Wednesday, September 14, 2016

Why we shouldn't ignore our children

This is the Still Face Experiment.

It shows that when we don't react and interact with our children, it upsets them and hinders them from learning. Their emotional, mental and psychological development is severely compromised.

And that's why I now feel bad that I'm a work-at-home mom!

Working at home is really hard because I need to focus on the tasks. Like, really focus. Anyone who works knows that! After all, writing and editing articles, replying to emails, talking to people on the phone, doing accounting—these things can't be done while distracted. And while there's that adage that truthfully says, "Children are not a distraction from more important work. They are the most important work," it was said at a time when mothers didn't work and weren't expected to work (the quote is attributed to writer C.S. Lewis). Things are much different now.

Oh! I'm making excuses for my behavior.

Many moms tell me how lucky I am to spend time with my kids and work at the same time. I always agree (and I really do!), but I also feel guilty because I may be with my kids but I'm not really with them when I work. And lately, I've been getting irritated a lot at my sons when they demand my attention. "Look at what I draw, Mama! Look at what I eat, Mama! Look at the funny guy in TV, Mama! Look at me, Mama!"

And I snap, "Yes, yes! Stop bothering me. I'm working!"

I feel horrible.

Do any of you work-at-home moms do the same thing? How do you deal with this? I've tried not working when the kids are awake, so I work really late at night. But it's my health that suffers. I seriously don't know what to do. Except maybe go work in an office, like I used to. Back then, when I did that, I worked when I had to work, then left the work at the office so I can really pour my attention on my kids. But the traffic scares me.

I don't ever want to ignore my kids. Ever. I've seen the hurt in their eyes and I always justify it with "We need the money so I have to work." But my kids need me now so what now? If only love can buy the things we need!

Lord, thank You for providing for our needs by giving us work. Please never let me forget that my work is for You, my kids and myself. Please always remind me to put You and my family before work. And bless my children for their forgiving hearts. May I deserve their love by becoming a better mommy to them! Amen.


  1. I feel you Frances...

    I sometimes work from home and when my son sees me in front of my laptop he wants to sit on my who gets work done with that?!?

    Why not have a dedicated home office that is off limits to the kids (kid free zone) and you can spend an hour or two or three perhaps really engage in your income generating work :). That way you don't have the traffic to contend with, but you still have dedicated work time sans distractions... or perhaps shared office near your home?

    yeah they are the one of the reasons why we work and our most important "work"... oh well hope those suggestions are helpful...have a nice day! :)

  2. Work at home or outside home, we moms have a lot to juggle. This post has made me realize how I'm hurting my sons. Sometimes, because we want to earn and give them a better life, we tend to ignore them not realizing that it greatly affects them. I work on a regular 9 hours shift a day and yes traffic is freaking me out everyday, it is eating additional 2-3 hours/day away from my kids. Then we need to rest, too! If only love can buy the things we need - this is painful, knowing that we have to do all these sacrifices as part of being a mommy. But, yeah thanks be to the Lord who never leaves us :)

  3. Same scenario here mommy Frances.

    Sometimes being a WAHM feels like a blessing and a curse. Funny just when I was on a phone call with a client, my son screamed "Mama I pooped!"

    It came to a point that my husband witnessing my distress over working at home to build my business, urged me to stop it cause he can provide financially enough for us anyway. But I told him I can do this. I just knew I can handle it. Just haven't found the holy grail yet. Like you I tried working at night when the kids are sound asleep but it truly compromises our health. Most of the times I lock myself in the room with my laptop grinding more important tasks, meeting deadlines.

    Thankfully now that my bunso is a preschooler I can work at peace when my kids are all in school. Motivation, tons of discipline and yes prayers! A little pat in the back from your own self. We can do this, cheers!

  4. Oh Frances, this post made me cry! And I found myself saying "sorry, sorry baby!" while watching the mom in the video remain poker-faced (over-internalization ba?? lol)

    I also often need to work on my materials at home, and I try to get work done in the very early hours of the morning when the hubby and kids are still asleep, or late at night. But yes, it will take a toll on your health, and I find that I really need cups of coffee to get me through the day.

    Do your kids have a common naptime while your eldest is in school? When it was just me with the kids while hubby was at work, the only way I could get housework (or any work!) done during the day was when the kids were both asleep, so I made a point of them taking their afternoon naps at the same time.

    I'm blessed with a yaya now, so I'm grateful I can "hand-off" my 2yo Baby Ball every so often to his yaya while my daughter (she's turning 6) is in school, and work in a room where he can't see or hear me, and vice-versa. It's painful for both of us if we know that Mama's "just there".. but really isn't.

    Every juggling act we do, and every sacrifice we make, we make for the sake of the family. Good luck, and continued prayers for you and every parent!

  5. I work in an office setting but there are times that I work from home as well. And I usually read emails from my phone, too, whenever I am not at work. There are times when I have to tell my son to wait because Mommy is doing something or ask his nanny to play with him. If that doesn't work, I spend time with him, albeit distracted, I do what you do, too - work when the little boy is asleep. While I try to make it up to him, the guilt just piles up.

    Being a single mom to a special needs child is hard. Keeping a balance between working to earn and spending time with my son is hard work. I'm not complaining though (well, except probably for the fact that I am sorely in need of a massage). :)

    Praying for supermommy strength for us all. :)

  6. Thanks for sharing, this is such an eye-opener for a WAHM like me. I recently posted a photo of my little girl using her iPad, while I was busy posting on my client's Social Media sites. I just realized that that photo is a reminder that I am ignoring my daughter, whether I like it or not. I thought I was doing a good job because I can work while taking care of my child. But having my daughter use a gadget while I do my stuff, isn't the right thing do at all. Thanks for making me realize how important it is to put my daughter's needs above all else.

  7. I feel you Frances. Thanks for sharing this. It means I am not alone. Stay strong! I really admire how you juggle everything! I also considered finding a "regular" job again, but no-no to traffic! Haha (: It will only lessen my time with the kids and when I get home for sure, they're sleeping already or too tired to play with mom.

  8. Hi. I feel exactly the same. I am so blessed that I see them everyday. True, working at home is a blessing and a curse. I feel guilty every time I snap and see their sad faces.. ;( tried working at night as well, but like everyone else, it compromises my health (my eldest wakes up between 4-630am). I'm happy to know that I am not alone... Stay strong!

    P.S. can I repost/share? Thanks


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