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Monday, February 22, 2010

In defense of Cinderella

My V-Day post was popular with the ladies but I didn't post all the comments because some girls said they'll break up with their boyfriends because they're not as great at gift-giving as Vince is. Oh my! I don't want anyone getting heartbroken, okay? Then there was this one comment that said she now has hope because it's her dream to marry a rich man one day and she loves how Vince "rescued" me from "poverty" and that I am "a true Cinderella."

Let me tell you about Cinderella. Yes, she was always portrayed as this poor girl whose lot in life improved when the prince fell in love with her. But though gold-diggers everywhere worship her as their heroine, let me point out the facts in the story that everyone conveniently looks over:

1. Cinderella was the daughter of a nobleman so she wasn't poor. Her stepmother and stepsisters made her their slave but no matter how many times she washed clothes or scrubbed floors, that doesn't change the fact that she had very aristocratic blood running in her veins.

2. Being of noble birth, Cinderella had been educated to become the wife of an important man. Her grace, her charm, and her dancing skills didn't just appear out of nowhere. That's why when the prince met her, she knew exactly what to do because she's been trained all her life for that moment!

3. The prince is still a man and being a man, he gets attracted to pretty girls. Being a prince, he also knew that he had to get a suitable wife. Imagine if Cinderella showed up at the ball in her rags. Will the prince even spare her a glance? Perhaps. And then he'd have her thrown out of the palace!

I'm not being a pessimist here, just stating the facts. Even Diana, Princess of Wales, was adored because she was the modern-day Cinderella, the girl-next-door who caught the eye and heart of the Prince of Wales. Now, who lives next door to a prince anyway? Someone just as wealthy and aristocratic! And Lady Diana, daughter of the Earl of Spencer and a member of an old noble line, has more British noble blood in her than all of the Windsors (they're Germanic).

So while those telenovelas and movies love that storyline, it just doesn't ring true. In real life, you usually fall in love with someone who's just like you--same school, same neighborhood, same church--which means you're usually from the same economic background. Of course this changes when you start working. Your circle widens, and the more money you make, the more people you meet. But somehow people still end up with people who are still the same. Devout men marry pious women, intelligent men marry smart women, crude men marry women with no manners, vain men marry shallow women and so on and so forth.

With Vince and me, it wasn't any different. Sure, my family was poor when we met but we weren't always poor. Things just got bad economically in our teens. But my parents had already planted the seeds--sent us to exclusive private schools, made us read the Shakespeares and the classics, taught us good manners and right conduct, the works! I knew how to use all those forks and knives in an elegant dinner setting, I knew how to dress for every occasion, I knew how to make small talk.

So when Vince met me, it wasn't like he had to cross huge distances for us to understand each other. For one thing, Vince preferred speaking English because he spent his childhood in London and Hong Kong. Imagine if I didn't know how to speak English! That'll be the end of it! Next, Vince is a writer and I am, too, so we hit it off immediately because we shared a passion and a love. Next, we both love books and we love to read, and that definitely increased the attraction because we can't stand people who don't read books! Plus, there are an infinite number of things people who love books can talk about. And it's been 11 years and Vince and I are still having long conversations!

This is me and Vince after Mariel's lovely beach wedding yesterday. 
We're both exhausted--it was such an emotional day!--but very happy!

Nope, I'm no Cinderella but I do love my love story because it may sound like a fairy tale but it's real, it's love. I didn't marry Vince for his money or his looks or his brain or his whatever. I really did marry for love! So, to you gold-diggers out there, yes, a well-off lifestyle can be achieved by marrying a rich man--it's been done before!--but it's so much better to become rich first yourself. Then you value your own worth, you know you belong in the same world and, most important of all, you didn't need a man to make your dreams come true. Cinderella will tell you the same thing!

8 comments:

  1. I don't want to spark any bad vibe in your blog but that Cinderella comment has got to be the tackiest of all. Geez. I didn't think your wonderful love story could spur such a comment.

    Oh well. To each his own. Your blog post sure did prove how classy you are, Frances. And I agree when you said that telenovela plots of poor-rich love stories are not exactly real.

    PS: I love your yellow dress! It radiates your sunshine-y personality! :)

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  2. I love this post! I agree with every word you say! :)

    P.S.

    Show me photos from Mariel's wedding!:)

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  3. inspiring! the best love post i've ever read. i was even inspired to write my own. :)

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  4. Oh hahahaha, that comments are too funny. Na-inspire pa sa iyo, Ms Frances, para maghanap ng mayaman! She didn't get the real essence of the V-Day post na its not the mamahalin stuff that made you fall in love with Sir Vince hahaha

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  5. Hi Frances,

    I backread your posts to look for the one where you wrote about your dermatologist, I remember that her clinic is in the same building as my orthodontist and I want to sched a visit on the day of my next dental appointment, and I couldn't stop reading your blog!

    I read your blog all day at work (light day at the office today) and just clicked on "Older Posts"--UNTIL I GOT TO THE VERY BEGINNING! :D Eight hours well spent.

    I just love, love, love your blog. I truly am a fan of yours, and a fan of Frances+Vince.

    I wish you all the best, and thank you for entertaining us with your blog posts. I'll keep on readin' for as long as you're bloggin'!

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  6. Haha. For some reason, that comment made me laugh. I don't know why exactly. But I don't think my amusement has nice origins. LOL.

    Anyway, I kinda agree with you about Cinderella. It was never my favorite fairy tale, mostly because I found the prince in the Disney movie too stupid and lazy. What if he knew Cinderella in rags before the all the glitz and glamour? And why did he make his father and the duke search for her? And yes, I will admit, I kinda was a pessimistic kid. Hee.

    And can I just say, you look so pretty in that picture! :D

    PS. I do believe in love, but I think fairy tales make girls expect too much from romance. :)

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  7. very good logical statement ms. frances.

    people with the same feathers, flock together.

    i have a boyfriend for 11 years already ms frances and if we do not love each other too well, we could just leave each other asap, but we did not. precisely because we share a lot of commonality.

    i think this goes to some aspects of life, aside from finding the right person for us, i.e. friends.

    Have a wonderful day ms. frances!

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  8. Nice love story... it's actually Disney-worthy!

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