Tuesday, June 06, 2017

Don't waste time when the kids are at school

Today is the first day of school! So just a quick blog post for my fellow working mamas before I dash off. As a work-at-home parent, some of the only time I have to myself will be found in the times my kids are at school. So you can bet I'm so excited that the school year is here! The summer's been a bit crazy because my family's schedule changed every day. I feel lots guilty because I couldn't focus on work and I couldn't focus on family. It was easier when the kids were at school because I could work and play when they're away!

Lots of moms ask me how I can juggle work and family. You know, it's really important that you find someone or something to take care of the kids. That's the real secret. From a dependable yaya or your in-laws to hours spent in school and extracurricular activities, these help a mom be more than a mom. Don't feel guilty about this, working mamas! 



I always look forward to the hours my kids are somewhere I know they'll be safe and have fun, too, because that means I have time for me. But that doesn't mean I pop open the champagne and go shopping. I wish! Instead, I use that precious time to take care of things I couldn't when the kids are around. Here's what I take care of when the kids are at school:

1. I take care of work.
I have a lot of work but the kids will always come first so I squeeze work in the hours when the kids aren't there. That'll be early morning, when they're in school, and/or when they're asleep. (So when do I sleep???) 

Work doesn't mean just my writing and editing projects. It also means taking care of the paperwork of my business. It also means doing chores and errands for home management. My husband is the one in charge of managing our money, and he needs to focus when he's doing the books. Impossible when the kids are around! But when the kids are at school, that's usually the time he takes out the whiteboard and Excel sheets and go over them with me. 

Managing money is something that makes me uncomfortable, but it needs to be done especially when you're running a household! Making small investments here and paying debt there will make our future a lot brighter. I hate that it's my husband who does this so well. I'm not financially illiterate but I'm not great at money management either. But I'm learning this year! I'm trying out free budgeting software like Quickbooks, for example, to help me me get organized. 

2. I take care of the house.
Of course, when the kids aren’t at home, this is a great chance to get some of their mess cleared up. Having kids is never an easy job. When they’re very young, chaos and carnage will follow in their wake. This results in a lot of work which needs to be done to keep the house clean and safe for them. This summer, my husband and I have had to do tidying up each day when the boys were asleep, which meant we couldn't sleep! Now that school's back, we can tidy up during the day and actually get to sleep at night!!!

3. I take care of my brain.
A lot of parents put their life on hold when they have kids. Even working mama me had to scale back on projects. But now that the boys are in school, my husband and I have started thinking of going back to the corporate world because of very expensive tuition fees (sob! sob!). Unfortunately, because we've both been out of the workforce for so long, this can make it very hard to pick up the pieces and get back to work!

To avoid this situation, I've found that networking helps a lot—whether it's reactivating old industry contacts or creating new ones in new fields. I've also started signing up for free courses which suit what I imagine my future career could be. Some people I know actually plunk down money to get a new degree or even an MA. Since I studied in a special sciences school—what a surprise, right?—I've seen some of my former classmates say on Facebook that getting a masters of science in engineering management and other science- and math-related fields helped launch their careers abroad.

I have no plans on going abroad (yet) but I firmly believe in continual learning, especially since my industry, print publishing, is dying (if not dead already). Since I'm a working mommy, all the time I can afford is for online classes, too. Right now, I'm looking at digital marketing, digital content creation, and digital public relations. But I've also been looking at journalism courses that deal especially with the internet. It's the age of fake news and I want to be equipped to fight it. 

4. I take care of my relationships.
When the boys are at school, it's easier to be married. It's easier to be a friend. Tough fact but true. Those precious hours I'm free from being a mommy means I can see my friends for lunch. My husband and I also use the time we spend in traffic picking up the kids from school as our time to talk without getting interrupted a thousand times by little voices. This summer, we were constantly surrounded by kids and constantly immersed in childcare that we hardly talked—you know, the meaningful kind. So I'm really looking forward to the school year because I want to have a marriage again!

5. I take care of me.
I know everyone says "me" should be on top of the list. You can't pour from an empty cup! I agree but my kids are small and these exhausting years go by so fast so I don't mind prioritizing them. My "me time" isn't even elaborate. A hot shower long enough for me to exfoliate dull skin and condition my dead hair is a treat. Applying nail polish while I wait for my coffee to cool makes me happy. Reading lovely articles from my favorite magazines like Vanity Fair is always a joy. Obviously, these rarely happen when the kids are around so this back-to-school school season is making me excited!

That's my list! What do you do when your kids are at school? 

*This post contains affiliate links. Image from Pexels

Monday, June 05, 2017

Back-to-school tips from Mommy Rochelle and me

Pasukan na bukas!!! I am so looking forward to my Vito and Iñigo going back to school. As I said in a previous post, I finished my shopping for school supplies at National Book Store. Some readers pointed out that I bought more stuff for myself than for my kids. That's because my sons' school provides nearly all of my kids' supplies. This is to ensure that all students have the exact same stuff and walang inggitan na mangyayari. Yes. Their school is very thorough—one of the many reasons I love their school! But I was still able to grab a few art and school supplies for our home because a working mama like me needs to stock up on those for projects and assignments!

Anyway, who says back-to-school is for kids only anway? I definitely can't wait for school to start (isang tulog na lang hooray!) because school gives our days a rhythm. As a working mom, I need that predictability. Now, many moms may think back-to-school means chaos, so I'm so grateful fellow mommy blogger Rochelle Rivera shared with me her tips for a more organized and more relaxed life. She should know because she has three kids in school, the eldest is in high school pa so she definitely is much wiser than me!



If you haven't seen this yet, here's a video summary of the stuff I got, which I blogged about na last week:


Pwede na ba akong maging vlogger? LOLs

Okay, this isn't a sponsored post. I just wanted to share my National Book Store videos and photos with my readers. Yes, photos! Please let me do this kasi sayang naman yung mga photos that the official photographer took of me!
Must say ang ganda ng ilaw sa NBS Glorietta.
With the convenient shopping cart—slim to fit the aisles but deep enough for your stuff!

And that's it! A quick blog post this Monday! Enjoy the week, mommies!

Wednesday, May 31, 2017

Iñigo is 5

Just before the last day of this month slips into the second half of the year, I want to tell you about my second son, who celebrated his 5th birthday this May.

Iñigo loves me the most. I'm sure his two brothers, Vito and Piero, will contest that but I know in my mama's heart that my second boy is the one who feels most tender towards me. That makes me feel a lot guilty, to be honest, because of all my boys, he's the one I don't really get to focus on. His older brother, by virtue of being the first to experience everything, and his younger brother who is a baby, get all of my time and attention. Iñigo doesn't seem to mind. Or maybe he's learned not to mind and has taught himself to be content with whatever's left of me.

I know this. I'm not unaware of the little heartbreaks my sweet Iñigo goes through every day, and I try to make up by asking him to help me with the chores or just sit by me while I work. And he's happy with the morsels of my affection. He's thrilled just to be beside me. He doesn't demand for me to listen to his stories like Vito does. He doesn't demand for everything like Piero does. He just sits there beside me, happy.

"I just want to hold your arm, Mama."

"I need to write, Iñigo, so you'll have to let go."

"Okay, Mama. I'll sit here, Mama. Is that okay?"

And of course it's okay but I feel bad I couldn't even give him my arm.

All of his five years, he's the sweet and silly one. He was the quiet baby, so quiet we forgot he's there sometimes because Vito was always a huge presence and Piero refuses to be ignored. So Iñigo learned to shine in other ways. He's the most gifted when it comes to art. He's also the only one who can cook. He's the one with the most hilarious quips. And he always wears red. He must've instinctively realized that red draws so much attention.

Tonight, as we cuddled in his bed with the Spider-Man sheets (he now wants Iron Man), he talked about his birthday because I told him it's the end of May so we'll finally take down all the party decorations. He asked why being 5 means going to a big school when he doesn't feel so big. He was in a chatty mood and then he said, "Mama, are you already sleeping?"

"I'm falling asleep, baby," I replied. "I had a long day and tomorrow I have to go to work early."

"Okay, Mama, you sleep na. Good night, Mama. I love you. I'll sleep beside Vito so you can sleep better." And before I can protest, he crawled over to Vito's bed and was asleep in minutes.

And I woke up because I didn't want him to go and that I liked his chattiness even though it made me drowsy. But that's Iñigo, my sensitive boy, the tender-hearted one, and the one who loves me most.

Dearest Iñigo, thank you for loving me and your Papa and your brothers so much. Thank you for always buying stuff for your brothers even though they don't do the same for you. I don't know who taught you to be so generous with your life and why you are so gentle and kind. While your Papa and I are good parents, we can't take credit for the purity of your soul and the hugeness of your heart.

May you always have this kindness and generosity. May you always be full of contentment even as I wish you better and grander things, all of which such a good boy like you deserve. I don't know what I did to deserve you but I count you as one of my biggest blessings, the one who taught me to be a more mindful, more compassionate mother, all because you love me so so unconditionally. I am a better mama to you and your brothers because you taught me to be generous and kind.

God bless you, my dearest sweetheart. You will always be my darling boy, the one I look on oh so fondly. Happiest of birthdays to you and for many more years to come. We love you so very much!