Thursday, March 10, 2022

Why do people hate her?

At lunch yesterday, Liz Lanuzo of Project Vanity said she can't understand why people are so angry at the woman in the photo below.

(I edited this blog post to remove her name and will replace it with MM because anyone defending this woman gets so much hate! And I don't want that shit on my blog or in my headspace. So if you know who she is, you know her name. If you don't know her, that's okay!) 

Here is my explanation, which I wrote on Facebook but decided to put here instead because Facebook instantly flags as racist and hate speech many of the words in my explanation below (and that tells you all you need to know about the people who hate MM!):

Reasons why people hate MM

1. She and Prince H are in an equal and loving marriage and people don't like that. A woman who is respected by her husband, who doesn't know her place, a woman who has her own voice (vs the husband speaking for her), and her own money "diminishes" the man.

They also can't believe H would choose his wife over his original family. 🙄🙄🙄 So they think MM is making H her puppet simply because he loves her. 

2. People think that MM is not worthy to belong to the upper crust of society. She's a foreigner, not an aristocrat, a woman who works, a divorcee, and - shocker! - a Black woman. In imperial UK, they see MM as a descendant of slaves. They think she pollutes the blue blood of the royal family. 

3. Despite being "unqualified" to marry a prince, MM did marry into that family and, unlike her middle-class sister-in-law Kate who kept her head down in acknowledgement of her unworthiness, MM spoke out, fought back, and left. To their eyes, she was ungrateful.

4. And last and worst of all, you never go against the family. You never reveal the secrets. You never cut off the relationship. You always respect and obey your parents, even when you're already married. No matter how much they abuse you, you're supposed to take it (as a sign of loyalty) and be quiet (as a sign of gratitude). Any protest, every negative story is automatically labeled as a lie. H and MM did the unforgivable by setting boundaries and when those were crossed, they left. 

And that's why people hate MM. She is a powerful, intelligent, rich woman who will not tolerate bullshit, who will not be silent when abused, who will fight back, who is happy, and - worst of all - she has a husband who loves her. The love and loyalty of a man (and a beloved prince, too!) validate and legitimize her existence and her decisions. To society, women like MM are a threat to old traditional values. And that's why they hate her.

Aaaaand that's how I know hindi pa tapos ang laban para sa mga babae! Silence always helps the abuser (families are the worst abusers of all). Discrimination and biases are still working against women, even if those women are our very own mothers, sisters, wives, and daughters. Sarili kong magulang kept putting me down kasi "babae ka lang, wag kang mayabang, wag kang ambisyosa."

Stop this! Women are people, too. We deserve love and respect, too. I have it now from my husband and sons, all of them feminists I am so proud to say. They are so secure and confident in their masculinity that a strong woman in their midst is not a threat at all. 

We need to change the world, people. A world that values women will be a better world not just for women, but for all of us - yes, even men and families everywhere, too ❤️❤️❤️

One day, I truly hope we no longer need an International Women's Day because honoring, respecting, and appreciating women will be so commonplace that we do it every day. Till then, HAPPY WOMEN'S MONTH! 

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