Sunday, October 16, 2016

What exactly is a supermom?

I've been called supermom by a lot of people and I always ask, "Why do you say that? You don't live in my house!" I laugh. The person I'm talking to laughs and I sometimes get these answers:

"You cook!"
"You have no yaya!"
"You work and you're hands on!"
"You don't look like a mom!"

So, moms, if you want to be a supermom, you can't look like a mom. Whatever that means.

So, moms, if you want to be a supermom, you have to have a career AND be the sole caregiver of your kids.

So, moms, if you want to be a supermom, fire your yaya right now. Pati yung katulong at driver!

So, moms, if you want to be a supermom, you have to do all the cooking yourself.

I'm not ungrateful for having my efforts as a mother praised. Thank you. But you don't see my struggles, my laziness, my impatience, my temper, my self-pity. You don't see me when I'm crying because I got caught up in work and lost track of the time and suddenly it's lunch time and I'm running around the kitchen feeling like an absolute failure. You don't see me when I'm yelling at the kids because they just won't stop fighting and hurting each other. You don't see me in my ratty shorts and shirts with breastmilk stains and wondering when I can take a shower.

But who wants to see that? Even I don't want to see myself that way. It's just not... super. It's all sorts of sad and frustrating and exhausting.

This photo is from a previous oh-so adowable post

And yet today, I will agree that I am a supermom. Today, I woke up after just a few hours of interrupted sleep to make breakfast for my kids. I did two loads of laundry (whites and uniforms first, colored clothes next). I washed the dishes and cooked lunch. I breastfed the baby and put him down for a nap. I set the table, ate lunch with my family, then helped Vito with his homework. Then after a little rest, I slapped on foundation and kilay, threw on an old shirt and comfy mommy jeans so that my family can troop to the mall and have a snack. Oh, and get food for a school picnic and buy a steamer, too, because I absolutely hate ironing.

It's Sunday. God calls it rest day. But no mother rests on a Sunday. Every supermom I know gets up every single day and gets through the day. Whether she has a job or not. Whether she has household help or not. Whether she's married or single. We take care of everything. We're supermoms. Every mom who works hard to make her family happy and healthy—though there will be times she will fail!—is a supermom.

And if you're a mom and you don't think you're super just because you don't look the part, or because you don't cook, or because you have a career, or because you need a village to help raise your kids, think again. Your love for your babies is your superpower.

Now isn't that super?


  1. I love this post! I don't think anyone has called me a supermom, but sometimes the pressure we put on ourselves plus the pressure other people unknowingly put on us can really be a lot. It's a never-ending process, learning how to be a parent. I realize that one of my pitfalls is when I forget to prioritize and stress about certain things. I also learned that little kids don't know how to rush and don't know how we feel when we're late and have a million things on our to do list. I feel you, momma!

  2. Aaawww loved reading this Frances! Cheers to all supermoms!! :)

  3. Love love love this! Totally owning my super powers and supermomhood. Every day when I see my kids, they are both my kryptonite and my superpower, my reason to be super! I can totally relate with finding the time to shower or work or even go to the toilet, haha!

  4. "Your love for your babies is your superpower." Yes, indeed! They are the reason why we overcome all the pressures and challenges of motherhood.

    High Five to all Supermoms!!! :)

  5. Hi Frances. This post really resonated with me. Because it's true. And I think all moms will agree with you. Sadly though, as a working mom, I still encounter some discrimination from stay at home moms which I find really frustrating and sad. It's like being a working mom makes you an inferior one just because you don't do the school run everyday, or be at home when the kids get home and do their homework with them. And it's sad because all our circumstances are different and as parents, we try to make the best of our individual situation. And WE are all supermoms in our own way.

    I just wish they would realize that they are sending their daughters to school to be educated and to be something -- whether that is a home maker, a doctor, or a businesswoman. And that when their daughters choose to join the workforce or the corporate world, that other women won't try to belittle their efforts as well.

    Yun lang. ha ha. didn't mean to unload. But really great piece. :)

  6. Hi Frances. WOW, I don't know why I just discovered you. I am a mom of six (yes, six!) and at 43 (yes, 43!) am preggy with the 7th. I'm going on 6th, week, that is, and I'm still reeling from this realization but enough about me! Wow, again, I read some of your posts about your Mom, your take on motherhood, your marriage, some introspections at the end of some years (coz December comes first when you click a year) and I dare say you're living the life --- of a true MOTHER of this modern age. I've a lot to say but not much time tonight so I take to bed the delight of finding your blog and all the wonderful bits I am sure I will relate to in the future. God bless and regards to your boys. (I have 5 boys and 1 girl :-D) - megsky

    1. Hi, Megsky, I'm one of Frances' readers, and just wanted to congratulate you on your pregnancy! In case it makes you feel better, I want to share that my mom got pregnant with our youngest (the 8th) when she was a few months away from turning 41 and gave birth at 41.5 years old. We're 8 siblings, 4 boys and 4 girls, with a pair of twins. My mom's now 61.5 and the bunso is now 20. :) Praying for a smooth pregnancy and delivery for you!

  7. Amen! And high-fives all around to all (super)moms!

  8. Hi Frances, I'm Megsky from the Oct. 18 comment (mom of 6 and 43yrs). My reply didn't get published, thus this "new" comment. I want to thank Katrina Villareal for the encouraging words, it helped a lot back then when the news of my preg was distressing me. I moved passed that stage and happily became excited of our coming baby. Unfortunately, we lost our baby last week and I am on a different level once again. It hurt(s) physically and emotionally but I know I will move past this yet again because I still have my family to tend to. They're the source of my "super" power. I felt sharing this here under your article would add to the message of what makes a supermom. Good day and God bless!!!

    1. Oh my. Your reply must not have gotten through. My friends tell me that that happens sometimes with their comments.

      I am sending you virtual hugs. What a terrible loss and yet you carry on. As we all do even in grief. Sending you some of my supermommy strength, too. And hugs again!

  9. awww i love blogs like this na nakaarelate ako as mother of 3 kids. That yelling moments when they are fighting, my temper at lahat ng struggles hahahha and even Sunday , no rest day and still tandem feeding. It is just amazing how i am able to survive each day.Motherhood is a wonderful journey❤ Hugs to all moms!


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