Sunday, October 20, 2024

We all need meaningful connections

This post was inspired by MomConnect.

This time last year was when the clouds in my head began to clear. It had been a difficult period because I had just started a new job, and my schedule changed drastically. I barely saw my husband, and I hardly spent time with our boys, who had also returned to school. Exhausted and sad, I distanced myself from family and friends, choosing instead to sleep and cry on weekends.

(Missed that life update? Read it here!)

By October, however, things started to shift. My body had adjusted, the toxic atmosphere at work resigned, er, disappeared, and I had finally completed my hormone therapy — the side effects of which had been wreaking havoc on both my mind and body. Slowly, I regained time, energy, and the emotional space to reconnect with the people I love and the things that brought me joy. Life started to feel manageable again, and I began to feel like myself once more.


You can't imagine the relief I feel now that I recognize myself again. Even my husband, Vince, says he feels the same way! This year, 2024, has been so much better, and I’m truly grateful.

To be fair, my family and friends were always there for me.* My sister Jacqui helped me sort through my thoughts, which was incredibly helpful. Considering she had a disastrous year herself, it’s amazing that she still went out of her way to support me. I honestly couldn’t do the same—I was too wrapped up in my own despair.

My friend Justine also played a big role in pulling me out of my depression, and she did it with the one thing that always works: duty. I had to edit her books, and even though all I wanted was to curl up and sleep, those deadlines kept me going and, in a strange way, kept me sane.

Slowly but surely, I started reconnecting with family and friends. I even found myself willing to chat with complete strangers again, which isn’t surprising—that's the old me. I used to love striking up conversations with people anywhere and everywhere. But last year, I was closed off, hostile to everyone. So, I’m really glad to feel like myself again. What’s even nicer is that my family and friends welcomed me back with open arms.


Let me quickly walk you through the photos! The top one is with my dearest friend and Lean In Manila co-founder, Ginger. That was such a fun day when our families took the Pasig River ferry to Intramuros—a memorable adventure. The next photo is from a long-awaited reunion with the OK! magazine girls, and of course, four hours was nowhere near enough to catch up! Then there’s a shot of me with my Praying Wives group (and a couple of husbands) during a fun dinner.

In the bottom row, there's Justine and me celebrating fantastic news about her book. I’m so glad I pushed through with editing her novel because... I'll share more exciting details when I know more! Next, that’s my brother Ted and my sister-in-law Rose with Jacqui and our kids. Vince and my other boys stayed home, which was a pity because we ended up having a wild road trip! Then there’s a lovely photo with Martine and Jean, two fascinating women. And finally, that’s me with the amazing Lean In Manila women during one of our workshops. 

As I reflected on my journey back to myself, I realized how powerful connection has been in my healing process. It reminded me of the importance of reaching out, even when things feel overwhelming.


That’s why I’m so excited to talk about MomConnect 2024, happening on October 26. This year’s theme, “#CalltoConnect,” speaks deeply to me. It’s all about fostering the connections that keep us grounded—whether it's with family, friends, or even new faces we meet along the way.

Hosted by Mommy Mundo, MomConnect will offer a full day of learning and interaction, bringing together moms and experts to discuss pressing parenting and societal concerns. Whether you’re looking for guidance, inspiration, or simply a sense of community, this event is an invitation for moms and families to connect in meaningful ways.

More details here! MomConnect 2024

I know firsthand how much meaningful connections can transform our lives, and I’m looking forward to attending MomConnect 2024 to learn more about how we can uplift each other as parents, partners, and friends. I’d love for you to join me! 

You can REGISTER HERE and use this code: FrancesforMomCon to get a discount!

I truly hope to see you there! It’s been a while since I’ve been in the mommy bloggers, influencers, and networking circles, and it would be wonderful to reconnect with all of you. If you spot me and I seem a little shy, just know it’s because I’m still finding my footing again. 

Anyway, enough about me! Let's all see each other at MomCon! Your presence would mean the world, and together we can continue supporting each other on this journey of motherhood and beyond. See you soon!



*If you're depressed, it's totally understandable why you can't reach out to people. When I was going through it, I felt dark and didn't want to BURDEN people with my self-perceived ugliness. 

So, to our family and friends, please be the ones to check in. "Hey, how are you? I'm coming over. I'm calling now. I don't care about the mess or anything, I just want to see you." Please just check in. You may save a life. 

Follow me on Threads, @francesampersales
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Wednesday, October 16, 2024

That rock 'n' roll vibe in a long marriage

This is George Harrison and Pattie Boyd. She was married to two of the greatest British musical icons (George and Eric Clapton) and was their muse, inspiring "Something" by the Beatles and "Layla" and "Wonderful Tonight" by Clapton. But we're not talking about that love triangle. In fact, how jarring to have that sweet title and have this photo under it when they divorced!

But in this photo, they were young and in love. So today, we're going to talk about the rock 'n' roll vibe they had here.

You may or may not agree, but this picture of George and Pattie when they were kids is Vince and me when we were kids. 

I'm not saying we're that amazing, nope, not at all. I, for one, will never inspire a song, let alone two! I haven't inspired anyone to create any art at all. Although I've inspired smiles from this guy since he was 25. And we inspired each other to become better versions of ourselves... at least better versions of ourselves most days in the last 25 years!

(Yes, Vince is 50 and I'll be 48 next month!)


Anyway, I've been thinking that staying married for years and years on end is like a really good rock 'n' roll album. It's exciting and loud, it's sexy and passionate, and sometimes, like a powerful ballad, it can feel dramatic and emotional. 

(Yes, I'm listening to my playlist of old rock 'n' roll songs.) 


Last night, I told my kids, "You don't ever have to worry about your father and me. We're ride or die, till death do us part." 

Ride or die. I think the kids liked that very much. But it's true. In a long marriage (emphasis on long), all the love songs apply. As my favorite soft rock song goes, "You can't tell me it's not worth trying for, I can't help it there's nothing I want more. Yeah, I'd fight for you. I'd lie for you. Walk the wire for you. Yeah, I'd die for you. You know it's true, everything I do, I do it for you." 


A long marriage is what's rock 'n' roll. A short love affair is like a pop song. It's fun and catchy and then... Thank you, next! No shade. I love pop songs, too. My marriage sometimes feels like a series of love affairs. Same man, same me, but over the years so many different versions of us. That's fun, too. And yes, thank you, now what's the next version of you? Sometimes we don't like the new incarnation and we fight and rage. And then we change yet again. Then fall in love again. What matters is sticking to the end of the song.

The best rock songs are a mix of chaotic energy and harmony. I think a successful marriage is the same as long as you both work hard to find your rhythm. It takes years of working together to turn the raw and intense emotions from love and anger, joy and sadness to create beautiful music. You just need to commit. That's not always easy. Sometimes, we walk away and be alone. But in the end, we go back because we've committed to something bigger than our emotions. We endure because there's music to play, stories to write, and love to be made.

A long marriage requires defying the odds. It’s rebelling against the idea that love fades or that passion dies with time. I have it on good authority that the sex gets even better. Oh, if the young Vince and me knew what old Vince and me could do...!


So, I think staying married for years is rock 'n' roll because it takes passion, grit, and the willingness to ride through the noise to find your unique rhythm together and create harmony. 

Haha so corny. But I love it. I love it all! 

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Tuesday, October 08, 2024

Baby Bumps

"Reminiscing on the belly today." Hailey Bieber

Justin Bieber's baby mama posted on IG beautiful photos of her preggy belly, which made me wish I had maternity shoots. Instead I'm going to share a few from my three pregnancies! 

2010
Pregnant with Jelly Bean



2012
Pregnant with Wiggles



2014
Pregnant with Baby Chicken



I found that I have more solo preggy pics with my second one. The first and last, I was always with somebody! The last one, the somebodies were his 2 older brothers who were just so darn cute! But I wanted this post to be about my baby belly, not the babies haha

And then I blinked and now instead of babies, I have these big boys eating us out of house and home, filling the days and nights with laughter, gossip, singing, and playing the piano. Filling my once-pretty house with their mess, too. I think my house will be clean again when they move out. Feels like a million years away but we all know I'll blink and they're gone.

It's been said so many times but I'll say it anyway: It goes by so fast. I'm so happy I had healthy pregnancies (the third one had a bit of trouble, which was why it was the last). I'm so grateful all of them were delivered quickly and easily, and that I recovered so frikkin' fast every time. And I'm thankful you were there with me and blessed me every time.

Reminiscing on the belly today reminded me how incredibly grateful I am for everything. It's been the most wonderful time. 
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Sunday, October 06, 2024

Book Review: Nanay and the Moon by Elyrah L. Salanga-Torralba

If you'd like to expose your children to more poetry, then here's a book you should try. Nanay and the Moon by Elyrah L. Salanga-Torralba. Elyrah is a lovely writer and her honesty and wit come through in her book of poetry for children. Before I share with you a couple of my favorites, let's quickly go through the reasons why parents should read poetry to their children.


Any book lover knows that reading to children offers a wealth of benefits, not just as an emotional bonding experience but also adds greatly to their intellectual development. I noticed that when I read poems to my kids, they enjoyed them a lot. So here's very quickly why we parents should make poetry a part of our children’s reading experience:

1. Helps our kids with language development. That means a bigger vocabulary, exposure to playful language, and an awareness of sounds and rhythm. 

2. Improves their listening and concentration skills. This is obviously spoken poetry. And poetry really must be read aloud anyway. Our kids learn active listening. Kids these days need to learn this! 

3. Enhances their imagination (and parents' too!). Poetry often uses vivid imagery which makes kids use their imagination. It helps them visualize what's happening and feel emotions in a way that prose doesn’t always provide. So hello, creativity!

4. Encourages critical thinking. How??? Poems have metaphors and symbolism so our kids think beyond literal meanings and dive deeper into the words to discover what they really mean.

5. Helps them express emotions better. We all know the power of a song, right? When we're in love, heartbroken, happy, grieving. Poetry does the same for our kids, especially those who are discovering new feelings they don't have words for yet.

So try to squeeze poetry into your child’s life. It can unlock creativity, nurture emotional intelligence, and build a strong foundation for literacy skills—all while creating enjoyable bonding moments!

So now let me share with you my favorite poems from Nanay and the Moon:


So funny! But that ending is ouch! The kids will find this hilarious while we parents can use this as a teaching moment to remind them to keep the house clean so that we don't suffer the terrorism of ipis!


I love how this poem says that we mommies are storytellers. We have so many stories and I spend a lot of time just chatting with my boys and they're spellbound. We're the ones who teach our kids language, emotions, culture, moral lessons, spirituality. What a beautiful responsibility!

Nanay and the Moon is full of simple language that many children can grasp. They're easy to read aloud - no hard-to-pronounce word here! The poems are short, too, so you can be sure your kids won't fall asleep (well, depending on the age of your child, try to do 1-3 poems per session). 

Congratulations, Elyrah, on your book!

Purchase Nanay and the Moon by Elyrah L. Salanga-Torralba here:
UP Press 
Lazada
Shopee

* * * * * * *

I review books written by Filipinos. If you're a mom, I'll prioritize it!     


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Saturday, September 28, 2024

Yes, I did get a Tod's D Bag... and how!

My dear Loyal Readers deserve this little story. You're going to love this because at the height of my obsession, you sent me messages encouraging me to just buy it! And so I did. But I'm getting ahead of my story.

Once upon a time, a silly girl fell in love with the ugliest designer bag in the world.

I first told you about my Tod's D Bag love affair in my old beauty blog way back in the late 2000's. I remember the comments saying they'd never heard of Tod's before. I don't care if no one knew Tod's. For me, it was Princess Diana's bag and that was enough reason to own one. I reaffirmed my desire for that ugly plain bag here: Yes, I still want something from Tod's. Two years later, with Kate Middleton (plus Hollywood celebs and local fashionistas) also caught out and about with the Tod's D Bag , I promised myself I would own one one day.

But I could never bring myself to buy it because I just didn't have the money. And then when I finally did have the money, I realized it wasn't even that beautiful a bag to splurge on. It's really quite boring. But I liked its plain ugliness, its anonymity, and the fact that no one owned one. Everyone I knew had more than a few Louis Vuitton, a couple of Pradas and Goyards, a Ferragamo here, a Fendi there, a Celine, a Chanel, and even an Hermes. But a Tod's? Nobody owned a Tod's. The bag that two princesses owned? The bag that Amy Dunne, the most insane movie wife, carried??? It's the most understated, under-the-radar luxury designer bag. And that's why I was obsessed with it. But I didn't want to fork over that much cash for it. 

So at first, it was around 70K. Then every year, it got more and more expensive until finally, it was 115K. I figured it was never going to get cheaper so I should buy it. But, being a mom by then, I very quickly snapped out of that insanity when I realized the better choice isn't always the easiest choice. So I let go of the dream but asked God anyway that if ever He can throw one my way, I'd appreciate that very much.

Now I've said here before that we must never treat God as a wish-granting fairy. That said, I've had some prayers answered (do you remember my Ethan Allen headboard?). So a year after I bid good-bye to Tod's, one of my friends said that I could buy from Japan. In Japan, she said, people discarded their designer bags quickly. So I went to the eBay store she told me about and I was astounded to find the exact Tod's D-styling Bauletto Bag in dove grey that I wanted. And it was in pristine condition. It was practically brand new! I couldn't believe it!

Now, on eBay, it's an auction and the starting bid for the bag was Php 4,500. I couldn't believe it! I saw that the bidding was open for 7 days, and that made me lose hope because bids can go up to crazy amounts. There's automatic bidding so I started my bid at Php 5,000 and set my final bid for Php 15,000 and I told myself I won't check the bidding war till after the auction ends. Because sometimes, in the last few minutes of the auction, that's when the bids come in and you get excited and carried away and bid and bid and bid, then the next thing you know, you've pledged your entire savings and retirement plan for something dumb like a bag.

So 7 days later, I checked eBay and to my shock, I had been the only bidder! So I won the bag of my dreams for only Php 5,000! Shipping was Php 4,500. I paid for it with my credit card and 3 days later, I got the big box of royal bag joy. I opened it and my Tod's D-styling Bauletto Bag looked brand new. It smelled brand new. It felt brand new. I was so happy!

I don't know why I never blogged about this. I quietly debuted my Tod's D Bag in this post - A peek at Tod's SS 2017 collection - but it's such a bad photo so nobody noticed my dream come true hahaha 

This is my most recent outing with it. This was literally today!


So now here's the amazing part. 

The purchase never appeared on my credit card bill. This could be for a variety of reasons. In my case, the merchant could've failed to process the transaction correctly, or there was a technical glitch. Or there could've been a delay.

I waited and waited for the charge and then forgot about it till maybe a year or so later. So I called up the bank and told them they never billed me. They made me wait on the line for minutes on end, hunting down the purchase. They never found it. They then told me that since it's been more than a year, it's considered "outside their window for action." A bank allows disputes for billing errors within 60 to 120 days so they said I could try contacting the merchant to ask if they want to reprocess the transaction. So I (very reluctantly I will admit) sent a message to the store. They never replied. You know why? The eBay store didn't exist anymore.

So I got my Tod's D Bag for free.

FREE! FREE! FREE!

After all those years. After all that hemming and hawing. After all that praying. I got my silly bag for free!

You gotta admit that's incredible.

So I have the bag of my dreams. That I got for free. That no one knew about. Until today.

And that's my Tod's D Bag story. Oh, by the way, soon after I got my bag, Tod's discontinued it so now it's a collector's item. I can't sell it, though. It's really so used and battered. The leather's gotten softer, so it's slouchier and uglier. But that made me love it even more and so now I'm going to use it happily ever after! 

Follow me on Threads, @francesampersales
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