TOPAZ HORIZON

"Here is the stuff of which fairy tales are made. The prince and princess on their wedding day. But fairy tales usually end at this point with the simple phrase: 'They lived happily ever after.' This may be because fairy tales regard marriage as an anticlimax after the romance of courtship.

"This is not the Christian view. Our faith sees the wedding day not as the place of arrival, but the place where the adventure really begins."

The Archbishop then talks about how marriage is not the end of the love story, but the beginning. It is when creation happens--creation of a lifelong partnership, creation of a family, creation of the building blocks of society. So through marriage, we are given the power to shape the future exponentially.

"If we solved all of our economic problems and failed to build loving families, it would profit us nothing. Because the family is the place where the future is created good and full of love, or deformed."

He then adds that every married couple is a "royal" couple, especially on their wedding day. And that is true, or why else do we wear the gowns, have an entourage, be toasted and celebrated and adored? Some brides even wear tiaras!

"Those who are married live happily ever after the wedding day if they persevere in the real adventure which is the royal task of creating each other and creating a more loving world.

"This is our prayer for Charles and Diana. May the burdens we lay on them be matched by the love with which we support them in the years to come. And however long they live, may they always know that when they pledged themselves to each other before the altar of God, they were surrounded and supported not by mere spectators but by the sincere affection and active prayer of friends."

Well, as we all know, that marriage wasn't supported by the love and prayer of friends. The world, strangely, seemed to want to tear apart Charles and Diana. And all marriages in general, come to think of it.

So may we all support our marriages and families! And to William and Kate, you have our best wishes and sincerest hopes for a life lived happily ever after.

*photos from here, here and here

Me, I live a good life. I have nice clothes and a few nice bags (mostly from eBay!). I eat good food. I live in a nice house filled with nice things. I have a small library. I have no debt. I can afford to live my nice life.

But people don't see beyond my nice life. They don't see that I spent 1999 to 2009 working my ass off, working 24 hours sometimes, eating very little or skipping meals altogether, skipping doctor check-ups and maintenance meds for my asthma and endometriosis, carefully using and cleaning clothes and shoes so they will last longer, scraping together every peso and enduring the glare of bank tellers while I count out coins I saved up to deposit to my bank account, and delaying marriage and kids because I wanted to have a better life first.

All people see is I'm lucky. All they see is my glamorous life. And it is a wonderful life filled with nice trappings. I love my life. The best part is I deserve this life because I earned it. Every bit of it. So if I go out and buy a Furla candy bag tomorrow or a ruby ring or a painting or a dozen books or an orange Zara dress, I can do so and most happily, too!

Nope, we are not fans of, in our minds, such corny fare. Even now, yes, even with our lovely wedding that had a designer cream mermaid gown and avante-garde striped dresses for the entourage, no dramatic speeches, no dancing, no silly souvenirs and no photo shoots fit for fashion magazines. We toned it down, waaaay down, but we still had a wedding that was nowhere near the simple, just-the-two-of-us affair we had wanted. 

Do we regret it? Nope, not at all! Having been there and done that, we now see why the oldies insist that weddings be grand. Let me tell you about this pastor who gave the most memorable wedding sermon ever.

The couple were about to exchange their wedding vows and the pastor--I forget his name--suddenly called the attention of all of us gathered there. I can't recall his exact words so I will paraphrase. He said, "This young couple are promising each other forever and you, all of you, now are guardians of that vow. If one of them slips, if one of them strays, if one of them forgets, you who are here must remind them of this day. You, by being here, are bound by their oath and it is also your duty to make sure this couple stand by theirs. You are not just guests. You are guardians."

He added, "It isn't easy to be married. It isn't easy to stay married for the rest of one's life. We humans are too weak. And in the end, we die. That is why when two people promise to love each other anyway, in the face of the certainty that life is filled with temptation and defeat, it is almost ridiculous. Or it is divine. There is no other way to explain it. Nothing on earth lasts forever because even these wedding vows end with till death do you part. But love, love transcends death. And everyone here witnessing this marriage will have a memory of this day and while those memories last, this love lasts, this promise stands."

At our wedding four years ago, 140 guests showed up. Then the wedding came out in the pages of Inquirer and Wedding Essentials magazine. I don't know how many people read those. It's safe to say that there's a lot of people out there who know I'm married to Vince and that he's married to me. If Vince and I had gone ahead with our plans to elope to Vegas (okay, that's a joke), it would be too easy to hope that no one will know or care if we forget our marriage once in a while or maybe even just quit it altogether. 

But we have guardians. Our marriage is protected, whether we like it or not, because while those memories last, this love lasts, this promise stands.