TOPAZ HORIZON

Hello, mamas! Feeling like you need to breathe in the middle of this busy week? Well, between juggling the household chores, the job(s), the bills, the friends, the husband, and the kids, we're always hoping for a break so that we don't break. 

It's hard to raise a parent - the parent being us!

I think all of us - moms or not, mentally well or not - all of us can learn a thing or two from Kaycee and her book. My takeaways are: Be honest with yourself and with others. Be kind to yourself most of all.  

Snippets of Sanity: On Mental Health and Motherhood by Kaycee Enerva is only USD 2.99 on Amazon Kindle and USD 7 for the paperback. Find more stories by Kaycee on her blog The Macho Mom!

*Visit the blog every Wednesday night this June for my reviews of books written by Filipino mommies! Support mommies! Support literature! Support local! 

Buy my book, Not Invisible 

Like my Facebook page, Topaz Horizon Blog

Follow me on Instagram, @francesampersales

Follow me on Twitter, @francesasales

1. Beachborn 3 Kings shampoo bars

This local brand offers 7 shampoo bars in their roster of hair care products. Shampoo bars are just as effective as liquid shampoo, but because they're solid, their paper packaging is more environment-friendly. Choose from the 7 variants according to your mom's specific hair needs and get them in a bundle.    

2. Mirth & Yift Belinda rose quartz drop earrings

Meticulously handcrafted, these pretty drop earrings are so feminine and flattering. Grab a pair for yourself and gift another for your mommy. 

4. Meadow scented wax tablets

Made from luxurious wax to capture perfume, these pretty wax tablets with dried flowers can be displayed on a tray on your desk so you can catch the fragrant whiffs as you work. You can also place it in a pouch made of muslin or lace and slip it into your closet for OOTDs tinged with perfume. 

5. Gentle Hour scented candles 

So in love with the attitude of these empowering candles! The luxe scents, the unapologetically feminine, and sassy candle names are definitely going to uplift and inspire you and all the moms in your life!

6. Prana Movement Studio virtual signature sessions

You don't have to go to the gym to stay fit. Gift yourself and your mom a Pilates workout! You can tone, stretch and strengthen your bodies together but virtually. If you're a group, the classes get more affordable! So gift these virtual fitness classes to your mommy barkada!

7. In the Beloved Love Notes from God 

I love these little cards of love. It's a small box with 25 illustrated Bible verses and sometimes I pick one out and that's my meditation for the day. I also slip some cards into gifts for family and friends. It's a really nice gift to inspire and bless mommies.

8. Solenn Manila Mother's Day bundle 

Oh, this is so yummy! The special Bibingka MNL bibingka bites are topped with queso de bola and glazed ham. The soft and moist pastry together with the chewy ham and cheese, the mix of sweet and salty - so good! The Nanay Luisa's Truffle Queso de Bola spread is soooo good, they really ought to sell that in a huge jar because we finished ours quickly!

9. Quirks So Many Books bookends  

For the book lover mommies who also love a quirky shelfie, you have got to give them these bookends! It will make her bookshelf look clever - just like her!

10. Not Invisible: A Memoir 

Of course, this list won't be complete without my book on marriage and motherhood! Hundreds of copies have been bought and many mommies have written to me saying they loved it. I just know you'll love it, too. Dearest Loyal Readers, please support my debut book and gift it to all the moms in your life! Thank you! 

I hope you like my list of Mother's Day gifts from Pinoy-owned brands. Please buy local and show your mommy (or yourself) some love!

Buy my book, Not Invisible 

Like my Facebook page, Topaz Horizon Blog

Follow me on Instagram, @francesampersales

Follow me on Twitter, @francesasales

I bought At the School Gate by Sandra Nicole Roldan a couple of months ago. I met Sandra at the 1999 U.P. National Writers Workshop in Baguio, the same workshop where I met my husband, Vince. Sandra also met her husband, Paul de Guzman, there. We were all fellows in possibly the most romantic writers' workshop ever. So join workshops if you're looking for your soul mate! Joking aside, Vince and I like supporting local literature, especially the work created by our fellows. At the School Gate is Sandra's first book.

Since my readers are mostly mommies, I figured I'd do a book review because At the School Gate is a children's book. At just 40 pages, all fully illustrated by Nina Martinez, it appears to be a simple little story about a teenage girl's adventures outside her school. And it is, except that the story is dark and scary because the girl's father is hunted down by real monsters.

This is the story of Ella Cortez, a child of an activist against Martial Law. In the 1970s, activists who criticized Marcos were arrested and jailed without evidence. Many were tortured, and many were killed. My parents were Marcos Loyalists and they told me this was a lie. And I was a Marcos fan, too, until I met the survivors - my professor Marra Lanot, my mentor Jo-Ann Maglipon, and my colleague Pete Lacaba. I was so embarrassed to declare one time that Marcos was an amazing President in front of Sir Pete. He looked at me and smiled sadly. That was when another colleague told me about his activism. Then I had to confront the fact that my parents were the ones who lied.   

The book follows Ella's story as she is fetched from school by her auntie at the school gate. Ella is not living in Martial Law times anymore. She is 15 years old so this is 1991. The country is under the Aquino administration, supposedly the golden era of democracy, a safe time. Her father is now an NGO worker, making documentaries. But Ella finds out from her aunt that the government captured and tortured her father again. The whole family must now stay together to keep her safe. It didn't feel safe. There is malevolence and fear haunting every page. Ella realizes quickly that even though it's her father the government is after, the threatening presence of a henchman shadows her every move. Will she be afraid or will she be brave just like her father?

At the School Gate is an important book, especially and frighteningly relevant in these dark times. Many would argue that recent events of red-tagging schools is a good thing. The government is just trying to protect students from communists sweeping through the halls and recruiting gullible young girls and boys to go against the government. But my argument to that is this: What's the overwhelming proof that state universities are churning out communists? You'd think there are thousands upon thousands of students joining the New People's Army every year. But there hardly are any. Not one person can come up with a verified list of even just a hundred students who joined the NPA in the last year. 

I don't even understand why the government is threatening the universities when there are no physical classes. The campuses are ghost towns in the nearly year-long quarantine. There's no one there to recruit, and therefore this issue is illogical. Yet we are haunted and threatened by it. 

Student activism shouldn't be a priority, especially when there is a global pandemic. Yet it seems to be an issue that won't go away. What's the oft-used phrase of this administration and its defenders? Kung walang masamang ginagawa, walang dapat katakutan. Something like that. Why are all our administrations so afraid of students and activists then? 

At the School Gate shows us that activists just want a better life for their children, except that in their fight for a better world, their families suffer. Is it worth it to sacrifice your family, your life, on the altar of democracy and freedom? It's a question I'd have said yes to when I didn't have children. But I'm ashamed to say motherhood has made me a coward. That's what this book made me realize.  

And that's why this book must be included in every Filipino home. It opens our eyes to the truth that democracy is a tenuous thing. We must not take it for granted. Some people risk their safety, happiness, and their lives fighting for it. Will At the School Gate ever be required reading? Sad to say, as long as we have leaders who are corrupt and hungry for power, this book will be dangerous material. 

To be honest, I haven't read this book to my kids yet because it's too raw and scary. It shouldn't be. Martial Law was three decades ago. But it's all still happening, especially today. I thought I'd be able to tell the boys, "And that was a dark time but these brave men and women saved us from a dictator and now we're free! There's nothing to worry about anymore. We are all safe." But I can't say that. Not yet. I hope, in 2022, I will.

At the School Gate by Sandra Nicole Roldan is available on Shopee for just P223.

 Way back in 2006, I blogged about a little dream in this post: What I think about on a slow Sunday evening. Six years later, I brought it up again in  My bookstore haul and mentioned it very quickly in Photo dump!. I dreamed of coming out with my own book, it will be published, of course, and hopefully loved by people enough to buy it and tell others about it.

This week, that dream came true. Please check out my new book, Not Invisible: A Memoir!!!

I shared the good news yesterday over at my social media that it's real - I am now a book author!

Okay, I don't know why my book came out in the Educator Biography category. It's not entirely inaccurate, given that I used to be a preschool teacher and I'm homeschooling now hahaha. But it should be under Parenting and Relationships. I'll ask my publisher, Ukiyoto, about that. 

And today, this happened:

#1 New Release

#8 Best Seller in Biographies of Educators

#13 in Two-Hour Biography and Memoir Short Reads

Not Invisible: A Memoir is a collection of the best posts from Topaz Horizon and Topaz Mommy. The latter is not accessible to the public anymore but for this book, I went back to that beloved blog and picked out a few essays. So if you've never read Topaz Mommy or you did and you miss it, please buy my book!

After selecting the best posts on marriage and motherhood, I realized that it wasn't a simple task to just put them all together. They had to make sense together, to have a consistent thread, and to flow well. That was not easy. I took out half of the text! From 40,000 words, I went down to 22,000. I edited and rewrote it all for print. Online writing is different, you see. I wanted the print version to read like a book, not a blog. So now many of the posts chosen for the book read like entirely new essays! 

I was also aware that readers of the book will be people who may never have heard of me. So I had to pay attention and make sure there was no reference that only made sense to Loyal Readers or people who know me. And while it's still very much about my life as a Pinay mommy, it also had to appeal to an international audience. Making this book wasn't easy (check out a behind-the-scenes scene)! 

So I assure you, if you are a Loyal Reader, that you may have read many of the posts on the blog but they are quite different in the book. Much better actually because now they're edited mercilessly! I want you to know that Not Invisible is a wonderful collection! Look at what my editor said:

I also had the help of my most favorite editors, Kat Dy Peters, Nicole Romero Vagner, and my most favorite editor of all, my husband, the Vincent Sales! Having four published books under his belt (fiction), his opinion was valued. In fact, I was a little scared to show him my work haha. On one hand, he's my husband so I'm sure he'll be kind. On the other hand, he's one of the best writers, editors, and authors I know so I was intimidated. 

I also asked my Loyal Readers to help me out! I sent out a few "help me!" messages and the response of encouragement and excitement wowed me. They were even more excited than I was! It was crazy haha Their excitement was what I needed to keep working on the book even though I was plagued with self-doubt and imposter syndrome. Ugh. I hate that imposter syndrome. So thank you, dear Loyal Readers, for helping me get rid of it! 

A dream only comes true with the help of others. I am so grateful to everyone who's helped me out, especially my friends and readers who asked me every year, "When are you coming out with your book?" That constant faith means the world! Look at where their faith got me!

And since we're on the topic of faith, I do want to share that last year, I was praying to God, "What do you want me to do? I feel like I have a book inside me but I don't know how that's going to happen and if it will ever get published." I kept praying about it and then, out of the blue, Ukiyoto Publishing, a traditional publisher in Canada, sent me an email, said they loved my blog, and asked me to submit a manuscript. Ukiyoto had just set shop in South East Asia and wanted to publish regional authors. And the rest of the story is above!

So I need to end this happy post with words that aren't my own but ring true now more than ever:

I just put down this super interesting book, The Overseas Fabulous Pinay: A Modern Filipina's Handbook on How to Thrive Abroad. It's by Donna Avellana Künzler. She may have a foreign last name but she's Pinay through and through. Donna was born and raised in Cavite and took up accounting because all she ever wanted to be was a CPA like her dad. However, she became an Information Technology Auditor and Consultant instead. Her #ovfabpinay life started almost 20 years ago when she moved to Singapore for work. From there, she moved to the USA and then to my favorite city, London. Always because of work (how lucky is this woman?). She is now based in Switzerland, working for a Swiss global company, responsible for finance process governance and standardization in the finance organization. 

Donna's a new mommy to a baby girl and I really admire her because she was working, writing and producing a book, and making a baby all at the same time! That's amazing! I know this because - full disclosure - I helped edit the manuscript so my deadline was the most unusual in my editing career: I had to finish editing before Donna gives birth. And there's no pushing that deadline haha I was also working when I was in the delivery room with my first baby but I had already turned over most everything to my staff. A whole book is a whole different story. It's personal. It's also like a child. So for Donna to be working on her book and preparing to give birth is a whole new level of devotion.

Because Donna is so conversational, even chatty, the book is so easy to read. It literally feels like I'm sitting on my couch, sipping my coffee, and chatting with a friend. Well, the author is the one doing the chatting while I'm eagerly listening.

It feels fast-paced, though. Is that a bad thing? Well, no. I just feel like the author was rattling off all her useful information (there's a plethora!) and I haven't absorbed anything yet and she's already off on her new topic. That's why I'm glad this is a book. I can go back and take notes. I feel like if this was a talk, I'd be asking her to "Wait, wait, let me just write that down!"

I think Donna anticipated this. Her book is well designed to highlight the lists upon lists of tips, advice, documents, rules, and many more. So you can easily find everything you need to know. There are colored boxes, checklists - it's really quite a useful reference book. In fact, it was a finalist for Best Interior Design at the 2020 International Book Awards. 

Speaking of awards, Donna's book is a Gold Winner at the Nonfiction Book Awards."This is a really upbeat book that is helpful and inspiring for anyone considering moving overseas. It has lots of tips, lists and questions to consider both before and after a move," the review says.

As you can tell, it's worth your pesos to grab this book and worth your time to also read it. And don't let those awards intimidate you - this is such an easy-to-read book. I do think you won't finish it in half a day since there is a ton of information to process. So take it slow and pay attention, especially when you reach the chapters of settling abroad.

Every single part of the book offers practical tips. What I found especially useful was the chapter on the unique lifestyles of each country. I've always been a tourist, staying at hotels and going to places that catered to the foreigner so I've never actually experienced how it is to be a local. 

So all of Donna's stories about paying attention to the culture was eye-opening because of course people treat tourists differently than they do people they work with, no matter what country you came from. As they say, "When in Rome, do as the Romans do." I also liked all the stories on how to find a home, getting a driver's license, and being aware of rules and certain ways of life that comes from living in a cold country or a disciplined country. 

For example, I was amazed that in Zurich, you have to buy official trash bags. And they are expensive. You can't just use any trash bag like we do here in the Philippines. Trash is also segregated and you better make sure you sort your trash because if you don't, the district council will issue warning letters to you, your neighbors will complain against you, and you just might find yourself homeless. Serious stuff! 

I would've wanted to know how to find work and move to another country, though. Donna didn't address that because that wasn't her experience. She's lucky enough to have gotten job offers before moving to the countries she's lived in. But for my husband and I who are contemplating moving abroad since we're not happy with where our country is going, we'd love to know how to grab those good jobs. 

We're told by our immigration agent that we need to move first then look for a job there. That's terrifying. We're old so it may take time for us to find the good jobs and neighborhood that we can live happily in. But we have kids so we can't afford to fail. So it's like a chicken-or-the-egg thing for us. Do we look for a job first and hope the employer asks us to move there? Does one of us go first and establish our home? Do we just risk it all and move everyone and hope we don't hate our new life? Tough decisions.

Another thing I wanted to know was sure tips on how to become a permanent resident or citizen in the country we're moving to. Are there secrets? Will it cost a lot of money? Will it take years upon years? Those issues were important to me but weren't discussed. Maybe those will come up in her next book (I hope she writes The Overseas Fabulous Pinay Mom!) or in one of her online talks.

 

Yes, Donna has lots of online talks! Just visit www.ovfabpinay.com because Donna always has events lined up. She has other #ovfabpinays over for chats about how to live fabulously abroad. Join the #ovfabpinay Facebook community and follow @ovfabpinay on Instagram for more updates. Donna is very friendly and encouraging of her fellow Pinays who would love to start a new life abroad.

And of course, do grab your own copy of The Overseas Fabulous Pinay: A Modern Filipina’s Guide on How to Thrive Abroad by Donna Avellana Künzler. It's a really good read! Get it at major online book shops Barnes & Noble, Kobo and Amazon for P750.