Saturday, March 08, 2025
My word for 2025: Now!
Sunday, February 16, 2025
Birthdays
And here's the youngest boy! We can't remember if this was his 7th or 8th birthday. He's 10 now, in 5th grade, and such a serious boy. He has all his front teeth and he's very cute, but he rarely smiles. Like I said, very serious. He likes plopping down beside me at bedtime and having long, deep conversations about God, the world, life, science, and family. His pediatrician called him an old soul when he was 4. And, yes, it's like talking to a wise, old man. He's a lot like his father.
His father! I wish we had taken pictures of Vince's birthday! But I was holding the cake, our eldest was at the piano playing the birthday song, and the other two boys were singing loudly. We forgot to get the camera! I would like you to know that it was a sweet weekend. It started with steak and mashed potatoes. Vince cooked the steak, I the potatoes. That was our Valentine's dinner and it was sooo delicious. Then we watched The Fellowship of the Ring. It was our nth watch but we had lots of new takeaways.
Mine was how the male relationships were so healthy! All the men were openly affectionate with each other. They cried, they hugged, they kissed, they apologized, they talked. I told our boys that this is a great example because there's a male loneliness epidemic sweeping our society these days. That's because boys and men are discouraged from showing emotions, being honest with how they feel, to not be affectionate with their male friends (because it's "gay"). These patriarchal notions of manhood are all outdated and damaging! I'm glad we watched Fellowship again because that's a really great example of a, well, a fellowship!
Then on Vince's birthday, we had cake and ice cream! And I cooked beef with broccoli, which was a hit. And Vince and I just spent the day talking and talking and talking. Then we watched The Two Towers, which was a good movie, too, but it's not our favorite Lord of the Rings part. But we still enjoyed the movie. It was a great day!
Sunday, today, we had a Mexican lunch. Burritos, quesadillas, and tacos. It was delicious. We were supposed to watch The Return of the King, the last part of the trilogy, tonight, but we were all tired and sleepy. I forgot to mention that we were all sick or coming down with the cold. I'm recovering (mine started last Wednesday) while Vince and our boys are in various stages of this nasty cold. And that's why we stayed home all weekend! But it's our favorite thing to do in our favorite place in the world with our favorite people ever so it was a great weekend!
I hope you had a good one, too!
Saturday, February 08, 2025
To those who have sent their condolences, thank you.
but the grief we feel is of another kind.
We don't mourn his loss, this man I won't name.
We grieve the scars, the endless pain.
He was a father, a brother, a friend,
a husband, a son... and a curse to the end.
Behind closed doors, where shadows creep,
he stole our breath, he stole our sleep.
With hands that bruised, with words that cut,
with silent warfare, he left us shut.
He drained our souls, he bent our minds,
he took and took, left none behind.
We smiled! We sang! We wore the mask.
We hid the torment - a painful task.
Because family stays, right? Family hides.
So in our silence, more life died.
Then whispers came, "Where have you gone?"
We waited long for words unsaid,
a hint of sorrow, a past to mend.
We hoped he’d try, we hoped he’d see,
and own his wrongs, and just say sorry.
Yet silence reigned, no peace was sought,
no weight of guilt, no lessons taught.
And now he’s dead! At last, sweet peace!
We do not mourn him, but what he stole -
the years, the love, the fractured whole.
So thank you for the words you sent,
but mourn instead what did not mend.
And if you wish to bring us cheer,
don't say, "I'm sorry," but "You're here!"
We survived! We didn't die.
We made new lives, we didn't cry.
We learned to laugh, to love, to live
and still found joy and more to give.
Congratulate us for breaking free,
for finding strength, for daring to be.
So thank you for your condolences true,
But today, we celebrate! We really, really do.