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Friday, March 27, 2009

The vain don't complain, right?

Part of my job is to test the latest offerings of beauty products, spas and health centers. While that sounds cool, most of the time, I just dread it.

Recently, the editors and I were at the launch of L'Oreal Professionel's latest hair colors--green, blue and purple. You read that right. That's Robbie of L'Oreal Professional who successfully convinced Kat of Good Housekeeping to dye her hair blue. She bravely did it. She did not like it since a few days later, her hair turned gray. Robbie, if you're reading this, don't worry: I will try the purple! It looks rich. But I'll do that when I get tired of my current red.

Hair is okay, though. I'll do anything to my hair since it grows out anyway. It's the other things I worry about. One time I was in this super posh spa about to test their new massage techniques by therapists especially imported from some European country. I do not exaggerate when I say that my therapist almost broke my neck. The whole right side of my head felt tingly for the next two days.

Then I just tested this new facial that uses chocolate to moisturize your skin. Well, my face did feel soft and supple but the chocolate was also absorbed and I looked dark for two days! I exfoliated like crazy because my face was darker than the rest of me.

And now I'm being offered to do a colonic cleanse. This treatment is said to flush out bacteria and toxins from your system resulting to clearer skin, less allergies, fresher breath, and a general lightness of being. Still, just reading up on it makes my tummy turn. I don't like the idea of things going up my butt and I like my bacteria a lot, thank you very much!

Ack, I really don't want to do this colonic cleanse! Yes, editors aren't really very excited to try out stuff. I have a beauty editor friend who had the skin of her butt burned off--she could not sit for weeks... but when the burned skin peeled off, no more stretch marks! Another editor had orange skin for a week because of a tanning session gone wrong. Yikes!

So if you're from Manila and can write extremely well, why don't you drop me an email at frances.amper@summitmedia.com.ph and volunteer to test out things? Just as long as you don't sue us in case your face becomes dark, your hair turns gray or you break your neck!

Maybe I'll just drink cod liver oil, eat more oatmeal and veggies and try taking Colonix in the meantime.

13 comments:

  1. Is this for real Ms Frances? I am so tempted to volunteer heehee! :D

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  2. lmao that is so funny! the things you never really think about because it all sounds so glam!

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  3. Me!Me!Yan eh kung papasa ang writing style ko. (lol) edit mo nalang :-) I could also use a tip or two. Basta pang beauty and wellness stuff, game ako. Content din yan sa KikayCorner.net if ever.

    You know where to find me :D

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  4. i'd volunteer if i live in manila.... : )

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  5. haha, if I lived in Manila, I'd so be volunteering, I'll try anything once.

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  6. Bucca, I have more horror stories. Believe me!

    TwistedHalo, ya! May interview pa yan and writing exercises muna though...

    Jen, send me the resume first! It won't be me who'll be assigning kasi.

    SavvyMode and DaisyChain, it would be interesting to work with ya actually!

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  7. Hi Frances. I visit your blog often, but I missed this post. I'll send you a private message.

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  8. I badly need a beauty treatment. But I'm just a writer wannabe. Practice muna and then I'll send you what I can come up with. I'm brave about trying out new procedures pero Hiya ako about writing... ;)

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  9. btw, when's the deadline? :)

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  10. Well, Tani, I am very strict about writing, like I go ballistic when I spot something wrong haha. You write well naman, no, but ya, send me writing samples and I'll give them to my fashion and beauty team.

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  11. Hi Frances. Thanks for visiting my blog. I have the Wedding Essentials magazine where your wedding was featured. And when I was surfing the internet, I chanced upon your blog and saw you blogged about your wedding as well. I love your wedding pictures. I love your wedding! You look so radiant! Both you and your groom were all-smiles. I can just imagine you two during your bridal march all warm and excited. :)
    Bonus na lang finding out that you're the EIC of OK! Magazine pala. You saying I "write well naman" means a whole lot. I love OK! I have some issues. Those I don't have, I've read elsewhere like salons, doctor's offices, friends' living rooms, etc.
    About writing you so that I can be a beauty treatment test subject, paghahandaan ko talaga yan. Right now, I don't know how to start. :) I'm waiting to be inspired.

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  12. oh my. this reminds me of all the treatments i've tried, especially the weight loss ones! there was one that 'crunched' my tummy for me, while i was just lying down, and i tell you, i cringed each time! it was sooo uncomfortable, like a dozen roaches were dancing on your sides, with a little bit of zap... it's still an article waiting to be written. haha.

    but so far, the only thing that lasted is this effing cauterization - and it was not even a review, i paid for the effing thing! i still have marks on my face. :(

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  13. Ri! What do you mean you "still have marks"? I just had my face and neck zapped!!!

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