Sunday, November 17, 2013

Random thoughts that my pink tree pulled out of my head today

If you're a regular reader or if you follow me on Instagram, you'd know the color of my Christmas tree is a relentless and unapologetic pink.
Iñigo dazzled. 
This is a cute video of the kids pretending drinking straws were swords.
Another cute video of the boys dancing.

It's just decorated with silver balls at this point. It needs something else. Maybe turquoise or gold or emerald. Maybe ribbon? What do you think?

Now, whenever some people see my pink Christmas tree, they ask, "Do your boys mind?" This strikes me as an incredibly silly question because...

1. It's MY tree. It's not like I bought it for them and insisted on a color they didn't want.
2. A person's gender is not defined by colors. It's just pink. It doesn't threaten their boy-ness.
3. Vito's favorite color is pink so he loves the tree.

Speaking of gender, I had a random thought this afternoon while I was sitting beside my pink Christmas tree freaking out at Iñigo who was plucking silver balls and throwing them with good aim at Vito. I was wondering if I wanted a daughter. 

Another random thought followed that first random thought: At my mother's wake five years ago, a relative I've never met went up to me and said right out of the blue: "You will never ever be as beautiful as your mother. Never. My condolences." Then he walked away.

I can't decide if his condolences were because my mother was dead or because I was ugly. 

Maybe a daughter is not such a good idea after all. Because for us girls, our gender seems to always be defined by our looks, no matter what we do or accomplish. Boys seem to be free of that ridiculous baggage.

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  1. "2. A person's gender is not defined by colors. It's just pink. It doesn't threaten their boy-ness."
    -WORD! Hay nako. Lagi ako sinasabihan na "Stop buying pink things or Hello Kitty baka maging bakla anak mo!" Nakakainis lang kapag sinasabihan ako ng ganun. Takot na takot sila na maging bakla yung 3 yr old son ko. Kesyo yung uncle daw nila naging gay kasi iniipitan nila nung maliit. Hindi talaga ako naniniwala sa ganun. If ever maging gay ang anak ko, wala lang sa akin. He's my son and I will love him no matter what. Sorry sa pag rant. Wala kasi ako makausap na mommy na ganyan din ang pananaw.

    I like your tree! Haha! :D

    1. I feel you. I'm pregnant. And I have a gay uncle and people around me are telling me that if it's a boy, i shouldn't be doing this or that. Or sometimes, if I'd joke that I think my baby is gay because I can't seem to decide if I wanted a boy or girl, papagalitan ako. I was like, so what if my child turned out to be gay? Even if he's a boy or a girl, my child won't be spared of the society's scrutiny anyway. I'll just make sure I raise him/her well. Coz that's what moms are supposed to do.

    2. Yep. I really don't care what my kids will do for a living, who they'll love. All I care about is they are good people. I don't want them to be evil.

  2. I'm not sure what issue that particular relative had for actually saying that to you at your mom's wake, but I disagree with that person. You are beautiful. They say kids are always a much better versions of their parents--physically or otherwise. So I believe you are just as beautiful as your mom. :)

    I guess pink has always been associated with girlishness because in the hospital the babies are being categorized in color. And society just thought it is always the case. I just think that is unfair to all the other colors. Boys and girls can be orange, green, brown, yellow, purple, etc.

    I love your tree! It stands out just like your personality. And I so vote for you to have a daughter and I bet you'll be the best one to teach her that she can defy what the world thinks of her and be successful no matter what. Just as you are now. Go for it. I bet the boys would love to have a little sister to protect and care for. ;)

    1. Thanks! I know I look great haha but you have not seen my mother. When people see her for the first time, even those who thought I was pretty would look at me and say, "What happened to you?" Hahaha!

      Thanks for the wishes =) If I'd have a girl, I hope she's not the type who needs protecting and caring for =)

  3. It's actually foolish because by early 20th century blue are girls', while pink are boys'. That goes to show you changing historical perspectives. As for girls being burdened by standards, I think you should think of it as a blessing that they require higher standards, because women on average are smarter and more disciplined than us men. They lowered the standards for us with XY chromosomes because we don't think things as you girls do. LOL

  4. For me, you are beautiful inside and out. More beautiful points on your being so real and true and honest. I don't understand people who could utter insensitive words and walk away like it's nothing.

    1. Thanks! I didn't get offended naman by him. I was amused actually =)

    2. I can relate to people asking "Anong nangyari sayo?" after seeing my mom and brothers. I don't get offended, but it used to be very affected by my looks. Good thing my mom raised me to realize the importance of a lot of other things about me in addition to my looks. I'm happy I'm her daughter.

      Now, I also find it amusing how people just can't help pointing out how much prettier my mom is.


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