TOPAZ HORIZON

I know everyone's talking about how the fashion choices of Kamala Harris, Jill Biden, Michelle Obama, and poet Amanda Gorman symbolized many important things in the inauguration this week. Yes, it's wonderful fashion is back in a good way. But it's the uber-chic Ralph Lauren tuxedo that First Daughter Ashley Biden wore that has me going, "Oooooh I likey!"

Check out the First Family - stylish like the previous two families before them:

Tuxes and suits aren't that odd on a woman. From the 1930s, actresses like Marlene Dietrich and Katharine Hepburn, have donned the menswear staple to challenge how women are supposed to dress. In the 60s, cool girls Bianca Jagger and Catherine Denevue wore it to show that women can be sexy and powerful in a man's world. It's supposed to be an androgynous look but by wearing something so male, the femininity is emphasized. 

Here are my favorite recent incarnations of the look:

Evan Rachel Wood

Dakota Johnson

Emma Watson

Victoria Beckham

Zendaya

Angelina Jolie

My husband and I were watching "Bridgerton" on Netflix and one of the Lady Featheringtons is hopelessly and secretly in love with one of the Lord Bridgertons. And I turn to my husband and announce, "I have no idea what unrequited love feels like."

My husband gives me his I-won't-roll-my-eyes-because-I-love-this-arrogant-woman look.

"It's true," I huff then I turn back to the TV and give my advice. "Just tell him you love him and be done with this agony. Easy!"

Now I know it isn't easy for many women. It wasn't easy during the 19th century and it's still not easy 200 years later. Goodness, despite all the progress feminism has brought us, when it comes to love, we still pine away and hopelessly wait for the men to notice us.

I've never been this way. If I like a guy, I tell him. If he doesn't like me back, then his loss! As Taylor Swift sang, "Who could ever leave me, darling? Who could stay? You could stay." And if he chooses not to, then it's just not meant to be. And it's okay, I can let it go because I tried and failed and I can't argue with facts. 

But if you never tell him how you feel, then how would you know it's not meant to be? And you're trapped in this purgatory of never knowing when this hell of uncertainty will end. Just like quarantine! I mean, you can enjoy quarantine but you don't want to be stuck in the same place forever. 

I've been told many times by friends and older people that if the girl shows interest first, men will lose respect for her. But they underestimate my intelligence. I can see when a man is taking advantage of my interest and then I lose interest because I see what he's really like after all. And isn't it great I saw the real him before I ever fell deeply in love? 

So maybe we should teach our girls to be smart so that they can see a jerk a mile away. Maybe we should teach our boys that a girl who says what she means and means what she says is admirable and be taken seriously instead of mocked. Maybe we should be teaching our children that honesty and truth are good things and that both men and women can be honest and no one should disrespect an honest person, especially when they're sharing something so delicate. And then maybe this world wouldn't be full of heartbroken people who shouldn't even be heartbroken in the first place because love is a relationship. It's not a one-sided affair, folks. When only one person is in love, that person never sees what the object of his/her affection is really like. You're not there when he's happy or sad or sick or mean. You're not in a relationship so all you ever see is the good side. You only love an image. That's not true love.

I hope my sons never know what unrequited love feels like. Yes, it's romantic. Think Severus Snape and how he loved Lily Potter so. Or Cyrano de Bergerac and how he wooed Roxane with his exquisite love letters but signed them as Christian so she ended up falling for the dumb guy. Or Julianne who was determined to steal her best friend Michael from Kimmy. Or the Little Mermaid (not the Disney one) giving up her life literally to be with a Prince who never cared for her at all. Eponine and Marcus. Gatsby and Daisy. Romantic but tragic and infinitely a waste of time. 

I tell my sons all the time, "The worst thing in the world is waste." Waste of resources, waste of talent, waste of opportunity, waste of life, waste of time. Don't waste time pining away for someone. Tell him you like him. And if he doesn't like you back, don't waste your affections on him. He doesn't deserve you. Move along. Life is short. Your heart, mind, body, and time are precious. Don't waste yourself on someone who won't love you back.

Love,

Auntie F.

Good grief, I'm 133 lbs. I know I don't look it because my face and limbs are all still slim. All my chubbiness is concentrated on my middle section so I'm kinda like a spinning top. I better be careful and not wear colorful clothes or someone might spin me around haha

I did let my body go in the second half of 2020. I was exercising and getting trim the first half of last year then I got depressed midway and it just felt so good to eat. Then even when I wasn't sad anymore, it still felt good to eat! Oops. All the food I discovered and had delivered in quarantine? was just too irresistible.

So it's now 2021. No better time to change my body! And to really keep me on track (I hope!), I looked for a few Bible verses to push me to care for my health. I've tried all the reasons - to look good in my clothes, to be fit and strong because I'm a boy mom, to be healthy for my family, there's a pandemic for goodness' sake, etc - and nothing seems to motivate me enough to stick to a healthy diet and fitness routine!

But maybe God will. I mean, this better work, right??? So here we go! 

"Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore, honor God with your bodies." I Corinthians 6:19-20

"Remember that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize. You also must run in such a way that you will win. All athletes practice strict self-control. They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize. So I run straight to the goal with purpose in every step. I am not like a boxer who misses his punches. I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should. Otherwise, I fear that after preaching to others I myself might be disqualified." I Corinthians 9:24-27

"So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." I Corinthians 10:13

"She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks." Proverbs 31:17

"But Daniel resolved not to defile himself with the royal food and wine, and he asked the chief official for permission not to defile himself this way… 'Please test your servants for ten days: Give us nothing but vegetables to eat and water to drink. Then compare our appearance with that of the young men who eat the royal food, and treat your servants in accordance with what you see.' At the end of the ten days, they looked healthier and better nourished than any of the young men who ate the royal food." Daniel 1:8, 12-13,15