Saturday, February 18, 2023

7 reasons he’s pulling away just when things are getting serious

You’re thrilled at how things are going great with the guy you’re dating. He’s funny, thoughtful, and cute. Best of all, he seems really into you! But just when you think he might be “the one,” he becomes distant. Now you’re thinking if the reasons why he’s pulling away are your fault. (Note: Don't you ever blame yourself for his problems!)

Photo by Zhu Liang on Unsplash

Before you get worried about these reasons, take a deep breath. Maybe he’s just busy at work, tired from a trip, or spending time with family and friends. After all, he has a life, too. Remind yourself from this day and forever that people - family, friends, significant others - are allowed to have a life separate from your relationship. This is a good time for you to focus on your friends and interests. If it’s only been a few days of him acting distracted, then it’s probably nothing to worry about.

However, if he’s acting withdrawn for a week or so and he’s not telling you why or reassuring you, then you may be onto something. Here are 7 possible reasons why he’s pulling away:

1. He’s feeling rushed.

The good news is he’s realized he’s falling in love and he’s reeling from the intensity of his emotions for you. It’s all new and scary for him and he needs to slow down and take it all in. Be patient.

2. He’s scared of getting hurt.

Maybe he’s putting the brakes on because his heart’s been broken before. Be gentle and show him he can trust you.

3. He feels he doesn’t deserve you.

You’re everything he’s ever dreamed of… and he thinks someone as amazing as you might be better off with someone better than him. Okay, insecurity is a possible red flag, so reassure him of your admiration but watch out for constant low self-esteem. Believe me, you don't want to be with someone with low self-esteem.

4. He’s afraid of losing himself.

He could be wondering if he’s still the same person if he’s only doing things you like, wearing outfits you picked out, eating your favorite food, watching your favorite Koreanovela when he hates those shows, and so on. If you’re controlling everything you do together, give him space to be himself.

5. He needs a break.
 
You’re simply spending too much time together. His friends want to hang out with him, his family misses him, or he wants to play the videogame he bought months ago. Let him have fun without you!

6. He’s wary of commitment.

Your relationship started as just fun for him but now he’s thinking if this is serious enough to lead to marriage and kids. Maybe he’s not ready for that yet. If you’re willing to wait, assure him you’d like to take your time, too.

7. He’s losing interest.

Ouch! Don't waste your time. Just move on.

Everyone reaches a point where they take stock of their relationship. If he seems distant, don’t worry about it too much since all he needs is time to process how he feels for you. He needs to do this on his own so give him space.

Let him work through the reasons why he’s pulling away. If he breaks up with you, then it’s not meant to be. But if he comes back, then you know he’s serious about you. Now it's up to you to decide if he was worth the wait. 

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P.S. I wrote this as a test article for a job I applied for last year (it didn't work out because stuff were piling up in my life). It's such a waste to not use it so I published it here but edited it so it sounds more like me and not like the website I wrote it for (they didn't publish it and I retain all rights to this article). Gosh. All the test articles I've written over the years! All the job search stories! Maybe I'll do a story on my job search. Let me know if you'd like that!

1 comment:

Thanks for dropping by my blog! It really means a lot that you spare the time to read... and comment!