Friday, July 13, 2012

Just a thought on girls and their need for bad boys

Over at Topaz Mommy, I'm holding a contest. Yep, I'm giving away copies of Fifty Shades of Grey. Hop on over there to get a chance to win a book!

Anyway, I was reading the contest entries, all of which talked about their favorite romantic hero of fiction. It just occurred to me that, based on the answers and how we all seem to love guys from Rhett Butler (Gone With the Wind), Heathcliff (Wuthering Heights), Maxim DeWinter (Rebecca) to Edward Cullen (Twilight), we girls seem to want men who are much older, very rich, have deadly secrets and, most disturbing of all, cruel. Cruel!

Tell me, did you actually end up with a bad boy?

I used to date bad boys but that got old soon (not soon enough sadly). I finally decided I needed respect. Gosh, not even love, just plain and simple respect. Someone who will treat me with kindness and affection, generosity and trust. That's not too much to ask since I can give that and if I can, a man can. So what is this obsession of ours with bad boys?

I should be able to answer that since I did go out with their kind many many seasons ago. But, to be honest, I really don't know. Do you?


  1. i will be joining that contest but i just wanna comment on this...

    bad boys...hahaha!

    it's the thrill of being dominated,me thinks.
    there's such a strong appeal to see a guy acting all manly & macho that i guess brings out the feminine side on us much more... i'm just speaking theoretically. it's not that i want a man who will really manhandle me anytime he wants to!

    just like what u said, its better to have a partner that respects & loves you.
    though,i have to admit that there would be sometime that i want my bf to be the domineering kind...kahit once lang.

    1. But we can get a guy naman who is mabait and then pag dating sa kama, domineering =D

    2. ahahaha!
      oo naman no!
      love the concept!

      i guess having someone that is too kind & understanding would sometimes make a person wonder how it is to have the complete opposite for a change. i had an ex that's so...uhhh...ill use manly na lang... & it just made me feel like im walking on eggs everytime we're together. gah!been there done that.

  2. Frances, I had to comment here!!!

    God! Back when I was still single, I couldn't understand why I kept falling for bad boys. Eh may mga good boys naman na nagkakagusto sa akin then. Sila yung tipong salbahe talaga and who really took advantage of the fact that you love and care for them. Eto yung mga assuming that you will understand them all the time even if nangangaliwa na sila. NAKAKALOKA.

    Good thing I got over that and married somebody who looks like a bad boy outside (bad boy pa din eh no?) but is such a sweetheart inside =)

    1. Amen, Fleur. Amen! Malaking pasalamat talaga sa Diyos at niligtas Niya tayo sa ating kalokohan! =D

  3. There's something about bad boys... The thought about them being bad and going all Incredible Hulk on people who try to harm "helpless" little girls like us, especially towards other men who tend to be rude. I lilly lilly like it!

    And of course in bed... Hmmm... :)

  4. i guess because some girls have this fantasy in their heads that they can tame the bad boy. a girl friend said maybe it's our "mothering" nature.

    but for me, i think it's because bad boys have such sexy appeal! we like our men rough looking i guess ;)i haven't had any share of bad boys (relationships at least), my template is boy-next-door-type ala John Lloyd. But I did have crushes on bad boys and it's because they look so tough,manly and that's such an attractive trait for me.

  5. Some sense of mothering (HAHA!) or maybe the hope that someone will change for us. I am tired of bad boys already. I want someone kind. That's all I ask :)

    PS: Happy that you are with one :)

    Miss you, F!

  6. Thanks for this post Frances.

    TBH I had to stop reading Fifty Shades because (aside from the writing quality) some of the Christian Grey dialogue reminded me too much of this bad relationship I was in way way before. Yung panay "I can't do anything about it, I'm really screwed up, take me or leave me...No don't leave me, I love you, no one's ever treated me this way before...But don't think you can change me...OK I'll try a little for you..." Parang cha-cha and you think you're getting somewhere, "helping" this person and you become afraid to leave them dahil laging merong "ikaw lang nakakaintindi sa akin" chuva. It's so manipulative and exhausting. This bad relationship guy pa I was involved in may mga veiled suicide hints so sobrang guilty ako na iwanan siya. When I finally did it, to my great peace of mind, well buhay pa siya! Manipulative talaga siya. Pareho na kaming may pamilya ngayon and (I hope for his case too) happily married.

    Anyway, sa totoo lang I'm a little disturbed by the reactions to Christian Grey that I'm seeing from my FB friends, na parang he's this great romantic hero! Well I guess some women like the domination thing? But I hope they can also understand there's a consensual, positive way of doing that kind of relationship that doesn't involve manipulating the woman you are with.


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