Friday, September 30, 2016

Ask Frances: How should I use my inheritance?


"Ask Frances" is a monthly blog series where I will answer questions from my readers. The chosen question will receive a prize. This month's prize is the Avon Anew Retroactive line because our letter sender is a bride.


The Anew Retroactive products are the latest innovation in Avon's multi-awarded anti-aging skincare brand. It repairs visible and invisible damage with its patented Focus Repair Technology that uses the power of ocean pearls. It also prevents future damage with its antioxidant ingredient that provides up to eight times skin protection. You can see results in just seven days!

Anew Retroactive Youth Extending Cleanser, P399 for 125g; Anew Retroctive Youth Extending Toner, P399 for 100ml; Anew Retroctive Youth Extending Day Cream SPF 20/PA++, P699 for 50g; Anew Retroctive Youth Extending Night Cream, P699 for 50g

Our question this month is very long and detailed so please read carefully. I feel ill-equipped to answer her question so if you have better advice (preferably legal advice!), please leave your advice in the comments. Thanks! Anyway, here is our question...

When my Dad died years ago, he left us, his children, some money and some properties. He and my mom were not married. The money were in accounts under our names, but the properties were either named after our relatives or still after the owners he bought them from.

Three of the properties were left to me. One is the family home, still named after my aunt who owned the lot, and my Dad bought it from her. Another is a condo named after my cousin, but that project didn't push through at dahil fully paid na, until now we're still waiting for the kapalit. The third one is a former preschool na dilapidated na ngayon, still named under the original owners kahit nabili na ng Dad ko. The owners are both dead and I don't think the kids are aware the property is still under their parents' names. 

The titles were with my mom because I was still young when my Dad died. Through the years, my mom blew through my inheritance and developed a gambling problem. Ang ending sinanla niya yung titles for the family home and the preschool. Matagal na rin di nababayaran yung amilyar (10 years). 

My relatives are telling me sayang yung mga property kung mapupunta lang dun sa mga pinagsanlaan since they could easily hire someone to fix the titles and change it to their names. I can pay the taxes and penalties, and have the properties developed and rented out later on. Yun talaga ang gusto kong mangyari. Plus the thought that My Dad worked hard for those properties. 

Now this is my dilemma. I still have some money left from my inheritance. But I'm going to use some of it for my upcoming wedding, and it's in a mutual fund that's earning a good dividend. Nanghihinayang ako to withdraw a huge sum from it para lang pambayad ng penalties na hindi naman ako ang may gawa (my mom should've paid them). I also have to spend to transfer the titles under my name. Tapos wala rin akong funds to destroy the structure in the preschool at magpatayo ng apartments, and improve on the family home that's long been abandoned. So di ko rin mababawi agad yung pera. Wala rin akong mahiraman from my relatives, I won't qualify for loans because I don't have a regular job now, and wala rin ganun kalaking halaga si fiancé. 

I've made a lot of bad financial decisions in the past and I'm scared of making one again.  

But if I don't do it, mawawala naman ang properties na iniwan ng Dad ko. 

What should I do? :( 

R.P.

Dear R.P., 

You have to do the math. You only have X amount and you need Y amount to pay for the transfer of titles, pay penalties, and renovate the school. Plus, you need Z amount for your wedding. The math will tell you if you can do everything you want, but I think you already know that you can't do all of the above.

I don't know the legalities of the issue but it sure sounds like you have a complicated case. Please consult a lawyer as soon as you can. Or do I have a reader who can advise R.P. about her case? Please help us!

Anyway, what I observe are these:
  • You have not needed those properties all these years so this isn't an urgent issue. If you've waited for so long, what's a few more years?
  • Your relatives are the ones making you kulit about the issue. Why? I'm concerned that you said, "They could easily hire someone to fix the titles and change it to THEIR names." Why their names? Why not yours kung sa iyo naman yung mga ari-arian? 
You know, I may not have smart advice because I'm not aware of the laws on inheritance and properties, but I'll say something anyway (because you asked!) and this is driven by sentimental reasons.

You're getting married. You don't have your daddy to walk you down that aisle but you do have his generous provision. He provided well for you and I'm sure he would have loved the thought that he helped pay for your wedding. Every good father would be proud to say that he paid for his daughter's wedding. Your father still has that ability! So I think you should invest in your wedding. You don't have to use all of the money. No need to be extravagant; you want to stretch that money out for as long as you can. But it's a nice sentiment to know that your father helped with your wedding even though he's no longer around. It would be like he's still around, right?

As for the properties, you'll make a better decision about those after you've talked with a lawyer, and when you have all the money to do what needs to be done. Till then, there's really nothing to do but get married! 

I hope you use the Avon Anew, R.P.! Don't let the stress of real estate, inheritance, and wedding preps dull your glow. Now, email me your address so I can send you your prize.

Avon Anew Retroactive is exclusively available through Avon representatives. Visit www.avon.ph. Like Avon Philippines on Facebook. Download the Avon Brochure app from Google Play or App Store.

* * * * * * *

If you have a question for me, send an email to frances@topazhorizon.com with "Ask Frances" on the subject.

Thursday, September 29, 2016

Where do mommies go walking?

Everywhere! Especially me because I have three little boys and tons of errands. With the terrible traffic, I don't like using our car. I commute and walk, even run, everywhere. That's why I've ditched my heels a long time ago for comfy but chic footwear. Any moms here traded in their six-inch heels for flats and sneakers? High five, right? Haha.
I chose Skechers because they're the No. 1 sneakers brand in the U.S.

So where do you go walking? I walk around the city a lot. I may not be visiting the gym lately but I feel like all the walking I do helps keep me trim. Here's a peek at where I've been walking around this week:

Going out with the family. I'm learning how to wear color on my feet again. My husband, Vince, says that because most of my clothes are either black or white, I should have more fun with my shoes and bags. So I'm trying it out with my new purple Skechers GOwalk! I love the material and the print—almost like a Missoni print!

Shopping. Oooh, I love wearing my Skechers GOwalk when we shop. It's so lightweight that my feet never feel tired or painful even after hours of walking around the mall and chasing after little boys!

Fetching kids from school. Because the traffic jams are horrible around my son's school, I usually tell Vince to drop me off a block or two from the school gate and then I just walk to school. Many days, when the traffic is especially bad and we're late, I make a mad dash! Never a problem because my sneakers have these things called Goga Pillars that make me bounce with every step.

Running errands for work and home. I'm a working mommy so I'm always out and about, paying bills, doing the grocery, bringing my kids to the pedia, attending meetings and events, collecting checks. I seriously wish I had an assistant who can do all these things for me! Since I don't, I'm just grateful that I have comfortable shoes to carry me through the day. I love the Goga Mat insoles of my Skechers GOwalk because I feel like I'm walking on pillows all day long.

My latest GOwalk shoes (yes, this is my second pair!) are purple. Like I said, I'm learning to wear color on my feet again. My kids picked them out for me. I usually pick just neutrals for my footwear but my husband teased me about that, you know, like how I should add more color to my mommy life. Because all I wear now is really black, white and gray! And navy. And red. Well, there you go—I still wear color!

The Skechers GOwalk collection comes in many colors. And in many styles for men and women, too, like slip-ons, lace-ups and sandals! Check them out:

You can check out Skechers GOwalk at Glorietta 2, TriNoma, Ayala Fairview Terraces, SM North Edsa, The Annex, SM Mall of Asia, Robinsons Galleria, Robinsons Place Manila, Gateway Mall, Lucky Chinatown, Market! Market!, Alabang Town Center, Festival Mall, SM Fairview, SM Dasmariñas, Paseo Sta. Rosa, Ermita, Ayala Center Cebu, Marquee Mall, SM Pampanga, SM Bacolod, SM Clark, SM Davao, SM City Cebu, SM Seaside Cebu, Centrio Mall CDO, and LimKetKai Mall CDO.

To learn more about Skechers, visit their Facebook page and follow @SkechersPH on Twitter and Instagram.

Thursday, September 22, 2016

The end of Brangelina and how it's made me think of marriage

I should be blogging about our recent staycation at the beautiful and wonderful Ascott Makati. And I should be blogging about my cooking and mealtime and dining tips because of my blog sponsor, Jolly. And I should be getting my Ask Frances post up and ready for publishing tomorrow... but I'm not. I can't. Because Angelina and Brad are no more!!!

To most of you who have been following this blog, you'd know that in my past life, I was the editor-in-chief of OK! magazine. My stint in OK! began during the wildest days of Hollywood—Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey's reality TV marriage, Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes's whirlwind romance, and the never-ending Brad Pitt-Angelina Jolie-Jen Aniston saga. My goodness. Some of the very best days in my life!

So I just can't remove myself from all the gossip sites this week because Angelina just divorced Brad! And in the most ruthless and shocking way, too—just like what Katie did to Tom.

If Angelina does it like Katie, Brad will never see those kids again (Although he'll fight for custody, says TMZ). Yes, didn't you know? Katie annihilated Tom in such blitzkrieg fashion that he agreed to all her terms of the divorce within a few weeks and now he hasn't seen Suri in years. Years. His only biological daughter. And we used to say Katie was a brainless zombie.


I'm pretty sure Angelina will demolish Brad, too. She's doing it now in the media. Master manipulator Angelina Jolie is one of the very few who came out of a lurid affair splashed all over the tabloids as a saint. Remember her moniker in the height of her mistress days? Santa Angelina. However does a mistress become a Santa Angelina??? Easy. Befriend media, send gifts, always be available for calls and clarifications, but always have a story about your charity, UN work, movie work, dying/dead mother, and beautiful kids. Change the story. I know this because I was in the thick of it in an international OK! conference, where the editors of the other OK! franchises were stunned at how Angelina always made the story about her goodness, not about the affair. And all those millions upon millions she and Brad made whenever they got pregnant, gave birth, and adopted! Brilliant!

I don't hate Angelina, okay (even though I'm Team Aniston all the way!). I have utmost respect for her. In fact, I think of her whenever Taylor Swift flounders about controlling her image. I always think, "Learn from Angelina, Tay!" The only person I can think of these days who is master at manipulating media, controlling her image, and milking said image for millions of dollars is Kim Kardashian West.

And Angelina's doing it now again. She released news of her divorce on a Tuesday, so all the print media have gone to bed and now can't really come out with the story till next week. So again she gets to control the narrative. Brad is left reeling and angry, upset that her wanting to have sole physical custody and then insinuating that Brad has a nasty temper and uses drugs implies to all that he is a danger to their kids. Wow! What a nasty reason to end a marriage, if true! And no, it's not because he allegedly cheated on her (not true at all!), but it's fascinating that the cheating news came out almost exactly the same time Angelina allowed TMZ to break news of her divorce. Hmmm.

It's getting ugly. And that makes me sad. There are kids involved. Six beautiful kids. And didn't this story start in such a—er, breaking up the Aniston-Pitt marriage aside—didn't this love story start in such a beautiful way? Two gorgeous and sexy people meet and fall in love, do charity work together, and raise a family together, while traveling the world as possibly the coolest family ever.

Woah. All this Brangelina news is seriously giving me intense Throwback Thursday feels. It's also making me terribly sad because while I wasn't a fan, those kids and their obvious affection won me over. I love a love story. Don't you?

My takeaway from this (and from every Hollywood divorce) is this: Don't forget your love story, don't forget why you fell in love in the first place (the past), don't forget the plans you made together (the future). Marriage is hard. I know. I'm married! Vince and I have gone through struggles. We're changing, our life is changing. It's so easy to drift apart. That's why you have to commit every day. Sometimes, I refuse to commit. That's when I complain, I bitch, I refuse to serve him. Sometimes he doesn't commit by doing the same thing. It happens. No one's perfect! But when we both fail to commit every day for days and days, then that's when real trouble sets in. And we have to guard our marriage against that. Let's make a stand to protect our marriages!