Monday, December 31, 2012

Happiest of New Years to you!

"May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you're wonderful, and don't forget to make some art—write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can.

"...I hope you will have a wonderful year, that you'll dream dangerously and outrageously, that you'll make something that didn't exist before you made it, that you will be loved and you will be liked, and that you will have people to love and to like in return. And, most importantly (because I think there should be more kindness and more wisdom in the world right now), that you will, when you need to be, be wise, and that you will always be kind.

"And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself." 

These were Neil Gaiman's New Year wishes for his readers 11 years and 6 years ago. Last year, he wished for us to make mistakes because mistakes mean we're trying something new. 

I'm trying something new this year. Be a full-time mom, be a work-at-home mom. Somewhere along the way, maybe I'll renovate the house. Maybe I'll teach writing. Maybe I'll take up classes, like baking and crafting and guitar playing. Or maybe I'll find that being a mommy is so demanding that I'll just devote myself to the boys. Lots of plans. No plans. For the first time ever, I am allowing life to happen to me, instead of me controlling everything. I've worked so hard. Now I just want to enjoy life and all that I've worked for.

I wish the same for you! Happy 2013!


Friday, December 28, 2012

Dreaming of a new look for 2013

For the house, not me!

I'm getting tired of our blue walls. I love them, make no mistake, but after 5 years of living with them, I am ready for a new color. Or a non-color like gray or white.

I was browsing through fab online magazine Lonny.com and instantly fell in love with these stark yet cozy, elegant rooms:


All that light! So amazing. It's like a photo box!

I do admit that I do love color a wee bit too much to just go black/white/gray. I have a pink Christmas tree, for heaven's sake! So I'm pretty sure I'm going to add pops of color here and there. But I do want white walls now. Or gray. Hmm. Still can't decide.

The truth is I want a non color because I take most of my photos inside the house. Me, my kids, my products. And I always have to color correct everything because everything takes on a bluish tinge: our skin, our clothes, our hair, the products! I want to look like a human being, not a Smurf haha.

What's your home makeover plan this 2013?


*photos from Lonny.com

Monday, December 24, 2012

Happy Holidays!


Dearest darling readers,

Thank you for being a blessing to me and my family this year. Thank you for the good will, the love and encouragement, the prayers, and the gifts. You have truly blessed us. I send you God's blessings of love, peace, and abundance, too! Merry Christmas!

Frances and Vince and our kiddos Vito and Iñigo


*photo by Blow-Up Babies but arte-fied by me that's why it looks weird, I guess!

Friday, December 21, 2012

Topaz Fashion: Jumpsuit day

Okay, guys, just one photo today because I only went out twice this week. Tuesday, for a full day of photo shoots and today to watch The Hobbit with my husband. My outfit today was actually cute but we forgot to take a photo. Oh well! Anyway, I was supposed to go to two events—Benefit's anniversary party and a secret blogger dinner—this week but I suffered a bad cold and sore throat (recovering now!) so been mostly home.

Anyway, today's Topaz Fashion features my super old jumpsuit. I don't even remember where I bought this. Some little store in Robinsons Galleria.

I wore it on Tuesday. Had two photo shoots that day so I had to be as comfy as possible. Plus, I brought baby Iñigo with me so I had to be boob-accessible. I wore my jumpsuit with my snakeskin sandals from Charles & Keith. The photo shoots were for my Behind the Scenes column. It's in the fashion section of Manila Bulletin. Today featured Ana Amigo Antonio. Next week, it will be Patty Laurel-Filart, the pretty woman I'm posing with in the shot above.

I love this jumpsuit to bits! But it was bought when I didn't have my mommy flab (see pre-mommy photo of me in that jumpsuit here) so now... I dunno. Maybe I'll sell it on eBay, too. Time for a new wardrobe!!!

Happy weekend, fashionistas!


P.S. This is a good read on OOTD fashion blogs: "Has street style jumped the shark?". Are fashion blogs real style or are they all staged?


Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Silly dream, serious realizations

Let's take a break from all the sponsored posts I'm doing so I can tell you about this absurd nightmare I had the other morning.

In my dream, I had won Binibining Pilipinas. In my dream, sobrang grabe ang ganda ko, kahit ako napa-wow sa sarili ko. I was perfect. My hair was thick and glossy, my arms and legs smooth and slim, my tummy flat and firm, my teeth straight, my face flawless. I won Bb. Pilipinas-Universe!!!

The real winners!

But curiously, I was dismayed. I hid in an obscure bed and breakfast. I hid for so long that tabloids were splashing ugly stories about me on their front pages. Finally, I went home to my parents' house. Papa was so happy to see me. Mama was so proud, too. I should have realized at this point that this was a dream. Haha, posible pang manalo ako ng beauty pageant pero imposible yung buhay si Mama, diba, since she passed away in 2008. So dapat I said at this point, "Oh it's just a dream!" But, no, I still didn't get that this was a dream; in my head, I thought it was all real.

Anyway! Papa was so proud. He said, "Everyone's talking about you! Magandang publicity stunt yung nawala ka ng ilang araw. Magaling ka talaga sa PR, anak!" I didn't respond. I was looking for something, I don't know what, but I looking here and there.

Papa kept on talking. "Ang problema na lang natin is paano natin itatago si Vince at mga bata. Syempre, Bb. Pilipinas-Universe ka na. Hindi pwedeng may asawa't anak ka!"

And that was when I realized what I was looking for. I said, "Papa, asan si Vince? Asan ang mga anak ko?"

"Don't think about them!" Papa said. "One year lang naman ang reign mo so tiisin mo muna sila. Mas importante we prepare you for Miss Universe!"

I started crying. "No, no. I have to see them! I have to see them now. I don't want to be Bb. Pilipinas. Paano ba ako nanalo? Hindi naman ako rumampa??!" Hahaha but in my dream mega-tears ako nito. I was crying so hard as I said, "I'll tell everyone the truth! I'm not a binibini! I'm a wife! I'm a mother! I want to see Vince and my kids!"

And then Papa and Mama looked at me with anger and disappointment. Papa said, "Ganyan ka talaga. Selfish! Minsan ka na nga lang nagbigay sa amin ng Mama mo ng reason to be proud of you and so typical of you, uunahin mo na naman ang sarili mo!"

And that was when I woke up. I still thought it was real because the first thing I did was look for Vince, Vito and Iñigo. To my relief, Vince was asleep beside me but I had a few seconds of panic when I didn't see the boys in the house. I quickly remembered, and this was when I finally shuddered off my nightmare, that the babies are in the playground with their yayas. I was okay. I was home. I was with the most important people in my life in my most important role.

Silly stupid dream, right? Right. Vince was laughing throughout my kwento. I was laughing, too, lalo na dun sa part when I said hindi naman ako rumampa. But I found myself conjuring my dream again and again, if only to see Mama's face again and again. So even though it was a ridiculous nightmare, it was okay.

You know, it was never my mission in life to please my parents. Neither did I go out of my way to disappoint them, mind. I remember a conversation with Mama when I was in my teens. We just had an argument but when we'd calmed down, I told her, "It's not that I'm being disobedient or being difficult or that I want to cause you pain. I just want to live. Whatever that means. Please let me live."

My parents never wanted me to be a writer, never wanted me to have a career. They just wanted me to get married, have kids, serve the Lord. But they did let me be. They disapproved of my college course, Creative Writing, but they let me take it. They disapproved of my boyfriends but they treated them all well. They didn't like that Vince and I were getting waaaaaaay too involved but they treated Vince like their son. They didn't understand my career choices but they were happy I seemed to be a success. They didn't like that I waited and waited to get pregnant but when I finally did become a mother, Papa—because Mama was no longer around—just congratulated me happily.

So I know that maybe I was a disappointment to my parents because I didn't turn out the way they dreamed it when I was born and they dreamed their dreams as they counted my fingers and toes. But I also know that they're fiercely proud of me despite that. I'm grateful they allowed me to be who I am and to live my life the way I wanted. It must have been so difficult for them to see me struggle and fail and not lift a finger to help because I insisted I didn't need help. They allowed me to grow, to be me, and eventually to realize on my own the truths they always knew and tried to teach me.

So my nightmare was absurd because it isn't true. My parents are proud of me, even though I took a different path, even though I was different from them, even though my dreams weren't their dreams. Eventually, even though we fought tooth and nail, they let go. They let me be. And though they were afraid and doubtful, I knew somewhere in there, there was hope and trust. And that was all I needed to be really, truly me.


Trivia: I was a beauty queen in high school. No joke!