TOPAZ HORIZON

I take a break from all the bag promoting (shop here!) to talk about a serious matter: marriage and babies.

On my mommy blog, I wrote a post about the new power I feel now as a mother, and it's resonated with a lot of women, both mothers and single ladies. But I got a bit alarmed when I started getting emails from girls saying that because of my blog post, they've decided to get married and/or have babies because they feel so powerless and empty.

Kids, don't do it. I love being married and I love being a mom but it's not a joke taking care of people. It's a job that needs all the love you can give, every day of your life for as long as you live (thanks, Sound of Music!). If you're empty and aimless now, what can you possibly give to other people, especially children who need to be nurtured and guided 24/7?

Go out, have fun, make friends, make love (just don't get sick or pregnant!), try different jobs, live for yourself! Find the meaning of life, your purpose. Find God. Find yourself. Your teens and twenties are designed to be wild and free and kinda weird. Live it. Live for yourself because sooner than you think, your life will be about others and you don't want to feel like you missed out.

I think there's nothing wrong with being selfish. Especially when you're young and have no responsibilities. I think selfishness is a good thing for young people. It allows you to find yourself, to do what you want, to live the way you want and pursue happiness without feeling the burden of guilt and responsibility.

Imagine, for example, wanting to be a musician and being very talented, too, but your parents tell you to be a computer programmer so that you'll have job security and help the family out financially. (This thinking should stop. I am never going to ask my child to help us out. Parents, stop treating your kids like money-making machines. Be responsible for your own future!) So you give up your dreams, your purpose, your life so that you can help other people. It's very noble but it sounds like a path to despair.

My mother wanted me to work for Meralco, where she worked all her life. Meralco has (or had?) great benefits for their employees--a really amazing compensation package. Naturally, when I decided at 8 years old that I wanted to be a writer, she became upset. My father wanted me to be a statistician and work in an insurance company. Again, job security. Writing as a career was just preposterous and they both did their best to discourage me. I fought back. I obeyed them for most everything except my career choice (and my boyfriend choice, although for the latter, maybe I really oughta have taken their advice!).

Anyway, I once overheard my mother talking to her friend. "What's your daughter taking in college?" Mama shrugged, "Creative Writing. I don't know what it is and what will happen to her. But it's okay, I guess, since she's a girl and she'll just marry someone and be a housewife. I'm very disappointed really."

I confronted Mama about that and she insisted that if I cared about the family, I'd take up something more reasonable. I still didn't. I cared about my family, sure, but I also cared about me! My parents said writing will never be financially rewarding, that I'll starve. I didn't care. I decided that if I'm going to have a hard life, I might as well do something I love. I was young and selfish. This is what I want and no one is going to stop me. Years later, I turned out to be the one who helped (and is still helping) the family financially. I've made a career of surpassing low expectations.

What I'm saying, dear young ladies, is if you're empty and confused now, a man or a baby won't make you feel better. As Princess Diana said, "People think that at the end of the day, a man is the only answer. Actually, a fulfilling job is better for me." True! Find your purpose and do it well--whether it's a job or promoting a good cause or cooking or whatever. You need to have a life before you have marriage and kids. Don't commit to anything as serious as marriage and children unless you're ready to give up yourself. And love demands complete surrender. I still have a hard time doing that actually!

Now go and push away all thoughts of weddings and babies from your heads. Fill your hearts instead with love and friendship and fun! Have a good life!

This is the new handmade leather bag of Fleur of Mommy Fleur.

I love how the photo shows her life: organized chaos and style! Yep, organizer to the left, toys to the right, and in the middle of it all--my bag! Fleur is my mommy blogger friend. She's one of the funniest, most real people ever. We finally met a few weeks ago at Philippine Fashion Week. Read the fun story here! You have to read it so that if you ever meet me, you'd know it's safe to approach hahaha.

Anyway, her review summary:
1. The smell of genuine leather is love!
I love that smell myself. Kinda overwhelming, though, when all the bags are delivered and my entire living room smells like a pet shop haha.
2. The strap is long enough so that she can carry it across her body, freeing her hands.
And when you're a busy lady--mommy or not--that's very important!
3. The neutral tan color is perfect.
Matches absolutely everything in your closet!
4. The magnetic snaps makes life easier!
And don't we all need things like that?
5. She loves the many pockets.
I love that, too!
6. Considering it's made entirely of leather, it's affordable.
Yes, it's absolutely affordable!

Thanks, Fleur! May utang pa ako sa iyo!

Aileen of Travel.Food.Finds. totally loves her new satchel!

Her review summary:
1. Ordering was simple and easy.
That's because I like things to be simple and easy. I'm nice, too!
2. Real leather!
Yep, the entire bag is made of real Pinoy cow hide.
3. Impeccable workmanship.
Thanks to the expert hands of Uncle Buck of Batangas!
4. She loves the many pockets!
Because I love pockets, too!

Thanks, Aileen, for liking the bag and saying I'm "super nice." And may I say again: Such gorgeous photos of the bag! Even I wanted to buy it, totally forgetting I sell it!