Can I make kwento—a weird little story? But don’t get scared. Sa tanda kong ito, marami na akong napagdaanan. Recently, I realized something that makes me curious. It’s weird. But maybe it’s nothing. You decide.
People who have hurt me in the past ended up dying difficult, natural deaths—stroke, lingering illness, slow decline. I had nothing to do with it. Matagal ko na silang napatawad. And yet... how odd, right?
I take no pleasure in their horrible deaths. I never wished it. But I remembered that when I was struggling to forgive them—kasi ang sakit-sakit talaga ng ginawa nila sa akin—this Bible verse always gave me comfort: “Do not look for revenge but leave room for the wrath; for it is written, ‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.’” (Romans 12:19). Leaving it in God’s hands has allowed me to let go of the pain, forgive, and move on.
And then… I started noticing the pattern.
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| My Lolo Manong, Lola Auring, Papa and Mama. They're gone now. But they made sure to warn me about gabâ. |
My parents and grandparents are from Leyte and Samar. They call it gabâ.
“Ang gabâ dili magsaba.”
Retribution doesn’t announce itself. It just comes. It is inevitable.
My Lola used to say that even if you forgive, the universe still needs to balance the wrong. Kaya daw dapat maging mabait ako. Because even if I repent, the universe will demand justice. Scary, no?
Anyway! I don’t wish anyone harm. But I find myself watching, wondering, waiting—how the story of four more people who hurt me deeply will eventually unfold. Four more people I'm now looking at with trepidation. Because if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s this: gabâ always comes.
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Eerily, we have the same experience. One died of cancer, and the other had brain tumor.
ReplyDeleteI noticed kasi may list ako, parang si Arya from Game of Thrones. A list of people who have hurt me. And that list is slowly getting crossed out and I see how they died and... there are 4 people left on that list. I'm kinda afraid for them =(
Deletethen i think of JPE and RRD and how many people they've hurt badly... well, the wicked may prosper in this life but there's still the life to come
ReplyDeleteI think of so many, many people. The obviously evil ones. The ones who hurt, steal, abuse, rape, plunder, kill. Bakit parang sila nakaka-escape? There has to be a hell for them.
DeleteI also think of how I've hurt people, too. And pray that I don't die terribly. I can accept that for myself, but I don't want my family to witness that. So pwera gabá talaga please!
ReplyDelete