TOPAZ HORIZON

When Vince and I went to London for our honeymoon, my biggest regret was not setting aside an entire three days for the National Gallery. We spent just three hours instead and then we had to catch the plane to Manila. We missed our plane but you can read more about London here (although back then, my posts were mostly written in Taglish).

Anyway, I took a few courses in Renaissance Art in college since I've always been fascinated with it when I was a kid. So when we entered the National Gallery and I saw the works of Da Vinci, Van Gogh, Titian, Holbein, Vermeer, Rembrandt, Monet... I completely lost it. I just cried! Seeing those paintings has got to be one of the most amazing things in my life and I will go back. And I will spend an entire hour staring at this:


This is a huge painting. It's bigger than my house, I think. This depicts the tragic conclusion of the life of Lady Jane Grey, Queen of England for a mere nine days. She was the grandniece of that notorious Henry VIII (he of the six wives) and though she was royalty and had the best life had to offer, she didn't have her parents' love. Their ambition was her undoing.

I won't do a history lesson here but I just wanted to say that this was my favorite painting in the precious few hours we spent at the National Gallery. Vince and I stood before this painting transfixed. It is absolutely stunning--the alabaster of her skin, the satin of her gown, the way she fumbled about for the chopping block, the gentle way she was assisted to her death, the distress of her maids, the calm of her executioner. And she was but 19 years old. Poor thing.

The painting is magnificent and Lady Jane truly does inspire some of the most remarkable art. WendyB, my gorgeous blogger friend who I admire and adore, has created a pendant inspired by the tragic Lady Jane.

Within the rock crystal teardrop are rubies, symbolizing blood and tears. It's one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen. And I want it! I'll have to earn tons of money to afford it, however, but I've already put that photo on my dream board and whatever I put on that board, I get!

UPDATES:
1. Interested in Jane's story? WendyB has a fun and easy post about her. Click here!
2. The necklace is about PHP 300,000.

*painting photo from Wikipedia, pendant photo from Wendy Brandes

Thanks everybody for your kind words. And to those who didn't have any kind words, fuck you.

I'm not going to talk about my pregnancy anymore or anything serious. I always said before that shallowness is the theme of this blog and yet I keep insisting on otherwise. I'm not just talking about the pregnancy; even my mother was criticized when I wrote about her recently. For Pete's sake, the woman is dead! Did ya forget to take your anti-depressants or something?

So let's go back to fun and vanity and frivolity. Better to be called stupid and vain than all the other nasty things I've been called recently. On to shopping! And parties! And shoes! And celebrities!

The previous post was interesting because some reader got offended by a comment I made and some readers reacted and then it became nasty and then I just had to not allow nasty comments anymore (the exchange is at my mommy blog--yes, I double post!). To be honest with ya, I found the exchange fascinating. I always liked controversy and dirt (which explains why I work in an entertainment magazine!) but since that is a mommy blog, I kinda figured I better clean it up since mommies seem to be expected to be positive and perfect. And since I'm spilling my guts there (and here) about how I feel about pregnancy and people around me (and guts aren't pretty), well, I'm rubbing people the wrong way.

First of all, I want to assure everybody that I love my unborn child. I hate feeling vomity and hungry and dizzy and tired and I certainly do not like my acne and the unsolicited advice being thrown at me left and right, but hey, it comes with the territory. I don't like what comes with the pregnancy but I love the kid that's causing all this fuss. The Jelly Bean is worth it.

Second, I'm honest but I'm not mean. People can't tell the difference. If you're fat and you ask me, "Hey, am I fat?", I will say, "Yes, you're fat." I will not mince words and I will not look away. But when I do say that, I'm not being nasty; I just answered your frikkin' question. So when I said in my previous post that I noticed that only ugly and unfashionable women tell me to stop trying to look good, I did mean that--that I'm fascinated with the fact that beautiful, kind and stylish women are encouraging and helpful while ugly women are nasty and discouraging. It's true! I wasn't being snarky when I wrote that; I was stating an observation.

Third, second point doesn't mean I'm a good and gentle person. If I were, this discussion won't even exist. I can be cruel and unkind. My friends and family call me "brutally honest" and they say this fondly but my family and friends are wonderful people who love me despite having been victims of my tongue. I've hurt a lot of people even though I didn't mean to. My sister once told me, "You're an editor so edit yourself!" As I've gotten older, I've learned to hold in my opinion, to lie even, but people can always tell if I'm lying. So now I say, "Ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies."

Fourth, will my brutal honesty harm my child? I have no idea. My mother was just as brutal while my father's philosophy was, "Honesty is not always the best policy." I don't want to know why my father will live by that credo but in my experience, I appreciated my mother's truthfulness so I want to be just as truthful with my kid. But I do hope that wisdom and compassion will hold my tongue and, to be honest with ya, just right now, wisdom and compassion are two things I'm still learning about. So help me God!

Fifth, what does this mean for my blogging and my promise to be completely candid? Well, this means I'll still tell you how I really feel. And if you think I've said too much, do tell me. Sometimes I really am not aware if I'm already being hurtful. My husband, my friends, my brother and sister are always telling me to be careful, to shut up, to delete that post, etc. So tell me if I was out of line--I'm used to being told off and I don't get offended because I know how stupid and careless I can be. Also, if you notice, I don't really blog daily. That's because there are days I really really am miserable but I don't want to post it because I really don't want to record too much ugliness.

They say pregnancy is a beautiful thing. So far, it's been pretty ugly (sniff! sniff!). But I do have moments of happiness--the ultrasound and seeing that beautiful little Jelly Bean swimming about as we counted its fingers and toes (complete sets!), the gentle way my husband treats me and tells me I'm beautiful even though pimples have multiplied on my face and back, the way drivers will stop their cars or strangers will open doors when they see me waddling past, the way people's eyes light up when they find out I'm pregnant... There is kindness, too. And I'm happy to be honest about that!