Thursday, March 10, 2022

Why do people hate her?

At lunch yesterday, Liz Lanuzo of Project Vanity said she can't understand why people are so angry at the woman in the photo below.

(I edited this blog post to remove her name and will replace it with MM because anyone defending this woman gets so much hate! And I don't want that shit on my blog or in my headspace. So if you know who she is, you know her name. If you don't know her, that's okay!) 

Here is my explanation, which I wrote on Facebook but decided to put here instead because Facebook instantly flags as racist and hate speech many of the words in my explanation below (and that tells you all you need to know about the people who hate MM!):

Reasons why people hate MM

1. She and Prince H are in an equal and loving marriage and people don't like that. A woman who is respected by her husband, who doesn't know her place, a woman who has her own voice (vs the husband speaking for her), and her own money "diminishes" the man.

They also can't believe H would choose his wife over his original family. 🙄🙄🙄 So they think MM is making H her puppet simply because he loves her. 

2. People think that MM is not worthy to belong to the upper crust of society. She's a foreigner, not an aristocrat, a woman who works, a divorcee, and - shocker! - a Black woman. In imperial UK, they see MM as a descendant of slaves. They think she pollutes the blue blood of the royal family. 

3. Despite being "unqualified" to marry a prince, MM did marry into that family and, unlike her middle-class sister-in-law Kate who kept her head down in acknowledgement of her unworthiness, MM spoke out, fought back, and left. To their eyes, she was ungrateful.

4. And last and worst of all, you never go against the family. You never reveal the secrets. You never cut off the relationship. You always respect and obey your parents, even when you're already married. No matter how much they abuse you, you're supposed to take it (as a sign of loyalty) and be quiet (as a sign of gratitude). Any protest, every negative story is automatically labeled as a lie. H and MM did the unforgivable by setting boundaries and when those were crossed, they left. 


And that's why people hate MM. She is a powerful, intelligent, rich woman who will not tolerate bullshit, who will not be silent when abused, who will fight back, who is happy, and - worst of all - she has a husband who loves her. The love and loyalty of a man (and a beloved prince, too!) validate and legitimize her existence and her decisions. To society, women like MM are a threat to old traditional values. And that's why they hate her.

Aaaaand that's how I know hindi pa tapos ang laban para sa mga babae! Silence always helps the abuser (families are the worst abusers of all). Discrimination and biases are still working against women, even if those women are our very own mothers, sisters, wives, and daughters. Sarili kong magulang kept putting me down kasi "babae ka lang, wag kang mayabang, wag kang ambisyosa."

Stop this! Women are people, too. We deserve love and respect, too. I have it now from my husband and sons, all of them feminists I am so proud to say. They are so secure and confident in their masculinity that a strong woman in their midst is not a threat at all. 

We need to change the world, people. A world that values women will be a better world not just for women, but for all of us - yes, even men and families everywhere, too ❤️❤️❤️

One day, I truly hope we no longer need an International Women's Day because honoring, respecting, and appreciating women will be so commonplace that we do it every day. Till then, HAPPY WOMEN'S MONTH! 


Tuesday, March 08, 2022

I learned to love the dreams God dreamed for me

I can't say much yet but all I can share today is that TODAY IS A REALLY GOOD DAY! And I need to blog about it so that I have a record of this AMAZING day! The morning started with good news for me, a great update about our boys in the afternoon, and then by evening, my husband got fantastic news, too. It comes in threes! I bless this day!


And I bless my God who finally opened the floodgates of His blessings! Not that He was being madamot. He was just preparing me and Vince for this day, waiting for us to be ready, to appreciate this instead of feeling entitled to it.

I know I'm not making any sense. So I'll just tell another story of another dream.

Once upon a time, all I ever wanted to be was a writer and then a magazine editor because writers aren't glamorous but a magazine job was. I didn't want to be married. I didn't want to have kids. A husband and children will just prevent me from fulfilling my dreams. So I went ahead and made my dreams come true, and when they did, I said, "But of course! I worked hard! I deserve this!"

And then one day the dream ended. And I didn't know what to do. I did get married and have babies, though. And to my endless gratitude and relief, they are a joy!

But after a few years of drifting here and there, I prayed to God, "I have no more dreams, Lord. I had dreams before and they came true and then they were gone. But I'm not sad anymore. I'm grateful. I see now that even having a dream come true for a short while is a blessing. Thank You for letting me go off on my own the way you let Jonah run away from You. But now I ask: What do You want me to do?"

And for a while, all I heard was, "Take care of your husband and your kids."

And I really struggled with that! I felt, "That's it? That's all I'm meant to do with the rest of my life??"

But I also couldn't shake off this feeling that God was waiting for me. Waiting for me to do what??? And so with not much to do except to be a wife and mommy, I carried out the drudgery of cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, etc etc ad infinitum. "This is it. This is my life. Forever."

I wasn't unhappy and I didn't hate my life, but I was also looking outwards, looking at the greener grass of other women's gardens and wondering why mine was so dull. I didn't envy them. It was more like, "I know I can be more than this." It was very unhealthy.

Finally, I just unfollowed all the moms and glam women and decided, "If God wants me to be a wife and mommy, then I'll be a wife and mommy!" And I just enjoyed everything! I enjoyed being in dasters all day with my graying hair in a messy bun, washing dishes and shopping for toys on Shopee. I enjoyed chatting about Minecraft and Godzilla. I learned how to play chess, cut boys' hair, and find out how to be a YouTuber. I loved binge-watching TV shows with my husband. I fell in love with playing with hamsters. And my huge struggle was being my kids' teacher but I slowly learned to love that, too. My life was great before but now that I viewed caring for my family as my one and only purpose, it became so much better and more meaningful!

Also, I just need to say this: Shunning #mompegs on social media was a relief, like unbuttoning your jeans when you're full. Yes, my life was full but all that social media watching made me feel ill. But with no looking at others, I appreciated what I had because I couldn't compare myself to anyone else. For the first time in a long while, I didn't think I was left behind. I didn't think, "I'm not good enough. I'm not doing enough!" I was just me and I appreciated me! And I finally accepted that being "just" a wife and mommy was my biggest and most important job and role. If I can't appreciate that, why would God give me any more jobs and roles???

And right after that, after finally humbling myself and accepting His will, God said, "She's ready!!!"


My Not Invisible book practically landed on my lap! I became co-founder of Lean In Manila and became friends with great women! I got a fun and glamorous job that still allowed me to be a mommy! And so many more blessings that I will tell you about soon! 

All I had to do was to seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness then all these things were added to me (Matthew 6:33). Added. I was already complete. God just waited for me to see that my cup was full and when I finally did, He added more!

Being a stay-at-home mom with gray in my hair, barefoot and in shapeless clothes is far far away from my vision of myself in sleek clothes, fiery hair, high heels, and doing a job that was important. This life I now have was never in my big dreams. So I didn't understand why God would want me to be small. Turns out His dreams for me may look different, but they were nowhere near small. They just came in three small packages — three little boys. But as Luke 10:14 said, "Whoever can be trusted with small things can also be trusted with big things." 

God waited till He could trust me. And that involved lots of renewing of attitudes, shifting views, humbling of myself (my great sin is pride), and acceptance and appreciation for God's will for my life. And I'm still not "important." I'm still not in high heels. And I'm still not earning millions. But I am fulfilled and happy and content, resting in the promise that God has more dreams to unfold for me. 

And so we go back to this day! It is a GREAT day! The most amazing day! The best news - one for me and one for my husband! And good news also for our boys! Three big blessings in one day! 

I'll tell you all about today one day. But for now let me just say that if you're waiting for God to open the gates of heaven, search your heart and your life because maybe He's just waiting for you to be ready, or maybe He wants you to open your eyes to His dreams for you and accept them. Because His plans may look different from ours but they are much better. Believe it!

My goodness! I am so excited to see what else He has in store for me! Wouldn't you want to see what God wants for you, too? So exciting!

* * * * * * * 

How great is Your goodness
stored up for those who fear You
No end to the kindness
that comes from You each day

We count on compassion
in the shelter of Your presence
Hidden away, hidden from harm -
How great Your love!

A refuge so near us
You're faithful each day
We cry out - You hear us
Safe in Your arms
Sheltered from harm

"How Great is Your Goodness" by Randy Rothwell

This post was inspired by this song and this Proverbs 31 devotion, "When You Feel Behind" (please read it!), and of course today's amazing news. 


Saturday, February 26, 2022

6 Tips and Strategies for Better Budgeting

I went waaaaay over my budget for food this month. Again. Now that I'm working and homeschooling on top of my usual writing work and wife, mommy and homemaker duties, cooking is something I don't have time for. So wow, my Food Panda orders on my credit card bill... I hate looking at it! I really need to manage my finances better! In a few short months, it's time for enrolment again. Need to start saving up today! Especially if I want to avoid being a target of a debt collection agency like Lockhart Morris & Montgomery, notoriously relentless in their pursuit of delinquent debt.

So when I found this post in my inbox asking to be shared with you, my Loyal Readers, I decided to publish it. If it's relevant to me, it must be relevant to many of you, too! Here are 6 tips and strategies for better budgeting: 

* * * * * * *

For many Filipinos, personal finance and budgeting can be a struggle. This is true no matter the person’s age, marital status, or work experience may be. By following some practical advice, however, this struggle can be overcome.

Here are some simple yet effective tips and strategies so you can get better at managing your hard-earned money:

1. Know Where Your Money Is Going—Always

There are two important things you need to know to get a good handle on your personal finances: how much money comes in on a fixed basis from all sources and where this money is going. Do note two other crucial details here: fixed basis and all sources. This means that if you can’t reliably depend on an income stream (e.g., an occasional freelance project), it might be better to just leave it out of your overall budget planning.

The bottom line here is that when it comes to money, you need to be as accurate as possible. This minimizes the risk of going over budget and also gives you a clearer idea of where you can make adjustments with regards to your spending.

2. Make the Most of Financial Management Tools

When you’re dealing with numbers, it’s difficult to keep up with all the details if you just rely on your memory. You’ll likely miss an important detail sooner or later, which can mess up your entire budget.

Thankful, there are various financial management tools that can help you set up, plan, and stick to your plans. First and foremost would be your bank’s own mobile banking facility, which you can use to check your transaction history, pay bills, and transfer funds. You can also use mobile banking to secure your account by activating two-factor authentication.

There are also budgeting apps you can download, although even a basic spreadsheet program can go a long way when it comes to tracking your expenses. You may even prefer the traditional method of using a ledger. The key is to find a tool or method that best matches your needs and works for your style of planning.

3. Set Realistic Savings Goals

When you’re trying to save money, don’t fall into the trap of going full throttle right at the outset. You may end up pressuring yourself too much and end up burned out (and without any savings to boot). Instead, set realistic goals based on your current financial standing. If you’re starting from scratch, saving 10% of your income every month is more reasonable, achievable, and sustainable, right?

Then, after some time, you can scale up your goals. This can make you feel more accomplished and therefore more motivated to save and manage your money the right way.

4. Try the 50-30-20 Budgeting

Also called the rule of thumb, this budgeting scheme allocates 50% of your income for your needs, 30% for your wants, and 20% for savings. This is a pretty simple but solid structure, especially if you don’t have a lot of loans to pay off.

If you’re having difficulties with keeping the bills at or below 50% of your income, review where you can make adjustments. Maybe you can follow a 60‐20‐20 model instead. The most important thing is to set aside money to save and invest; remember to also give yourself the opportunity to enjoy your money reasonably.

5. For Minor Goals, Try Envelope Budgeting

Ideally, you should open separate bank accounts for your savings and emergency funds. Doing this will prevent mix-ups that can throw your budgeting off-course. For smaller, more short-term goals, however, a separate bank account may not be practical. In these situations, the envelope method may be a great solution.

The envelope method of budgeting literally makes use of envelopes. Simply label them accordingly (e.g., new smartphone, weekly coffee shop order) then regularly put away an amount inside (e.g. Php 100 per week). This simple budgeting strategy is quite effective for smaller purchases because you’ll have easy access to the funds. It also makes it easier for you to monitor if you’ve made enough for your minor financial goals.

6. Review and Update Your Budget Regularly

Last but certainly not least, make sure to check your financial status regularly and update your budget accordingly. There are a lot of things that can happen that can affect your plans, both good and bad. Maybe you’ve received a salary increase or you’ve paid off a loan; maybe you got sick and had to be hospitalized, so you had to dip into your emergency fund. Perhaps you’re planning to get married; if you already are, maybe you and your spouse would want a child.

All of these things can affect the way you spend and save money. Thus, it’s wise to update your budget and financial projects whenever there are such changes. It can save you a lot of headaches and confusion later on.


As you can see, these are pretty simple tips that are easy enough to implement. Of course, remember that everyone has different financial situations at any given time. Thus, don’t think of these as rules but rather as guidelines. The most important thing, in the end, is consistency. This, more than anything else, can help you achieve your financial goals.

Good luck!

Thursday, February 17, 2022

Review: 7 reasons I love the acerpure cool c2 air purifier and air circulator

I finally have one! I finally got an air purifier for our home! My husband and I have always wanted to get one since we became parents almost 12 years ago. We live along EDSA and also have allergies. But when we were shopping for one before at a baby store, the air purifiers we found were priced at 50K. Pricey! So we decided to just buy air conditioners with air filters.

And then January happened. It really made me realize the fact that I needed to be more proactive in cleaning the air in our home. And this time, when we went looking for an air purifier, the models have become smaller, sleeker, more stylish, and more affordable!

This is the air purifier we got: the acerpure cool c2. And I'm going to do a review!

 
Okay, background first. Acer is a brand we have at home but our Acer products are a notebook and a tablet, which are both used by my sons for school. So we have a relationship with this brand. So when I saw that they started a new consumer line focused on cleaning the air as a response to the COVID-19 pandemic, I didn't doubt the brand. I knew them already. I also liked that the new line is all about a technology that combines "Smart" and "Freshness" so that we can have a "Simple Pure’" lifestyle.

Acerpure is the name of their air treatment line of products. They have 3 now:
1. the acerpure cozy f1, which circulates air
2. the acerpure pro p2, which purifies air
3. the acerpure cool c2, which does both

We had to get the acerpure cool c2, of course!

Here's what I love about our new acerpure cool c2 air purifier and air circulator:

1. It's so beautiful! 
The sleek design makes it occupy very little space. It also looks like R2D2 and that's what the kids call it. I call it Wall-E. Its swivelling head reminds me so much of that little robot that did mighty things. And I feel our acerpure cool c2 is cute but mighty, too.


2. It cleans our air.
And this is the mighty thing it does! And why I really wanted it in the first place! This baby has the Ag+ Silver Coated Filter, which is certified to eliminate bacteria like E.coli and even viruses like the H1N1 and COVID-19. After our COVID experience a few weeks ago, this is the most important feature of all!

Its 4-in-1 HEPA filter removes not just fine dust particles and pollen, it also filters out pet hair. We have a rabbit and hamsters that shed their fur regularly, not a good thing for a family with allergies!

3. It deodorizes our air.
That's another thing I love - our home smells fresher. The acerpure cool improves indoor air quality through 10 million negative ions to get rid of harmful gases like formaldehyde. And I have three boys who like to fart a lot. I have pets that stink. I have neighbors who cook and the aromas of their cooking sift into our condo. And since we live beside a major highway, I keep our windows closed so our home sometimes smells stuffy. But with the acerpure cool c2, not anymore!


4. It circulates air.
We love the True Circulation Fan. It goes left and right and up and down. When they said it circulates air, they meant it! Why the need for the up and down movement? Well, hot air rises, cool air descends. A fan that can make those layers circulate is genius. 

It's so great for my home because even though we're a condo, our living spaces are generously sized so we needed a fan that can circulate air in a big space. The acerpure cool c2 has up to 12 meters of airflow distance. And it also has a 10-speed circulator and 5-speed purifier in case we need more power.


5. It's so high-tech!
We're loving how the Smart Sensor can detect how dirty our air is! As long as the numbers on the LCD display are green, then we know the air we're breathing is clean. It becomes orange when we're cleaning, cooking, or I opened the window, or I haven't cleaned the pets. What you don't want to see is red! The acerpure cool c2 uses a high-performance DC Motor that's powerful enough to circulate and purify the air but at a low energy cost. 

Our acerpure cool c2 also has an app! The acerpure Life can monitor our indoor air quality and send us automatic notifications if it needs to start air-purifying functions. Yes, even when we're not home! But we're always home so we haven't used the app yet. 


6. It's silent.
And when I mean silent, you truly can't hear anything. The fan and the motor - no noise at all!

7. It's only Php 14,999!
Okay, that's not cheap but it's certainly not 50K either. If I had 50K, I could buy 3 acerpure cool c2 units! Definitely so much more affordable and family budget-friendly!


You can tell from my acerpure cool c2 review that I love our new gadget. I highly recommend it! 

For more information about Acer and its new line of acerpure products, follow Acer Philippines on its social media platforms: @AcerPH on Facebook, @acerph on Instagram and @acerphils on Twitter (follow hashtags #AirMadeClean #acerpure #AcerPH ) or go to www.acer.com


Monday, January 31, 2022

The Topaz Horizon 2022 Giveaway!

GIVEAWAY CLOSED!


Happy New Year, everyone! I was supposed to do this giveaway weeks ago but we had a very busy January so how about we make this a Chinese New Year giveaway instead! 

新 年 快 乐

Xīnnián kuàilè, everyone! That's Mandarin for New Year happiness and that's all I want for all of us this 2022 - happiness that comes from gratitude and good health. Although for this to be a proper Chinese greeting, I should wish prosperity for us as well! So may we all prosper in business, our career, and our bank accounts!

Let's start the good luck with a Topaz Horizon Giveaway! Here's the grand prize:


That's worth P12,000! 

One lucky winner will get:

One (1) signed copy of my book, Not Invisible

This is my memoir of my first 10 years as a mommy! It's a story of faith, hope, and love. It's about welcoming life's surprises and not losing sight of oneself and what matters. Most of all, it's about embracing all the love and joy that comes with family. Definitely a must-read!

One (1) tin of Topaz Horizon scented candle

This special limited edition candle smells soooo good! Even unlit, the sweet and feminine scent wafts everywhere. When I was deciding on what scent to use for my candle, I tried many scents but my husband and kids said that this particular fragrance reminds them of me best. 

One (1) 18 carat gold-plated bookmark

It's in the shape of a feather. I love it because writers of long ago used a quill to write, diba? So I thought it would be nice if you marked your page in my book with this gold-plated quill!

One (1) bottle of Welch's Sparkling Grape Juice

It's the New Year! Let's celebrate with some bubbly! My family and I love Welch's Sparkling Grape Juice. It's festive because of all the bubbles but it's not alcoholic so my kids can share a glass, too.Every bottle is sweet and fruity but it's great for mixing with other juices and alcoholic beverages if you want a little kick. 

One (1) bottle of Shiseido Ultimune Power Infusing Concentrate

This is the Chinese New Year Limited Edition bottle. Happy New Year! This is Shiseido's #1 serum with ImuGeneration Technology. It's packed with anti-oxidant rich reishi mushroom and iris root extracts, to strengthen skin, restore firmness and defend against daily damage for skin that’s stronger, smoother, firmer, more hydrated, and resilient. 

One (1) Flawless Age Defy Super Serum and one (1) Flawless Underarm and Body Lightening Deoconcealer

Jumpstart your skincare this 2022 with 5 vials of the Age Defy Serum. It smoothens out fine lines and rejuvenates the skin by promoting cell renewal. Take care of your body, too, for example, the oft-neglected kili-kili! Try the Underarm and Body Lightening Deoconcealer. It's makeup for your underarm, but it also lightens skin tone and provides 24-hour sweat protection!

One (1) Belle de Jour Power Planner 2022

The Belle de Jour Power Planner (prices range from P599 to P1,199) is a planner packed with lifestyle coupons from over 40 brands. You also get access to free mobile and desktop wallpaper downloadables, Spotify playlists, and NEW features this year include free virtual reality meditation videos and 12 Coaching Experiences led by 12 world-renowned experts in the field of Neuro-Linguistic Programming, Strengths Finding, Reiki Masters, Holistic Aromatherapists, Business and Beauty Experts, Energy Healers, Positive Psychologists, Motivational and Image Training Professionals in the BDJ Coach Quenza App that you can access from the pages of the BDJ Planner. Woah! 


I'm also giving away these prizes to 2 readers:

1 signed copy of my book, Not Invisible

1 tin of Topaz Horizon scented candle

1 surprise beauty product


How to win:

I'm not doing this giveaway to get more followers. So no need to share this on social media. I just want my Loyal Readers to know about this giveaway. So I just hope you'll write a comment below this post telling me your favorite Topaz Horizon blog post ever and why. Or tell me about one time my blog helped you. Or tell me if I made you buy something haha. That's it!

Easy, right? Basta gusto ko lang malaman if may katuturan pa ang blogging ko haha I know there is, okay. I feel like whether I have readers or not, and whether everyone has moved on to TikTok or nor, I will keep blogging because I just love it. Sixteen years of blogging this 2022. Imagine that!

So just leave a comment! I don't mind whether I get 100 answers, or 20, or even just 5. What matters is my Loyal Readers, the ones who are still around after almost 16 years, are the ones who join and win these prizes. I want to see your names below, okay! 

Please also include your Facebook name or Instagram handle so I know how to contact you if you win. 

I'll publish the comments on Friday night, and announce the winners on February 5, Saturday.

Good luck!


FEB 5 UPDATE:

CONGRATULATIONS!

Giveaway winner: Nerisa of Wanderful Mom

Book and candle winners: Noreen DVB and MJ Lagrimas

Please send a message to my blog's Facebook page to claim your prize!


None of the products is sponsored. They are either mine or were given to me but I'd like to share them with you! But if you'd rather buy these awesome products, here's where to get them:

Not Invisible memoir - Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Shopee (signed copies)

Welch's Sparkling Grape Juice - all grocery stores and supermarkets, https://acefoodservice.com, metromart.com, and waltermartdelivery.com.ph.

Shiseido Ultimune Power Infusing Concentrate - Rustan's and Zalora

Flawless Age Defy Super Serum - Flawless clinics and website

Flawless Underarm and Body Lightening Deoconcealer - Flawless clinics and website 

Belle de Jour Power Planner - I Love BDJ