Tuesday, April 04, 2023

5 ways to support your child’s dreams

I got an article advising parents on ways to support your child's dreams and, being a mom of 3 myself, I decided to share it with my mama readers. I'll insert a few personal comments (in italics!) so watch for those. 

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The boy in white is mine! Chess club is his passion!

No two children are exactly alike. While some might share common interests or hobbies, their personalities and set of skills and talents are unique to them. One child may be talented in athletics, while others may be more inclined toward the arts.

Parents have the power to create an environment that will allow their children to discover their talents and interests. Parents can encourage them, help them grow, and direct their steps so they can reach their full potential through these 5 ways.

1. Pay attention and provide hands-on experiences.

Studies show that learning is enhanced when children are given the opportunity to select what they want to pursue. One way to spark a love for learning is to help your child discover and explore activities that interest them.

Expose your child to different experiences and use that moment to discover what he or she loves. Take them out to see a play, to a mom-and-me baking session, or even to visit an aquarium or zoo. You’ll be surprised to discover new things about your child just through these simple activities.

This is true. While I would love for my kids to follow my dreams (haha), I resolved very early on that it's their life, their interests, and their purpose I will support. I'm here to guide them and be alert to their talents and passions. That's the first thing I'm supposed to do as a mama of a future whatever-he-wants-to-be, fully realized man!

2. Provide resources to hone your child's talents

Once you have discovered your child's inclinations, providing the necessary resources will help them grow to their utmost potential.

If your child is talented in photography, you can nurture his or her gift by letting them experiment with a toy camera or by trying out phone photography. Enrolling in a summer course may also help as your child will receive further guidance from a professional while making good use of their free time.

Sometimes, what your child wants isn't what you want. How many of us have horror stories of our parents forcing us to take up hobbies, classes, and courses we abhorred? Well, I almost became that parent, too. Remember when I blogged about how I made my son's dream come true? His dream was to become a gaming and coding vlogger. I didn't approve. But I paid for coding classes and helped set him up his YouTube channel. His Papa bought him his own laptop, too. Now he's taking advanced coding drawing classes. 

I don't really understand it but I've realized that sometimes I don't have to understand my child's dream. I just need to support it. Understanding may come later. It doesn't matter. What my child needs is my support.

3. Reinforce talent through praise and encouragement

Acknowledging your children’s talents gives them a sense of self-efficacy and encourages growth. By using praise, you are motivating your child to think positively about what he or she has accomplished. You are helping your child learn when they do well, and when to be proud of it.

Like I said, I don't understand but I fully support my kids' dreams and passions! Chess club? Okay! Piano? Okay! Books? Okay! Video games? Well... fine, I'll support it and I hope this makes you money one day haha. 

Of course, we don't just buy them everything they want. I've told them again and again that we will provide as long as they work hard. It's not enough that they're interested. I mean, I was interested in watercolor painting, too, during the pandemic. Bought paints, brushes, special paper. One month after my supplies came, I lost interest! So with my kids, I agree to buy them materials or classes but only after they've convinced me that this is more than just a passing fancy.
  
4. Know when to push and when to hold back

One of the most challenging things for parents is witnessing a child on the verge of giving up on something they love doing. Honing your child’s skills takes a lot of time and effort, and sometimes it could also put an unnecessary burden on your child to be good at it right away.

Know when it’s time to encourage more and when it’s time to let go. If you feel your child is undergoing great amounts of stress and frustration, it could be time for you to assess and take control of the situation. After all, no pursuit of talent and skill should ever come before your child’s emotional and mental well-being.

I'm more relaxed at this compared to my husband. But I do push when time has passed and I see no improvement in skill. While I agree that no hobby, passion, or training should harm anyone's mental health, remember that I let them choose this. I didn't pressure them into something they didn't want so I expect them to show mastery or at least some progress in the activity they were certain they wanted to pursue. So I will let them have mental health day offs, but it's important that they don't give up. 

5. Prepare for and secure your child’s future

Every parent has an important responsibility to provide for their children's future and to encourage them to pursue as many of their interests and skills. Apart from the guidance they get at home, education plays a crucial role in honing your child. But sometimes, financial stability becomes a challenge in providing for your child’s educational needs. This is where planning ahead is important, not just to secure funds for tuition fees, but more importantly, to ensure that your child’s future is protected should anything happen to you.

We're done with this! As soon as we had babies, we made sure each of them had an insurance plan that will help them if something bad happens to us, if they want to use that money for a business or for a wedding, or if they choose to claim it for early retirement! 

One of the ways to prepare for your child’s education is to invest in a comprehensive insurance plan like MyLifeChoice for Education, a flexible insurance and investment plan from the leading insurance company, AXA Philippines.

With this plan, you can build your child’s education fund while having peace of mind with the plan’s life insurance coverage that lets you customize up to 25x your basic premium. It also comes with the Bright Rider Plus feature that provides yearly lumpsum payouts should you pass on, which can be used to co-fund your child’s tuition and other educational expenses.

It also comes with built-in accident coverage and a waiver of premium benefits, which means that you will receive cash benefits when you encounter injuries caused by an accident. In the event of permanent disablement, future premium payments will be waived so you can just focus on your recovery.

MyLifeChoice for Education also allows you to choose from a variety of professionally managed local and global funds that let you create a personalized portfolio that matches your investment profile. On the first day of your plan, you will also be rewarded with an additional investment amount via the Start-up Bonus, which is equal to 70% of your first-year basic premium. Potential gains will be added to your savings at the end of policy years 10, 15, and 25 when you invest in the long term with no withdrawals, missed payments, or payment breaks.

“As with all caring adults, education is a crucial stage to develop a child's interests and build them up for their future careers. While this may take time and substantial resources, this is where your trusted insurance partner, AXA Philippines, comes in. Through our MyLifeChoice for Education product, you are empowered to pursue your goals and those of your children with peace of mind,” said Nandy Villar, AXA Philippines Chief Customer Officer.

For more information or to get a personalized quote, visit axa.com.ph/mylifechoice/education.

Friday, March 31, 2023

Celebrating ME!

Happy Women's Month! It's been a very busy month for me - as a wife, mommy (this role is neverending), sister, working woman, and biological woman (yep, went to see my gynecologist!) ❤️ 

8 AM selfie at the office!

All month I've been seeing special women everywhere being celebrated. The important kind of woman. You know, CEOs, presidents, big positions with big bucks attached. And yes, I fully, wholeheartedly agree women like that need to be visible and celebrated so that little girls and young women can aspire to be more and older women can appreciate the power and influence a woman can achieve and yield. This is important. 

But I also want to honor women who aren't big guns, but are making small and great changes every day with their marriages, children, families, workplaces, and communities. You know, women like me! And you! I want to honor and celebrate me. And you! For getting up every day, even though there is no public acclaim for the invisible work that we do. Except on Mother's Day!😜

I'm not putting myself down by saying I'm unimportant. That's not true. I'm very valuable. Just ask my husband and kids! I've made a difference in many people's lives. Just ask my dear Loyal Readers!

In fact, I'm very proud of myself. I never thought I'd end up here - with a loving husband that I adore and with three incredible sons who adore me! I have a career rooted in words, and with a blog and a book that have influenced many, many women. It's not a huge career. I'm still not filthy rich. I'm still not famous. Then again, superstar, super rich and famous was never the goal so I know why that hasn't happened. Yes, I believe if I really wanted that, I could achieve it but that has never been what I wanted. What I do have now is more than enough, more than the little girl that I was ever imagined.

I realized in the middle of this month for women that I'm the kind of woman my younger self looked up to. I may not be what a lot of people like - I can be too much, I can be not enough - but I'm what 13-year-old me, 18-year-old me, and 22-year-old me hoped to know and wanted to be. Ain't that grand? And I'm just so happy knowing I didn't disappoint those young girls that I used to be. They were searching so badly for a role model and because there were none (hence the importance of celebrating women achievers!), I molded myself into the woman I always wanted to be. And I turned out even better than all the versions of me hoped and dreamed!

Oh, wait. Okay, fine. Not one of the younger versions of me wanted to be a wife and mommy! They'd writhe in horror if they knew, but have I got a story to tell them! But I won't tell young me. Some stories need to be lived. Some lessons need to be learned. Some destinies need to be stumbled upon. And sometimes the path you avoid is the path that leads you to where you're meant to be 🥰

I'm a happy, fulfilled woman. And yet I know that I still haven't reached my full potential. It's not that I'm unsatisfied. I've done more than young me ever thought I was capable of! But the older me, the me now, knows I can still do more! 

I'm only 46.

I'm already 46. 

More books to write? New roles to take on? New paths to discover? I'm so open to the possibilities!

It's so exciting to be in a marriage, in a time, and in a world that I created so painstakingly, that allows me to withdraw and expand myself whenever I need to. So many women - in this day and age - still don't have choices. 

And I hope women like us - women who broke free of generational curses, women who broke the mold we were placed in, women who fought to be what their younger selves dreamed to be - can keep telling our stories and claiming our spaces. We may not be hugely successful in the eyes of the world but we overcame so much to be where we are today. And we need to celebrate that!

Happy Women's Month! May you be the woman your younger self will want to be!

Monday, March 06, 2023

6 Best Luxury Hotels Recommendations in Sentosa Island

I have many happy memories of Singapore. It's possibly my favorite city in the world after Manila. It's like London (my third favorite city) but tropical like Manila. And everything is just a thousand times better when the weather is summer all year round! And, like, Manila, the food and shopping is sooo good! That's Singapore! I still use the pewter bowl I made at Royal Selangor as my catchall for my everyday jewelry. Every time I take off my earrings and rings, I remember Singapore. So now that my boys are vaccinated against COVID-19, I'm hoping we could go to Singapore soon! 


So here's a thorough guest article on Singapore hotels in Sentosa. Sentosa is a 500-hectare island located off the south coast of Singapore and a very popular tourist attraction. Previously, Sentosa was a British military stronghold tasked with protecting the port of Singapore. After the Japanese Occupation in World War II, Singapore returned to British rule, and the island was named "Sentosa" which translates to "peace and tranquility".

If you want to enjoy nature tourism, you can visit Siloso Beach and Palawan Beach. Here you can relax or play on the beach at a very affordable cost. Apart from that, you can also visit Fort Siloso which is a war fort built in the 19th century. Here you can see various war equipment used at that time and get to know more about the history of Singapore.

Don't forget to visit the Sentosa Merlion, one of the famous symbols of Sentosa Island. Here you can see the Merlion statue which is located right on the beach with a beautiful view. Apart from that, you can also visit Tiger Sky Tower, one of the largest amusement parks on Sentosa Island. Here you can climb the tower which is at a height of 110 meters and enjoy the beautiful view from the top of the tower.

On Sentosa Island, there are also many accommodations such as hotels and resorts. You can find many Sentosa hotels that offer great services and facilities. Below are recommendations for several hotels on Sentosa Island that you can try. Check out the full reviews below.
 
Hotels For Holiday Trip in Sentosa Island

1. Resorts World Sentosa – Hard Rock Hotel

The first hotel recommendation on Sentosa Island is the ideal luxury hotel, Hard Rock Hotel Sentosa Singapore, the right choice for travelers like you.

This resort is directly integrated with Sentosa Island. It's also close to Universal Studios, Jurassic World, aquarium attractions, and so on. The facilities provided at this resort include spacious and comfortable rooms, an outdoor swimming pool, a spa, a fitness center, and a restaurant serving international cuisine.

Around this resort, there are also many entertainment venues, such as playgrounds, maze parks, and water parks. In addition, this resort also provides water sports activities, such as jet skiing, water soccer, and so on.

Address: 8 Sentosa Gateway 098269 Singapore



2. Shangri-La Singapore

This beachside resort will enliven your vacation even more. The rooms at this resort are elegantly designed, comfortable, and equipped with the best facilities. You can choose a room with a sea or garden view, according to your preference.

At this resort, you can also enjoy various interesting activities such as snorkeling, jet skiing, or fishing. You can also enjoy the nightlife on the beach, or try delicious dishes at the restaurants in this resort.

If you want to enjoy a quieter atmosphere, you can visit the spa at this resort. Here, you can enjoy various treatment packages that will make you feel refreshed after having a great holiday.

Address: Shangri-La's Rasa Sentosa Resort & Spa, 101 Siloso Road. 098970 Singapura



3. Capella Singapore

Guests staying at this 5-star hotel will be offered a choice of comfortable and luxurious rooms. There are standard rooms, suite rooms, and executive rooms which are all equipped with the expected amenities.

The hotel also has fun recreational facilities, such as an outdoor swimming pool, spa, and fitness center. For dinner, guests can enjoy delicious food at the hotel's famous restaurant with international cuisine.

For those wishing to hold a business event, this 5-star hotel also provides spacious meeting rooms complete with presentation facilities. In addition, guests can also enjoy free wifi service throughout the hotel.

Address: 1 The Knolls Sentosa Island, Sentosa Island, 098297 Singapura



4. Sofitel Singapore Sentosa Resort & Spa

Sofitel Singapore Sentosa Resort & Spa is a 5-star hotel offering beautiful views of the South China Sea. In addition, this hotel also provides spa services that will pamper you after a day of work or relaxing at the beach. The rooms at this hotel are also quite spacious and so luxurious, and equipped with modern facilities such as a flat-screen television and speedy internet access.

If you want to enjoy the beauty of the sea, you can visit the beach around the hotel which is famous for its fine white sand. You can also enjoy water activities such as snorkeling.

Visit the shopping center which is located not far from the hotel. In addition, there are many tourist attractions that can be visited around the hotel, such as Universal Studios Singapore, S.E.A. Aquariums, and many more.

Address: 2 Bukit Manis Road, Sentosa (Sentosa Island) 099891 Singapura



5. Amara Sanctuary Resort Sentosa

The next recommended resort on Sentosa Island is Amara Sanctuary. This hotel has the best service and facilities for every guest.

The facilities available at Amara Sanctuary are a fitness center, spa, restaurant, and outdoor swimming pool. You can also enjoy the beautiful scenery around this resort from the rooms that are open to the entire resort.

This resort also provides a wide range of stay package options, from weekend packages to honeymoon packages. If you are looking for a romantic place for a vacation with your partner, Amara Sanctuary can be the right choice.

Address: 1 Larkhill Road, Sentosa, Sentosa Island, 099394 Singapore.



6. Oasia Resort Sentosa By Far East Hospitality Singapore (formerly Le Méridien Singapore)

This 5-star hotel has many facilities ranging from a fitness center, and swimming pool, to a restaurant. Not only that, but Oasia Resort Sentosa also has spacious and comfortable rooms and is equipped with complete facilities such as a flat-screen TV, internet access, minibar, and so on. Guests staying at this hotel will also be pampered with friendly and professional service from the hotel staff.

Oasia is perfect for tourists who want to enjoy their holidays with luxurious facilities and services. In addition, the hotel's location close to tourist attractions makes this hotel the right choice for tourists who want to explore the area. So, if you want to stay in a hotel that has the best facilities and services, then this hotel is the right choice for you.

Address: 23 Beach View, Sentosa, Sentosa Island, 098679 Singapore



Those are some recommendations for star hotels on Sentosa Island. Find various other hotel options on Traveloka. On Traveloka, you can also find recommendations for tourist attractions on Sentosa Island. Visit Traveloka now to get various attractive promos and discounts.

Sunday, March 05, 2023

Job hunting tips for moms going back to the workforce

A stay-at-home mom DM'd me asking how it was looking for a job after 10 years as a work-from-home mom, and I was honest. I said it was disheartening.

There was one HR person who kept asking me what my college course was and how it was relevant to the editing job they advertised. And I said, "Look, I'm 46 years old. College was a lifetime ago. In college, I wrote erotica. That's sex stories. I wasted my time and my mother's money. But I have more than 20 years' experience as a writer and editor, even when I was - as you like to bring up - unemployed. That wealth of experience is what you should be asking me about."

Don't let HR discourage you. They ask from a list of questions. That list also told me they didn't even read the CV and sample work I sent. So just keep emphasizing your skills and experience. Downplay whatever flaw they find (in my case, being a devoted mommy was my flaw). 


And don't be desperate, I guess. It's hard not to feel desperate and discouraged but it makes you panic and not think. I was getting really sad! Then I remembered my self-worth is not tied to any job. So I just opened myself up to anything! And now I have a job in an industry I'd never been in! 

Oh, that job earlier? I got the job. But I turned them down because of the low offer. Because I was "unemployed" for 10 years, even as I insisted I earned more money as a freelancer than any job ever (including my current one) 🙄

So, yeah, job hunting sucked but I'm happy with the job I did get. So if you're looking for a job, just don't quit. Tell people you're looking. Don't be shy. People will help but they need to know you need help.

And, yep, I'm still working as a freelancer and blogger. Still getting offers to write and edit. And do other things I've never done before! And I'm in the middle of 2 books, too. Exciting!

So getting past HR can be tough (I really wish they come in AFTER the department manager shortlists you), but don't be discouraged.

Tell everyone you know you need a job. Don't be ashamed to say it. I was, for 3 months, and so I bounced around unhappily. The minute I posted on Facebook that I needed a job, my inbox was flooded with offers to help. People want to help. Just ask for it 😊

Good luck!!!

"You have not because you ask not." James 4:2

Wednesday, February 22, 2023

Tuition fees are going up. Good luck to our budget!

I went back to the corporate world this year after 10 years as a freelancer/business owner and I got asked a couple of times if I got tired of the hustle culture. Partly yes, but mostly because I have 3 kids to educate and tuition is crazy expensive and needs to be paid quarterly. Unfortunately, when you’re a freelancer, the income is erratic. Sometimes, it pours when it rains. Most of the time, it’s dry season. And that's the real reason I got a regular job with a regular income. It allows me to create a budget for their education. 

I wrote an article for Wyeth ParenTeam, 5 Steps to Save for Your Child's College Tuition. It has an equation there that predicts tuition years and years from now. It’s all estimates but you get a good idea of how much you’re going to suffer and for how long hahahaaa huhuhu.

The equation goes: Current tuition multiplied by 1 plus Interest [P x (1+I)] raised to number of years (N).

In my article, the financial expert I interviewed said, “On your phone, just type 300,000 x 1.10 then press the equal sign 8 times. We have just projected that if tuition fees increase by 10% a year for 8 years, then Php 300,000 today will be around Php 644,000 in 8 years, or around Php 778,000 in 10 years.”

That's where I spent 4.5 years of my life, the College of Arts & Letters

Boy. Almost a million pesos for one year in college. A short-term financial solution is to get a loan. My mother got tuition loans from her job all the time so she could send our eldest brother to school. My and my younger brother’s education was free (thank you, Philippine taxpayers!) while my younger sister’s education wasn’t that expensive either. All our college was subsidized because we went to that state university in Diliman (thank you again, Philippine taxpayers!) so Mama didn’t have to borrow so much anymore.

Some schools accept credit card payments but that’s something I want to stay away from because I was a credit card-aholic (but my marriage saved me). Plus, credit card interest rates are jumping this March! College tuition is just too big an amount to put on a card.

I’m not going to think of college because we already have a college fund for them (that’s another solution: invest in a mutual fund or an insurance policy with regular endowment payouts!). Also, I’m hoping my boys go to my alma mater and be a scholar like me.

So let’s just compute for high school since my kids are 12, 10, and 8. Let’s do my eldest son’s tuition. So his Grade 6 tuition now is Php 150,000. So if tuition increases by 10%, I’ll need to pay Php 165,000 for 7th grade. That means my tuition budget is Php 13,750 a month for a year. Doable!

But then I have 2 more kids. That means Php 495,000 a year. That’s okay. I just need to set aside Php 41,250 every month. Thanks to my new job, this is still doable.

Now my kids go to a school near our place so we don’t spend a lot of money on the school run. Not a lot of time on the road either. It’s a big deal because they used to go to another school just 5 kms away and the school bus service cost me an additional Php 9,000 a month (or Php 90,000 a school year). Plus an hour and 2 hours in traffic, morning and afternoon respectively. Transferring to a nearer school made such a huge difference in time and money saved!

But then here comes the crazy part: We’re thinking of sending our boys to that boys’ school in Katipunan. We have our reasons although they pale after I tell you this: That school is almost 12 kilometers away from our home and difficult to get to because traffic to and fro is hellish. Since my husband also has a full-time job, he won’t be able to do the school run (he can do this now because our current school is very near).

So if the boys go to that boys’ school, we’ll have to get them a bus service. I asked my friend who lives near me how much she pays for her son’s bus service from our city to that school. A whopping Php 10,000 a month! That’s Php 100,000 x 3 = Php 300,000 a year just on the school service!

I don’t think I can afford Php 495,000 tuition + books + uniforms + baon + Php 300,000 bus service, mommies. It's just illogical. 

So we were prepared enough to save for college but I don’t know if we can even get them there because grade school and high school are so damn pricey! 

Lots of thinking to do.

*Photo by Kat Fernandez on Unsplash