Friday, January 02, 2026

Happy New Year! !

Happy 2026, dear Loyal Readers! 

The photos here aren't from today. They're from my new year, my 49th birthday a few weeks ago. I'm sick with a really bad cold in these photos. And we didn't know it yet, but my youngest, my eldest, and then my husband - in that order - will get dengue one after the other in the following weeks. So if I thought I was feeling poorly here, I ain't seen nothing yet! 


But, as with all things that happened in my 49 years, we survived dengue. I will say that I have never been more terrified in my life. Yung napaluhod sa dasal ba sa sobrang takot. And sunud-sunod pa talaga silang nagkasakit. Hindi talaga ako natulog ng isang buwan, mamas. No joke. And all this while I had work and one more healthy son to care for. 

I developed a consistent muscle spasm by the side of my head and, even when they were already well, I still couldn't sleep. I finally went to the doctor and I was diagnosed with fatigue. Meron pa lang ganung diagnosis?! He said even though the danger was past, my body was still on hyper-vigilance mode. So, for the first time ever, I was prescribed a sleep aid. Three tablets lang naman para raw makatulog ako. But stubborn me, I didn't take one until the weekend, which was days after, because I had so much to do, I couldn't afford to sleep. 

So that was how my new year started, and that was also why I resolved that for this 2026, I am going to prioritize sleep and healthy living. 


I had so many plans last 2025. But, grabe, lagi akong may sakit. Or kung hindi ako, yung pamilya ko. Dengue aside, we were all just sick enough so that I didn't have time for my plans of world domination! 

But I am still proud to say na kahit sakitin ako at exhausted last year, I was still able to get writing gigs. My articles came out in MEGA, Vogue, Smart Parenting, and The Beauty Edit. It is soooo nice to see my byline again! I also wrote stories and poems. And started books! Yeah, hindi pa nga tapos yung mga werewolf romances ko, nag-pivot ako to devotionals / memoir. 

So we'll see what happens next! 

"We'll see" kasi I think I will slow down na muna. Masyado akong ambisyosa last year, napagod tuloy ako. Aalagaan ko muna sarili ko, devote more time and energy to nourish this middle-aged body so I can be strong enough to make my big dreams come true. Kasi, imagine niyo ha, I was operating on near empty last year pero may mga significant accomplishments pa rin ako. I think I was also still a great wife and mother. And I was still showing up at the office and hitting targets left and right. Paano na lang kung I am at my 100% best and healthiest??? I would be unstoppable! 

And when you're 49, to even still have goals and dreams and be excited for more of what life has to offer, that sure is something. 

In fact, for 2026, I have something up my sleeve. A few somethings actually. I am so excited to tell you all about the first one! Soon, soon. I know you'll love this big project! 

So, if you're wondering what happened to my last year, that was it. Lots of highs and lows. But I am still here! With more to give than ever before. I thought life would get more boring as I get older. Hindi pala. Papunta pa lang tayo sa exciting part, mamas. So if magkasing-edad tayo at feeling mo nalampasan ka na ng life, at panahon na ng mga bata naman, no. Every day is a new opportunity to do something new! 

And, despite all my excitement, my something new will be, funnily enough, slow down na muna. Magpapalakas muna ako kasi marami akong pangarap pa, and God willing, you'll see them all come true. 

So please pray for me as I diet and exercise and sleep early (it's 1 AM as I type haha). Once I feel strong enough, let's run this new race together! 

It's such a happy new year! God bless you all. Mwah! 

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Thursday, September 11, 2025

Here's how to have a simple wedding

There’s nothing wrong with having a big church wedding with 300 guests, a gorgeous designer gown, and a wedding reception that costs the same as the deposit on a family home if that’s what you want. I have been to many outrageous, elegant, outlandish, or crazy weddings that obviously cost a pretty penny (lotsa them!) and they are all as meaningful as a civil wedding at city hall (yes, been to a city hall wedding, too!).

Our wedding looked fancy but it really was a simple affair.

Now if you're one of those who prefer a simpler, more minimalistic wedding that is just as beautiful, but which won’t cost nearly as much, then here are some ideas to help you create the simple wedding of your dreams:

Trim the Guest List
The first step to having a simpler wedding is trimming down the guest list. You do not have to invite everyone you know to your wedding. Only inviting the people you truly care about is what matters in a truly important event such as your wedding.

But in our dear country where everyone knows everybody, how does one get away with that??? You don't. You'll have angry neighbors, resentful relatives that you don't even know, and enemies even who can't comprehend why they weren't there to scowl at your happiness. How do you trim the guest list then? Here's what I accidentally did: Vince and I scheduled our wedding on a weekday because April 18 was the anniversary of our first kiss. Vince didn't want to remember another date, so April 18 it was even if it was a Thursday. I invited 250 people but only 140 RSVP'd they'll come. Why? "Because we have work." Guys, you work every day; I get married once in a lifetime. If you can't take the day off, half the day off even to attend my wedding then #alamnathis. 

Another tip my friends shared is to do a destination wedding. Invite everyone in the world! But pay only for the trip of a select few. Inviting everyone means you care for them but only the ones who care for you will spare the time and expense to be there. 

Semi-joking aside, I really wish Filipinos didn't get so sensitive about invitations. Weddings are so personal. So only the people who you really want to be part of your happiness should be there as this is the best way to ensure that you have a truly meaningful wedding day.

Buy the Rings Online
It’s not a wedding without the rings, but if shopping for jewelry isn’t your thing and you don’t want to be pressured by an insistent salesperson into going over your budget when she shows you lots of shiny things and flattering you, you can shop in peace at a great wedding ring website (check out https://www.whiteflash.com/wedding-rings/tacori/). As my Loyal Readers know, I am a huge fan of online shopping. It helps me consider lots of choices within my budget without having to talk to a stranger. If there had been local jewelry brands that had online shops back in my day, I'd definitely have shopped online!

Tip: Many jewelers also offer jewelry financing options, so you can comfortably pay for your dream rings in installments without stretching your wedding budget.

Vince's cute nephews (they're teenagers now)! We got our rings from a bridal fair—also a great place to find good deals. 

Buy Everything Online!
Since we're shopping for rings already, check out the rest of your wedding needs online. No need to spend for parking and gas and eating out. You have the entire world at your fingertips! You can buy your flowers, shoes, suits, gowns (check out styleaisle for fab gowns!), cake, and souvenirs from the comfort of your own home. The best part is you can save because you can compare prices and avail of discounts. Try it!


Limit the Dinner Choices
Okay, as a Pinoy, I firmly believe that you can make tipid on everything but never the food! Long after the day is done, you'll only have photos to remember the day, right? But your guests will remember the food. They won't remember your designer gown, your crystal goblets, your diamond-encrusted tiara, or the song of your first dance (although I do remember this one wedding where the newlyweds danced to "Maybe It's You." Maybe??? Everyone was giggling.). What they'll all remember for years to come is what you served them and if it was bad or good. 

I read somewhere that half your wedding budget should go to food. That sounds crazy but it's true. The longer your guest list, the bigger the food bill. It’s easy to spend a lot on food if you decide to offer a wide range of dishes and desserts, so what you do is limit the food choices. You don't need hundreds of different appetizers or a dozen cakes, right? Just a salad and few pika-pika, a meat course (with a choice of fish, meat or chicken maybe), some carbs like rice and pasta, and a couple of desserts, that's okay! As long as you ensure that there is at least one option for people with special dietary requirements such as vegans or allergy sufferers, then having a couple of simple options that are nice, but not too fancy is all you need.

We had a lovely sit-down dinner that our guests still talk about a decade after. Our cake was homemade by a friend.

While we’re on the subject of food, it’s much simpler to pay a little more and have the whole deal catered by a prefessional (try https://www.bitecatering.net/). Some things you can do yourself but when it comes to feeding a big group of people, get help. Many people think catering their own wedding, with the help of friends and family is the simpler option, but it is actually very stressful, so be mindful of that.

Delegate
It’s pretty natural to want to have control over what is one of the biggest days of your life, but that doesn’t mean you can’t delegate, and you should if you want it to be as simple as possible. Hence the booming business that is called wedding organizers. They pretty much call the shots at the wedding so that the bride and groom can enjoy their day. However, their services are pretty expensive.

If your wedding is small and simple enough and you happen to have an amazing bunch of helpful friends, then you probably won't need a wedding organizer. The key is to work out what you want and then delegate specific tasks to friends and family. That way, you do have control over what your wedding will be like, without having total responsibility for making things happen.

In my case, I couldn't afford a wedding organizer. My photographer wanted me to hire one because he didn't want to bother me daw, but walang budget! So I just asked my sister to take care of the day itself. I wished I had asked more people to help out, though. I think my sister got stressed (love you, Jacqui!).

My dear friend Kate Torralba was the designer, stylist and wedding singer! 

Do It Yourself
Now, if you really want a simple affair, with as little interference from strangers as much as possible,  then you can make your wedding a charming, homemade affair. Taking the DIY approach to everything from invitations to flowers is actually pretty simple. Maybe you can create your own invitations and print them out at home versus navigating the millions of choices available at shops. If you have beautiful handwriting, you can address the envelopes yourself (I did!). If your mom has a lush garden, maybe she can create shabby chic bouquets for you and your entourage. Ask your friends what service they can give to you as a gift (just don't be an unreasonable, entitled and demanding bridezilla!). Your wedding can be even more memorable and meaningful if everyone who made it possible is someone who loves you.

Was your wedding a simple affair? What tips can you give couples looking to have a simple wedding of their own?

*This post was originally published in February 14, 2018.

*This post contains affiliate links.


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Sunday, August 24, 2025

Inevitable

Can I make kwento—a weird little story? But don’t get scared. Sa tanda kong ito, marami na akong napagdaanan. Recently, I realized something that makes me curious. It’s weird. But maybe it’s nothing. You decide.

People who have hurt me in the past ended up dying difficult, natural deaths—stroke, lingering illness, slow decline. I had nothing to do with it. Matagal ko na silang napatawad. And yet... how odd, right?

I take no pleasure in their horrible deaths. I never wished it. But I remembered that when I was struggling to forgive them—kasi ang sakit-sakit talaga ng ginawa nila sa akin—this Bible verse always gave me comfort: “Do not look for revenge but leave room for the wrath; for it is written, ‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.’” (Romans 12:19). Leaving it in God’s hands has allowed me to let go of the pain, forgive, and move on. 

And then… I started noticing the pattern.

My Lolo Manong, Lola Auring, Papa and Mama. They're gone now. But they made sure to warn me about gabâ.  

My parents and grandparents are from Leyte and Samar. They call it gabâ. 

“Ang gabâ dili magsaba.” 

Retribution doesn’t announce itself. It just comes. It is inevitable. 

My Lola used to say that even if you forgive, the universe still needs to balance the wrong. Kaya daw dapat maging mabait ako. Because even if I repent, the universe will demand justice. Scary, no?


Anyway! I don’t wish anyone harm. But I find myself watching, wondering, waiting—how the story of four more people who hurt me deeply will eventually unfold. Four more people I'm now looking at with trepidation. Because if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s this: gabâ always comes.

*Ripples photo by Vitaly K. on Unsplash

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