Tuesday, February 13, 2018

Checking in!

Hallooo halloooo! I know I've been away. Now that my kids are older and the first two boys are in big school and the youngest has weaned and can mostly be left to his own devices, I have found the most incredible and most wonderful amazing thing: I CAN READ BOOKS AGAIN!

I'm so happy!

That means I've neglected the blog, though. I've tried being more active on the Topaz Horizon Blog Facebook page and thanks so much for making it a fun community. I love how we can all chat together on Facebook.

So anyway! I didn't notice it but it seems I've really been enjoying the past year. Without me realizing it, I finally found time last year to shower for more than 5 minutes, to eat without rushing, to pee without the door open, to poop without panicking. I now have time to do my skin care morning and night (a huge reason for my improved skin condition, if I may say so myself!). I can even exercise a little! And in the last few months, I found that I even now have time to read! I read four of the Dark Tower novels in a month and I'm finishing the fifth—the conclusion of Stephen King's magnum opus! —this week. I am having a lovely time just drowning in words. It's been such a lovely reunion!

These are Books 3-7. Been in bed with my books! So happy!
Let me share some of my favorite quotes:

"Dead was the gift that kept on giving. Dead, like diamonds, was forever."

 "In the Land of Memory, the time is always now."

 "She understands how being afraid all the time makes one's friends more precious; how it makes every bite of every meal sweet; how it stretches time until every day seems to last forever, leading on to velvet night..."

 "'If'... [is] the only word a thousand letters long."

 "Head clear. Mouth shut. See much. Say little."

 "Never whisper for the wind unless you want it to blow."

There's more. So much more! As you can see from the quotes above, the Dark Tower novels are not happy stories. I am grieving now actually and I haven't even finished it. So much death and horror! So much love and duty, too.

I was actually planning on NOT blogging this month. What time I find after family, work, and the chores, I want to spend with my nose in a novel. But I had promised myself to blog every Monday and Thursday so I have blog posts my Loyal Readers can comment on because I have my Commenter of the Month giveaway. Must not neglect that!

Speaking of skin care, I also just took photos of new skin care products you might like to try out this year (maybe I should give one of the sets away to my February Commenter of the Month!). I'm also finally finishing my birthday post—yes, my birthday was 2 months ago hehe but I haven't finished the post yet. Too many things to be thankful for! I also want to share with you my thoughts on the #MeToo movement and how we, as mothers, should be propelled by it to make sure we raise girls and boys who will be respectful of each other, not abusive. Things like that!

Anyway. I know there are tons of amazing, entertaining and gorgeous mommy blogs out there. So happy to see so many moms are sharing about their lives. (I'll tell you my favorite ones soon! Would you like that?) I just wanted to say that even though there are many other better mom blogs, you still stick around and that moves me. Thank you!

Okay, I'll come back tomorrow with a guest post on weddings. Because it's Valentine's Day and we should have a post about love! Meanwhile, I hope you all have a great day and a wonderful week doing what you love, whether it's watching your favorite Netflix show or reading your beloved books.

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Monday, February 05, 2018

Why mommy blogs have a short life span (also how Kylie Jenner's pregnancy inspired me!)


Business mogul Kylie Jenner finally announced she gave birth to a baby girl, confirming pregnancy rumors. She said she wanted the whole experience to be private while she was going through it, and she apologized for keeping it private when she'd always been so public about her life.

While I don't think she should be sorry, I totally understand why she apologized to her fans. Yes, it's her life, her pregnancy, her decisions. Hindi naman kailangan lahat i-reveal. I feel like because she saw her older sisters so publicly pregnant and she witnessed all the hate with the love, it's so understandable that she'd keep her own pregnancy to herself. What do you think, mamas?

Kayo, how did you feel about your pregnancies? Super public every day ba ang updates?  Or immediate family lang ang may alam? Why was that so?

Me, my first two pregnancies talagang super share ako with everything. But my third one, hindi na masyado. By then kasi alam ko na that when you put yourself out there, maraming unwanted comments. Like, nagpost ka ng may hawak ka na Coke and someone will comment, "Mommy, linalason mo na yung baby mo." Or may photo ako na kasama yung first two kids ko and may magsasabi ng "Grabe you're pregnant every year do you even care about your carbon footprint?!" So nakakawalang gana mag-share, you know? In fact, that's one of the major reasons I turned my blog from a mommy journal documenting my motherhood journey and my kids' lives to a working mom's blog so I can talk about career and home, and my kids can have their privacy. Yes, all photos and stories shared now are with my boys' permission. And most of the time they say no. Kaya kung napansin niyo, parang naging beauty blog na ang Topaz Horizon haha

But if you notice other mom bloggers, they also evolve. Or kill their blogs entirely. From mom blogs, nagiging cooking blogs or DIY home stuff or kiddie arts and crafts ideas, or they evolve to brands selling products for moms, kids and the home (my dream!). Kasi when the kids start having a sense of social media and privacy, the moms will have then realized they can't just blog/IG about their kids anymore. There are security reasons to consider, too. I have never said where my kids go to school, for example, although people have guessed. Also, many schools discourage a social media presence for their students so paano na mga mom-and-me OOTDs??? So, if you're a mom blogger with babies, know that your blog has maybe 5 years. Unless you keep making babies and grabe na yun hahahahahaha

But anyway, balik sa topic of my third pregnancy. I want to acknowledge that I had many blog readers who also sent me messages asking why I wasn't so generous about sharing my third baby. They said they're so happy for me, they love my third baby also, that they're disappointed wala masyadong updates or pictures. So to you, I'm so sorry that I kept my Piero all to myself and yet thanks so much for the love!

Naaaaaaks, na-inspire talaga ako kay Kylie! Actually, I just recalled that time when I also didn't want to talk about my third baby but kinda had to because I had sponsors or because readers asked. So sobrang bilib ako kay Kylie because she put her foot down. She decided that in this special case, her sponsors, her family's reality show, and her fans didn't matter. Her privacy and her baby did. And in this age of super public motherhood, that's amazing. I am truly inspired!

Check out Kylie's pregnancy video:

What I loved:

Kendall telling Kylie to pose better.
1. I love it that the video doesn't allow ads or comments. As I type, it's already at 19,900,000+ views. In 10 hours! If she had allowed ads, she'd have earned a lot na. But she didn't allow it. RESPECT! 

Mama Kylie showing off her bump and her bling.
2. I loved how she's so sure and calm about everything. She's 20 years old, yes, but if you're 20 and have a business worth USD 420 million - your own business, not inherited or married to - then you are more mature than most 20-year-old kids. 

Kylie with her nieces and siblings.
3. I loved how her family is so supportive. Her mom, Kris Jenner, was absolutely certain Kylie would be the best mom ever. Kim K gently and humorously wanted to warn her about what will happen to her vagina (such a sisterly thing!). Khloe was excited she and Kylie were pregnant at the same time. Aww, makes me wish I was surrounded by pregnant family and friends when I was also preggy (I didn't because I got married late and had kids even later while my friends had kids in their late teens and early 20s). It just seems such a womanly tribal thing. I never had that!

With her friends at her baby shower.
4. I loved how she celebrated her pregnancy with her friends, with lots of food, with parties—she's just so obviously happy! And then when it mattered, she didn't reveal anything—we didn't see her giving birth, we just heard it. We still don't know her baby's name. And we never heard anything from her, her man, her family or her friends when she was pregnant—all 9 months of it and even on the day she gave birth. Nothing. I love how she's so in control of everything. 

Kylie and baby daddy Travis Scott at the doctor's clinic.
5. I loved all the hospital scenes haha The ultrasound, the heartbeat, the family all around her at her prenatal check-ups and when she gave birth (I didn't have that huhu). I seriously cried when I heard her baby's first cry. Brought me back to my own birthing and how giving birth trumps all experiences. Nothing, absolutely NOTHING, comes close to that amazing experience. And I'm so lucky I got to go through it three times.

Congratulations, Kylie! You'll be an amazing mama! And a working mama, too! 

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Saturday, January 20, 2018

Questions to ask yourself before deciding on a career change

When a new year dawns, most of us think of making changes. One of those changes probably involve a career shift. I know this because I've been seeing resolutions on my Facebook friends' updates and many of them talk about starting a business or hoping to work abroad or even to work from home.

This is understandable. I think that when faced daily with the terrible Manila traffic, the worsening political climate, and the changes caused by technology, people are wondering, "What's my next move?" To me especially and to people like me who are from media (print and online), we're always dreading if this is the year we go hungry. 

If you are not getting enough job satisfaction or recognition, or you are worried that your company or entire industry is going to disappear in a few years’ time, you might want to change before it is too late. That's what I did years ago when magazines started dying off—I focused more on my blog even before my own title was killed. That way, when the magazine shuttered, I had actually already started another career online and so I wasn't so annihilated. 

No matter if you want to start a new career, or a business, it is important that you complete a reality check, and you are aware of the risks and challenges ahead. Find out more about what you should be asking yourself before making a final decision.

1. Are you ready to learn?
To enter a new work environment coming from a different industry, you are likely to have to complete some kind of training. No matter if your new job doesn’t require a degree, you will still need to learn. For me back in 2010, when I decided to focus on blogging, I did a ton of research on how other successful bloggers were doing it. I read up on all the blogging tips I could find. I asked established bloggers for their secrets—not all were helpful haha that's why I promised myself I'll always give blogging tips and do blogging workshops!

Now, if you're looking for another career that's not blogging, that's okay. Maybe you can ask your company if they offer on-the-job training and say you're expanding your skills set. You can also check out if your company (or another company!) will pay for your education in case you want to get extra training or a master's degree. Some people who want to go abroad train for an entirely new career altogether. I know nurses are paid well in the US, for example. Getting a family nurse practitioner degree can take a few years, but will pay off long term. You will, however, need to be committed to studying new subjects you are not familiar with. 

2. Can you afford a new career? 
If you need a degree or accredited qualification to do a new job, you need to find out two important things: how much it will cost, and if you can fit in learning in your current schedule. To be honest, I had thought of taking classes in marketing and public relations in the digital age. I looked at Coursera and there were lots of free classes offered. Why did I think this? Well, around two years ago, I was told that advertisers now prefer Instagram and vlogs. I'm a words person, not a visual or video person so I knew I couldn't compete. I don't want a massive following from pictures or videos. I want people to follow me because of what I write. So I thought maybe it's time to shift to a career in digital marketing. 

Here was my problem: With babies and a blogging business, I just couldn't find the time to study again. Thankfully, I was able to find my job as beauty editor at L'Oréal. I don't know if this job will be mine 20 years from now or even next year, however, so maybe I should start learning something new! 

So there: Think of the money involved in taking up a new career. If it's the same industry but in another part of the city, think of the transport costs. If you aim for a more prestigious position, will the extra hours spent in the office be worth it? Mothers find it hard to balance family and work life, so if you have small children, you might not have enough time to study, for example, not to mention the financial side of education, travel, and taking time off. If that's the case, maybe you should stay put first in your job and wait it out. 

3. What are your career chances?
Before you decide on changing your career, maybe you should read industry growth predictions, to make sure that you will have a job 10 years from now. If you're dreaming of becoming a magazine editor, I hate to break it to you but it's not going to happen anymore. A moment of silence please for magazines. 

It's not just print media that's in trouble. Some jobs are likely to disappear, due to the development of information technology and artificial intelligence. For example, the accounting of my business is currently handled by both Pinnacle Sources and Taxumo. Pinnacle does my business permit renewal and other things that involve talking to the government; Taxumo does the automatic payment of my taxes. Thing is Taxumo is adding more to their menu of services, and that means I'll let go of Pinnacle Sources in two years, maybe as early as this year. 

Some processes in different industries are going to be completed by robots, and you don’t want to end up being redundant after a few years, due to industry and technology changes. Build transferable skills, such as management, communication, languages, and so on, so you can change your career path when needed. 

So before taking a leap into another company, check the jobs currently advertised, the benefits, salaries, and career progression opportunities. You might want to have a chat with some of your friends who work in the sector and ask them about their experiences, so you don’t end up disappointed. 

4. Will you enjoy your work?
Chances are you would like to change your career because your job satisfaction level is low. You absolutely must make sure that you will enjoy your new vocation, and you will find continuous challenge and learning opportunities, as well as recognition.

If you find yourself fascinated by programmers that work behind what people see in the internet, you can enroll for courses that will enhance your logical and coding skills. This will eventually open opportunities for you as you start to find a software engineering job. 

This doesn't have to mean bigger pay, funnily enough. A lot of us moms are okay with smaller pay if it means having more time with our kids or not having to go through traffic every day, or if there are other benefits like traveling opportunities with the kids. Sometimes, we'll be happier if we start a business or leave the city and start a farm. Some of us want to do meaningful work—usually with no pay. Or maybe some of us moms will be happier if we decide to NOT work and be a housewife. No shame in that!

Good luck, mamas! Happy new year and may this be the year your career dreams come true!

*This post contains affiliate links.

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