Thursday, March 29, 2018

Pros & Cons of Returning to a Former Relationship

Marriage, or rather the failure of it, is quite the topic these days. Recently, a celebrity stylist introduced her child to the world and people were horrified—not because she had a baby while unmarried but because the father of her baby was still very much married. No one likes a homewrecker. Not ever and never ever. Also recently, it looks like divorce will finally be legal in our country. So there's a lot of talk on how that is good news and bad news.

I'm a great believer in marriage and that is why I never wanted to get married because it honestly is an institution meant for superhumans. Marriage is HARD. But I also believe that it's one of the most beautiful things about the human experience, and so I am glad I did get married. Even when being married is not easy.

That said, I will always support divorce as a civic right. As I said, marriage is for superhumans and I don't know any superhuman haha. Joking aside, even though I believe in marriage, I also believe that people should feel safe and secure. Anyone who feels threatened and abused in a marriage should have the option to leave it. A marriage should be a good thing so if it is a very harmful situation, a spouse should be legally allowed to leave for his or her (usually her) and the children's safety.

I'm glad that our divorce bill allows for a cooling-off period because I believe that a couple should work out their differences. (Except when there's abuse. Leave. Period!) Sometimes time apart helps a husband and wife realize what the problem is and they may forgive and try again.

What do you think, mamas? What do you think of the divorce bill? What will make you leave your husband? Will you forgive your husband if he had an affair?

Anyway, I'm publishing a guest post because I think it's relevant today (coincidentally, it's the season where we're all asked to forgive so...). Tell me what you think!

* * * * * * *

The decision of whether or not to return to a former love can be a challenging one. At one point or another, everyone is likely to have weighed up the pros and cons in their mind of going back to a past flame. Well, in this article, we are going to weigh up some of the main ones. If you are currently going through this dilemma, hopefully, this article can go some way towards making this decision just a little bit clearer to you. So, without further ado, let’s get started.

Reasons Not to Go Back

First of all, when you go back to an old relationship, it is very difficult to recapture the initial rush of excitement that you had in the first place. If you are planning to give your ex another chance, don’t dive straight back into a full-on relationship. Instead, you should meet up on a more casual basis to find out if what you once had is still there. Another reason not to go back is that you are doing it for the wrong reasons like because you are simply feeling lonely. Though going back to a past lover may provide a temporary fix, you are unlikely to get the long-term fulfillment that you are looking for.

If the reason that you broke up in the first place is that the other person hurt you in a major way, you need to be totally confident that they are not going to do the same thing all over again - something which is very difficult to achieve. After all, you don’t want to end up getting taken advantage of all over again. Finally, if you go back to a former relationship, you have no room to meet new people and perhaps grow and develop yourself.

 Reasons to Return

There is a power in forgiveness, and if you are sure that you can move past what went wrong in the first place, you may find that this is the right path for you. Perhaps the other person has undergone some profound changes in their life after losing you. However, if you are the one who did wrong, it may be worth taking a look at Get Your Ex Back: Super System Program. There is always the danger that if you don’t give it a go, you may end up regretting it.

There is always a chance that you vow to do things better the second time around. You can learn from your past mistakes and establish a relationship which works better for the two of you. You may have both had the chance to grow and develop, and you are bringing these positive changes back into each other’s lives.

As you have probably gathered, the decision to bring a past lover back into your life is always going to be somewhat of a gamble. Ultimately, it is all up to you as to whether it is one that it worth taking or not.

* This is a guest post, with my edits. To place a guest post, email frances@topazhorizon.com for my rates. Photo 1 and 2 from Pexels.com.
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Friday, March 23, 2018

What's your #MeToo story, working mama?

Unless you've not been paying attention to the news, there is a bold and loud change happening in Hollywood and all over the world. It's the #MeToo movement, which is women very publicly sharing their stories of sexual harassment at the workplace. Famous women like Uma Thurman, Gwyneth Paltrow, Angelina Jolie, Taylor Swift, Cara Delavigne and many more shared their stories and these definitely made headlines and magazine covers, propelling the movement and making that hashtag go viral.

People can't stop talking about it because most working women have a story to tell. And many from all ages, economic backgrounds, races, and industries did. The first few stories were enough to unleash a storm of other stories so silently endured because women were afraid and ashamed. Well, not anymore!

Read the story on TIME.com

I've been meaning to talk about the #MeToo movement here on the blog because this is a working mama blog, but because I've never actually experienced sexual harassment in any of my workplaces, I didn't think I could. Well, the recent awards shows in Hollywood was all about ending sexual harassment in all industries and the fact that this month is International Women's Month makes this as good a time as any! So please let me say something and I hope you can say something, too.

I've been very fortunate to have worked for female bosses nearly all my life. There have only been three times I had a male boss. One of them gave me a really romantic gift and I resigned soon after in horror. I don't want that kind of shit in my working life. My husband still teases me about the gift because even he thinks it's so romantic. Now, I acknowledge it was so easy to resign because the job didn't pay well and I didn't like the work anyway. I was young and didn't really care for anything so I got off easy.

Many women don't have it that easy. Many women can't walk away from a job because (a) it's their dream job and/or (b) they have mouths to feed and bills to pay. It's easier to take the abuse sometimes if you're convinced it's part of the package (i.e. the notorious casting couch) or if you're doing the job because people depended on you. It's also harder to say no to an abuser if he threatens you or your family. I know many girls who were forced in these situations. They are good girls, wonderful women.

That's why whenever I see condemning comments on these #MeToo news, I get really upset. You know, the ones that go, "Why didn't she just quit her job? No dream job is worth it! If she really hated it, why didn't she just leave? Why didn't she report it the first time it happened? I would NEVER do that! Women like that are nothing more than prostitutes."

Well, they all have a point and yet it's really not that simple. As for prostitution, let me just say that when I was in college taking up Creative Writing, an alumni talked to our class and we were so eager to listen to him. All he did was dash our dreams when he said, "If you write for anything else that isn't from your muse, if you write for money not for your art, if you accepted payment from a client, if you work anywhere that you don't like, if you even did something for your boss that isn't part of your job description, you just prostituted yourself."

Full disclosure: I write for money. I'm not ashamed of it, too. I'm pretty proud of the fact that practically every word I've published has given me a really nice life. Not all of us can write for free, ya know. Gotta feed the kids and send them to school. So prostitution is a strange word to use for working women although I know a lot of conservative men who think that any woman who works for money is little better than a whore. That's why a lot of men think they can harass women at work. They think no man is looking out for her, that she'd do anything for the money because she needs it, that she's game. And we women, we've been taught to smile, to accept it, to be flattered by it, and most importantly to never ever talk about it.

Well, no more!

I guess all I want to say is that sexual harassment and abuse of women is evil, and there is a special kind of evil when working women, especially working mothers, are subjected to it. There is immense power the abuser exercises over us when they know we really really want this job or that we really really need it because we have children. These predators prey not really on our bodies, but on our dreams, our hopes, and our need to provide for those we love. It's a sad story from the dawn of time and it's still a story we hear today.

And you know what else is evil? When we do succeed in our work but no one believes it's your talent and hard work that did it. They all think it's because of the sexual relationship—it's never rape or harassment to them because the woman "agreed" to the sex. So now the successful woman starts to wonder if what these people think is true: "Did I get the job because I was the most qualified for it or because I did that horrible thing? Did I get promoted because I brought in a lot of money to the company or because I did that horrible thing? Is my success real or is it all a fraud?" And now the dream, the hard work, the success—all that is tainted. What an evil thing to do to us!

I'm so glad that this #MeToo movement is rocking Hollywood right now. It's changing everyone not just in Hollywood or in the US, but all over the world. Many countries are now talking about the problem of sexual harassment at work and how to deal with it. The #MeToo movement is making women think we don't have to take sexual harassment. It's changing the way we think of men and women and the workplace, that these things aren't normal and part of the job, that these things are evil and must be stopped. It's making men think that they can't do this anymore because we women won't have it and we will talk about it, maybe even shame them, maybe even have them arrested. In fact, so many men (producer Harvey Weinstein, TV host Matt Lauer, actor Kevin Spacey, Uber CEO Travis Kalanick, etc) have lost their jobs and their positions of power because of this movement. Good riddance!

I'm sad that all these stories are so horrifying but I'm glad they're all coming out. We need to talk about evil because silence is how it does its work best. Now that we have a voice, we need to trumpet out that we're not taking this anymore. What a wonderful time to be a working woman!

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Thursday, March 22, 2018

How Your Appearance Has the Power to Affect Your Success

Hi mamas! I'm publishing a guest post because this is something I know all too well. We all know we have to dress for success. There was just one time that I got the job on sheer talent alone. That job is when I applied for a magazine position. It was a surprise interview and I went to meet with the publisher and editorial director wearing a tank top, ratty jeans, and completely makeup-free. I seriously didn't think I'd get the job since the publisher asked me how long ago was college. I was 29 at the time so that question wasn't to flatter me. But get the job I did.

Now to keep the job, I had to dress up. Meetings with advertisers, lunches with PR managers, photo shoots, celebrity interviews, TV guestings, and countless events. I had to look the part of a glamorous editor in chief. Thank goodness that part of my life is over because high heels are really painful to wear!

I interviewed Dr Aivee Teo and I still don't know why I dressed up when I'm not the celebrity.

And yet, as a blogger who earns from brand ambassadorships, I also learned that just because I work behind a screen doesn't mean I can neglect my appearance. I still remember when offers for brand ambassadorships fell drastically when my face exploded in pimples. A literally ugly and painful reminder that in this world, looks are a big deal. 

Anyway, check out this guest post about how your looks can affect your climb up the ladder of success. I think it's very helpful!

* * * * * * *

Did you know that your look and your appearance affect your success? This might sound obvious, but do you know the exact reasons why it happens?

Everyone knows that successful entrepreneurs and business owners all ensure that their appearance is spot-on before they make a public appearance, but why exactly do they do this? There are many small things that add up and change the way we approach life, and in this article, we’re going to explain how your appearance is a powerful tool that can help you progress in life and further your career.

Your Appearance Inspires Confidence
Confidence is one of the biggest factors when it comes to running a successful business or building a thriving career. Confidence enables you to make decisions without doubting yourself, it helps you network with important industry figureheads and it also gives you more opportunities to develop yourself and grow your brand, be it a personal one or your business’s brand. There are many simple ways to boost your confidence using your appearance, but the most important one is to focus on comfort.

You don’t have to always wear a suit just to look good. If you don’t feel comfortable wearing formal clothes then why bother? You want to feel comfortable at all times, not like you’re being forced into wearing something just for the sake of your work. Instead of conforming to stereotypes, focus on your comfort. Wear what you want to work (of course, if you’re allowed to) as long as it empowers your ability to work hard.

Confidence isn’t something that naturally comes to you. It’s something that you need to get out there and grasp. Your appearance is something that you can easily change with a bit of styling, a new wardrobe and, most importantly, by improving your posture. Someone that is wearing an expensive suit but constantly slouching and looking down will always appear less confident than someone wearing a tracksuit at work who is always standing up straight and looking positive.

In short, your appearance has a huge effect on your confidence. Don’t neglect the importance of it and focus on the benefits it can offer you. It might be scary to inspire such a drastic change, but it’s important to get yourself out of your comfort zone so that you can embrace new changes in life and get used to the unknown.

Your Appearance Gives a Good First Impression
In the world of business, first impressions count. In fact, some relationships are going to be entirely defined by the first few moments you have with someone new. In business, there are too many people that want to make it big and sadly, the world isn’t big enough for all of them. As a result, you may find yourself struggling to find success. This is why it’s incredibly important to establish a good first impression, and this is where your appearance will come in handy.

Everything from the way you dress to the way you present yourself is going to have a profound effect on people you meet. If you’re well-dressed in a suit with a clean haircut and modest makeup, then you’re going to appear much more professional than someone who shows up in jeans and a hoodie. If you’re aiming to impress people, then it’s incredibly important that you analyze the situation you’re going to be in and dress appropriately. Is it a business meeting with big-name investors? Then you’ll want to dress smart and look the part. Is it just a casual meeting with colleagues? Then you might be able to get by with a casual look. It all depends on the situation you’re going to be in.

However, there are times when breaking the mould can create a bigger impact. For example, if you really don’t like wearing suits and dressing smart, then why bother? If you’re going to work with investors, then you don’t want to feel inferior or uncomfortable around them to a point that you’re dressing differently just to impress them. If you can’t stomach adapting to your environment and wearing a suit just to fit the mould that is expected of entrepreneurs, then you don’t need to. Make sure you’re comfortable no matter what you do to your appearance, otherwise you’ll lose your confidence and make an even worse first impression.


How to Improve Your Appearance For Success
So now that we’ve discussed two major points and talked about how your appearance can affect your success, we can move on to a few tips that will help you build your personal image and help you achieve success.

Focus on comfort. Comfort is the ultimate goal when it comes to dressing for success. You need to feel empowered in the clothing you wear, the accessories you adorn yourself with and the makeup you put on. You also need to focus on your hairstyle as well. From a lob haircut to a smart ponytail, focus on your entire appearance and not just your clothing. If you feel comfortable looking at yourself in the mirror, then you’ve completed the first step.

Adapt to the situation (within reason). Attending a fancy party with big-name investors in suits and dresses? Try and dress appropriately by wearing a suit, a modest dress or something along those lines. Showing up to work to give your employees a speech? Dress however you want and inspire confidence not with your expensive suit, but your general attitude and appearance.

Brands aren’t everything. You don’t need to focus on brands. They’re expensive, pointless and ultimately a waste of money. Focus on quality, comfort and fit.

Focus on the fit. Speaking of the fit, never wear anything that is too baggy or too tight for your body.

Hide your skin. And to add on to the previous point, make a habit of hiding your skin. Showing your arms is acceptable and showing a bit more skin when the weather is hot is fine, but don’t go overboard.

Don’t overdo your accessories or makeup. When it comes to going overboard, the easiest way to do this is with accessories and makeup. Stay modest with these. Choose accessories that are small enough to be noticed but don’t draw attention away from the rest of your appearance, and apply makeup that is subtle but still gets the job done.

No visible wrinkles. Make sure you iron your clothes to keep them fresh and free of wrinkles and creases. If you’re going to show up to a public event, then you don’t want to look like a ragtag mess.

Smile more. Lastly, make sure you smile. It will make you more approachable and help you feel more comfortable in your current situation.

Some Final Words
As you can see, your appearance has a huge effect on the way you’re perceived and the way you act. Confidence can be built from just your appearance alone, but you shouldn’t approach this blindly by trying to adapt to everyone around you. Building your confidence can also mean feeling comfortable in the clothes that you personally like, or the hairstyle that you feel is most practical for you. So whether you’re the type to wear jeans and a sweater to work or the type to wear a dry-cleaned suit, make sure you’re comfortable with your appearance to improve your chances of being successful.

* This is a guest post, with my edits. To place a guest post, email frances@topazhorizon.com for my rates. Photo from Pexels
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Thursday, March 15, 2018

Frances Finds: Belo Baby Baby Wipes

Life with kids sure is messy. We just spent the last day of school eating cotton candy and chocolate chip cookies and ice cream. I almost said no to the cotton candy, mamas, because those airy confections make fingers and cheeks absolutely sticky, but hey, of course we had to celebrate so mama me gave in. Life with kids sure is messy naman na talaga so I just sometimes have to give in to the boys and let them have their fun and just always be on the lookout for anything and everything that can help me control the chaos!

The nicer photo is on Instagram @topazhorizonblog. I chose this pic for this post because
you can just see on the left side, in my bag, my mom find =)

So that's why I'm writing this blog post because last month, Belo Baby sent over a few packs of their new Baby Wipes and I love them. I'm really maarte with wet wipes for my kids because they have to be tough on stickiness and grime but gentle on my kids' skin—lalo na because I use wipes on their private parts also (well, for Piero's now, when I change his diaper). So I happily received my Belo Baby Baby Wipes packs and set out to try them out. Here's my review!

I love the signature apricot and turquoise colors of the Belo Baby brand. 

Mamas, I love them! Each pack is a pretty pink-and-blue affair with the face of the OG Belo Baby herself, Scarlet Snow, on it. Each pack contains 50 wet wipes that are nice and wet. I hate wet wipes that aren't wet! I also like that each wipe is thick. There are no harmful chemicals at all—no parabens, chlorine and petrochemicals. It doesn't even have alcohol or fragrance, which can irritate skin. What it does have is organic chamomile extract, organic aloe vera, and Vitamin E so that my baby boys' skin is moisturized. This is kinda a big deal for me because it is so very hard to keep little boys' skin soft! Also, because we have so many allergies, it's important to me that Belo Baby Baby Wipes is hypoallergenic and pH balanced so I can be sure that when I'm cleaning up cotton candy from my kids' faces and hands, I'm also pampering their skin.

The wipe is thick and soft. And holds a lot of moisture!

It sounds so luxe but one thing I also love about Belo Baby Baby Wipes is that each pack is just P69.75. Hindi masakit sa budget although I still get horrified when Iñigo has a booger-wiping spree and uses one big sheet for one small booger each. But ganyan talaga ang buhay with kids—chaos and mischief and mess but we can still be happy at the end of the day because the dirt and germs can be swept away with Belo Baby Wipes! Hooray!


You can get Belo Baby Baby Wipes from any leading supermarket and drugstore. Plus, get more info from Belobaby.ph and @belobabylove on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. Try it out and tell me what you think!

*This post is brought to you by Belo Baby Baby Wipes.
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Sunday, March 04, 2018

Life advice from 6 women at the top of their game


Happy International Women's Month, mamas! I'm so excited to be living in this time when women everywhere are moving boldly to make the world a better place for women and children. And for men, too. For everyone! Feminists are so amazing. If it weren't for them, women won't be able to go to school, to vote, to work, to choose who they marry if they want to marry, to live on their own... Basically, if you're a woman who can leave your house and live a life you chose, then you have generations of feminists to thank! 

For hundreds of years, women didn’t get the credit they deserve. Today, the world is a very different place, and more and more ferocious females are blazing a trail and inspiring women, both young and old, to fulfil their potential and reach their goals. And if you're a mama who is feeling discouraged because work is hard or money is tight or the goal seems impossible to reach, I am here to tell you that the fact that you're still getting up every morning to try and try again is a most amazing thing. Bravo!

Here are words of inspiration from successful women but who went through great pain just to be at the top of their game:


Infographic design by Good Vibes

I'm so inspired really. I love that women are speaking out against evil and wrongdoing—from the #MeToo and #TimesUp movement where women are standing up against sexual harassment and abuse in the work place to the brave women that our government is persecuting all because they're doing their jobs well.

As a working mama, all I want to do is do my job and get paid for it. That's it. Let me do what I'm good at! I don't want to have to worry about getting raped. I don't want to worry about my job security being threatened just because I'm doing good work. Every day, millions of working women fear for their life just because they want to have a career, or they need to feed their family, or they're pursuing their dreams! But every day, we are also helping to change that. Let's never stop making this world better for ourselves and for our children. 

Happy International Women's Month again, mamas! 

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Saturday, March 03, 2018

How my sweaty baby boys still smell sweet

I’m a mama of three little boys. Back when they were still tiny babies, I used to dread the day they start running around and getting all sweaty and dirty because I don’t like smelly kids! Well, at 7, 5 and 3 years old, my sons are well past that day. In fact, they spend all day running around, rolling on the floor, jumping about, and chasing each other and their classmates. They get sweaty and they get dirty but they don’t get smelly. Ever!

Kids need to be active (and sweaty) to be healthy. 

I like to think it’s genetics (I don’t have body odor) but since they're still kids, the reason simply is they don't have the factors that plague people prone to B.O. Puberty hormones, obesity, regularly eating spicy food, certain medical conditions like diabetes (bacteria like the sugar in their perspiration)—one or all these things can cause body odor. Sweat itself is just water so it doesn’t smell. But bacteria found on our skin just love our sweat and so the more bacteria you have, the smellier you get.

So the solution is really simple—Get rid of bacteria! Baths are important, of course. Fresh clothes at the ready when the boys get sweaty. And I also use antibacterial everything on my kids—their soap, their hand gel, pocket-sized spray bottles of alcohol. Since we can’t prevent sweat, I can just keep bacteria at bay. 

My little helpers also love doing the laundry.

I even use antibacterial laundry products! Diba I said my favorite household chore is doing the laundry? Well, ayan, my bacteria-aversion has made me choose products like Ariel AntiBac and Downy AntiBac. I like how it prevents 99% germs from making me and my boys smell yucky. No bacteria, no smell. I’m confident that even when my kids play all day, mabango pa rin sila pag-uwi nila sa bahay. Love it! 

P.S. I confess I tried the Parfum Collection lately and my whole family smells sooooo good!

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Tuesday, February 27, 2018

Watch this perfect wedding dance to Ed Sheeran's Perfect

I'm neck-deep in work for my job as beauty editor at L'Oréal, mamas! I have so much to blog about, I know, and I will. Lemme just meet my deadlines first!

So anyway, quick post before I run off again to write beauty articles. So when I write late at night,  I need music to help drown out the thick silence, which can get unnerving. I don't know why that happens to me when I work. The quiet never bothers me when I'm reading a book.

But anyway. So I listen to lots of songs but not from iTunes or Spotify. I usually search for a song my Uber driver recommended that day and then I let the auto play take over. This is how even though I am in my 40s, I am not stuck in the songs of my youth (which would be the 80s and 90s—which had the best songs!). That's why I still sing and dance to Justin Bieber, Ariana Grande and why I'm so so so in love with Ed Sheeran.

(sigh)

My current favorite song is "Perfect." I didn't really like it when it first came out, especially the video because he was so friend-zoned it was painful. Of course there is a happy ending to the video (watch it below!) and it took me a few views before I decided I slowly fell in love with the song the way the girl in the video slowly fell in love with Ed.



Anyway, as I was watching that dance at the end, it dawned on me how it's the perfect song to dance to at a wedding. Right??? I'm sure I'm not the first one who thought this and true enough, a quick search produced a dozed wedding dances. Okay, don't even bother looking at those because I already did and they are awkward and painful to watch haha

But this one, mamas... This one is beautiful. Of all the videos of wedding dances to "Perfect," this is not the swankiest wedding, nor the most elegant, and I wish the camera was nicer, but this dance... Oh, it's so sweet.



I keep thinking of Vince when I heard the line, "We were just kids when we fell in love, not knowing what it was." That's so us. Well, I dunno about Vince. He always seemed so sure about me, about us. So I just followed his lead and I'm so glad I did. So glad I did.

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Wednesday, February 21, 2018

How your career can make you a better mom

In my last post, I talked about how motherhood can help you contribute better to the workforce. I'm happy to say it works both ways, mamas! Your work and the skills you learn on the job will help you as a mommy, too. I should know! For example, my time as a preschool teacher taught me how to deal with kids while my years as an editor-in-chief managing a team on tight deadlines gave me the stamina to manage my household.

If you're afraid your career will make you a bad mama, don't believe it! Yes, a working mama's life can be challenging, but you mustn't let the challenges discourage you. Change how you view the struggle: You can grow not only professionally, but personally as well; you can build essential skills in the workplace that can be transferred to your home, and vice versa. Check out the many ways your work life can be good for your home life:

Management Skills
If you choose a management career, you will be able to transfer your skills to your home life. Project management training will encourage you to look at every plan from different angles, and consider multiple options. This will benefit your home life. You will get better at arranging vacations and childcare, and choosing the most economical ways of commuting to work, or getting your kids to school. 

In my case, I never get daunted by parties. While my kids' parties are tiny to begin with (which makes them sooo easy to plan), I've had years of practice as a magazine editor putting together photo shoots, ordering food for staff and crew, attending events, making small talk, making people at ease and even happy. 
Iñigo's 3rd birthday party was huge and a success—but won't do that again hehe

Health and Safety
If you get health and safety training at your workplace, or enroll for an online msn degree course, you will understand the importance of exercise and healthy lifestyle better. As a result, you can encourage your kids to exercise regularly and eat healthier. First aid training will help you deal with minor injuries at home, so you don’t have to visit the emergency department every time your child falls off the bike. 

For me, it was my work as a mom blogger that helped me be aware of proper food and nutrition at every age, what products are best for my kids's skin (that includes everything from allergenic skincare products to the best diapers like Pampers), vaccinations, and other safety concerns. Why? Because I had client brands who wanted me to write about these things and many times I had to research and there were also times these brands sent me pages upon pages of scientific data.

You won't believe all the research papers I read for this campaign!

Financial Planning
Working will also make you better at financial planning. You can transfer your skills to your household budget and manage your money better. Money management is an essential skill, but it is, unfortunately, not taught in mainstream education. This means that working moms are generally better at budgeting, planning for larger expenses, and staying out of financial troubles. You will be able to make your family budget go further if you pay attention to how your employer controls costs.

I became good at budgets when I was a managing editor. Even I was surprised at how adept I was at making sure we made a magazine within budget, that all bills and suppliers were paid on time, and that we still had a quality product—even on a budget! Sadly, I'm not as good with this financial planning when it comes to my household. I mean, I'm good but not super good. I like spoiling my kids, you see, so that can be a problem especially when I'm trying to stick to a budget but "Mama, can we eat Bonchon pleeeeeease?" unravels my resolve!

Time Management 
You will be forced to improve your work-life balance while looking after your family and going to your workplace. You will learn how to compare routes to your workplace and to your kids’ school, avoid traffic, and stick to appointments. While you might not have been good at keeping time while you were at home with your kids, now it will be something you need to do every day to keep your job. 

Am I right, mamas? Sometimes when people with no children talk about being busy, I sigh. In the immortal words of Iñigo Montoya from The Princess Bride...


I've been an underling and I've been a boss. I'm a businesswoman, too. I've worked for 48 hours straight but sleepless nights were easy when I didn't have kids. Let me tell ya—nothing compares to the busy-ness of a mama! But now I'm more efficient. My 24 hours is so precious that I've learned how to manage my time ruthlessly. What used to take me 14 hours to do, I can now squeeze into 6 hours. My focus is razor-sharp because I can't afford to waste time anymore. Motherhood has taught me the quickest, most efficient way to do things!

Managing Kids and Difficult Situations
When you work with people from different walks of life, you will gradually learn how to handle difficult colleagues and clients. This skill will come handy when your kids start, well, talking. My goodness, I thought I was such an amazing mother until my kids started learning how to talk and got sassy with me. Things like, "Because I said so!" just won't do it, mamas. Am I right? I had to draw on all my learned skills as a manager and negotiator to deal with my own children! I seriously can't imagine the teenage years.

While being a mother and having a job can be challenging, you need to look at the bright side. Some of your parenting and homemaking skills can be transferred to the world of employment, and vice versa. Make the best use of your skills and experience gained at home and in the workplace, and you can be a better mother and employee. Good luck to us all, working mamas! We got this!

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Sunday, February 18, 2018

Can becoming a mom actually help your career? Yes!

Being a mom and having a career are two things that are often pitted against each other. Mothers can't be good at work because they're distracted by their children. Working women can't be good mothers because they're not the ones raising their kids 24/7. Time and again, we working mamas have proven these accusations as false. Many businesses are founded by women (shout out to my friends who are all businesswomen!). Many businesses have senior officers who are women (check out this 2017 PDI article: More women executives in PH, Asia pacific, but...). Many of these career women are also mothers and I celebrate how women can enjoy more aspects of womanhood—of life!—and this is truly a sign of changing times.

The three reasons I work so hard.

I will admit that juggling motherhood and career and marriage and self-care is a huge struggle. And I will also say that when the need arises, family always comes first. That's a no-brainer. I work because I love it, I love making my own money, I love providing for my family, and I love using parts of my brain for something else that doesn't involve children. I like being more than a mommy. That said, when the kids are sick, I drop all work. When a job offer of P200,000 a month came up but it would mean working practically 24/7, I declined. You can always make money but when family needs you, family comes first. I think most working moms know this and do this.

But that doesn't make mommies bad workers. In my experience, I have more to bring to the table now because of all the things I know as a mom. I'm better at understanding how finances work, for example, now that I have to manage a household. I'm now more organized. I can make the best decisions in a snap (trained by kids whose needs are always urgent!).  

Becoming a mother can give your career a boost in many ways. Motherhood and career don’t have to be mutually exclusive. So if you’re thinking about work after having children, or are yet to have children and wonder how you can make it work, then this post is for you. Here are some of the ways that becoming a mom can give your career the boost that it might need.

You FINALLY take that leap of faith.
Many women put off doing what they really want because they don't think they can make it. But when children are in the picture, you start to think of being a good example. How can you teach your children to be true to themselves, to chase after their dreams, to pursue their passions, and be proud of their talents if you yourself aren't fulfilling your own purpose in life? If you've always wanted to be a teacher, do it now. If you've always wanted to bake cookies and sell them, do it now. Nothing is sadder for a child to see than a regretful parent who says, "I always wanted to do this-and-that but I couldn't because I had to work for you kids/scared I'd fail/I didn't want to be laughed at/etc." I know because my own parents said that and it is heart-wrenching to witness wasted lives, buried talents, and crushed dreams, especially if those were your parents'.

Be the role model you want your kids to have! If you fail, then try again. At least your kids see that you were brave enough to live your truth, tried to make it work, and got up again. I really do believe this because that's what my husband and I do all the time. Making our dreams come true requires a leap of faith, yes. It took me a while to take that leap, I'll admit, and I was scared all the time. I'm still scared. But many mom bosses (like many of my friends) decided to leave their old career behind and carve out a new one for themselves—and they inspired me! 

You’re motivated for real success.
If you weren’t too motivated by your career beforehand, then it is important to note that becoming a parent can really give you the motivation that you need. Nothing motivates you more than the little ones that you have at home that need to be fed and cared for. I was interviewed for an article in a parenting magazine a few years ago and one of the questions was, "What motivates you to work?" And I replied, "The bills. Do you realize how expensive it is to raise kids???" Haha but it's true. I can get really lazy, you know, but those bills need to be paid, those kids need to be fed, those kids need to go to school, wear clothes, get their vaccines. So I can't ever be lazy!

Money issues aside, you also become more focused and determined to be a success because you want your kids to be proud of you. My son, Vito, is so funny. He brought a magazine to school because my photo was in it (it was the Biogenic ad) and he told his classmates and their moms: "Look at my mama! She's a model!" I was half-embarrassed and half-proud. I loved it that he was so proud of me! It made me want to work harder, you know? I'm sure you know what I mean, mamas.

Your skills improve.
Like I mentioned earlier, motherhood forces you to learn a lot of new skills that you didn't have before. It teaches you creativity, patience, razor-sharp decision-making, people management, mastery of juggling schedules, and a whole lot more. Many moms actually realize that they could capitalize on these new skills. I know many women who embarked on businesses like home organization, house-cleaning, virtual assistance, events management, catering, tutoring, kiddie fashion, baby products. 

If you're a mom who quit work to be with your kids, or you've found yourself having plenty of time now that the kids are in school, you may want to attend workshops or enroll in courses that can equip you to launch that business you always wanted to do. If you're employed, you may consider a masters degree to improve your skills and employability. Doing an MSW online, for example, could open up your career options and make you able to apply for that promotion that you’ve always wanted to do. 

You're more powerful now, oh so much more powerful!
As a working mom, you have a lot of things to be thinking about. And becoming a mom will automatically make you better able to manage time, prioritize, and organize. So even if you go back to your previous career after having children, it can mean that you’re better able to do the job you were doing before. You’re likely to be a much more productive worker as you know you have only got a certain amount of time to get the work done in.

Becoming a mother can give your confidence a boost. You have done something amazing when you grew a baby and kept that baby alive and healthy, too! For many women it can help them to feel more confident and comfortable in their own skin. It happened to me and I wrote about my empowerment because I truly felt more alive and more powerful. Your motherhood can be just the catalyst that you need for a mighty change!

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Thursday, February 15, 2018

What to pack for a last-minute holiday

It's Chinese New Year tomorrow! For many Fil-Chinese schools and businesses, that means it's a holiday so hello long weekend!

If you’ve decided to spend the weekend on a family getaway, then don't panic, mamas. While a long break sounds like a brilliant way to relax – nothing can beat the excitement of a last minute holiday, right? – it doesn’t mean that you can leave the success of your break to chance. You still need to pack efficiently. In fact, you need to be twice as efficient than you normally are during your holiday preps because a last minute plan doesn’t leave you much time to get ready. So what do you need to pack in your luggage to make it work for you and your family

Transitional clothes for both warm and cold kinds of weather
When you don’t have the time to study the weather, you need to prepare for cold and warm temperatures. Be reassured: it doesn’t mean that you should pour the entire contents of your wardrobe in your travel bag. 

Whether you're going to the beach or going on staycation in a posh hotel, make sure to bring midseason jackets for your family, as they’re ideal to keep you warm during a cool and windy day but they’re not too heavy so that you can still wear them when the sun is out. My husband always packs jackets for my kids (because I always forget, given our tropical climate). Why? Because when we go on long road trips, the car gets cold. When we book at a hotel, the A/C gets really freezing (even when I turn it off!). When we went to sunny Bohol and climbed the Chocolate Hills, guess what—it was windy and drizzly and chilly up there!

Just remember the onion skin layer concept. Pack clothes that you can layer on top of each other if you need to: T-shirt, light jumper, cardigan, etc. 
We left the hotel, it was hot and sunny. Thirty minutes later at Chocolate Hills, we were freezing!

The entertainment factor
It’s a holiday, however short it is. Consequently, it has to be fun! If you’ve still got enough time, make sure to book some tickets for local attractions and shows. Whenever we go to Tagaytay, for example, I really make kulit my husband to go to Tagaytay Sky Ranch and the zoo at Residence Inn. He hates those places haha but the kids love them! 

Additionally, make sure to pack a few toys to keep the kids occupied during the journey. While you don’t need to throw all their toys in a bag, you should have at least three different kinds of games such as a soft toy, a colouring book, and a board game, for example. I allow my boys to bring one toy each. More than the entertainment factor, their toy comforts them in a strange place. 
While boating in Burnham Park is something we won't do again, I'm glad we still got to do it!

Essential tech devices
Back in my day, there was no such thing as gadgets. Now we have a small bag just for it! We bring the iPad. It keeps the kids from running all over the airport or the hotel lobby when we're preoccupied with checking in. We bring a camera. We have chargers and wires and power banks. If we're traveling abroad, we bring a universal plug. 

One thing I really want is a smart suitcase that has an inbuilt GPS system. Have you seen those? This suitcase makes sure you'll never lose your luggage. Suitcases now are so hi-tech actually. They have built-in chargers, built-in child seats, and some bags even follow you around like a puppy. This last one I think is stupid because people will trip over that darned thing, diba??? Just look at it.


Looks cool, though.

Don’t forget a snack!
If your trip is going to last a few hours, you’d better pack some yummy snacks to keep you going. Best to pack your own chips and cookies, too, because those things are so expensive at tourist spots!  You can also make your own healthy snacks in a moment. Popcorn is universally loved and it's low in calories (unless you add tons of salt and butter).  Not a fan of popcorn? Try homemade power bars instead. They’re full of superfoods and don’t require any baking time, so they’re ready in no time. 

But we make sure to buy the local snacks, like ube halaya and strawberry jam from Baguio.

From appropriate clothes to something to eat on the way, it’s important to know what to pack when you’re in a hurry. Don’t let your last-minute holiday be ruined by poor packing and do enjoy the long weekend!

*This post contains affiliate links.

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