Sunday, May 29, 2022

Embrace! Comfy & Stylish Pregnant Mama Staples from Love, Bonito

First, a disclaimer - I'm not pregnant! But I was pregnant three times, and those years were just the start of maternity fashion here in the Philippines. For my first pregnancy, I either had to buy larger sizes, buy from abroad, or carefully choose dresses and tops that I could pull down or unbutton quickly for breastfeeding. 

Thankfully, many maternity style brands have been born since then and Love, Bonito is one of the brands that I'm sure many preggy mommies would love! Yes, I have a #momfind post again! 


Love, Bonito is committed to creating thoughtful designs that address the needs of a woman’s life, whatever stage she may be in. Its newest Embrace collection is just perfect. They look comfortable, durable, stylish, and fuss-free. Whether a mama is going to the clinic for her prenatal checkups then shopping at the mall for baby's needs to caring for her newborn at home and out with family and friends, she can be sure to look blooming and feel fabulous. That's because Love, Bonito designed Embrace with ultra-soft and breathable fabrics like soft Tencel, lightweight muslin, breathable linen and high-stretch knit. Plus, with maternity-specific details to accommodate the growing belly and breasts as well as nursing-friendly styles for breastfeeding moms, any new mama will embrace everything in the Embrace lineup!


I have many likes but the Zaynie Maternity Nursing Tencel Button Dress in Navy Blue is a top favorite. Why? You can wear it pregnant, nursing, and waaaaay after! That makes it so versatile and flexible. Definitely a sulit buy! I actually want to buy this even though I'm not pregnant, mostly because I never quite lost my preggy belly haha


Another favorite is the Fariya Maternity Nursing Linen Elastic Dress. Not only do I adore the linen fabric, it also has zippers on both sides making your boobies easily accessible for baby! This comes in navy, too, but I love the laid-back beachy feel of the white.
 

Embrace also has tops and shorts, and I love the happy orange of the Teryn Maternity Nursing Muslin Elastic Top. It just brings out a mama's glow! The muslin, the breezy style, and the wide straps all spell comfort, plus the ruching at the back will accommodate your growing body.

There you go! My mom find for May - a lovely Mother's Day find, too. If you're pregnant now, I am so excited for you, mama. You have the best kind of adventure ahead of you, one that will be extremely exhausting because it will demand your all, but the love that you'll find is incomparable. Why not go through the journey in style and comfort? Enjoy these years!

Love, Bonito’s Embrace collection is available online at https://www.lovebonito.com/intl.

Tuesday, May 24, 2022

16 sweet years


Oh hey, I just realized today, May 24, is the 16th anniversary of Topaz Horizon. Here's a photo from that year. That's me with our bunny wabbits, Galadriel and Gandalf.

I was bored in 2006, so I started a nonsense blog where I dumped all my silly thoughts about being a managing editor of a magazine, shopping for second-hand everything on eBay, taking care of rabbits, and being in love. Remember when blogs were just brain dumps with dark, grainy photos like that above? The olden days.

My blog's changed a lot since. I got engaged, got married, moved into a new home, got a plum career, lost it later, the bunnies died, my mother died, I had babies, I became part of this slick new world of influencers then I tired of its vanity quickly, then I had writing/editing/PR jobs here and there, lost myself, found myself, my father died, I wrote a book, I'm now writing a new one, my kids are growing up, my marriage is still doing great (even better!)... Wow, crammed the last 16 years in one sentence. 

Last week, I was going through this blog and let me tell you that I cringed at my early posts. I was young, I was shallow, I was selfish. Of course, middle-aged me would cringe. But I would never tell the younger me to change. Because even in my youth and selfishness, I also had nuggets of wisdom there. But I was so honest, I was cruel. The years have taught me to be compassionate and kind, especially when I'm right.

And maybe that's why I haven't been blogging so much anymore. I like to keep stuff to myself. So much of our lives are shared online now. I always shared my thoughts but carefully chose what parts of my life to share. Even 16 years ago, in the infancy of social media, I instinctively knew I had to keep huge parts of myself to myself. And though I believe everyone should say what they want to say, I also now know that we shouldn't.

The world has changed so much since 2006. Everyone has a platform and to my dismay, everyone uses their platform for hate or self-love. I don't know if this is the world I want to move in. Retreat, retreat.

But I still want to blog. I love it too much. And I will miss you so. You have been such good friends, growing up with me. Thank you always for your kindness, understanding, advice, and correction. I wouldn't know where I'd be without my Dear Loyal Readers. If you've stayed all these 16 years, my goodness, God bless you! I know some of you have left (especially when I decided not to be a mommy blogger anymore) and that's okay. I have never wanted people to stay when they think it's time to move on. I don't like dragging out relationships. But for the times you were here, I delighted in it. Thank you! Some of you are new and so you know the mommy me or the kind me or the wise me. I hope you don't read the early posts of this blog then haha. 

Anyway, 16 years is a long time. I never thought I'd be blogging this long. And maybe I won't for a while. I have three not-so-little boys whose needs may not be so urgent anymore but they need me just the same. I have a marriage that I savor so much, it's so much better now than ever and I just want to spend more time with my husband (we're so busy with work and school and home that we have to snatch our moments together!). And I want to write more books! My Not Invisible book gave me so much joy. I want to feel that always. Thank you to everyone who bought my book! I love you all!

I'm getting sentimental. I'm 45. We met when I was turning 30. Imagine that! Thank you. You are the friends I always wanted. Such a gift to me who always had a hard time making friends. I will count each of you a blessing and may the love you gave me and my family come back to you a hundred times forever.  

Friday, May 20, 2022

Don't be afraid. Don't be apathetic. A brave and bright future still awaits!

I don't remember being this heartbroken, ever. Any heartbreak I've felt before is mine alone. This devastation I feel is for the Philippines. If grief means love, then this is good news. I must really love my country. But I'm sure everyone who went out of their way to vote last May 9 - to suffer long lines, intense heat, crowds in the time of a global pandemic, hunger, and hours and hours of waiting - also loved our country. We just showed different ways to love it. 

My love was formed by a bloody past, which I hoped never to see in my children's future. But things didn't turn out the way I hoped and I am in such a dark place of fear. No funny TikTok reel or nostalgic YouTube video from the team that ran away with the elections can comfort me because they are empty entertainment. 

Thankfully, I read this letter by Emmanuel S de Dios, Professor at the UP School of Economics, to his class. And my heart is comforted. And I can love my countrymen again, yes, even the ones who voted differently, because we are all in one boat and we need to work together if we're ever going to get anywhere. I'm copying it here, for me to read again in case I ever lose that love again.


Dear Class,

I realise how some of you must feel disoriented, disappointed, defeated, and depressed after witnessing the results of the elections just past. In many ways what you have just witnessed is a turning point in our country’s history as a nation, although probably not the one that many of us had hoped for. This will be evident especially for you who are taking this course dealing with the history of martial law and the economy. After all, the point of this course and your being enrolled in it was to learn from history so that we would not repeat it.

We thought we could dream bigger and better; that we could escape and fly farther. But the dead hand of the past has pulled us back into the shadows—for now.

I don’t mind sharing with you that I too feel this is one of the saddest days I have experienced since I was a student and martial law was declared. The reason is not just simply that the better candidate lost—a rare individual whom I personally know to be untainted by corruption and who acts only on the purest motive of selflessly serving our people. More painful for me is the realisation that a great majority of our people are vulnerable and have fallen prey to myths, half-truths, and outright lies. For this last ultimately means partly my own failure.

The blame is partly on me and my generation that we have not chopped off that monstrous hand of the past; that we failed to fully exorcise those ghosts that now haunt the minds of the majority. We tried but failed; or perhaps we did not try hard enough and long enough, especially in the face of an enemy that was smarter at using new weapons. The mere late existence and necessity of this course you are enrolled in is emblematic of that failure, which now forces us to watch as our children weep in the gloom of their dashed hopes. For this, I must ask your forgiveness on behalf of my generation.

But what can or should we do when faced with the impending rule of a resurrection of the Marcos family? I can process this the only way I know how: through reason and social science, guided by ethics and empathy. There are two things we should not do: be afraid or be apathetic.

We should not be afraid or be cowed because even now we remain a free people. Neither social conditions, nor our institutions, nor the character of the younger Marcos are such that we have been brought back to 1972. We can thank the achievements of all the post-Marcos administrations that have slowly rebuilt the foundations of an economy with sound macroeconomic fundamentals than the ruined one Marcos left behind; we can thank the 1987 constitution, its bill of rights, and our long tradition of civil engagement for the safeguards and checks to the emergence of would-be dictators. And finally, we can even, I suppose, be grateful for the lack of character and vision of Junior Marcos, who lacks the sinister genius of his father that allowed the latter to deviously manipulate our country onto the path of dictatorship and debt. All of these are factors that favor a future beyond the present gloom.

Make no mistake: there will be attempts to curtail our freedoms and liberties. There will be no shortage of sycophants, clowns, and stooges who will try to outdo themselves in seeking to silence legitimate voices of freedom and criticism through “red-tagging”; to prevent diversity of thought through attempts to rewrite history in the textbooks and through an intensification of social media campaigns that amplify the lies glorifying the Marcos family and their rule.

There will be impending abuses of public power for private gain: attempts of the Marcos family to claim large swathes of the economy for themselves and to reward old and new cronies, who are now free to come out of the woodwork and feel entitled to a share of the spoils of a Marcos victory; there will be concessions of our patrimony to foreign powers that have bet heavily on an administration that supinely compromises national interest.

At every moment we should not be afraid to call out and resist these—because we remain free and it is within our rights to be so and to act accordingly. Remember this is not 1972. You cannot remain afraid or be apathetic because there is both the need and the opportunity to combat the past wrongs that have plagued our society as well as the new ones that are about to overlay them. Your knowledge and creativity can slowly reverse the poison that has taken hold of the minds of the many. Your effort and enthusiasm can turn back attempts to return to the days of grand corruption, cronyism, and injustice.

Before you can do any of this, however, remember first of all to be kind to yourself. Mend your spirit, recharge your brains, strengthen your hearts. Spend time on the things over which you have control and which give you simple pleasures; seek the company of family members or friends who will be a source of comfort. Devote time to improving your personal health, your mental and physical skills, your cultural perspective. Only when you feel good enough about yourself can you even begin to think about helping other people— and beyond that, the country.

Objectively, our true loss and that of the country is not having the luxury of being able to take our freedoms for granted and of being allowed to devote ourselves fully to lives that are perhaps more leisurely, less inconvenienced, or more directly productive. The common soil of truth we planted with young seed is in danger of being dug up. The imperfect house of institutions we were building painstakingly is at risk of being wrenched apart. What we thought we had for sure is now threatened. This is why we must act.

But think of it this way: the burden and sacrifice required of us is still nowhere as great as that of earlier generations. Take heart that we are, after all, not being called upon to risk our lives to gain freedom, as in 1896, or the Second World War, or the years of dictatorship. How you contribute will be as varied as your personalities, skills, and circumstances will allow: from joining various organisations and volunteer organisations to help the poor neglected by government; to speaking out and correcting lies on social media; to standing your ground against anomalies if you happen to be in government; to practising your profession honestly amid material challenges to your morals; down to simply discussing with friends and family in the hope they might find their way to the truth. Means will differ but goals will coincide.

We are called upon not to fight for freedoms which are being denied us, or which do not yet exist. We are asked only to defend the freedoms we already have by using them to the full. It is by not using them that we risk losing them.

With sincere hopes for your brave and bright future,

E.S.D.
13 May 2022


Hay, Pilipinas kong mahal. I needed to be reminded that our constitution exists, na kahit na halos binabalewala na siya, andyan pa rin siya, guarding our freedoms and guiding our way forward. And there is a way forward. Naniniwala pa rin ako sa sinulat ni Jose Rizal sa El Filibusterismo more than 130 years ago:

"Ah, you don’t know what we can do in a few years," replied [Isagani]. "You don’t realize the energy and enthusiasm that are awakening in the country after the sleep of centuries. Spain heeds us; our young men in Madrid are working day and night, dedicating to the fatherland all their intelligence, all their time, all their strength. Generous voices there are mingled with ours, statesmen who realize that there is no better bond than community of thought and interest. Justice will be meted out to us, and everything points to a brilliant future for all. 

"It’s true that we’ve just met with a slight rebuff, we students, but victory is rolling along the whole line, it is in the consciousness of all! The traitorous repulse that we have suffered indicates the last gasp, the final convulsions of the dying. Tomorrow we shall be citizens of the Philippines, whose destiny will be a glorious one, because it will be in loving hands. Ah, yes, the future is ours! I see it rose-tinted, I see the movement that stirs the life of these regions so long dead, lethargic."

Mabuhay ang Pilipinas! Mahal na mahal pa rin kita.

Photo by Anastasiia Malai on Unsplash