TOPAZ HORIZON

Here are 7 tips for how you can ease your anxiety during the lockdown: 

Many of us have a daily routine that was completely turned upside down when the lockdown happened. You need to set up a new routine because routines can establish a sense of normalcy through all this insanity. Sticking to it and taking comfort from the predictability of a schedule, even if it's a new one, can help ease your anxiety.

To help prevent anxiety and even while going through an anxiety attack, moving your body is especially helpful. Physical exercise is a way to use up all that nervous energy. If you are feeling anxious or restless you can, for example, distract yourself by firing up a few fitness apps you can use with dedicated challenges, such as a 30 Day workout challenge on 30 Day Fitness, as well as HIIT workouts you can do in your home or garden. 

Your physical space can be a physical representation of anxiety or stress. Clutter can exacerbate feelings of anxiety and overwhelm, as you feel that there is "so much." Keep your space clean and tidy for your mental health. As you clear the physical clutter, you can help to reduce the mental clutter, too! 

4. Try meditation. 

Meditation is a helpful practice to help reduce anxiety and to ground yourself. There are many apps available, such as Insight Timer and Headspace, which give you the option of guided meditations, music, courses, etc. You can also simply practice deep breathing and focusing on your breath. 

The news these days is really upsetting. From incompetent government response and the mounting death rate all over the world to COVidiots who still defend their corrupt leaders and think that the pandemic is a hoax, the coverage is definitely anxiety-provoking. While it is important to be informed, reading numerous articles about the same thing or reading the ‘fear’ stories can really take their toll on your mental health. Choose to only read news from credible media and to limit your exposure to it by turning off social media and doing something else.

Creativity is a wonderful outlet for all that energy. A common phrase you’ll hear from artists is that their art is where they "get it all out." Your creative pastime is not something you have to be a professional in, but rather one that you enjoy to let your creativity out and get in a state of flow. For example, you could try painting, sketching, writing, photography, crafts, and even rearranging your home décor. 

One sad thing about the novel coronavirus is it isolates us from our family and friends. When you feel alone during a scary time, this can add even more stress. It's crucial therefore to maintain contact and connection with your loved ones. Call them up, chat over Messenger, do Zoom calls, or send thoughtful emails.

If you're doing all these and still feel weighed down by worry, seek professional help if you feel the need. Many mental health practitioners are stepping up even more during the pandemic to offer accessible mental health services. If you feel the need or would like additional support, connecting with a professional can be a powerful experience as you manage your own anxiety. 

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Later at dinner, Vince added, "He is really just like you. He's stubborn like you. He's cute like you." He said this while he was spooning chopseuy onto his plate, matter-of-fact, absorbed in his dinner, very casual, no gooey eyes. Like he was saying, Just sayin'.

Later in bed, I realized with a start that Vince watches me. And so I kinda went a bit panicky, aware I've let myself go since we had kids. I'm 25 lbs heavier since the day we met. I'm all stretched out in the tummy area. The boobs and butt areas, too, if I'm going to be honest. I dress for comfort not for style or sex. I'm a mom now and this mom is usually busy and exhausted and annoyed and exasperated. What does he see? Does he like what he sees?

Well, he said I'm cute like our toddler. I don't know if 40 and cute go together but he still enjoys being with me, talking with me, and apparently looking at me, too. After almost 18 years together, he still looks at me. He still looks at me! He still sees me, he still wants to know me. And he still loves me.

And then I remembered all those times I rushed past him, on the way to a crying, needy, demanding, angry, hungry, sleepy, poopy, sick, or whatever-it-is-this-time child; and all those times he said he wanted to chat and I said, "I'm tired;" and all those times I was so busy working I didn't even look up from my computer when he said, "Hi." I remembered and I wondered if he hopes I see him, too.

Because I do. I do! I always think of him whatever I do. I always look at him, too, when I can, when I'm not looking down at the kids, the chores, the work. I wonder if he doesn't see that I see him the way I don't see that he sees me.

My heart is feeling tender now. My husband still sees me. I don't even care now if he likes what he sees. The fact that he's still looking means he still cares (and he must still like what he sees!). 

I'm not invisible. 

I'm not invisible. 

I'm not invisible.

Thank you, Vince. I see you and all that you do for us. Now I need to make sure you know you're not invisible, too.

Update, January 2021: This blog post is part of my first book, Not Invisible, my mom-oir! Grab a copy from Ukiyoto Publishing and Amazon.

Like us, my friends are also quarantined in their little spot on the globe. I still can't believe it, how all over the world, we are fighting this COVID-19 pandemic together. It suddenly makes the world such a small place. My friend, Nicole, suggested I share how people's lives are like everywhere during this strange time. It was a fantabulous idea! It will make us feel less alone in our cooped-up existence by making us virtually visit someone far away. I hope you agree!

So today, let me introduce you to my friend, Nicole. If you're a Loyal Reader, you must've spotted her here and there in old blog posts. We became friends while working as magazine editors. Nicole was the super chic and talented beauty editor of Cosmopolitan before becoming the freelance beauty editor of OK! magazine. These days, she's not on my blog anymore because I haven't seen her in years since she married and moved to the South of France. She is delightfully happy and soooo in love these days. I can imagine how lovely it must be to be required to be stuck at home with the love of your life in such a gorgeous place as Côte d'Azur! Here's what her life's like:

The lockdown rules in France are pretty much the same for the whole country. The only difference (that I am aware of) is that a few cities require you to wear a mask or implement certain curfews. 

Whenever we go out, we have to prepare a form called the Attestation de Déplacement Dérogatoire. It's like a permission slip where you have to enter your personal details and indicate the pre-approved reasons for going out: essential work, groceries, exercise, to walk your dog, urgent family matters like if you’re sharing custody of children, medical appointments, etc. The attestation can be handwritten, but if it’s printed or filled up on your phone, then it comes with a QR code that can be scanned at checkpoints. If you don’t respect the rules, you get a €135 fine for the first offense. 

How is your town taking to the lockdown? 

I think everyone is doing the best they can. At 8 p.m., people gather by their windows to pay tribute to the frontliners—you’ll hear clapping, random trumpet playing, dance music, occasional fireworks, and even boats blaring their horns. The only thing that’s strange to me is that I see a lot of people walking around and even kids playing outside without masks. But our town started distributing them for free to encourage residents to wear them and you can also buy masks at groceries and pharmacies now, so hopefully this will change. 

How do you get your food? 

My husband goes to the grocery every two weeks. So far, the stock situation has been fairly good and there are delivery options available. Our local market and some restaurants have also opened for takeout recently. But I think the funniest thing I noticed was that a lot of people were ordering wine for pickup from one of our neighborhood restaurants. Of course, the French need their wine! 

You can go out! Whyyyyyy??? 

Everyone is allowed to go out for exercise once a day for one hour and within one kilometer of your home. We’ve been on strict lockdown since March 16, but we only started going out for short walks towards the end of April since we wanted to stay home as much as possible. But now that masks are more available and the weather is warmer, we take walks on paths where we run into less people maybe 2-3 times a week. It's been good for our sanity! 

What will you do once lockdown lifts? 

Since we live near the sea, I find myself daydreaming about going on a nice picnic and taking a dip in the ocean. I definitely hope I can visit Manila again soon because it’s unnerving when you don't know when you'll be able to see your family again! But I try not to think about these things too much since everything is so unpredictable anyway. I just take it a day at a time and try to appreciate the simple things. As long as everyone is healthy and safe at the end of the day, that’s all that truly matters. 

What have you been doing during quarantine? 

We usually spend most of the day cooking and baking! Making bread really helped me relax and experimenting with different recipes in the kitchen made us both happy. I tried studying a little French and did some yoga a couple of times a week, but it never really stuck. So I switched to crocheting while he'd watch a series on Netflix or catch up on the news. After dinner, we turn off our screens and play a game of cards, Monopoly Deal, backgammon, checkers—something old school. And of course, there's Instagram, Facetime calls, and lots of texting with friends and family. Making videos for those with birthdays in my family actually became a trend, so I think we also made at least four or five of those. My husband also learned to cut his own hair! I'm hoping I can teach him how to give me a manicure next! Haha! 

I'm loving her little NY Minute interviews for Coach. This one, where she talks about being a mom, is especially inspiring for me as a working mom.



The best thing that happened to Jennifer is not her phenomenal career. It was her twins, Max and Emme. I remember covering this story for OK! magazine way back in 2008. As the editor, I was hell-bent on getting the photos and exclusive interview. And we got it! It was a beautiful feature but one I—as a newlywed with no desire for kids—didn't understand.

In London for the 2008 OK! annual conference and so proud of our cover.

Now that I have my own kids, I can appreciate Mommy JLo better. She says in her Coach video, "Your whole perspective on the world changes.  It's all about [the kids]—how you can be better for them, how you need to be better for them. [With] my type of work, I'm lucky that I can have [my family with me]. Because when they're there, they empower me to soar. I want to make them proud."

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*Photos from the Biogenic Alcohol campaign 4 years ago! Don't forget to wash your hands with soap and water and sanitize surfaces with alcohol. Stay well and healthy! 

In these strange days of the novel coronavirus, it's even more important to keep ourselves healthy and strong. So exercise and stock up on fruits and vegetables! That's what I've been doing. Sometimes I make a fruit shake when I bought too much fruit. Or I just let everyone drink Welch's. It's convenient for mommies like me to let a fruit’s nutrients can be enjoyed by my entire family through fruit juices. Regular consumption of 100% grape juice made with Concord grapes such as Welch’s is really part of our diet.  

Doctors advise that the best ways to fight the Covid-19 disease are: 

(1) regular handwashing - make sure to do so for at least 20 seconds to really kill germs

(2) social distancing - this is to lessen the chances of spreading the virus

(3) avoid touching one's face - because our fingers can have the virus and it gets into our system through our noses and mouths

(4) strengthen one’s immune system - a lifestyle of getting enough sleep, regular exercise, and a balanced diet is basic!

A daily diet full of fruits and vegetables is not easy for me. Expensive, hard to store (they ripen quickly in our tropical climate), and needs to be prepared so that my kids will eat it. They're not the kind of kids who just bite an apple or pop a berry in their mouth. I have to make a salad, a smoothie, bake it into bread or cake. So tiresome! 

And here are my little stories from the many times he showed me just how serious he was about me.


#1
On our first date in Manila (we already had a few in Baguio), instead of going to the mall, he brought me to meet his parents first. That was a complete shock since I wasn't dressed for it and wasn't ready at all. I wore a thin sleeveless shirt and tight jeans—definitely not what I'd wear to impress the parents of a guy I just met. But he said, "You should meet them! Our house is on the way."

"Really? I'm not ready to meet your folks."

"Why not? They'll love you!"

"I'm not... dressed."

"You look amazing!"

And that's how I met his parents. I think everyone was surprised but Vince just smiled throughout the whole thing. Like, he literally didn't say anything. He just let me and his dad do all the talking! He later said in the car, "It's nice to see you with my parents. It looks right."

#2
He asked me, "Do you want to be a June bride?" in May, a month after we met.

#3
He surprised me in the car by suddenly singing to me: "I want to take you home, I wanna give you children, and you might be my girlfriend, oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah!" That's from Babies by Pulp. We had just started dating and we weren't even girlfriend-boyfriend yet so babies were not anywhere in the realm of my consciousness so that was pretty scary haha

#4
I lived in Antipolo back then and it floods in the Cainta-Marikina intersection all the way up to the rise to Masinag. His low Toyota meant he won't be able to visit me during the rainy season so he bought a big pickup truck that roared through the flood.

#5
When I started working for the Senate, I was dismayed to find out that they hold your salary until you're regularized. You get all of it in one big bulk but I figured I'd look for another job because there was no way I could survive that long without income. Then Vince said, "I'll support you until you get your money. No problem. It'll be like practice for when we're married."

I paid him back when I got my money, which I think offended him haha


#6
He took me house-hunting. After every house we checked out, he asked, "Did you like that?" And I would say, "It's your house. It doesn't matter what I like." And he insisted, "But it does because it's going to be your house."

I have a plethora of little snippets of how he felt for me. I looked through my diaries recently. Apparently, my 2004 diary tells me I did want to get married after all. It also told me why I resisted. Even though I knew he was the one for me, I didn't know if I was the one for him. He wanted the marriage and the kids and because I had endometriosis and was possibly barren, I didn't want to disappoint him. Well, after all that resisting, it turns out I didn't have anything to worry about.

Sharing with you these last two photos, one from my diary and one from my Facebook Memories.