Monday, October 04, 2021

This is mine.

Hello! I'm alive. And I am sooo alive! As a royal watcher, busog na busog ako the last week of September. And it looks like the feast isn't going to stop! Why? Well, now that the US and the UK have their vaccination programs in full swing, life has gone back to a kinda pre-COVID normal. That means the royals are out in full force! 

First, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle were in TIME's 100 Most Influential issue and I am so here for Meghan's pantsuits. New Sussex Brand look, guys!

If you disagreed with TIME, well, sorry na lang but tama sila because a few days later, Meghan came out of her year-and-a-half hibernation and maternity leave to take on New York with Harry for important and high-profile meetings and events. They helped raise over a billion dollars for global vaccine equity. That's measurable influence, guys. A BILLION DOLLARS' worth of influence.  

Then hindi pa ako nahimasmasan when Kate Middleton came back from their summer vacation in the most fantastic fashion! You'd think she went to the premiere of James Bond GoldenEye, Goldfinger, or Golden Gun instead with how dazzling she looked. 

This is the very BEST Kate has ever looked. Ever! The movie premiere was for charity but wala akong mahanap na news outfit that says how much money the Cambridges et al were able to raise but bet ko hindi siya a billion dollars.

So let's give the "Harry and Meghan are irrelevant" schtick a rest. 

But I'm not blogging today about the fantabulous fashion show both duchesses put on. Or their charity work. I'm actually here to kinda talk about me. Yes, because this is my blog, not a royalty blog! For my royal updates, follow me on my IG Stories - @francesampersales - because it's masaya and chismis-y there!

Today on the blog, I want to talk about how such high-profile women doing so much good and looking so good in the process aren't projecting confidence and power. 

Look at how Madam Duchess was covering her body. People speculated she was hiding her baby weight. Ako naman feeling ko hindi lang yun. I feel like she was hiding herself, hence the coats in not-chilly New York. After all, she's the target of so much online hate and this was her first time to be seen publicly since March 2020. I can imagine the fear.

But even when she wasn't a royal yet, diba parang lacking siya ng absolute confidence when she's in public. In photoshoots, yes, galing niya mag-project (refer to TIME shoot above). But when she's meeting people IRL, may air of terror siya. Also may people-pleasing air about her (like Kate). That's not a bad thing, okay! I'm just saying she kinda looks like she's hindi pa siya sure sa nangyayari sa kanya. Even at her wedding.


Eto naman si Kate same din. My goodness. She looked AMAZING! Absolutely amazing. But hindi niya carry yung dress. She's not used to that level of high fashion. Yes, she's worn many designer clothes but she's always chosen the elegant, the safe, and the boring. This is the first time she wore dazzling and while she had the face and body and stature for it, she didn't have the attitude for it. She didn't wear it; it wore her. She couldn't even walk properly in it. She kinda shuffled along when such a dress needed its wearer to glide, stomp, and strike a pose. 

I know you'll disagree but celebrity watching and entertainment journalism used to be my job. I'm professionally trained to study how celebrities carry their clothes and project themselves on the red carpet. And, no she's not a Hollywood celebrity so she's not trained in glamour but gosh, it's not so hard to study glamour. She can watch a few red carpet events or she can study her own mother-in-law! 

Diana knew how to wear a dress. And she also knew how to charm the public and the media. She had this signature move - as she's about to enter the venue, she'd pause, turn back slightly to look at her adoring public, and smile. Connect with your audience, show another angle of the dress, smile for the cameras. That's a celebrity. She had the confidence to know she looked good and that everyone was there for her. She knew how to bask in that glory of adoration.

And that's what's bugging me about me. Nag-start ito a few weeks ago when the Venice Film Festival happened. I loved how all the stars were owning that red carpet. Like I said, celebrities know how to bask in glory. And I was enjoying the show until I saw this:


That's Zendaya. I have always loved how stylish she is. She's always had fun with fashion (no safe and elegant with this woman). And she's so young but she has always had this innate sense of self. She's so aware of her body and how it looks crazy good in clothes. She has a confidence that should've come from years and years and years of living life. But she's always had it. 


I don't have that. Si Kate and Meghan din, obviously wala. Can you imagine the duchesses with the Zendaya attitude? Nope. Hindi ko sinasabi na dapat magsuot sila ng ganyan. Not even saying they should pose like that. Just the attitude of "I'm supposed to be here. This is my space. This is my time." Yun ang wala.

I wish I had that. too. A couple of weeks ago, I attended the Lean In Circle Session (join us at Lean In Manila!) of Awaken Women. I spoke with the ladies about how to be visible. It was a talk inspired by my book, Not Invisible. At the start of my talk, I said it's not always good to be seen. I mean just look at Kate and Meghan and the unforgiving scrutiny they get. Do we seriously want that? It was my attempt to reassure everyone that invisibility isn't always a bad thing, that it's okay to be a nobody sometimes, and I said I'm okay with diminishing myself.

But their Circle leader Charl Banzal, who is a life coach and digital entrepreneur, asked me why someone like me still feels imposter syndrome. Someone like me? Charl listed down all I've achieved and hearing her say my long list of accomplishments sounded so good. It also sounded like she was describing another woman, not little old me.  

Argh. I just denied myself. What a betrayal. Why am I like this? Did you know that every time a brand asks me to work with them, my first thought is, "Me? Why me? I'm nobody." Even when I was putting my book together, every time I promote it now, I agonize with thoughts of insecurity. And I hate feeling this way. I'm so proud of my book! I think every mother and everyone who has a mother should read it. My attitude should only be: "I'm supposed to be here. This is my space. This is my time."

I read somewhere that our first thought is the voice of the people who raised us. So if your first thought is racist, sexist, homophobic, hateful, self-defeating, then be aware that you can own that thought, dismiss it, and change it. You don't have to let the voices of your childhood be your own. So whenever I think, "I'm a nobody, I'm not worthy of anything," I immediately arrest that ugly thought. Then I have to tell myself, "I'm amazing. I'm so smart. I'm gorgeous. I have the best life. I have accomplished so much. I got this!"

That usually gets me out of my insecure thoughts. But I don't do it all the time. It's exhausting to life coach yourself haha. But when I do, then the public me comes out. The public me is my alter ego - The Journalist. When I'm on The Journalist mode, I'm curious, sociable, and conversant. Yes, like Beyonce, I have my own version of Sasha Fierce. I'm very much an introvert. Any and every social setting gives me anxiety. But when I'm on journalist mode, then I transform. I'm very good at what I do so I let my "woman who works" alter ego take over. Yes, even at family reunions! That's still me anyway. I'm not being fake, I'm just being another version of me. 

But I do wish I don't have to pep-talk myself all the time anymore. For heaven's sake, I'm a middle-aged woman! Hindi bagay sa edad ko. I want to be Zendaya 24/7. Or JLo. Rihanna. Charlize Theron. Beyonce. I suspect even they have a public persona, though. Can they really be owning it 24/7? I guess every one of us has an alter ego. Do you? 

I don't want to have to keep calling on my alter ego all the time, though. I want to own my success and be proud of what I've achieved and who I am. I want that version of me to be the default me because that is me. I worked so hard to get here. I'm supposed to be here. This is my space. This is my time. This is mine.


Saturday, September 25, 2021

Is a portable air conditioner the right choice for your home?

Our main air conditioner, the one that cools down the living room, dining room, and kitchen (and sometimes the entire condo!), conked out a few months ago. Around June, I think. Initially, I had thought of immediately buying a new one because it can get so hot in Manila, right? But I figured let's see if the kids (used to aircon almost 24/7) will survive. After all, we're Pinoys so we should get used to the tropical weather. Almost 4 months later, they're fine! 

I'm the one who's not fine haha! It's so hot! If you follow me on Instagram, you'd know I'm always in spaghetti-strap dresses or dasters. No more OOTDs for me. The heat has made it impossible! I was hoping that the rainy season would offer respite but, nope, it's really hot. So my husband and I have been doing some online aircon shopping! Also, a guest post about portable air conditioners landed in my inbox and it's so relevant to me now, I might as well share it with you!
 

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Having an air-conditioned home in a tropical country like the Philippines is definitely an advantage, particularly during the summer. In fact, you don’t even need to air-condition the whole house. Installing an aircon in just the bedroom(s) will still be able to make a huge difference in your comfort levels.

However, an air conditioner may not be the best choice for everyone. There may be circumstances that can prevent you from installing an aircon in your home, such as a lack of space. In cases like this, a portable air conditioner might be a viable alternative. Below is a quick look at portable aircons that can hopefully help you make a decision.

How a Portable Air Conditioner Works

A portable air conditioner works like any other “traditional” air conditioner: by converting the refrigerant from liquid to gas and then back to liquid by passing the chemical through a set of coils. This process absorbs the heat, which is then released outside through a discharge vent. For window-type aircons, this is found on the back of the unit that hangs out of the wall or window. For split-type aircons, it’s part of the outdoor component.

For portable air conditioners, you’ll have a window kit with an exhaust hose so the hot air has somewhere to go. Thus, in theory, you can move a portable aircon from room to room. However, if you do this, you’ll also have to move the window kit. It’s still easier than a window-type or a split aircon, but it’s not comparable to simply moving an electric fan or an air cooler.

Portable Air Conditioners Are Perfect for Renters

Considering the way a portable air conditioner is set-up, it’s a good choice for renters who aren’t allowed to make modifications to the unit. It’s also a great option if your house doesn’t have enough space that can properly accommodate the exterior side of a window aircon or the outdoor component of a split-type model.

Portable air conditioners are also great for spot cooling and small rooms, such as a home office or a bedroom. Window-type or split aircons may be too big for these spaces, so choosing a portable model might be the best option to achieve the temperature you want.

If you need to cool down a bigger space, you simply need to follow the same principles for aircon sizing: large spaces need higher BTU ratings and vice versa. You should also take note of the EER or energy efficiency rating, so you can pick a model that won’t make your electricity bills skyrocket.

The Benefits of Portable Aircons

Aside from easy transport, portable aircons also let you maximize natural light. If your home has limited windows (e.g., an apartment or condo), blocking it with an aircon unit can be counterproductive. You also have more freedom with regard to placement. As long as the exhaust window kit can be set-up correctly, you can put a portable aircon anywhere in the room.

Finally, a portable air conditioner is so much easier to install. You don’t need to drill holes in the wall or alter your windows. There’s also no need for special tools and equipment. You simply have to take the portable aircon out of the box, set up the window kit for proper exhaust, and plug it in to enjoy the cooler air.

Do note, however, that portable air conditioners are noisier than both window and split-type aircons. This is because many of the parts that are supposed to be located or pointed outdoors are combined into the indoor unit. Still, if you aren’t that bothered by the loudness, portable air conditioners are a great way for cooling down a space.

What About an Air Cooler?

There’s another option for Filipinos who want to beat the heat: an air cooler. Also called an evaporative cooler, an air cooler doesn’t have refrigerants. Instead, it has pads that you can soak with water. When air passes through these pads, the water evaporates and cools the air. The blower then recirculates this cooled-down air around the room.

One big advantage of air coolers over portable aircons is their energy consumption. What’s more, because they only use water (or sometimes ice), air coolers are much more eco-friendly. The downside is that air coolers aren’t designed for humid climates, because it saturates the air with moisture. This can quickly become uncomfortable during the summer. It can also be dangerous if there are electronics in the room, since the added humidity can damage circuit boards.

In the Philippines, the best use of air coolers would be in rooms with open ventilation. This way, the moisture doesn’t get trapped inside and the air won’t feel stuffy or sticky. If you have to close the room, your best choice for cooling would still be an aircon (whether traditional or portable).



Being a tropical country, the Philippines has plenty of sunny days that easily turn from pleasant to unbearable. The good thing is that there are plenty of appliances to choose from to help you cool down. If you’re looking for a compact but powerful option, a portable air conditioner might be just what you need.

Sunday, September 19, 2021

Frances Finds: My favorite house in Sun Valley Antipolo!

Hello! House tour again this weekend! Okay, just so you know, I really really like Sun Valley in Antipolo. Tapos yung barangay nila, the name is Barangay Inarawan. I like it. Seems like a sunny place to live in! Maganda yung energy niya!


I have friends who bought a lot there. So excited for them! Ako, kahit gusto ko dun, medyo na-intimidate ako sa layo ng village itself from the main gate. Like parang mga 20 minutes na drive pa. Layo! Paano na my Foodpanda deliveries???

Anyway, I found a new house I like! It's in Sun Valley and it is soooo nice! Look at it surrounded by trees. Haaaay. Yun lang naman and reason why I dream of somewhere else - I want my kids to run around and get sun exposure and mag-amoy-araw. It's kinda weird to have little boys and, because they've been quarantined since March 2020, they smell sooo good. Walang pawis at all. So they don't smell like what little boys should smell like.


Ganda ng video na ginawa ng Property Hunter. May top view! So I fell more in love with this house because of all that green! Sigh. And ang laki ng garage, mga 4 cars yan. Isa lang naman kotse namin so what's the point? Wala lang. Space! My kids can play there. With our dogs! Haha yes. I want a dog! But bawal sa condo namin so eto dreaming as usual.


I like the facade. Love the broken roof line. Love the elevation. Love the huge door and the big windows. Love the warmth of the wood. Is that wood? Anyway, maganda siya.  


Here's the ground floor! Eto yung living room and dining area. You know me and my love affair with huge glass windows! Maliwanag. Maaliwalas. Presko. All that light and all that green!!! But my husband and I don't like white floor tiles. Parang opisina ang dating.


Eto yung garden/lanai. This is what's missing in many houses for sale. Walang garden usually. This one meron. I really like that! Plus, see that room to the left? That can be our home office. Since the pandemic has made working from home the norm now, it's good to have a room dedicated to just work. And I like how this room looks out into the garden. Nakakatanggal ng stress.

Okay, that's all the photos I have! I couldn't grab more because yung channel host na si Sandro was practically in every frame. Pinili ko talaga yung wala siya at ito lang yun. Ganda pa naman ng kitchen and bedrooms! Watch niyo na lang yung video to appreciate:


Again, hindi ako nagbebenta ng bahay. Don't leave "hm" sa comments please! Wala rin akong commission sa mga home tour videos ko. I just really want to share my virtual visits to homes far far away and dream! Have a good weekend dreaming with meeeee!

Thursday, September 09, 2021

When I made my son's dream come true

This week was extra busy for me and my second boy, Iñigo. For a few years now, my kids have been saying that when they grow up, they want to be YouTubers. It's a dream I frown upon. But because my parents discouraged me from becoming a writer, I wasn't going to do the same thing to my kids. Nope. 

My husband said we won't discourage them but they have to prove that this is what they really really REALLY want. And then we'll support. We told them the best YouTubers loved doing something first and they shared that something with the world. So cooking, video games, toys - what's important was they had a hobby, job, interest that they made videos of. They were Someone first before they were a YouTuber. So we encouraged them to have a Something and be a Someone, and then vlogging will come easy.  

We also never said they can't be YouTubers. We told them they have to figure out how to be one because neither their parents were vloggers so we really didn't know how to help anyway! And for years, their dream was all talk, no action. So we didn't think they were serious about it.


This summer, however, my boys learned to program. And my second boy, Iñigo, took to it like fish to water. He was churning out video games in a few short weeks on Scratch, and other kids were telling him his games were cool. I'm so proud of him. Even more important, he's so proud of himself.

Last month, he announced he wanted to start his YouTube channel. He said he wanted to share his love for Scratch and Minecraft. He has found his Something and his Someone was he was going to be a teacher. 

I resisted because I didn't know how to make videos myself! But finally last week, I promised we'd figure it out together. But when the weekend came, I backed out. I was tired. I wasn't interested. And I really didn't want him to be a YouTuber.

Iñigo got sad. He looked betrayed. But he said he understood. And that made me feel worse.

So what the heck, let's do this! So I sat him down and had a heart-to-heart. I told him why I didn't want him to be a YouTuber. I said, "The internet is an ugly place filled with mean and hateful people. I don't want you to go out there and they'll say mean and hateful things about your work and about you. Or what if no one 'likes' your video or no one comments? That hurts, too. You're a kid. You can't handle these things yet. Even me, I'm a blogger for 15 years now and my grown-up heart gets very hurt at mean comments."

I also told him that the opposite can be a bad thing, too. "There's also a danger in getting lots of likes and fans. You'll start building your self-worth on likes. But what if you made something they didn't like? Then you'll always want to make something that will make others happy when you should be creating work that makes you happy," I said. 

We talked late into the night and he agreed that I'll screen all comments first. He'll tell me if anyone was being mean or threatening or making him uncomfortable. I also told him it's important to not take things personally. But, my goodness, he's a kid! How can I protect him from the world? 

We talked about internet safety and many other things. He told me about his dreams, his plans for his videos, and that he'll be responsible and always tell me and his Papa everything. Finally, I was convinced. I conceded that he really wants this YouTube channel and so what's a Mama to do? We make it happen!


We Googled everything! We set it up, we troubleshot, we plotted and planned. And I was annoyed sometimes. I really didn't want to do this and I was sleepy and frustrated at all the things we had to learn! But he was so happy and excited. He was going to do Scratch tutorials and let me tell you, I'm not his market at all. I told him to make this or that instead, but he said, "I'm not doing this for likes, Mama. I want to help kids like me!" 

So I went through with it, researching with him, guiding, explaining, and finally... Iñigo launched his YouTube channel.


At 3 AM on September 7, 2021, Iñigo sat back, exhausted but bright-eyed. He said, "So this is how it feels like when your dream comes true."

My heart exploded! It was worth it. He fought for his dream. He worked hard at it. And that made his accomplishment even more amazing. I'm so proud of him. Even more important, he's so proud of himself.

In two days, he made FIVE videos. That's how excited he is. And I may not understand his dream but I realized that's not what's important. All he needs is for me to support him all the way. 

I learned a lot this week. How to set up a channel, make and edit videos, fiddle with all the settings. I also learned how to be a supportive parent. And that's the best lesson of all. 

Monday, September 06, 2021

Frances Finds: Modern duplex house in Antipolo

Let's go back to house tours! I showed you one last month, right before I disappeared because of work and school. But I said that the north was too far and so I started looking towards the east, and I found this duplex in Antipolo. I like it a lot! 


This duplex is newly built and located in lower Antipolo, near Xentro Mall and Masinag. So magandang-maganda location niya. Di malayo sa sibilisasyon pero very suburbia pa rin. If you watch the video, you get the feel na probinsya siya. Pero ang lapit nito super sa modern conveniences. 


Okay, bago ko pa ituloy ang post na ito, hindi po ako nagbebenta ng bahay haha I'm just really stuck at home and super bored. One of the things I loved to do before the pandemic was go on house tours. Literally. As in I would knock on a stranger's door or gate and ask to see their house. Most of the time, sa sobrang gulat ng mga tao, they let me in! They show me around. Kwento-kwento. Then alis na ako. Yun lang. Masaya na ako. Is it safe what I do? No. Don't do it! But so far, lahat naman ng bahay na pinuntahan ko, mababait ang mga tao so God is good. And people are good!


Anyway, back to the duplex. Gusto ko siya kasi maliwanag at maluwag. You know I love big windows. Di ko lang type yung divider sa dining room. It's ugly and unnecessary. 


Here's the dining area. It's right by the kitchen and there are huge doors that lead out to the lanai. I imagine opening up those doors and planting lots of flowers outside and then I can have coffee or my black tea while basking in the sun.


Here's the spacious kitchen! Again, maliwanag. I like the white countertops. My kitchen now is black granite countertops and backsplash. The black granite was nice 14 years ago but now I'm looking for a really white kitchen. It's my age. My eyesight is going bad and I now have a hard time seeing things in a black kitchen. So I'm attracted to white kitchens.


Here's what the ground floor looks like from the far corner of the kitchen. Big enough but not too big. I really like the maaliwalas feeling. Okay, now let's go look at the master bedroom upstairs!


This is the master bedroom. It looks bigger in the video. I like the balcony, but I'm thinking it would be nicer enclosed in glass and transformed into a sunroom or a study. There's an en suite bathroom, too.

There are also 3 bedrooms on the second floor aside from the master bedroom. And I have 3 sons! So I like to imagine that each boy will have a room when they're teenagers. 

Right now, they all like to sleep in the same room. They laugh and chat and sing till late in the night. It's very sweet. Very loud, though, and parental duty obligates me or their father to come knock and remind them to go to sleep. The house goes quiet but soon the whispers start again and they chat and giggle and sing, and I let them be.

It's nice my kids have each other. In a pandemic, they've done surprisingly well. I hope they like each other forever! But for that to happen in their teenage years, I think they'll need separate rooms. And this house has three perfectly sized rooms with big windows! Super love this duplex talaga.


There are two things I don't like about this property, however. First, it's bad feng shui. Haha para namang Chinese ako! But I just wrote about 7 feng shui tips to know when selling real estate for Upside PH, and I found that a property that's in a T-junction is very bad luck daw. And I quote from my own article: "From a practical standpoint, a house at a T-junction is a bad idea because the home will always be lit up by headlights and suffer the noise of car horns approaching the T-junction. In a worst-case scenario, if a car loses its brakes, it will crash into the house." Check out the article for other scary, mysterious, and ghostly reasons not to live in T-junction house.

Second, it's near an events venue (see that white wall). Pandemic naman ngayon so walang events but when this pandemic ends, that events place will mean lots of cars parked on the street, music and noise till late in the night, and dealing with strangers who might block your gate with their car tapos sila pa galit. Basta alam niyo na yun.

But everything else, type ko talaga. But... not the house of my dreams and not the neighborhood of my dreams. It's stilla really good property, though. 

Prayer ko talaga kay God ngayon is bigyan niya kami ng house of my dreams in the neighborhood of my dreams haha I'm really happy where we are now, okay. Our condo is really good! My friends ask me now and then if I want to sell our place. My realtor friends tell me our condo can fetch a really amazing price if we ever sell. I really live in a good place! 

Kung di lang dahil sa never-ending quarantine, di ako mangangarap ng ibang bahay. But kids need to run around, get some sun, discover insects and flowers, and just basically use up all their energy shouting and chasing and being little boys. 

Maybe one day soon. Pray for us!