Because it's Thursday, I'm listening to old songs while I look through old photos for, you know, Throwback Thursday. Because that's what people do now when it's Thursday!
But first, another story before I get to what I'm going to really talk about.
This afternoon, while Vince and I were stuck in traffic, I wondered aloud, "I'm wondering aloud what makes men finally decide that this is the girl they're marrying. I mean, George Clooney and Amal. That's, like, of course! He'd be dumb to let that one go! But what about Vic Sotto and Pauleen Luna? I mean, she's okay but it's not like he didn't have amazing girls before her. What made him decide to marry her?"
Vince said it's really simple—a man marries the one he really loves. I said that these guys were in a relationship with other girls for years, surely they must've loved them. And he said, "No, love demands a response. If you really love someone, you marry her."
So that made me think, kinda guiltily because I never wanted to get married, why I delayed marriage to Vince when I knew—cross my heart and hope to die!—that I loved him. I did and I do, but why did I delay the response? Well, I finally admitted to myself that it's because I loved myself first. I needed to prove something to myself and to others first, that I was going to make something of myself first. Vince has always shrugged off this huge issue of mine (my insecurity in overdrive!) because he knew he was never going to hold me back from my dreams anyway—whether we were married or not. But it was an issue for me.
Still, because he loved me and wanted to marry me, he waited. I guess that's a response that love demands, too.
It didn't help that I knew he loved me. I knew it, I knew it, I knew it. Very early on, Vince knew he was going to marry me. We met on a rainy Monday in April. A month later, he asked me, "Do you want to be a June bride?" I laughed, "No," but I knew he wasn't teasing me. He was serious.
Have you ever looked into someone's eyes and saw your future in an instant? I did. I've met many boys who promised me the moon and the stars but no one promised me tomorrow. I only saw a future in Vince's eyes. He had a whole wonderful world planned for us but I wasn't ready to go into that world just weeks after meeting him. That's one of the most cowardly things I've ever done, not jumping down the rabbit hole after him. But I guess because I knew he already built that world for me, I had the luxury of time to dawdle, to get ready. I knew he wasn't going to do that for anyone else anymore, which allowed me to be selfish. It took me seven-and-a-half years to get ready, and I don't regret it and neither does he because we were practically husband-and-wife anyway in all those years. But marriage does do something to a relationship—it makes it more than love, more than happiness. It makes something fleeting and tremulous solid and real. It makes it about life and death.
Vince and I have loved each other for 17 years, been married for 9. The best years are the married years. It's not all moonbeams and roses—there have been days of thorns and harsh daylight! But even on the worst of days, I hold something dear in my heart: the promise of tomorrow. Tomorrow, we'll work this out. Tomorrow, we'll be better. Tomorrow, we'll try again. I can look forward to tomorrow. And that hope is a comfort and joy.
Which brings me back to my first sentence! Who remembers this song? I soooo loved this song and always hoped I'd find a guy that would say these things to me! And I did!!!
I did not realize that he had such a whiny voice!
Happy weekend, everyone! May you have bright tomorrows with the one you love!