TOPAZ HORIZON

Because it's Thursday, I'm listening to old songs while I look through old photos for, you know, Throwback Thursday. Because that's what people do now when it's Thursday!

But first, another story before I get to what I'm going to really talk about.

This afternoon, while Vince and I were stuck in traffic, I wondered aloud, "I'm wondering aloud what makes men finally decide that this is the girl they're marrying. I mean, George Clooney and Amal. That's, like, of course! He'd be dumb to let that one go! But what about Vic Sotto and Pauleen Luna? I mean, she's okay but it's not like he didn't have amazing girls before her. What made him decide to marry her?"

Vince said it's really simple—a man marries the one he really loves. I said that these guys were in a relationship with other girls for years, surely they must've loved them. And he said, "No, love demands a response. If you really love someone, you marry her."

So that made me think, kinda guiltily because I never wanted to get married, why I delayed marriage to Vince when I knew—cross my heart and hope to die!—that I loved him. I did and I do, but why did I delay the response? Well, I finally admitted to myself that it's because I loved myself first. I needed to prove something to myself and to others first, that I was going to make something of myself first. Vince has always shrugged off this huge issue of mine (my insecurity in overdrive!) because he knew he was never going to hold me back from my dreams anyway—whether we were married or not. But it was an issue for me.

Still, because he loved me and wanted to marry me, he waited. I guess that's a response that love demands, too.


It didn't help that I knew he loved me. I knew it, I knew it, I knew it. Very early on, Vince knew he was going to marry me. We met on a rainy Monday in April. A month later, he asked me, "Do you want to be a June bride?" I laughed, "No," but I knew he wasn't teasing me. He was serious.

Have you ever looked into someone's eyes and saw your future in an instant? I did. I've met many boys who promised me the moon and the stars but no one promised me tomorrow. I only saw a future in Vince's eyes. He had a whole wonderful world planned for us but I wasn't ready to go into that world just weeks after meeting him. That's one of the most cowardly things I've ever done, not jumping down the rabbit hole after him. But I guess because I knew he already built that world for me, I had the luxury of time to dawdle, to get ready. I knew he wasn't going to do that for anyone else anymore, which allowed me to be selfish. It took me seven-and-a-half years to get ready, and I don't regret it and neither does he because we were practically husband-and-wife anyway in all those years. But marriage does do something to a relationship—it makes it more than love, more than happiness. It makes something fleeting and tremulous solid and real. It makes it about life and death.

Vince and I have loved each other for 17 years, been married for 9. The best years are the married years. It's not all moonbeams and roses—there have been days of thorns and harsh daylight! But even on the worst of days, I hold something dear in my heart: the promise of tomorrow. Tomorrow, we'll work this out. Tomorrow, we'll be better. Tomorrow, we'll try again. I can look forward to tomorrow. And that hope is a comfort and joy.


Which brings me back to my first sentence! Who remembers this song? I soooo loved this song and always hoped I'd find a guy that would say these things to me! And I did!!!



I did not realize that he had such a whiny voice!

Happy weekend, everyone! May you have bright tomorrows with the one you love!

I talk about loving my life so much, some people have said (jokingly, I hope) that my life is either unbelievable or fabricated. First, it's all real. Second, an amazing life can be totally believable!

A huge reason why my life is so good is because my family is always together. We're ALWAYS together! My husband and I work from home. We're with our kids 24/7. When we're not togther because we have to work outside the house maybe once or twice a week, or because Vito, my first boy, was at his little preschool in our condo complex, the hours apart are so short—just 3 hours!—we hardly felt the separation.

But this year, this week, in fact, Vito started in big school. For the first time ever, as a family, we'll be dealing with daily traffic. We've been stuck in major traffic before, sure. Maybe twice or thrice a year? Traffic just never figured in our family life really so we'll be in for major adjustments (time, financial, emotional, mental!) this year. I mean, just this week, we've already dealt with traffic twice. Na-quota na kami for the year in just 4 days!!! Malaking adjustment talaga ito.

Such a big boy na! I'm so proud!

One of the biggest sources of my anxiety now that Vito is going to big school is that Vince and I are not a few steps away from him. We've always been within running distance of our kids. Now, we're not! It's so strange!

My second son, Iñigo, is also going to school for the first time next week. He's going to the preschool downstairs so, yey!, he's just downstairs. Still, Iñigo has always been attached to me and I—I hate confessing this—I suddenly can't imagine him having a world separate from me! He's my sweetheart. All my boys are, okay, but Iñigo's always been the one clutching at my arm. Next week, he won't be clutching at me anymore, and that feels very strange. I should be relieved. Instead, I'm anxious. So I guess this is what they mean about savoring the baby days, the days when the little ones drive you crazy with their neediness, because one day they grow up and then they don't really need you anymore.

He got a "Good job!" stamp! I'm so proud!

So now that Vito and Iñigo will be away, I've done a few things to assuage my mommy fears:

1. Made them memorize important info. 
Well, I'm still working on our address and phone numbers, but the boys know their full names, their parents' names, and their birthdays. This is information they must never forget!

2. Taught them which strangers they can talk to.
I never believed in stranger danger. Statistics show that some of the most dangerous people around our children are people they already know. Also, in case of trouble, I want them to know that they can approach strangers for help.

What we've done is tell them to avoid suspicious strangers. Grown-up strangers will never ask children for help, never ask them to make them feel better, and never ask them to keep secrets. Examples: "Hey, sweetheart, my dog got trapped in my car. Can you come help me get him out?" "Hey, little boy, I have candy in my house. You can come over and I'll give you some but don't tell your mommy, okay?" "Hi there, I feel so sad. If you give me a kiss, I'll feel better."

So I've told them to approach moms with kids. Vince told them to ask help from security guards. Those are safe strangers. We also taught them to trust their gut. If their tummy tells them something isn't right, run away!

3. Packed them their own care kits.
Because there's no Mama and Papa to clean them up and kiss their boo-boos away, they'll have to take care of themselves. I made them their own care kits that have the following: wet wipes and Biogenic alcohol for cleaning their hands or chairs; tissue for wiping their mouths after eating; bandages for if they get into little scrapes; and an extra change of clothes.

4. Lovingly left our presence everywhere.
I ironed their uniforms. I sewed on the name tags and tightened buttons. I labeled their things, wrapped their books in plastic. Vince carefully picked out new shoes and socks for them. He chose their lunch boxes and drinking tumblers.

I just think that if we take care of their things and the kids feel our care, even when we're not there, they'll still feel we're around. Just like how Harry Potter's mommy covered her son with her love, which protected him till Harry grew up!

5. Given them to God.
Well, despite my fictional example, only one Being can cover my kids with protection. So I pray to God to watch over my sons, to keep them from harm (Psalm 121:7), to hide them in the shadow of His wings (Psalm 57:1), to always provide a way out (I Corinthians 10:13), and to strengthen, help and uphold them (Isaiah 41:10). There are so many verses in the Bible promising protection over those that God loves and this I am sure of—God loves my children more than I could ever love them. So my fears are put to rest, I will trust in God's protection, and I will enjoy my children's new adventure!

Vito's school requires a portable care kit in a plastic envelope. Iñigo's school says we can leave his Avengers kit there.

There you go, mommies and daddies! My five steps to helping me deal with separation anxiety! It's really difficult to be away from our kids, and for me and Vince especially because we don't even have a yaya. We've always been the ones taking care of our kids. Now, suddenly, we have to entrust them to the world. It's so scary! Thank goodness we can rely on good people (like teachers, other moms, and security guards), good products (like Biogenic alcohol!), and a good God to keep our kids protected from harm.

To know more about how Biogenic helps us mommies keep our kids safe even though we're not around, like their Facebook page, Official Biogenic Alcohol. You can also follow them on Instagram at @Biogenic_Alcohol and hashtags #BiogenicAlcohol, #MyBiogenicWorld and #BiogenicBack2School.

But first, a confession: I had no idea that ToyCon was a big deal in this country. I'm not a toys kinda girl so it just was never in my radar. But my husband is a toys geek and a few weeks ago, he brought it up. ToyCon. He was wondering if he and our sons should check it out. Yes, my sons are toy geeks, too. We discussed it a bit, then I forgot about it because diba nga I'm not really a toy person. But I am a Game of Thrones fan so when Vince said, "Hodor will be at ToyCon!", I was so in!

We're going to ToyCon, people!

Superheroes ready to go to #SmartTOYCON 2016!

But first, pizza. Because even superheroes need super fuel. See you at #SmartTOYCON!