to get a photo with her. 

Aida makes everyone feel important. That's why she was the most popular girl in high school. Everyone loved Aida. Boys and girls. Teachers, too. My family loves her. I don't know anyone who doesn't love her.

She's not a pure ray of light, though. She's great at cutting down people with a look. If she doesn't like you or what you said, you're going to know. Oh boy, will you know! In fact, she's the one who told me to be brave with whatever I think and do. I used to be a people-pleaser (sometimes I still am) and Aida told me again and again I can be nice without putting up with bullshit. I learned not to put up with bullshit eventually but it took a while. 

Everyone thinks I'm this brave woman but I was pretty much a very insecure, anxious, and fearful girl. If you're wondering what transformed me, well, first I should give credit to my ever-growing faith in God's love for me. Then to my eternal gratitude, He sent not-so-divine people my way - my husband Vince when I hit my 20s and, before that, there was Aida.


In high school, no one really liked me. I don't know why. I don't want to know why. Honestly, I'm over it. I had a few friends and that was enough. I did notice that one of my friendships made people look at me differently and that was my friendship with Aida. She was the one who called me best friend first, which startled me. She told everyone I was her best friend and I literally saw people get bewildered, get curious, then become nice to me. When you're 14 years old, that means the world. I realized that they thought very highly of Aida and if she loved me then I must be so much more than the box everyone unfairly put me in. People gave me a chance simply because one person vouched for me.

That's a real gift. That's why I try so very hard to be good and fair to other people and to give people a chance because Aida was good and fair to me. Just one person's kindness opened up my world in vast ways. I can't even measure the profound effect that had on my life. What would I be now if I remained that cowering creature that nobody liked? Her love for me changed me. I learned to be unafraid of my intelligence, to speak out, to be funny, to not give a shit about what people thought, to leave everything behind if it was holding me back, to venture out, to love with all my heart, and to be unapologetic about my life. 

Aida was my biggest influence when I was a kid and she may have been a kid herself but her kindness and courage changed me deeply. I hope she knows that. I don't think I ever told her how she changed my life. So I needed to write this so she knows that I see her and what she's done for me.

Dearest Aida, today, on your birthday, I want to say thank you. For standing up for me, for teaching me to love myself, for flying to my wedding, for buying my book and telling everyone about it, for being proud of me, and for being my friend and staying my friend. My life wouldn't be the same without you. I love you and celebrate you and honor you and bless you, Dang. Happy birthday!

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Wednesday, March 03, 2021

Life update!

Oh my! I hardly blogged last month! Didn't I have a 30-Day Blogging Challenge? Whatever happened to that???

Well, this has been the happy happening:


The paperback copies of Not Invisible finally arrived on our shores and I've been so busy handling and sending out orders. This being the pandemic, I can't hire people to help me, although my second son sometimes helps with the packing. So it's been slow but so exciting!

I also have brand partnerships! Thanks so much to Welch's 100% Grape Juice, Champion by Energen chocolate malt drink, and to Wolvit biotin supplement for supporting me! 


To my readers, please help me and support them back. I'll be blogging a review on Wolvit soon. Spoiler alert: I'm so excited about this hair, nails, and skin supplement! Then Welch's wants me to give away their products and my book to you! Watch for these exciting posts this March!

Finally and most wonderful of all, my husband celebrated his birthday, which was right after Valentine's Day, so that weekend and week was FUN! We had chocolates, ice cream, cake, and lots of sashimi! Vince didn't want me to greet him publicly (also known as a Fezbook greeting haha) so I didn't say anything at all, save for this vague one:

My husband and our boys having tons of fun! Today is a special day for our family but the celebrant
doesn't want a social media greeting so let me just say may the Force be with these boys always and 
may their bond be stronger than the interstellar one Mando and Baby Yoda has.

It's been a good start of the year, even though we still aren't out of the woods yet. In fact, despite the COVID-19 vaccination program starting this month, this is far from over. The anniversary of our quarantine is just around the corner and for us who survived or have avoided COVID-19 so far, the last year has been full of fear and also relief. I sometimes feel guilty for escaping 2020 unscathed. I've never been more aware of my privilege till the pandemic happened. I've been so good and careful. Never going anywhere unless it's for food, medicine, and essentials. Always washing my hands and adding the extra step of using alcohol. 

We can't take our health and life for granted! Please don't let your guard down. But I confess I kinda did today. I had to do some lab tests at 8 AM and because I had to fast for 10 hours, I was so hungry that I ate at a restaurant as soon as my blood was drawn by the clinic. The restaurant was empty. The A/C wasn't on. I wiped down my table and chair with alcohol. I was so safe. Then I forgot to sanitize the utensils and scratched my nose after eating. I was terrified for an hour. What if...?

But we can't worry about the future too much. And I had to remind myself of my new mantra these past couple of years - "I'll cross that bridge when I get there." I'll do my best to be prepared for the future but there's no point worrying about it until tomorrow is finally today. 

So many happy news! I went through a few bad ones, too. I hope this 2021 will be filled with more happy news than bad ones. The only things I pray for now are our good health and for God's provision. He's been good and faithful. So all's good! And that's my life update!  

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