Sunday, February 16, 2025

Birthdays

This weekend was my husband's birthday. We didn't take pictures of Vince! But my mind is on birthdays so I'll share photos of the kids' birthdays instead. I never posted these before. These were from years ago. I've stopped sharing their birthday pics for their privacy. But since they're bigger now, their faces have changed, and the kids told me they loved looking at their old birthday photos, so let's share a few here!
 

Here's my eldest boy's 11th birthday. He's turning 15 now and he doesn't look like that anymore. He's tall, broad-shouldered, serious, angular. He's in high school. He's an excellent student, and he even went to The Hague, Netherlands last year for the International STEM Olympiad, where he won medals in math and science. We're very proud of him! 


This is my second boy's 11th birthday, too. I was already working in an office so I didn't get to spend the day with him. That's okay, I guess (no, it's not), because my husband works from home so he got to make our darling boy's day special with homecooked spaghetti.


I joined them later for cake. And all was well. We're so proud of our middle child. He's turning 13 this year and in 7th grade. He's tall, with a shock of black hair, and growing broad, too. He plays the piano (self-taught!) so well and so emotionally. He's playing the piano now as I type. He's a deep thinker, very much in tune with his emotions, very expressive, and his vocabulary is even bigger and wider now. Well, he's always been like that (remember this love post when he was only 3?) so I shouldn't be surprised. But I still am. 

And here's the youngest boy! We can't remember if this was his 7th or 8th birthday. He's 10 now, in 5th grade, and such a serious boy. He has all his front teeth and he's very cute, but he rarely smiles. Like I said, very serious. He likes plopping down beside me at bedtime and having long, deep conversations about God, the world, life, science, and family. His pediatrician called him an old soul when he was 4. And, yes, it's like talking to a wise, old man. He's a lot like his father. 

His father! I wish we had taken pictures of Vince's birthday! But I was holding the cake, our eldest was at the piano playing the birthday song, and the other two boys were singing loudly. We forgot to get the camera! I would like you to know that it was a sweet weekend. It started with steak and mashed potatoes. Vince cooked the steak, I the potatoes. That was our Valentine's dinner and it was sooo delicious. Then we watched The Fellowship of the Ring. It was our nth watch but we had lots of new takeaways. 

Mine was how the male relationships were so healthy! All the men were openly affectionate with each other. They cried, they hugged, they kissed, they apologized, they talked. I told our boys that this is a great example because there's a male loneliness epidemic sweeping our society these days. That's because boys and men are discouraged from showing emotions, being honest with how they feel, to not be affectionate with their male friends (because it's "gay"). These patriarchal notions of manhood are all outdated and damaging! I'm glad we watched Fellowship again because that's a really great example of a, well, a fellowship!

Then on Vince's birthday, we had cake and ice cream! And I cooked beef with broccoli, which was a hit. And Vince and I just spent the day talking and talking and talking. Then we watched The Two Towers, which was a good movie, too, but it's not our favorite Lord of the Rings part. But we still enjoyed the movie. It was a great day!   

Sunday, today, we had a Mexican lunch. Burritos, quesadillas, and tacos. It was delicious. We were supposed to watch The Return of the King, the last part of the trilogy, tonight, but we were all tired and sleepy. I forgot to mention that we were all sick or coming down with the cold. I'm recovering (mine started last Wednesday) while Vince and our boys are in various stages of this nasty cold. And that's why we stayed home all weekend! But it's our favorite thing to do in our favorite place in the world with our favorite people ever so it was a great weekend!

I hope you had a good one, too! 

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Saturday, February 08, 2025

To those who have sent their condolences, thank you.


To those who have sent their condolences, thank you.

We take your words, your sad looks, your sighs,
but the grief we feel is of another kind.
We don't mourn his loss, this man I won't name.
We grieve the scars, the endless pain.

He was a father, a brother, a friend,
a husband, a son... and a curse to the end.
Behind closed doors, where shadows creep,
he stole our breath, he stole our sleep.

With hands that bruised, with words that cut,
with silent warfare, he left us shut.
He drained our souls, he bent our minds,
he took and took, left none behind.

We smiled! We sang! We wore the mask.
We hid the torment - a painful task.
Because family stays, right? Family hides.
So in our silence, more life died.

But finally, we walked away. We had to flee
to save ourselves, our sanity.
Then whispers came, "Where have you gone?"
They judged us since we left him alone.

We waited long for words unsaid,
a hint of sorrow, a past to mend.
We hoped he’d try, we hoped he’d see,
and own his wrongs, and just say sorry.

Yet silence reigned, no peace was sought,
no weight of guilt, no lessons taught.
So we forgave, for our own hearts' sake, 
because our peace he shouldn't take.

And now he’s dead! At last, sweet peace!
For us, the broken, we've found release.
We do not mourn him, but what he stole - 
the years, the love, the fractured whole.

So thank you for the words you sent,
but mourn instead what did not mend.
And if you wish to bring us cheer,
don't say, "I'm sorry," but "You're here!"

We survived! We didn't die.
We made new lives, we didn't cry.
We learned to laugh, to love, to live
and still found joy and more to give.

Congratulate us for breaking free,
for finding strength, for daring to be.
So thank you for your condolences true,
But today, we celebrate! We really, really do.

February 2, 2025. Cremation Day.


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I believe we should not speak ill of the dead. But I also believe, more strongly, that we should not speak lies. Silence may honor the dead, but it dishonors the victims - and they are many. Silence protects evil. 

Imagine, this man who died was estranged from his wife, daughters, and sisters. His own mother wished he was dead. Ever wonder why? 

And still, because of our silence, people think he was a good guy. Would a good guy repel the women in his family? Pay attention, especially you who shake your heads at us. We didn't have to say anything. Our actions were loud and clear. This man was a bad man. That is his true legacy. 

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Saturday, January 25, 2025

Book Review: Steady Sarah by Justine Camacho-Tajonera

I've got the perfect read for the New Year for you! 




When I picked up Steady Sarah by Justine Camacho-Tajonera, I thought I was in for a romance. I expected a love story front and center—childhood friends discovering each other in a wholly new way, sparks flying, and happily-ever-afters unfolding. But this novel surprised me in the best way possible.


While there is a love interest (a childhood friend who appears sporadically and only becomes significant halfway through the story), this isn’t really a romance. It’s deeper and more profound: a story about facing life’s changes and curveballs with courage, curiosity, and an open heart.


Sarah Silvestre’s journey begins with upheaval—both personal and professional. Instead of retreating into the comfort of what’s familiar, Sarah takes this chaotic time in her always-steady life to reassess how she's been living: as a capable office manager, dependable daughter and friend, and reliable girlfriend. Meh. So thank goodness we meet Sarah when her world turns upside down because it pushes her to embark on a waterfall-chasing adventure across the Philippines!


Sarah's story resonated with me, especially how she confronted the unknown. I'm not a Sarah, so I don't relate to her fears. Sarah is someone who thrives on obedience and stability, someone who likes life neatly tied up in a box. Yet when the ribbon unravels and she finds that the box is empty, she doesn’t stay stuck moaning about it—she sets off to find something new. That's my girl!




Personally, I’ve never been one to keep things in a tidy box. Growing up, and even as a child, I insisted on doing things my way. Marching to the beat of my own drum has often brought me loneliness and trouble with the conservative people in my life (that's basically every single one of them, haha). But it has also brought me to people, places, and adventures I could never have imagined. That’s why Sarah’s story spoke to me—because I'm so glad I was never that girl... the girl everyone wanted me to be. Sarah finding her way by leaving home, climbing mountains, and jumping into waterfalls is a reminder for all of us at life’s crossroads: throw caution to the wind, live boldly, love deeply, and be outrageously brave.


My dear Loyal Readers know that my life motto is "The brave may not live forever but cowards never live at all."


Oh, and I've added a new one: "When Death finds you, may it find you alive."


Back to Sarah and her journey!


I like that this book introduced the love interest halfway through. That really drives home the fact that you may or may not find true love along the way, that a romance is beside the point. What matters is that you find yourself.


Steady Sarah is not just a call to adventure; it’s a call to authenticity. By the end of the novel, Sarah isn’t "steady" anymore, at least not in the way she was before. And that’s a good thing. She’s steady in a new way—steady in her courage, her self-awareness, and her trust in life’s unfolding.


This novel is an inspiring reminder that, sometimes, the best way forward is to leap, even when you don’t know where you’ll land. 

Congratulations, Justine, on your book!


Purchase Steady Sarah by Justine Camacho Tajonera at Amazon and Fully Booked.


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I review books written by Filipinos. If you're a mom, I'll prioritize it! 

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