Sunday, April 17, 2011

On the importance of a very public wedding

It's the eve of our fourth wedding anniversary and Vince and I found ourselves talking about how we ended up having the wedding of not our dreams. If you know us at all, we're not the sort of people who dreamed of white gowns and designer bridesmaid dresses, tearful speeches and towering cake, first dances and gorgeous photo shoots, and all the extravaganza that weddings entail.

Nope, we are not fans of, in our minds, such corny fare. Even now, yes, even with our lovely wedding that had a designer cream mermaid gown and avante-garde striped dresses for the entourage, no dramatic speeches, no dancing, no silly souvenirs and no photo shoots fit for fashion magazines. We toned it down, waaaay down, but we still had a wedding that was nowhere near the simple, just-the-two-of-us affair we had wanted. 

Do we regret it? Nope, not at all! Having been there and done that, we now see why the oldies insist that weddings be grand. Let me tell you about this pastor who gave the most memorable wedding sermon ever.

The couple were about to exchange their wedding vows and the pastor--I forget his name--suddenly called the attention of all of us gathered there. I can't recall his exact words so I will paraphrase. He said, "This young couple are promising each other forever and you, all of you, now are guardians of that vow. If one of them slips, if one of them strays, if one of them forgets, you who are here must remind them of this day. You, by being here, are bound by their oath and it is also your duty to make sure this couple stand by theirs. You are not just guests. You are guardians."

He added, "It isn't easy to be married. It isn't easy to stay married for the rest of one's life. We humans are too weak. And in the end, we die. That is why when two people promise to love each other anyway, in the face of the certainty that life is filled with temptation and defeat, it is almost ridiculous. Or it is divine. There is no other way to explain it. Nothing on earth lasts forever because even these wedding vows end with till death do you part. But love, love transcends death. And everyone here witnessing this marriage will have a memory of this day and while those memories last, this love lasts, this promise stands."

At our wedding four years ago, 140 guests showed up. Then the wedding came out in the pages of Inquirer and Wedding Essentials magazine. I don't know how many people read those. It's safe to say that there's a lot of people out there who know I'm married to Vince and that he's married to me. If Vince and I had gone ahead with our plans to elope to Vegas (okay, that's a joke), it would be too easy to hope that no one will know or care if we forget our marriage once in a while or maybe even just quit it altogether. 

But we have guardians. Our marriage is protected, whether we like it or not, because while those memories last, this love lasts, this promise stands.       


  1. Happy anniversary to my one of my idol married couples! Even if I don't know either of you personally, your marriage inspires me in so many ways! Every time I read one of your posts about your married life with Vince, I can't help but be excited about our wedding and our married future married life.

    Oh, and I love how you wore a watch on your wedding day!


  2. F, that indeed is a very nice sermon. I've been to many weddings but only few sermons stick to my mind. Thanks for sharing this, and your wedding tale as well. =) Happy 4 years to you & Vince! *Hugs*

  3. Love the last photo. Beautiful!!

  4. happy anniversary to the both of you!!!! God bless your marriage!!!

  5. this got me teary-eyed :')
    Happy Anniversary to you both!
    oh and i want that kind of pastor on my wedding day. err a priest i mean :)

  6. Happy anniversary, Frances!

    I still remember researching for my wedding, and stumbling upon that entry in your blog about your reception when Google gave me results for "pink brown wedding." Seems like ages ago!

    That pastor is right. All those people in our weddings testify to the journey we've begun with our spouses. Our officiant said "love never gets smaller," and it's true. I hope your marriage will continue to show forth the fruit of love. You two are so sweet!

  7. Happy anniversary to you both!
    I believe that marriage (or any relationship)works when both parties commit and contribute. It's awesome to evolve together!

  8. Thanks everybody! Your well wishes are appreciated. Marriage isn't easy but it's a lot of fun! =)

  9. Hi Frances! Can I re-post this blog post? I was researching about my own wedding and remembered this beautiful entry.

    Thank you,

  10. Sure! It wasn't my idea anyway. Just sharing the pastor's very insightful ideas =)


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