TOPAZ HORIZON

Nope, I haven't given birth yet. So many people have called and texted me asking about my online absence... and congratulating me at the same time!

This is why I suddenly disappeared.

I hate Globe. Super duper.

Or 24. The black hair kinda gives away the time. I was black for a year (when I was 23 to 24) before I finally decided that black hair just doesn't suit me and went red. Which suited me really well! But then I had to try blond and chocolate brown and... okay, where was I?

This photo is from the Candy website. I wrote an article for them a thousand years ago, which I promptly forgot, and then they put it online! I'm a bit embarrassed over the article--sounds really amateurish, so... young. Then again, I wrote it when I was very young. More than a decade ago actually. Sigh. It doesn't feel like any time has passed at all.  

My gosh, just a shallow comment: I was soooo thin here! No tummy! I miss my no tummy body! This was the time Vince and I just started dating. My goodness, I was, like, totally in love with him. Still am! But now it's really love; back then I think it was more of lust!

Just want to say that I'm loving where I am right now. To make room for the baby, who will stay in our bedroom for his first year, we've transferred my gorgeous Prizmic & Brill writing desk to Vince's study. In one corner, him; in the other, me! So now I actually get to spend more time with him!

This isn't a good photo of me (hair unbrushed, no makeup) or my desk (messy!) but I'll post it anyway just so you see how happy I am to be in the same room as my hubby...

Yikes, am I huge or am I huge? Looking at that photo, I can't imagine ever losing abdominal fat ever again! Omigas, must get back to fighting form by Christmas! Will possibly happen as I am hell-bent on breastfeeding and everyone tells me that that will absolutely shrink all the fat away.

Missed my breastfeeding class last weekend, though. Can't seem to wake up, get up or do anything anymore. I'm so heavy! And I really wanted to go to that class (unlike the Lamaze ones) because I hear this all the time from mommies: "I'd rather give birth again than breastfeed. Breastfeeding is so painful!" That is scaring me more than giving birth! So I resolved to go to a nursing class and--surprise! surprise!--I missed it. Thankfully, so many kind mommies have offered to be my breastfeeding coach, or just meet up so that they can support me because they say that the next few months (years!) will be tough and mommies must help each other. I almost cried because that mommy who said that to me, I haven't even met her yet!

Which reminds me... You know, this past weekend, I was feeling very sad because something happened that made me realize that this world is filled with mean, nasty, evil people. And here I am bringing a kid into this awful place. It's insanity really, on my part, to bring an innocent life into this evil world. And then I looked at my mommy blog and my Facebook wall and my emails and text messages, and I was reminded of the kindness of friends and even strangers who send me and my family lovely gifts and good will. People all over the world are sending my little family so much love!

So I really should have faith in the goodness of mankind and the beauty of life. Thank you for reminding me of that. God bless you all!