I'm still the editor of Calyxta.com but I took on the Nickelodeon gig because my kids love their shows. As I type, we are watching Peppa Pig. The other shows we watch (yes, we because I have to watch with them!) are Spongebob Squarepants, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Loud House, The Fairly Odd Parents, Alvin & The Chipmunks, and Rabbids Invasion. What do your kids watch?
Anyway, I'm here to announce that the super fun Nickelodeon Slime Cup Run is back! Mommies, I saw the race track na and it is AMAZING. The theme this year is a slime factory so they designed an obstacle course that will have you slip through entrance tubes, slide down clean up pipes, jump into a ball mill, treading carefully through filtration pipes, and finally getting a complete wash down... with slime of course! You and your kids (and your pets!) will have so much fun!
Plus, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles will be there! And Kids Choice Awards Favorite Pinoy Star 2017 winner Nadine Lustre will be handing out the awards to everyone who crosses the finish line! And you'll get slimed at the finish line!
Don't worry—there's a lot of shower areas to clean up afterwards. You can also opt to NOT get slimed, but as my mommy blogger friend Shari of The Misty Mom said, "I want to get slimed!" Slime is part of the fun!
In case you'd rather sit it out, meron din Nickster's Hub where you can relax and enjoy the booths of the sponsors: Nissin Pasta, Propan TLC, Skechers Kids, Toy Kingdom, Pet Express, venue partner Megaworld Lifestyle Malls, official cable partner SkyCable, and media partner Inquirer.net.
Join the Nickelodeon Slime Cup Run now! Register family and friends at Chris Sports branches at SM Mall of Asia, Glorietta, Market! Market!, SM North, and SM Megamall. You may also pre-register online at www.nick-asia.com/slimecuprun. You have to register before May 24 so you can get your race kits which will include singlets.
Registration fees per race starting from P350 to P600 will apply. Proceeds will go to the Philippine Animal Welfare Society (PAWS) so if you know someone who loves animals but isn't joining the Slime Cup Run because they think it's just for families, tell them they can join it and raise money for animals instead!
And now... A GIVEAWAY!
Because I'm new at Nickelodeon, I'm debuting with a fun giveaway!
THE PRIZE: One (1) winner of four (4) race kits for the 4K Double Loop Run!
THE MECHANICS:
1. Share one or both of the posters below with your Facebook friends and/or Instagram followers.
2. Say why you want to be at the Slime Cup Run!
3. Share this link: www.nick-asia.com/slimecuprun.
4. Use the hashtags #SlimeCupRunPH and #THxNickelodeon.
5. Pray. =D
I'll pick the lucky mommy (or daddy) on Monday, May 22, 6pm. Good luck!!! CONGRATULATIONS TO JEAN RICAMATA!
My second boy turned 5! Can you believe it? I can’t. I know moms always say, “Oh, where did the time go?” and I do say that, too, but I also want to add that with Iñigo especially, I feel that the time was too quick. I’ll explain more in another blog post because right now, I want to share this nifty little find: Cheers Picnic Set!
Get a basket for the home, the office, the car, the bakasyon, the everyday!
Cheers is a brand of paper towels for the kitchen and for parties. Cheers also has starch-based cutlery sets and trash bags. Yes, biodegradable!!! So if you want to throw a party at home or at work or in your kid’s school, or you just want your everyday needs at home be met with tools that are kinder to the environment, then cheers for Cheers!
Okay, so back to the point of this post—my particular mom find! It’s the new Cheers Picnic Set. It comes in a cute little coated paper picnic basket. The set includes table napkins, cutlery, and garbage bags. So thoughtful, diba?
And biodegradable! So thoughtful talagal!
I picked up a Cheers Picnic Set for Iñigo’s little party here at home. We had cake, ice cream. Simple lang. That’s how we are. That’s our happiness! But my kids can still make a big mess so I like that I can put the Cheers Picnic Set basket right on the table to manage the mess but it will still look pretty sa pictures!
Love it! Sana lang I can tell what the color of the cutlery is kasi Iñigo’s favorite color is red and he’d have loved it if our biodegradable spoons and forks were red. But pink will have to do! Iñigo’s fine with pink because we told him it’s a diluted red hahaha
Fork for the cake? Check. Tissues for icing smears? Check. Trash bags for happily torn off gift wrapper? Check.
So we had a little party for my darling boy, my kulot, my sweetheart, the most tender one, and my wee wittle Wiggle. I’ll tell you more about the party soon! Meanwhile, check out the Cheers Picnic Set and please wish my Iñigo a happy birthday!
Cheers is available at P60 SRP and is sold at SM, Puregold, Robinsons, and Metro supermarkets.
It's Mother's Day this weekend and Facebook is full of heartmelting video tributes to mommies. I've spent not a few minutes wiping away my tears as I watched these videos. One of these videos is from FERN-C kidz. My Loyal Readers know my kids take FERN-C kidz vitamin C supplement so I liked their Facebook page. That means their updates come up on my feed. That's how I saw this video:
Awww, diba??? So my kids saw me crying while I was watching it and so they watched it with me and I was feeling all tender and thinking, "I'll ask them nga if they think I'm a good mama."
My voice breaking, I asked, "Vito, Iñigo, do you think I'm a good mama?"
Iñigo said, "Well, when you get mad at us, you're not a good mama."
Vito said, "Yes. Peppa Pig's mama never gets mad at her and George even when they make a big mess."
Lokong mga bata, kasing honest ko!
Now before you think my heart broke into a thousand pieces, it didn't. In fact, we giggled when they said that! My kids and I are extremely honest with each other. We talk a lot about our thoughts and feelings, and I tell them all the time that they must always be honest with me. I'm frank and honest myself. I expect no less from my own offspring! When they're mad at me, they tell me. When I make a mistake, which is often, I apologize. They're quick to say sorry, too. We're really an emotionally open bunch!
It's not easy to be a working mama. Because we have no household help (the cleaning lady that came in thrice a week quit because of her alta presyon), I'm so exhausted all the time. So I'm on a short fuse when the work and the chores pile up, when I haven't slept for days, when I haven't showered, when I haven't eaten a proper meal. I admit I yell. That mom in the FERN-C kidz video, si Mommy Iggy, sobra akong relate when she said, "Minsan talaga bigla ka na lang magbu-burst, eh, na parang, 'Can you give me like five minutes?'" Story of my life. I'm always saying that! "Give me a minute so I can just finish this. Five minutes and I'll be there. Just please one minute of complete silence naman diyan at bingi na ako sa ingay niyo grabe!"
The kids don't like it when I yell. I don't like it either. But sometimes I just can't help it anymore. I'm too overwhelmed! But we talk about it. I apologize for yelling. They apologize for making a mess/punching each other/whining about the food. And then we hug and kiss and the world is all right.
I may not be the ideal mom (what is that anyway?) but I still think that I'm a good mama anyway. I love it that my kids feel safe enough to always tell me what they feel—even when it's not the feelings I'd like to hear hahaha. I'm raising boys who aren't afraid of their emotions, who trust their mother to love them through the ugly issues, and who are as unflinchingly honest about their truth.
And anyway, my kids weren't finished yet. Vito said, "But you're a good mama, Mama. I love you so much, Mama, because you're always taking care of us. That's why you're tired. So sleep na!"
And Iñigo said, "Yes, you're a good mama sometimes. Okay, okay, all the time!"
And Piero said, "Mama, wuv you!"
It's not always easy to give my best and to do my best for my kids, but they just proved to me through this always honest talk that I may be doing something right after all. But, okay, maybe a little part of me wished they just said I was perfect! These kids. They're not like other kids. They're just like me! Sobrang honest!
May you have the same honest love and communication between you and your kids, mommies! Happy Mother's Day!
Hi mommies! I'm here to tell you about my exciting new find—Simply Modular furniture! Since rearranging the furniture a couple of years ago, my husband Vince and I have hatched plans to do something about the blank wall behind the TV. Sun-burst mirrors. A collection of framed art prints. Built-in shelves so we can move out the books in the boys' room, which used to be our home office in our before-kids life. A wall of cabinets for extra storage and to hide the TV. We always planned our plans whenever we watched TV (so that was every day haha) because look at it:
Soooo saaaaaad! How could we have lived like that?!? (Hehe, so melodramatic.) Well, we had to live with that because we just couldn't find the energy to have carpenters come in and build shelves and cabinets for us. We live in a condo and there's so much red tape and fees just to have people come over to OUR house and fix OUR house, services that WE hired and paid for using OUR money. I mean, seriously, with the way condo management polices what we do in OUR homes, you'd think THEY own the place! So even if we want to do stuff like a simple cabinet installation, a paint job, or an entire home renovation, we get defeated.
And then Simply Modular sent us an email and told us to check them out.
Simply Modular Furniture System was designed by and for megacities. Yes, Simply Modular is from Hong Kong, Japan and Korea. Now it's in Manila! It's basically panels that snap together so you can assemble them any which way you like to create shelves, cabinets, closets, tables, desks, cribs, beds—whatever you like!
I liked Simply Modular because we can design the specific furniture we needed, and then as our needs change, we can reassemble the panels to create new furniture. Amazing! Vince liked it for the same reason plus the fact that every Simply Modular piece is made of high quality ABS plastic. So it's basically LEGO! That also means they're waterproof, termite-proof, and rust-proof! And, unlike IKEA (which almost destroyed our marriage hahaha when we built our kids' bed), Simply Modular is so easy to assemble! Look!
So we agreed to have a starter kit sent our way. As soon as we saw the panels, we liked them so much, we bought more! Good thing there's a wonderfully made website to shop at: www.simplymodular.ph.
Okay, big con for me was that the website (at the time I shopped) did NOT accept credit cards or PayPal. As a longtime online seller and shopper, I know that a basic requirement of any online shop is to offer easy online payment options. I almost quit at this point because this means I have to shop at the store. My longtime readers know I hate shopping at malls! But since Vince had his heart set on Simply Modular and because I love him so very much, we made the looooong trip all the way to SMDC M Place in Panay Ave., Quezon City, to shop for the pieces we needed.
Ideas: shelves, TV console, cabinets.
Ideas: Desk, side tables.
So many colors! We picked white, orange, blue and green. I'm still dreaming of that pink, though!
After our shopping trip, we were super excited to build! Simply Modular, being flat panels made of plastic, comes in tidy boxes that are easy to transport. They're not that heavy, too.
Bottom panels have attachable legs.
The sets can hold weights up to 200 kilos so your kids can sit and lie down on them.
No need for screws or pegs. Just click the panels together!
And here are the finished shelves!
Sooo happy!!! We love our Simply Modular shelves! The entire thing cost us about P15,000. (And it was so easy to assemble, it didn't cost us our marriage, too!) That's actually affordable because these shelves will last forever. And I can reinvent them into another piece of furniture, too! Like what my kids did with the extra panels:
They made a stage for their puppet shows!
The first store is at G/F SMDC M Place, Panay Avenue, Quezon City,justbeside ABS-CBN. I'm glad to report that more branches are opening this year at SMDC malls below SMDC condos. Hooray! There's an SMDC mall near us! I'm thinking of replacing the TV console with Simply Modular shelves and cabinets, too, because the darkness of the wood doesn't look so nice against all those happy colors. I'm also planning to make my laundry room pretty and efficient so I really want to shop at Simply Modular again!
It's May! Another month whizzed by and, boy, things have sure been busy for me lately. Thanks for still sticking around and for engaging with me on Facebook and Instagram. I've also tried Twitter again because I want to see if it's still an effective platform for me. If it proves to be a howling wilderness after a month of Tweets (check out #TopazTweetsOnTues), then I guess I'll just delete my Twitter account.
Anyway! Because I've been busy elsewhere, this blog was the one that turned into a howling wilderness. Don't worry! I am not quitting blogging. I've just been busy with work but my contract is done and so this May, I'm going to blog again! Here's what I'm going to share with you, dear Loyal Readers: my online shopping finds from Calyxta, Adobomall, and Kamiseta, my wedding anniversary celebration at Baguio, my new finds for the home (Simply Modular shelves and Cheers picnic party sets, my new ways to look more fabulous (Kilo Off and Flawless treatments, and more! I'm so happy I'm blogging again!
I'll also be doing workshops again this month, and Manila Workshops is hosting my first workshop this year! It's called Boss Bellas: Mompreneurship 101 - a workshop exclusively for moms who want to go into business. Please sign up! We'll have fun! Lots of prizes!
This also means I'll do a Facebook Live post soon. I always do a Facebook Live broadcast before a workshop. It's how I practice! I'm very nervous doing workshops, you see. I almost always throw up just before! But ever since I started doing FB Live before a workshop, I found that it calms me down. My most popular FB Live topic was "5 Reasons Why No One is Reading Your Blog." So here's a blog post about five more!
Tip to get more readers: Share your blog posts everywhere!!!
You may have heard the success stories of bloggers getting thousands of readers a day. You may have thought to yourself, "Why can’t my blog be like that?" The truth is that growing an audience for any blog is difficult – especially nowadays when there are so many out there. Here are some of the reasons why your blog may be suffering, and how you can fix this and get the readership you deserve.
1. You promote only your blog posts on social media.
The biggest reason why so many blogs fail is because they're not promoted well or not at all by their authors. Social media is key for keeping people up to track with your latest content as well as interacting with your readers. If you haven’t already, create a Facebook page and a Twitter page for your blog. Invite all your friends to follow these pages and then make sure that you keep posting any new content the moment it’s published (you can use plug-ins as found at CoSchedule.com to automatically post your content to social media). There’s even the option to promote posts for a small payment and guarantee more readers.
Now the next question is how do you get people to follow your social media accounts and how do you keep them? Through engagement. While of course your social media is about you, if you keep it exclusively about you, it can be a turn off. People want community, people want to engage. So while of course you'll share with your followers your blog posts as they're published, do also share links to articles that your community will like. For example, my blog is now a working mama blog. So on my Facebook page, I also share articles from parenting and business sites about the working woman life. I share news about how our government makes (or unmakes) policies and laws that will affect a working mother's career. This is a value-added service to my blog readers. Plus, they won't think my page is all about my blog—it's also a place where they can be updated about issues that matter to working mothers. Be relevant. Be useful. 2. Your content is too niche (or too broad).
Having to accept your content is the problem is never easy. It may not so much be the writing style or the layout, but could simply be the nature of the content. There may be not enough people out there with an interest in it. On the other hand, there may be too many blogs relying on the same content.
That's what happened to me. After a while, my readership had reached a plateau. I guess there was just too many mommy blogs out there. So I had to find a niche in the mommy blogging scene. Hence, this became a working mama blog! It's still about motherhood but instead of exploiting my kids (hahaha), I now talk about something that matters to me and to many mothers — our careers!
Get help improving your content using sites such as http://blogging.com/. Research other blogs related to your content and see what you can do to make yours more inclusive, or alternatively make yours stand out.
3. You’re not using analytics.
By this point you’ve probably used some form of analytics to realise your posts aren’t getting any traffic. However, you may not be using these analytics to your advantage. I got this tip early on from Jackie Go. She really learned how to leverage the data she got from Google Analytics down to when she publishes her posts. So I paid more attention to mine (I just checked it for the site stats before) and realized that when I publish and promote posts mid-morning and late at night, more people visited my blog. And that is why it's now 10pm and I'm writing this post!
If you’ve got the Google analytics plug-in installed (Blogger users will already have it installed), use this to check the age, location and gender of your audience so that you can cater your content more towards them. Find out the times when people are most regularly visiting your website so that you can post new content at this time. Stop being afraid of these figures and charts and use them to help improve the effectiveness of your blog.
4. You’re not using links.
Why do blogs need links? This hyperlink ought to explain. Search engines such as Google appreciate websites and blogs that aren’t all about them. You may think that putting links to another website will deter readers to other places on the web, but it can actually cause search engines to improve your rankings. This is a common practice used by SEO companies. You can also use internal links that lead from one post to another post on your blog. I use Linkwithin. It really helps drive traffic to old and forgotten blog posts. Try it!
5. You aren’t blogging regularly enough.
Last and most important reason of all why no one is reading your blog: You're not blogging regularly. I say this all the time at my blogging workshops because I've seen it time and again happen to my blogs. When I'm not updating my blog, the visits drop. What can I do? I have a life to live! But it's true. Update regularly and they will come!
So remember: You may not be getting the readers simply because you’re not blogging regularly enough. You’re never going to get lots of traffic by blogging once a month. Readers like a blog that feels busy. Try to aim to publish new content at least once a week. And make sure people know that you usually update on a certain day. Say, Mondays are for your family's weekend escapades, Wednesdays are for your healthy kiddie recipes, Fridays are for your thoughts on motherhood. Things like that help readers to look forward to visiting your blog. You can opt to blog daily – just make sure you’re not sacrificing the quality for quantity though.
So that's why I'm excited to blog again after soooo many weeks gone! I miss blogging, I miss my readers, and I have so much to tell! Come back this week for more updates! See you!
To find out more reasons why people aren't reading your blog, watch this!
My family loves potatoes. Mashed potatoes, hashbrowns, potato chips, french fries—my husband and kids devour these! Me, I like potatoes in my favorite dishes: caldereta, menudo, afritada, mechado, nilagang baka. Because potatoes are healthy, I don't mind serving this all the time. So you can probably guess what vegetable I always have on my grocery list!
During the holidays, my son Iñigo and I saw a recipe on Tasty (Creamy Scalloped Potatoes with Kale) and we decided we were going to try it out. Mostly because we already had most of the ingredients in our pantry and we wanted to try something new with our potatoes. I tweaked the recipe a bit and I want to share it with you because it is so delicious!
Creamy and Cheesy Scalloped Potatoes and Kangkong Gratin
3 medium-sized US potatoes, washed and peeled
4 big bundles of kangkong (leaves only)
¼ cup parmesan cheese, grated
¼ cup cheddar cheese, grated
¼ cup bread crumbs
Béchamel Sauce:
2 tablespoons butter
2 cloves garlic, chopped
2 tablespoons flour
1½ cups milk
½ teaspoon salt
½ teaspoon pepper
1. Make the Béchamel sauce: In a sauce pan, sauté garlic in melted butter over medium heat.
2. Add flour and stir quickly or else it might burn.
3. When mixture browns a bit, add milk, salt, and pepper. Simmer on low heat, stirring occasionally until mixture thickens.
4. Slice US potatoes about ¼-inch thick.
5. Pick out the kangkong leaves and shred.
6. Sprinkle salt, pepper, and olive oil over the kangkong and mix gently.
7. In an oven dish, arrange a layer of kangkong, then overlapping potatoes, then the cheeses.
8. Pour half of the Béchamel sauce over the layers.
9. Repeat!
10. Top with bread crumbs. Add more cheese if you like!
11. Bake at 170°C for 30 minutes covered with aluminum foil.
12. Remove cover then bake an additional 30 minutes till the cheesy breadcrumb topping is golden brown.
Cheese! No need to grate. This will melt to a gooey mess anyway!
Cheese, milk, potatoes... And kangkong! Great combination!
My husband loved it! The kids found it yummy, too. Hooray! Mommy win!
As a mama, I have to be more mindful of what my family eats. Of what I eat! I cook a lot of meat dishes and I really try to add more vegetables to our every meal. It's hard to make the kids eat green stuff but they like broccoli, carrots, corn and potatoes, so I serve these happily!
I want to add how my three boys will benefit from eating potatoes regularly. Here are the 5 reasons potatoes are good for very active and growing kids (and for my husband, too, who runs for fitness):
1. Potatoes haveno cholesterol and saturated fat.
A little fat now and then is always a happy thing but a lot of it can cause a whole plethora of problems like diabetes, high blood pressure, and heart disease.
2. Potatoes are rich in potassium.
Potassium is good for muscles. Little boys are always flexing, using, stretching their muscles. I know because if I don't control them, they'd destroy my house with all their running, jumping, kicking and punching! Did you know that potatoes with skin have tons of potassium—more than bananas, spinach or broccoli? I didn't! I thought bananas were the king of potassium but maybe that's why potatoes are called POTAtoes because of all that POTAssium!
3. Potatoes are a good source of fiber.
We need fiber in our diets because it helps our systems work better. Blood sugar is regulated better, weight is managed better, tummy feels full longer, digestive system functions better and cleaner. A medium potato with skin contributes 2 grams of fiber, which provides 8% of the daily value per serving.
4. Potatoes are an excellent source of Vitamin C.
Vitamin C is perfect for kids because it helps wounds heal faster—and my kids are always getting scrapes and bumps! Plus, this antioxidant keeps gums healthy, help with iron absorption, and many more! Potatoes provide 45% of our daily nutritional value! eat potatoes!
5. Potatoes are a good source of Vitamin B6.
Vitamin B6 is good for metabolism, making blood, making proteins, making you healthy and keeping you alive basically! And that's what I want my kids to be—alive and healthy!
I'm definitely going to look for more ways to serve potatoes to my family, but in healthier ways. My recipe above is a lot salty, to be honest! Next time, I'll make it with no-fat milk and no salt because the cheeses are salty enough already. For added fiber and nutrients, I also won't peel the skin. These steps should make my potato and kangkong gratin even healthier!
Please share with me your potato recipes, too! If you share it on Instagram, please tag me (@topazhorizonblog) and use the hashtag #USPotatoPowerPH so I can find your recipe!
Oh, and check out the Potatoes USA-Philippines Facebook page– the official platform of Potatoes USA Philippines to know more about potato nutrition, recipes, upcoming events, and general potato facts.
This time ten years ago, I was sick with the flu. Or maybe my wedding jitters were just manifesting as the flu! Anyway, even though I was unwell and stressed out with the wedding countdown (but my friends made me feel better with a surprise bridal shower!), I knew there was one thing I had no doubt about: marrying Vince! I loved that man like nothing else in the world and when we decided to get married, I felt a peace that I had never felt before.
Over the years, my blog readers have emailed me asking about my wedding suppliers, for a copy of my misalette, and many other questions. The one I love and dread the most is "How did you know you were ready to get married?" I love it because I have never been so sure of anything in my life! I dread it because when people ask, that already means they're not ready to get married yet and I don't know to tell them that!
How did I know I was ready to get married? There were many factors that decided it for me (detailed below), other than the fact that I loved Vince. Honestly, love isn't a good enough reason to walk down that aisle. If love was the only reason for marriage, then what do you do if the love fades or even goes away? It sometimes does, you know, when the drudgery of work suffocates you both and the children overwhelm a marriage. What happens when you fall for someone else? Or when you're far apart and can't love each other with affection and service? Marriage isn't about feelings. It's about commitment, family, duty. Love makes those easier, but if you can't commit, if you don't want to be part of a family, and if you have no honor to fulfill your duties, then you shouldn't get married.
If he's someone you really, really like, that really, really helps!
Now let's say you're already engaged. Should you busy yourself with the wedding? Of course, but don't get distracted from your upcoming lifetime commitment. This is the time you should be seriously evaluating yourself, your fiancé, and your relationship. Most couples are surprised to find that their engagement period is one of the hardest times together. Not only do you have a wedding to plan but you’re also contemplating the reality of a future with your partner. Plus, this is usually when you're spending lots of money and time with each other's family. The stress of it can be overwhelming. As long as the stress is all coming from the outside and not from each other, you should be fine!
Anyway, I wanted to share with you the questions that played on my mind when I got engaged and maybe, if you're also wishing to get married, you should ask yourself these things before your wedding happens!
Are Your Finances Secure?
Let’s face it—love won't keep you alive. No matter how romantic that song goes, you can't survive on sex, hugs and kisses. You got to eat, you need a roof over your head, you got to pay the bills. You don't have to be rich, but you and your fiancé shouldn't be irresponsible either. Can you live on your own? Can you support a family? If kids aren't in the plans, can you support your dreams?
Money affects a marriage profoundly. When you feel insecure or even afraid because the bills are piling up, creditors are knocking on your door, your kids aren't eating enough, or you can't afford the doctor or proper treatment when the kids are sick, your marriage will crumble. Marriages aren't built on money, sure, but they are built on a strong foundation of duty. Part of that duty is to provide for each other.
During your engagement, you can already gauge your fiancé's financial readiness. Do you know each other's money situation like income, debts, and assets? Can you discuss the wedding budget comfortably or is talking about money a big no-no? Are you getting into debt just to have the wedding of your dreams? Is he shooting down your wishes because he doesn't want to spend money at all? If there are money issues now, you can be sure you'll always be fighting about these when you're married so address them now before it's too late!
What Do You Want For Your Wedding?
Speaking of the wedding of your dreams, make sure it's the wedding you BOTH want. Have you ever gone to a wedding where you know it's a bridezilla up there at the altar or it was a domineering groom who's running the show? You can see just one person's personality! It doesn't bode well for a successful marriage because marriage is a partnership, not a dictatorship.
It’s important that your wedding day itself represents what both of you want. You may be the bride but remember you're sharing that "stage" with your man! Always consider what he wants, too. Think about your husband-to-be carefully—the way in which he proposed may signify what he wants the wedding to be like. For example, if he asked your father for your hand, then he may be a traditionalist.
My husband didn't ask my parents' permission to marry me because he knows I'm a feminist and I would be offended by any act robbing me of my agency. Yet even though he knew I didn't want an engagement ring, he still gave me one and an extremely traditional one, too—a diamond solitaire! This made me reflect on why we give diamond rings (because diamonds mean tradition and they signify forever) and I realized that my husband may respect my very modern attitudes but he remains old-fashioned in some areas. So I made sure that our wedding had a modern vibe but kept everything else—white dress, my parents walking me down the aisle, our vows—strictly traditional.
My wedding was all about compromise. It made me understand that it isn't about me anymore. Marriage is going to be about yielding, understanding, compromising, and working together. My wedding made me realize that I'm okay with that.
Vince said he always imagined me with flowers in my hair so I gave him that, too.
Do You Communicate Well?
The stress of wedding planning can be terrible, so if you start to bicker about small and unimportant things, don’t worry too much. It’s only natural to get snappy in times of stress! Just take a deep breath and take a step back to stop the arguments from escalating any further.
However, if you feel that your conversations aren’t productive and that you're arguing too much, then that's a big red flag. Filipinos are lucky because we're close to our family and friends and we can bring up our worries to them and they can hopefully give good advice. But I find that family and friends tend to take our side (because they love us very much!) and aren't very forgiving of anyone who causes us pain—that includes your fiancé! So maybe you and your fiancé should consider going to a relationship counselor and talking about your issues before you get married. Make sure you iron out any glitches in your relationship before you make that big commitment.
Do You Want The Same Things?
Finally, one of the most important questions to ask during your engagement is if you and your fiancé want the same things. Of course, no one is the exact same as each other. If you're planning your honeymoon and one of you is desperate to visit France and the other’s craving pizza and pasta in Italy then you can compromise. But if you disagree on fundamental issues then you might start to realize that there are cracks in your relationship.
There’s no point in marrying someone in the hopes that they might change, particularly on subjects like wanting children, keeping your career, supporting his dreams, religious and political beliefs. Some things are so integral to who we are that to spend our lives with someone who doesn't agree with those integral parts of ourselves is asking for a lot of pain and suffering.
Wanting the same things, sharing the same values, and heading in the same direction are key to the success of a relationship. While my husband and I shared many beliefs and priorities, we also had a lot of differences. He knew I liked being a career woman (his parents were the traditional husband-provider and housewife) and I knew he wanted kids (I was leery of them). Before we got married, we had a talk where he assured me he'll always support my desire to work and I assured him that with him as my partner in parenting, I'm not so afraid of motherhood anymore (I still freaked out when I found out I was pregnant more than two years later haha).
So if you have a boyfriend now or just got engaged, ask yourself these questions. If you like the answers, then congratulations! I'm so excited for you! If you don't like your answers, then see if you and your man can work out your issues. Good luck!
Hi, dear Loyal Readers! I know I've been missing from this blog for a few weeks now (I blogged just twice last month!). I'm busy with my job as consulting editor for beauty website, Calyxta.com, and also with my new column about work-at-home moms at parenting website, Juana.com.ph. Between these two new projects, home management, mothering and blogging, I didn't realize that I'll have such a hard time juggling! Life was much easier when I was just a mom blogger!
I'm not complaining, though. It feels good to be writing regularly for a publication again (and about parenting, too!). I'm also grateful for Calyxta because I got to experience corporate life again without the full time commitment. I still work from home and only check in at the office three times a week. It's helped me and my family adjust our expectations for when I go back to the corporate world. The Calyxta project ends this April so I can blog regularly again in May! I'm so excited. I miss blogging so much!
If you're a mom who wants to stay home with your kids and yet earn money, too, do try blogging. I know the web seems overpopulated with mom bloggers but believe me when I say that all mom voices are welcome here. We all need a community and it's so nice to find similar voices and feel comfort knowing you're not alone with your parenting struggles. If you don't want to be a mom blogger, that's great, too. You can write about your hobbies and interests instead. If you can earn from your blog, that's even better!
Blogging for business is an attractive career choice for any mother. Not only does it present the potential to earn good money from doing something you love, but it also offers versatility and control. Ultimately, that means you can build a work schedule on your terms, enabling more quality time with the children.
Juggling the two roles of mother and blogger isn’t an easy task, though. Frankly, failing to manage your time in an effective manner will cause major damage to both. As I've proven myself recently, I failed to juggle. Thankfully, it was my blogging that suffered—not my kids! This made me think of how I can keep things under control. Here are a few tips I found:
1. Build an organized workspace.
The toughest challenge facing any home-based entrepreneur is finding a way to use the property as both a home and a workplace. Building a quality home office should be top of the agenda. It will help separate the two elements of your life and is also a clear indication for your family too. If you’re in the office, you’re at work. My friend, personal branding coach Martine de Luna, says in my Juana article, 5 Tips to Battle the Cons of Working from Home, "When I have to work at home, I separate myself from the kids and go to my workspace on the second floor. When they see me at the desk, they know it’s [do not disturb] time."
Speaking of workspace, my husband moved my desk to our bedroom so I can close the door when I work. But as a mommy of little kids, I haven't been able to do this yet haha. Another challenge I have is organizing my paperwork. Running a business from one small room can feel daunting, so going paperless is key. Fortunately, being a digital operation gives you a great starting point. Meanwhile, an online p.o box address can save you from facing huge amounts of paperwork. Either way, finding the right balance in this arena can only work wonders for your aspirations.
2. Know your blogging goals.
While I started blogging more than a decade ago as just a hobby, I've turned blogging into a business because of my work with many brands. Of course, since it became a business, I've had to be more serious about blogging. I had to set goals beyond just sharing my stories.
Many people scoff at it but blogging is a serious job. It requires a lot of time, hard work and money. Without a sense of direction, though, you’ll find that you'll falter on the job. Unfortunately, the productivity and outcomes will be far worse, too. So as a businesswoman, know why you're blogging, who you're blogging for, and what do you want to achieve through your blog.
Planning ahead to ensure your blogging platform grows in the right way is essential. You can schedule posts regularly, make sure you share your posts on every relevant social media account, engage your readers on your Facebook page, use the right hashtags. This will help grow your blog and your influence, which will get the interest of sponsors.
3. Consider letting your family play a role.
Because mommy blogging is so lucrative these days, mom bloggers usually get accused of exploiting their children. Mining their kids' lives for entertainment, they say. As any proud mommy will tell you, sharing our kids' adorable photos and telling stories about how wonderful family life is is not about entertainment. We genuinely LOVE our kids and we're so proud of our happiness! We want to share away—whether we get paid or not!
Readers also love having that insider's peek into the blogger’s life—and nothing is more authentic than a mommy's stories on her parenting adventures. Motherhood is just so huge, demanding, surprising and profound that it's impossible to fake. Plus, everyone loves kiddies. As many readers have oh-so-honestly told me, they don't read my blog because of me; they read it because they love my kids! And it's always so amazing when a parent feels the love of people for her kids. Mommy blogging is the best!
Now, as the kids get bigger, I do believe they need more privacy. But they can still be involved in your blog. Technology plays a huge role in modern society, and today’s youth probably know more about the internet than most adults. Once yours are at the right age, it could be worth giving them a little job within the work. Whether it’s writing, building SEO, or managing your blog's Instagram or Pinterest accounts doesn’t matter. It’s a great way to bond together while they develop skills they'll need for this social media-obsessed world.
4. Invest in ideas that benefit both worlds.
If your blog is about parenting, then virtually every day doubles up as content for the blog. But as you may know by now if you've been following my blogging adventures, there will come a time when you'll want to give your kids privacy. So what will you blog about then? I've chosen to blog about being a working mama. It's still about my insights on motherhood but my kids aren't as exposed.
Many mom bloggers have transitioned successfully from baby stories to niche interests but still within motherhood. A music blogger might review the instrument that they’ve just bought their child. A food blogger may discuss family recipes. I love how my friend, Denise Rayala of Royal Domesticity, found even greater blogging success when she started her #Baonserye, where she showed the packed lunches she made for her daughter. It's brilliant really—she moved the focus away from her daughter but her mother's love is still so evident through the lovingly made lunches, plus she offers priceless tips and ideas for other moms! Squeezing great content out of your everyday life will reduce your research time and just be more fun to do.
As a blogger, you should have a creative mindset. Use it to find ways of merging blogging and mom duties, and you’ll save loads of time and effort. Good luck, mommies!
This post is brought to you by Ariel laundry detergent.
Today, on the last day of International Women's Month, Ariel honored 100 Fearless Filipinas by publishing this ad on national broadsheet, Philippine Star.
A hundred women — rich and poor, career women and homemakers, young and old — all doing their best to make the world a better place, especially now that the world seems to have become a darker place. I'm one of the 100 Fearless Filipinas and I am truly honored (second row, fourth from left). I'm also a lot surprised and when I expressed it, they told me they thought I had to be on the list because of how I've bravely chosen to work from home and for all the honesty this blog is known for.
Well, freelance work is not easy. In the five years my husband and I have been doing this, delayed checks and no projects can be stressful. I try not to worry. Believe me when I say I don't spend my days nibbling on my nails in fear. I really don't! But on those days when the bank account is nearing zero, I do cry out to God in alarm. When you're a parent, your biggest fear is not being able to protect and provide for your children. But I refuse to parent out of fear.
I grew up in a home with no money. There was always so much anxiety. There was dread when the phone rang or when the mailman delivered the bills. There was shame when we visited relatives and they all looked down on us. There was the humiliation of being the only house on the street with the electricity cut off. There was always that nagging worry. Worry, worry, worry.
That's part of the reason I didn't want to become a mother. I couldn't fathom raising children in that bubble of fear. So I worked so hard, forsaking almost everything so I wouldn't be poor. I guess I finally came around the idea of motherhood when I started earning well — when I was 32. With our combined income, my husband and I had more money than we needed and we spent it shopping for our new home. We had no debts. We had fat savings. It was time to have kids!
We had Vito and then we had Iñigo. And then we lost our jobs.
You can't imagine the intense fear I had in 2012, dear Loyal Readers. I was losing my job as a magazine editor but I was being offered a great position within the company. Nothing had to change! Yet a huge part of me longed to be a stay-at-home mommy. Imagine that! I was so happy being a mama, I had to choose between job security and mommy heaven.
I guess you all know which one I chose.
Just before I had to give the company my decision, I remember spending one weekend in agony. My childhood was haunting me. I remember an interview I did with Ryan Agoncillo and Judy Ann Santos, and Ryan revealed that his wife's greatest fear was to become poor again. Surprised, I said, "But — forgive me for this remark — you have so much money. You're both so successful. How can this even be in the realm of her imagination?" And he replied, "You know how her dad left them and they suddenly had nothing? She never wants to go through that again." And that was me in 2012. Gripped in paralyzing fear. I never want to be poor again!
I confessed this fear to my prayer group. Remember my Praying Wives group? Amazing women! Earl Paolo, our ringleader, told me that it isn't me or Vince who is the provider of our family. It's God who provides, and He just uses me and Vince as the conduit of blessings for our little boys. According to our faith, He will give. Of course we must work, too, but there will be days when we can't work — we're sick, for example — but the blessings won't ever dry up as long as I just believe God will provide.
There were many verses on God's provision that Earl gave me but the one that helped me most wasn't about God's faithfulness but about the lack of my belief.
Do not conform to the pattern of this world,
but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
Then you will be able to test and approve
what God's will is—His good, pleasing and perfect will.
Romans 12:2
That verse! That is the verse that changed my life! Even now as I typed it, I was moved to tears.
Do not conform to how this world thinks! Change how you see the world and the world will change for you! I don't have to work myself to death. I don't have to repeat the life my parents led. I don't have to be afraid. Believe in God — test Him! — and He will do wonders.
Well, did I become a multimillionaire? Did I jet off to various locations? Did I have a wardrobe to die for? No. But here's how it worked:
1) My blogs (back then I had two blogs) suddenly took off! Both on number of visits and amount of sponsorships. Like, from 30,000 views a month to almost 60,000. I have no idea how that happened. I give workshops on how to build and grow blogs but what happened to mine was so organic and so weird that I just chalk it up to divine intervention.
2) My blogs earned me more that I ever did as a magazine editor. Huge surprise! The income allowed my husband and I to stay home, raise Vito and Iñigo, and make Piero! We are both hands-on parents. Literally just at home with our kids every single day. We have a good life. We have good food. We buy lots of toys and books. We have the A/C on every day! I can't complain!
3) When the clients aren't paying, that can be terribly frustrating. In theory, I have all this money but in reality, my bank account is almost empty. That just doesn't make sense! It doesn't happen all the time, okay. We're fine most of the time but there really have been days when I'm staring at the bills and telling God, "I know You have provided because I have so many projects but please help me!" And then suddenly a check or two is available — sometimes just enough to pay for that month's bills, sometimes a lot more. It's exciting, this life! You can see it as stressful or you can see it as exciting. Renew your mind!
4) And then God uses other people to provide for my family. Sometimes, the blessing is so specific to what I need that it just can't be coincidence. Here are a couple of examples:
A post shared by Frances Amper Sales (@topazhorizonblog) on
So all I want to say, dear Loyal Readers, is I live in hope and faith. Despite how I grew up, despite all the fears I had, despite all that I do, my life is lived in hope for all things wonderful and that's why it is wonderful! Sure, my husband and I deserve credit because we always try to make good decisions. But sometimes even good decisions don't have the expected results, sometimes no matter how you work hard the money doesn't come, sometimes no matter what savings you built the economy crashes because of outside forces (sigh!). But it's okay. God is sovereign over all!
It's okay. Don't worry. Give it up to God. Pick yourself up. Carry on always. Don't stop moving. Always believe. That's the secret to my fearless life. A renewed mind. A hopeful heart. A faithful God. May you have these, too! God bless you!
I'm studying probiotics recently. First, because I'm reading up on FrisoMum, the sponsor of this post. Two, because my kids' pedia prescribed probiotic supplements for them, so that they can absorb more nutrients (my kids are skinny like their parents). Third, because there's a lot of articles on probiotics that are popping up on my Facebook feed. And last, because I was deleting photos on my phone (the endless quest to make more space!) and I saw lots of pics of pregnant me! And yes, I took probiotic capsules when I was preggers and also whenever I have tummy trouble.
We all know (if you drank Yakult as a kid) that probiotics promote healthy digestion. That also means they're used to treat disorders like bloating, irritable bowel syndrome, and diarrhea. I guess that also means if you like eating street food, you should toughen up your tummy with probiotics haha
Anyway, the articles I'm reading say that healthy gut bacteria also help in a whole lot of other ways. Let me count these other ways:
1. Keeps skin clear,
2. Keeps the vagina and urinary tract healthy,
3. Prevents bad breath,
4. Regulates immune function,
5. Reduces inflammation,
6. Kills off bad bacteria so you won't rely on antibiotics,
7. May have a hand at preventing autism.
Woah. If you're a woman, that's a lot of reasons to include probiotics in your diet, right? If you're pregnant or planning to be pregnant, that part about autism is a huge reason to take probiotics stat! Plus, when delivered vaginally, our baby's first exposure to bacteria is in our birth canal. We better make sure the bacteria there is the good kind!
You can get probiotics from food like yogurt, miso, kefir, kimchi, cheese... Actually, a lot of fermented stuff really (but I dunno if that includes wine and beer haha). All over the world and throughout history, every culture ate fermented food. That's because there were so refrigerators back then. Because of that, they had to preserve food, and fermentation is one of the processes they used. Now fermentation creates trillions of these good bacteria that we now apparently need for our bodies to be healthy! Anyway, I'm not a fan of fermented anything so it's been hard for me to include probiotic-rich food but I'm trying!
If a daily diet of fermented food is not to your liking, then you can ask your OBG about taking supplements. I did and she told me that probiotic supplements are like the greatest thing ever. Not her words, okay, more like her attitude about it! If you're preggy now and reading this, ask your OBG about probiotics.
FrisoMum is a pro-digestion milk for moms that cares for the tummy. It's packed full of prebiotics and probiotics on top of the vitamins and minerals you need. You get better digestion, better nutrition, and better times spent together with your family because you're healthy!
FrisoMum is available at selected Mercury Drug stores in Manila, Luzon, and Cebu. Always ask your OBG about taking prenatal supplements. Like their Facebook page for more nutrition tips for your pregnancy.
Hi, everyone! I'm Frances. I'm the author of Not Invisible. I'm also a lifestyle and parenting writer, a book editor, the co-founder of Lean In Manila, and I have a day job in corporate communications. When I find time away from my busy life as all mentioned and as a wife and mom, I blog here.
Welcome to my blog! It's a 16-year-old honest and safe space for working moms, mothers of boys, and feminists (I just described all of myself). Thanks for dropping by!
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