Sunday, January 18, 2026

Affirmations that really work


I have a confession: I've always felt affirmations were kinda weird and woo-woo. I know that reality starts in the mind. You must imagine your reality! And you do that with affirmations. I just didn't really know how that's done.

Well, today, I learned something about affirmations that really changed how I see them. And I'm going to share them with you because it's a new year! And I bet we're all thinking of how to make 2026 a better year.

I took this Linkedin Learning course, The Six Morning Habits of High Performers by Pete Mockaitis. One of the habits is affirmations. And here's what high performers affirm every morning: First, affirmations must not be a lie. For example, don't say, "I am a millionaire," because your brain will go, "But... we're not?" That made so much sense to me, TBH. Another tip is the affirmations must not be passive. Don't say, "I am a money magnet. Success flows through me," because you're not doing anything. Just standing there thinking of money will not make you money.

And I screencapped this to help me write mine:

I love this thoughtful take on affirmations! Ground them in truth, must be action-oriented and time-bound. Doesn't it make much more sense?

Now, part of the course was to do assignments, so here's what I wrote down for me. Instead of vague affirmations, I reframed mine into commitments with clear actions and timelines. Check them out!
 
As a Mom

Commitment: I am a present and loving mom.
Why: Because my sons deserve to feel seen, heard, and supported, now more than ever!
Actions: I will create daily pockets of connection, whether through meals, bedtime chats, or shared activities.
When: Every day, even for 15-30 minutes. Even when I'm tired!

Commitment: I am raising kind, aware, and responsible boys.
Why: Because I want them to grow into good men who contribute positively to the world.
Actions: I will have honest conversations about values, model kindness, and give them space to share their thoughts.
When: Through daily interactions and family discussions, whenever the opportunity comes up.

For My Health

Commitment: I am prioritizing my physical and mental well-being.
Why: Because a healthy body and mind will help me show up fully in every area of my life.
Actions: I will move my body regularly, stay hydrated, and choose nourishing foods.
When: By exercising 3-4 times a week and making mindful food choices daily.

Commitment: I am honoring my body’s need for rest and care.
Why: Because rest restores my creativity, energy, and emotional balance.
Actions: I will create a consistent sleep routine, allow myself guilt-free downtime, and spoil myself rotten every month!
When: By being in bed by 10:30 PM on weeknights. (This is the only thing I'm sure I can commit to.)

As a Writer and Author

Commitment: I am building a successful and impactful writing career.
Why: Because my words have the power to inspire, heal, and connect with others.
Actions: I will dedicate focused writing time and submit/publish my work consistently.
When: By writing for at least 30 minutes on weekday mornings.

Commitment: I am continuously improving my craft.
Why: Because great writing comes from lifelong learning and practice.
Actions: I will read widely, study storytelling techniques, and seek feedback.
When: By reading a book every month or taking a writing course every quarter!

As a Communications Manager

Commitment: I am growing into a confident and strategic communications leader.
Why: Because my voice and ideas shape how others see, feel, and act.
Actions: I will strengthen my digital marketing knowledge, embrace new tools, and measure the impact of my work.
When: By dedicating time each month to learning and reviewing performance metrics.

O, diba? Very Linkedin ang language. And isa lang kaya kong i-commit for my job because it's already taking a lot out of me! Anyway, I like how this course helped me form affirmations that reflect my values, give me clear direction in my daily life, and keep me accountable. 

Actually, they're kinda hard to do! So I'm still struggling with the execution and accountability part. But I'm getting there! 

I know now that affirmations aren't about faking it till you make it. Affirmations are just words. Powerful words! But what really changes my life is consistent action. So this is me sharing with you my affirmations. Let's call them my commitments. So I can be accountable! 

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Monday, January 05, 2026

Take a peek at my BDJ planner (Big Dreams Journey, 20th Edition)

Aaaaand it's the first Monday of the year, so it's the real start of 2026! Let's take a look at my BDJ Big Dreams Journey planner!


This is the 20th edition of the Belle de Jour Power Planners. Grabe, 20 years. My blog is also 20 years this 2026, so wow! I was there when Darlyn Ty started her planner business, and I've used a BDJ planner on and off through the years (I was a bullet journal-ist for a few years). This year, I have 3 planners - one for my daily stuff, another for Bible study, and the BDJ planner will be my writing projects planner.
 

I know people who have at least 2 planners. One for home, one for work, one for hobbies, one for kids' schedules, etc. The last time I had more than one planner was when I was homeschooling the boys. Last year, my planner was bursting at the seams with so many to-do lists that I realized I needed more than one again. 

Since this 20th edition is called the Big Dreams Journey, it was entirely appropriate to devote it to my writing projects! 


The planner is a very serious one this year. It's usually colorful or has fabulous illustrations. This year, it's all business! From left, the Perks of a Bella coupons booklet, the planner itself, and a slim dotted notebook.


There are 60 partner offers inside - from beauty and wellness to fashion and food, there's a Bella experience waiting for you at a discount. And the more coupons you use, the more rewards you get! 


I'm using the notebook as my projects tracker. That list is all the courses I got from Udemy. I also have from Linkedin and Domestika. I've had those for years and I am either halfway through them or haven't started. So this is the year I finish something! The goal is just 12 - one a month. The rest of the pages are going to be for my income tracker for writing and editing projects, tracker for my works in progress (I have novels, devotionals, short stories, children's books!), and ideas dump.   


And here we are at the first part of the planner - where you're guided to visualize the life you want. This is actually useful! So I was writing all my dreams and plans and my surprising conclusion is my top priority is my...


My health matters because I had so many plans for 2025 and I was slowed down by lots of illnesses. It felt like I was sick every month! Usually a cold, nothing serious, but just bad enough to make me not want to work on my dreams and just sleep. And then there were a few times I had a really bad cold or cough and that was complete misery. And then when I wasn't sick, one or more of my family naman ang may sakit!

Oops, napa-Tagalog ako bigla. Ganyan talaga pag nagiging emotional ako haha

Anyway, so writing all my dreams in the guided vision spread of the BDJ Planner made me focus on what hindered me last year, crystallizing what I needed to focus on first so that I will be unstoppable in 2027!!! 


Here's my January monthly spread! Not a lot written down yet but that covered part, that's a big deal. I will let you know all about it soon enough! 

My Word for the Year is not final yet. But I've written down SLOW PRODUCTIVITY in my daily planner to remind myself to take it slow, that what matters is "Slow and steady wins the race" and not "Fast and furious but then you get sick and not get to the finish line." So one step at a time and be intentional in focusing on the projects that matter so I can finally finish them!


Anyhoot, the BJD Planner is undated. So, yeah, I spent a few hours over the holidays just writing down dates and decorating it with washi tape. Like I said earlier, it's a serious planner this year, not a lot of frills and fancy stuff, so I just busted out the stickers and stamps and had fun decorating! 


My first few days of the year are pretty empty, and I'm really trying to slow down so that I can prioritize my health, but I am very excited for 2026.  I have an upcoming announcement and I can't wait to let you know about it! So I have lots of plans, lots of goals, and it's so fun that I have you, my dear Loyal Readers, along for the ride again. Plus, the BDJ Big Dreams Journey planner! 

This 2026 is going to be a great year! 

Buy your own BDJ Big Dreams Journey Planner 2026 for only Php 896 here!

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Friday, January 02, 2026

Happy New Year! !

Happy 2026, dear Loyal Readers! 

The photos here aren't from today. They're from my new year, my 49th birthday a few weeks ago. I'm sick with a really bad cold in these photos. And we didn't know it yet, but my youngest, my eldest, and then my husband - in that order - will get dengue one after the other in the following weeks. So if I thought I was feeling poorly here, I ain't seen nothing yet! 


But, as with all things that happened in my 49 years, we survived dengue. I will say that I have never been more terrified in my life. Yung napaluhod sa dasal ba sa sobrang takot. And sunud-sunod pa talaga silang nagkasakit. Hindi talaga ako natulog ng isang buwan, mamas. No joke. And all this while I had work and one more healthy son to care for. 

I developed a consistent muscle spasm by the side of my head and, even when they were already well, I still couldn't sleep. I finally went to the doctor and I was diagnosed with fatigue. Meron pa lang ganung diagnosis?! He said even though the danger was past, my body was still on hyper-vigilance mode. So, for the first time ever, I was prescribed a sleep aid. Three tablets lang naman para raw makatulog ako. But stubborn me, I didn't take one until the weekend, which was days after, because I had so much to do, I couldn't afford to sleep. 

So that was how my new year started, and that was also why I resolved that for this 2026, I am going to prioritize sleep and healthy living. 


I had so many plans last 2025. But, grabe, lagi akong may sakit. Or kung hindi ako, yung pamilya ko. Dengue aside, we were all just sick enough so that I didn't have time for my plans of world domination! 

But I am still proud to say na kahit sakitin ako at exhausted last year, I was still able to get writing gigs. My articles came out in MEGA, Vogue, Smart Parenting, and The Beauty Edit. It is soooo nice to see my byline again! I also wrote stories and poems. And started books! Yeah, hindi pa nga tapos yung mga werewolf romances ko, nag-pivot ako to devotionals / memoir. 

So we'll see what happens next! 

"We'll see" kasi I think I will slow down na muna. Masyado akong ambisyosa last year, napagod tuloy ako. Aalagaan ko muna sarili ko, devote more time and energy to nourish this middle-aged body so I can be strong enough to make my big dreams come true. Kasi, imagine niyo ha, I was operating on near empty last year pero may mga significant accomplishments pa rin ako. I think I was also still a great wife and mother. And I was still showing up at the office and hitting targets left and right. Paano na lang kung I am at my 100% best and healthiest??? I would be unstoppable! 

And when you're 49, to even still have goals and dreams and be excited for more of what life has to offer, that sure is something. 

In fact, for 2026, I have something up my sleeve. A few somethings actually. I am so excited to tell you all about the first one! Soon, soon. I know you'll love this big project! 

So, if you're wondering what happened to my last year, that was it. Lots of highs and lows. But I am still here! With more to give than ever before. I thought life would get more boring as I get older. Hindi pala. Papunta pa lang tayo sa exciting part, mamas. So if magkasing-edad tayo at feeling mo nalampasan ka na ng life, at panahon na ng mga bata naman, no. Every day is a new opportunity to do something new! 

And, despite all my excitement, my something new will be, funnily enough, slow down na muna. Magpapalakas muna ako kasi marami akong pangarap pa, and God willing, you'll see them all come true. 

So please pray for me as I diet and exercise and sleep early (it's 1 AM as I type haha). Once I feel strong enough, let's run this new race together! 

It's such a happy new year! God bless you all. Mwah! 

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Thursday, September 11, 2025

Here's how to have a simple wedding

There’s nothing wrong with having a big church wedding with 300 guests, a gorgeous designer gown, and a wedding reception that costs the same as the deposit on a family home if that’s what you want. I have been to many outrageous, elegant, outlandish, or crazy weddings that obviously cost a pretty penny (lotsa them!) and they are all as meaningful as a civil wedding at city hall (yes, been to a city hall wedding, too!).

Our wedding looked fancy but it really was a simple affair.

Now if you're one of those who prefer a simpler, more minimalistic wedding that is just as beautiful, but which won’t cost nearly as much, then here are some ideas to help you create the simple wedding of your dreams:

Trim the Guest List
The first step to having a simpler wedding is trimming down the guest list. You do not have to invite everyone you know to your wedding. Only inviting the people you truly care about is what matters in a truly important event such as your wedding.

But in our dear country where everyone knows everybody, how does one get away with that??? You don't. You'll have angry neighbors, resentful relatives that you don't even know, and enemies even who can't comprehend why they weren't there to scowl at your happiness. How do you trim the guest list then? Here's what I accidentally did: Vince and I scheduled our wedding on a weekday because April 18 was the anniversary of our first kiss. Vince didn't want to remember another date, so April 18 it was even if it was a Thursday. I invited 250 people but only 140 RSVP'd they'll come. Why? "Because we have work." Guys, you work every day; I get married once in a lifetime. If you can't take the day off, half the day off even to attend my wedding then #alamnathis. 

Another tip my friends shared is to do a destination wedding. Invite everyone in the world! But pay only for the trip of a select few. Inviting everyone means you care for them but only the ones who care for you will spare the time and expense to be there. 

Semi-joking aside, I really wish Filipinos didn't get so sensitive about invitations. Weddings are so personal. So only the people who you really want to be part of your happiness should be there as this is the best way to ensure that you have a truly meaningful wedding day.

Buy the Rings Online
It’s not a wedding without the rings, but if shopping for jewelry isn’t your thing and you don’t want to be pressured by an insistent salesperson into going over your budget when she shows you lots of shiny things and flattering you, you can shop in peace at a great wedding ring website (check out https://www.whiteflash.com/wedding-rings/tacori/). As my Loyal Readers know, I am a huge fan of online shopping. It helps me consider lots of choices within my budget without having to talk to a stranger. If there had been local jewelry brands that had online shops back in my day, I'd definitely have shopped online!

Tip: Many jewelers also offer jewelry financing options, so you can comfortably pay for your dream rings in installments without stretching your wedding budget.

Vince's cute nephews (they're teenagers now)! We got our rings from a bridal fair—also a great place to find good deals. 

Buy Everything Online!
Since we're shopping for rings already, check out the rest of your wedding needs online. No need to spend for parking and gas and eating out. You have the entire world at your fingertips! You can buy your flowers, shoes, suits, gowns (check out styleaisle for fab gowns!), cake, and souvenirs from the comfort of your own home. The best part is you can save because you can compare prices and avail of discounts. Try it!


Limit the Dinner Choices
Okay, as a Pinoy, I firmly believe that you can make tipid on everything but never the food! Long after the day is done, you'll only have photos to remember the day, right? But your guests will remember the food. They won't remember your designer gown, your crystal goblets, your diamond-encrusted tiara, or the song of your first dance (although I do remember this one wedding where the newlyweds danced to "Maybe It's You." Maybe??? Everyone was giggling.). What they'll all remember for years to come is what you served them and if it was bad or good. 

I read somewhere that half your wedding budget should go to food. That sounds crazy but it's true. The longer your guest list, the bigger the food bill. It’s easy to spend a lot on food if you decide to offer a wide range of dishes and desserts, so what you do is limit the food choices. You don't need hundreds of different appetizers or a dozen cakes, right? Just a salad and few pika-pika, a meat course (with a choice of fish, meat or chicken maybe), some carbs like rice and pasta, and a couple of desserts, that's okay! As long as you ensure that there is at least one option for people with special dietary requirements such as vegans or allergy sufferers, then having a couple of simple options that are nice, but not too fancy is all you need.

We had a lovely sit-down dinner that our guests still talk about a decade after. Our cake was homemade by a friend.

While we’re on the subject of food, it’s much simpler to pay a little more and have the whole deal catered by a prefessional (try https://www.bitecatering.net/). Some things you can do yourself but when it comes to feeding a big group of people, get help. Many people think catering their own wedding, with the help of friends and family is the simpler option, but it is actually very stressful, so be mindful of that.

Delegate
It’s pretty natural to want to have control over what is one of the biggest days of your life, but that doesn’t mean you can’t delegate, and you should if you want it to be as simple as possible. Hence the booming business that is called wedding organizers. They pretty much call the shots at the wedding so that the bride and groom can enjoy their day. However, their services are pretty expensive.

If your wedding is small and simple enough and you happen to have an amazing bunch of helpful friends, then you probably won't need a wedding organizer. The key is to work out what you want and then delegate specific tasks to friends and family. That way, you do have control over what your wedding will be like, without having total responsibility for making things happen.

In my case, I couldn't afford a wedding organizer. My photographer wanted me to hire one because he didn't want to bother me daw, but walang budget! So I just asked my sister to take care of the day itself. I wished I had asked more people to help out, though. I think my sister got stressed (love you, Jacqui!).

My dear friend Kate Torralba was the designer, stylist and wedding singer! 

Do It Yourself
Now, if you really want a simple affair, with as little interference from strangers as much as possible,  then you can make your wedding a charming, homemade affair. Taking the DIY approach to everything from invitations to flowers is actually pretty simple. Maybe you can create your own invitations and print them out at home versus navigating the millions of choices available at shops. If you have beautiful handwriting, you can address the envelopes yourself (I did!). If your mom has a lush garden, maybe she can create shabby chic bouquets for you and your entourage. Ask your friends what service they can give to you as a gift (just don't be an unreasonable, entitled and demanding bridezilla!). Your wedding can be even more memorable and meaningful if everyone who made it possible is someone who loves you.

Was your wedding a simple affair? What tips can you give couples looking to have a simple wedding of their own?

*This post was originally published in February 14, 2018.

*This post contains affiliate links.


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Sunday, August 24, 2025

Inevitable

Can I make kwento—a weird little story? But don’t get scared. Sa tanda kong ito, marami na akong napagdaanan. Recently, I realized something that makes me curious. It’s weird. But maybe it’s nothing. You decide.

People who have hurt me in the past ended up dying difficult, natural deaths—stroke, lingering illness, slow decline. I had nothing to do with it. Matagal ko na silang napatawad. And yet... how odd, right?

I take no pleasure in their horrible deaths. I never wished it. But I remembered that when I was struggling to forgive them—kasi ang sakit-sakit talaga ng ginawa nila sa akin—this Bible verse always gave me comfort: “Do not look for revenge but leave room for the wrath; for it is written, ‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.’” (Romans 12:19). Leaving it in God’s hands has allowed me to let go of the pain, forgive, and move on. 

And then… I started noticing the pattern.

My Lolo Manong, Lola Auring, Papa and Mama. They're gone now. But they made sure to warn me about gabâ.  

My parents and grandparents are from Leyte and Samar. They call it gabâ. 

“Ang gabâ dili magsaba.” 

Retribution doesn’t announce itself. It just comes. It is inevitable. 

My Lola used to say that even if you forgive, the universe still needs to balance the wrong. Kaya daw dapat maging mabait ako. Because even if I repent, the universe will demand justice. Scary, no?


Anyway! I don’t wish anyone harm. But I find myself watching, wondering, waiting—how the story of four more people who hurt me deeply will eventually unfold. Four more people I'm now looking at with trepidation. Because if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s this: gabâ always comes.

*Ripples photo by Vitaly K. on Unsplash

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