TOPAZ HORIZON

This video has been making the rounds on Facebook. I tried not to watch it for fear it may be one of those porn spam everyone's been freaking about (Well, can you blame me? The screen cap showed a really sexy woman!). But after dozens upon dozens of recommendations from FB friends, I watched it and had a good giggle. Meet Ashleyslips:


I love her funny accent and her sense of humor. But I'm totally loving her body! So gorgeous in that bandage dress, which is, by the way, not a hot trend anymore after having been worn to death everywhere. Sad since I was dreaming of wearing one (with chandelier earrings, charm bracelets and sexy heels!) after I got a curvier body, but then I got pregnant. Anyway, back to Ashleyslips. My goodness, those armpits! Some deodorant brand should get her as a model--her pits are perfect!

Since I've only gone dancing twice in my entire life--in 2003 at Malate with Vince (quite hotly!), and in 2005 at Embassy with my friend Kate--I couldn't really relate (though I did find her funny). So I checked out her other videos. While I didn't watch No Other Woman, I find this parody of that silly movie hilarious!


I'm spending the evening watching her other videos. I just know I'll have funny dreams tonight, although I hope I don't wake up with her accent!

Thank you to everybody who loved my photo shoot for my 35th birthday! You are all too kind. Some of you said that an annual photo shoot is a fab birthday gift to oneself. So let me share with you the other photos from the past years.

When I turned 30, I discovered to my delight that I looked better at 30 than I ever did in my teens or 20s. Maybe it was because at 30, I finally started a skin regimen and had my hair done by a real stylist (thanks, Mariel, for nagging me for months to get a makeover and bombarding me with beauty tips and skin products!).

Since then, I've tried to document what I look like around my birthday. I want to see a progression so I'll usually have a photo shoot done around October or November.

I was a newlywed here. Vince says I looked my best the first year we were married haha. Must be the honeymoon glow! This is one of my favorite photos ever! It was taken by Willy Saw. I don't remember who did my hair and makeup. The golden brown hair was by Louis Phillip Kee, as always! We shot this at Rustan's Makati because we liked the festive decor. I had just turned 31 here.

This was taken by Willy Saw, makeup by Mimie Bautista for L'Oreal Paris and hair by Ogie Rayel. We shot this on a cloudy day by the window of Dimensione at Bonifacio High Street. This was also the last year I was 100 lbs. I miss that waist. I miss those arms!

Photo by Willy Saw, makeup by Ces Guerrero, hair by Ogie Rayel. We obviously like working with Willy and Ogie. Willy will not rest until he gets a fantastic shot of you. Ogie knows how to work with hair and personality. He always makes my hair look thick and lush, like he worked in that Bumble and Bumble product Hollywood is crazy about. If you see my hair on a real day, my hair is just the flattest, thinnest, wispiest thing you ever saw! Plus, he keeps my style simple because I'm a no-fuss hair girl. All the other hairstylists always try to give me big curls, which will always always fall flat within 30 minutes.

Photo by Sara Black, makeup by John Pagaduan for shu uemura. You already know the story behind this shoot. Vince says the photos from here are his favorite shots of me yet. Well, he liked the black-and-white nude pic, that's why! I'm already pregnant here so Sara said she wants to take photos of my belly when it becomes huge. I haven't decided yet if I want a preggy photo shoot. What do you think?

Tito Lito Calzado at my wedding in 2007

My Tito Lito died yesterday. I wasn't close to him but my Papa and Tito Lito were almost like brothers when they were growing up. Then his children, Dash and Iza, have always been very sweet and nice to us so his death makes me sad. I know how it is to lose a parent and Iza was very beloved by Tito Lito. It is always heartbreaking and gut-wrenching to lose a love like that.

But wakes in our family have always been... Hmm, the right word escapes me but "fun" is what comes to mind. There's lots of food and conversation, lots of singing and musical performances, lots of funny speeches, definitely lots of tears but there's a ton more laughter. I grew up going to wakes and funerals and thoroughly enjoying them, even the one for my own Mama. All of my friends told me that Mama's wake was the only wake they attended that made them actually want to stay, that when they left, they didn't feel sad or scared. They felt entertained and warm and fuzzy and even happy. Yup, that's my experience, too!

My sister Jacqui, cousin Iza and sister-in-law Rose at Mama's funeral in 2008.

You can say that it's because the Amper family (and Calzados and Dadaps) is a family of musicians, singers and actors. Every time there's a crowd, we all rise up to the occasion and try to make everyone happy. Even at our wakes! But the real reason our wakes are such happy events is because we're Born Again Christians and we see death as a graduation from this miserable life. There is more envy than sadness at a loved one's passing. And there is that wonderful peace that passes understanding, and the shining hope that we will be reunited one day with our beloved.

When Mama died, my eulogy was based on Jeremiah 29:11 "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord. 'Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" When someone you love dies, it's very hard to think of the future. How can life go on after this? So that promise, that this painful experience is not meant to harm me, truly did give me hope. I said in my eulogy, "Mama is dead but she doesn't belong in my past. She is in my future because we will surely meet again one day."

Peace, hope, joy. Sure, there is that awful grief but there is also the comfort of such wondrous peace, hope and joy. I wish you all that same peace, hope and joy, even in the midst of your darkest night, even in the face of death itself.

Just recently, I decided to have my photos taken because, well, it's my birthday! Since I'm so blessed to have friends who are makeup artists, hairstylists and photographers, I pulled out my phone and started cajoling my friends to make me beautiful. But I seemed to have caught everyone on a very busy time so darn it!

And then Sara Black suddenly texted, "I'm free for 30 minutes on this date. Want to do it then?" Of course I said YES! I called shu uemura's John Pagaduan. He had tons of events that day but he said, "Sure, I'll do your makeup. Your face is easy lang naman!" All my hairstylist friends were fully booked, however, so I had to be content with my flat, lifeless hair.

I spent an hour on John's makeup chair and he transformed me from plain to absolutely amazing! We had so much fun catching up and gossiping. Then off to Sara's studio where she was in the thick of a Mega magazine beauty shoot. As soon as there was a lull in that shoot (the models had to change their makeup), Sara propped a camera in front of my face and started snapping away.

We were done in 20 minutes! And this is what she caught:


There's more photos—with less clothes!—but only Vince gets to see!

Thanks, Sara and John! You made me look beyond fabulous! I'm so lucky to have you as my friends.

To book a photo shoot with Sara Black, go to http://www.sarablack.com/
To book a makeup session with John Pagaduan, call the shu uemura Learning Atelier at Power Plant Mall:  897-8575

A lot of people ask me how I earn money through blogging. Well, I earn most of my blogging income from Nuffnang. I joined Nuffnang in 2008, soon after my mother died. Mama's death had completely wiped us out financially so I was looking for ways to make more money and Nuffnang was recommended by my friend, Jennie of Marriage and Beyond.

At first, there was just a tiny trickle of blogging income coming in (so I was very relieved when the company I work for gave me a big raise in early 2009!), but after a few months with Nuffnang, things started getting very interesting! So without further ado, here are...


10. I got a free trip to Singapore!

On the Singapore Flyer with fellow bloggers

 In 2009, Nuffnang invited me to join the first ever Nuffnang Asia-Pacific Blog Awards in Singapore. I was shy to go since I didn't know anyone on the trip but I packed my bags, kissed my hubby good-bye (with tons of melodramatic tears), and then met some of the most fascinating people in Asia!

I learned so much about blogging from that trip. The most important lesson? That you can earn SO MUCH MONEY! I remember my jaw dropping and my eyes going very wide when some of the bloggers I met (some just barely out of college) told me they just bought a car or quit their job all because of the money they earned from blogging. As soon as I got home, I told Vince, "I'm taking this blogging thing seriously from now on dammit! Those kids are earning more money than I ever dreamed of!"

On our way to the awards ceremony (I'm the girl in far right)

So, obviously, I want to go to the second Nuffnang Asia-Pacific Blog Awards! This time, it's in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. On Dec. 16, 500 bloggers from all over the Asia-Pacific region will be invited to a lovely weekend stay at the Putrajaya Marriott. The awards ceremony will again honor the the region's best bloggers and bring together the blogging communities so that we can all learn from each other. Plus, the lucky bloggers get a free tour of the city! The event is sponsored by Volkswagen Malaysia and Putrajaya Marriott, and if you want to win an exclusive invitation to the event, click here!

And please nominate your favorite bloggers (ahem! ahem!) for the awards!


9. I won a Gucci bag!
Nuffnang has a lot of contests. Their partners are always willing to raffle off really cool stuff like gadgets, and in my case, happily, a designer bag! I won the Confessions of a Shopaholic contest and the prize was a limited edition Gucci shoppers tote. So do check out Nuffnang's exciting array of contests (I think there's one a week!)

8. I always get tons of goodies!
Here are just a few:

Tropicana!

Berocca!

I've also gotten beauty products and fabric conditioners. I know I've gotten more but I just can't remember them all! So much stuff!

7. I get invited to lots of exciting events.
Nuffnang never seems to run out of stuff to offer their bloggers! There's always a beauty launch here, a fashion show there, a movie screening now, a field trip tomorrow. I sometimes wish I wasn't so busy so I can attend them all!


6. I met celebrities!

Alodia's the girl with the backpack.

Alodia Gosiengfiao at the Asia-Pacific Blog Awards at Singapore. Alodia is so cute and shy and talented. There are no airs, no snottiness, no spoiled brat-ness.

Solenn is the girl who forgot to put on a shirt!

Solenn Heusaff at Neutrogena Fine Fairness Ambassadors launch. Well, all I can say is she's sexy. And very sweet to fans. But she looked very uncomfortable the entire time at the event, like she was very scared. I dunno why!

Iza Calzado at the Myra-E event that launched her as their new model. Funnily enough, to me, Iza is not a celebrity, even though she's one of the hottest stars in the country. That's because I can never erase the image of little 5-year-old Izadora following us, her cousins, everywhere, saying, "I can dance! Want to see me dance? Please watch me dance!"

5. I earn money!
I almost forgot that that's the reason I joined Nuffnang in the first place! How's the income, you ask? Well, Nuffnang's been very generous with giving me assignments and you'd have noticed some of them because they're marked as "sponsored posts" (for example, you all loved the Mango post, which was not just fun to do but was also paid for!).

I'd earn more if I accepted all their proposals but I only take on brands I believe in, use or want. But as it is, I've already earned lots of shopping money! Thanks, Nuffnang!

4. I gained new friends.
That's Shen of Shen's Addiction on top and Nikki Tiu of AskMeWhats. They are just two of the wonderful bloggers I've met at the events Nuffnang keeps throwing for us. I'm so glad I joined this blogging community because I've been forced to go out and meet fellow bloggers. You see, if you're a blogger, obviously you spend a lot of time in front of a computer so there's not much of a social life there for bloggers. But because of Nuffnang's plethora of events and activities, I've met some of the most wonderful people ever!

3. Nuffnang believed in my non-blogging ventures.
One of the very first people who bought my satchels is from Nuffnang! Trixie Esguerra is the talent manager of Nuffnang and I never expected that we'd have a friendship. I'm very careful to keep my professional relationship, well, professional. But Trixie is, like the rest of the Nuffies, so much fun and bubbly and makulit, that you can't help but adore her. Plus, she was one of the very first who bought my satchel and mega promoted my bag business! She didn't have to but she did. Thanks, Trixie!

2. Nuffnang supports good causes.
It's not all freebies with Nuffnang. One of the best out-of-my-comfort-zone experiences I've ever had was when we visited Sunshineville in Las Pinas. We met a thriving community of homeowners, working happily for a better life. It was really refreshing to see how giving jobs to people makes them confident, happy, proud. That exposure was the first time I decided I wanted to be an entrepreneur since I saw that it isn't charity dole-outs that help people at all.

Nuffnang also makes sure its bloggers get an education. By this, I mean free classes to everything from cooking to financial freedom. I've been wanting to attend their cooking classes at Enderun but weekends are yaya-less so I haven't had the opportunity. But I'm glad I was able to attend the Philam Life financial planning class. I learned so much! I bought a mutual fund investment plan soon after that session (but with a different insurance provider. Oops!)

1. Nuffnang cares about their bloggers.
The first people who visited me when I gave birth to Vito were Nuffies. Thanks, Anne Franco and Carlos Palma. You got to the hospital with flowers and gifts way before my own family and friends did! To say I was surprised is an understatement. Vince said, after you left, "Wow. You must really mean a lot to Nuffnang." I don't think I'm special that way; I think Nuffnang really just treats their bloggers like family.

And that's why I'm glad I joined Nuffnang. I earned not just money, but a wealth of experiences and a lot of new friends. And family. I have my Nuffnang family. For that alone, I am very grateful.

This is my official entry to the Nuffnang Asia-Pacific Blog Awards 2011. To join, click here.

Pregnancy is usually not the time in a woman's life that she's deemed fashionable. In all honesty, it's tricky to dress a pregnant body. The swelling tummy, boobies, butt and the fast rate they swell just make dressing up so difficult! That's why a lot of preggy women resort to tents--it's much easier, simpler and doesn't require a lot of thought!

But I can't give up on style, especially since Style Bible included me in their Pregnant & Pretty list the last time I was pregnant. I got a reputation to hold up, darn it! So for this second pregnancy, I had a blast checking out some stylish wear from Mango's Fall/Winter collection. Mango very kindly lent me a few pieces to try out at home and these are the winning looks that I'm imagining will be perfect for the following occasions this Christmas season:

In exactly 10 days, I'm going to be 35. I find it terribly exciting--the 30s for me has always been a woman's sexiest age, the time when she's most confident, free from the insecurities that the teens and 20s were plagued with. I'm also looking forward to my 40s because that is when I think a woman is at her most powerful. Exciting times!

So what do I want for my milestone?

Well, I do have everything I need. I still have a lot of wants but, as they are wants, they don't bother me so much. But let me just tell you what they are!

Stuff I want:
1. A year's subscription to Glamour and Vanity Fair. Vince already gifted me with these! Thanks, babe!
2. A few days at the beach with my hubby and little boy, plus yaya. I'm not a beach person but what is it about kids that make you want to play in the sun and sand?
3. A year's worth of facials so that my acne will finally go away! Calling all my friends in the beauty industry! Wink, wink!
4. Shopping sprees at Mango, Karimadon, Zara, SM Forum and K&Co.
5. Shopping sprees at Mothercare, SM Baby, Rustan's Baby and Gingersnaps.
6. Red velvet cake from Karen's Kitchen.
7. Carrot cake from my friend Mariel, who I dearly miss and who will not be baking me cakes because she's in NYC.
8. A girly day at a nail salon with my girlfriends, who I also miss. This bed rest is so sad.
9. A MacBook. Either Air or Pro. Still can't decide!
10. An assistant!

Of course I have other less frivolous things on my mind, like...
1. I wish the subchorionic hemorrhage in my uterus would disappear so that my little Wiggle will be safe and I can get out of the house again. I whine a lot about being stuck home but I do that so I don't worry about Wiggle. Sometimes when I'm being shallow, it's really because something else vastly more important is pressing itself against my mind and my heart and I need to set my sights on glittery shiny things to not drown in the darkness.
2. I pray always for the safety, protection and good health of Vince, Vito and myself. And the yaya and maid! I don't think I utter a prayer more often than this one. Protect us, keep us safe, make us invisible to evil, keep us healthy. Sometimes, that's all I say to God. It must be maddening!
3. I wish all the kinks in this bag business will get ironed out. With Uncle Buck old and working slow and the leather supply running out because of the floods in Bulacan, I may have a ton of interested customers but if I can't meet demand... It's just really very frustrating for me.
4. I wish that all our plans for the magazine I edit will go spectacularly well in 2012. We're doing very well actually--both in advertising and circulation--but I want it to be bigger!
5. I want my blogs to become bigger than ever, too. They're actually great--thousands of views, steady growth, steady stream of advertisers and sponsors--but I'm ready to go HUGE.

That's all. I am beyond blessed and I thank God often for the life I have. I worked hard for it, sure, but I believe the right people and the opportunities were also sent my way and that I was smart enough (or I was advised well) to recognize them. And I am happy and completely content. Yet I am ready for more. I'll be 35 soon. In 10 days! I'm ready to do more!

This year, something very strange happened to my inbox. It became filled with letters from blog readers asking for advice. Love, career, relationship, college, life--all these serious questions! Look, there is a reason I keep this blog silly--so you won't take me seriously, y'all! But strangely you all seem to think I'm some wise old woman. Hmmm. I don't know if I'm doing something wrong or right!

Two weeks ago, I got two similar letters asking about marriage. "Dear Ate Frances, how do I know if I'm ready for marriage?" Dear kids, I don't know! My friend Kat of Kat Dy Finds offers her wise words: "If you're asking that question, then you're obviously not ready!"

But here is my explanation on why I don't know:

I'm nearly 35 years old. I've been madly in love with the same man for 12 years and have been married to him for 4. What do I know?! I'm just living life every day and learning something new each day, just like the rest of you. Marriage is hard some days, marriage is easy most days (at least, for me!). But I think that holds true for most things. But because you think I seem to have all the answers, I'll try to talk you through your woes.

Too young?
Dear L, you said you're 22 and graduating this March. Your boyfriend since 2nd year high came up with the romantic idea of marrying right after graduation. You love him intensely but you're worried you're too young and that you might meet someone else. So what are you to do?

L, I think "too young" is any age below the legal age. But a few years ago, I'd have heartily agreed with you. I know too many people who got married in their teens and early 20s and are separated now. "What were they thinking?", I always snickered. But recently, I've met wonderful people who are happily married (or living together) and they tell me they married at 19, 21, 22, 24. I know a couple, both 35,  who had an arranged marriage and they are sickeningly disgustingly all goo-goo eyes for each other since they were 14. Like I said, what do I know?

As for meeting someone else... Well, of course you'll meet someone else! Unless your husband plans to lock you up in a tower for the rest of your life, expect to meet guys who are richer, cuter, smarter, funnier, etc. Marriage certainly hasn't stopped a lot of people from falling in love with someone else. So it's up to you if you want to be true to your vows.

I've always believed that you should marry for love but that love shouldn't be the foundation of a marriage. It should be commitment. Because if it's love, well, what if one day you wake up and you don't love him anymore? Or he doesn't love you? Commitment and respect. That's what marriage is all about. If he is someone you respect and if you believe you and he are capable of a huge lifelong commitment, then what's age got to do with it?

Marriage is a hindrance to success?
Dear K, you're 27 years old and you're enjoying your career. Your boyfriend of 2 years is going to propose. You know this because you're a snoopy girl and you saw text messages between your guy and a jeweler. You're thrilled and scared because you love him madly but you're afraid marriage will end your career.

Well, K, I can totally relate. Vince asked me to marry him a month after we met and I turned him down because I was fresh out of college and haven't done anything in my life. My mistake there was I had thought Vince would be just like all the men in my family, who think women are meant for the kitchen and the bedroom. So I didn't want to get tied down. What I failed to see all those years was Vince is a wonderfully unconventional man. In fact, most of my career successes were his doing. He was my cheerleader, my guide, my mentor. He pushed me to work hard, to maneuver, to pick my battles, to win most of them, to advance up, up, up.

After Vince and I got married, my career blossomed even more. For one thing, people took me seriously. I think they think married people are more responsible so my boss gave me more responsibilities. Also, when you're married, you have a two-income household (I'm assuming you don't want to quit your job because of all your protests). With all that money, life is incredibly easy.

So what am I saying? K, if your guy is an open-minded man who isn't insecure about his woman's success, then you have nothing to worry about. It's much easier to go through life and a career with a man who believes in you, who has your back. But if he's the sort of guy who thinks little of women, believes you're only good for sex and service, and can't stand it if you're a success, well, then run away!

Love advice is hard to give because each situation is different, each intensely personal. I've learned not to give advice because if the situation doesn't end well, then I'm blamed. Girls, it's your life. Think it over and think well. It's good you're asking people what they think but in the end, it's your life and you're the only one responsible for it. So choose well! Good luck!

I've not bought anything from Payless yet. I know a ton of people who shop there constantly for the inexpensive shoes and I've been meaning to check the shop out ever since it opened last year but I never seem to have the time to pass by. Well, now I want to go there because of these earrings!


These are special limited edition earrings that are priced at a mere P175 per set of two. Yes, you get the two pairs for just P175! They'll look really pretty on anyone's ears and since I'm the kind of girl who never leaves home without earrings, I'd definitely love to have these. I'm super loving the pink one. So pretty!

The best part about these earrings is P50 from each sale will go to the Cancer Resource and Wellness Community (CAREWELL). You see, October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month and buying these earrings is a lovely way for us to help out the people who are fighting this deadly disease. In fact, I suggest we all buy the earrings (they're just P175!) and give them away as Christmas gifts with a card that says, "This gift is really special! It comes with a donation to CAREWELL that I made for you."

And here's a secret: It also comes with a gift for you! Payless will give you 10% discount off on your next purchase just because you supported this great cause! What will you buy now that you have that special discount?


Payless branches: Festival Mall in Alabang, SM Megamall, Ali Mall, Shangri-La Plaza Mall, Shoppesville Greenhills, Power Plant Mall, Robinsons Galleria, Market! Market!, Marquee Mall in Pampanga, Paseo de Sta. Rosa in Laguna, Trinoma, SM Manila, Ayala Center Cebu, SM Masinag, Abreeza in Davao, SM Southmall and Nuvali Solenad 2. More stores are set to open this year in Metro Manila, as well as in Cebu.

Today, I received an email from a very concerned reader, Amina, who told me that someone named Jamie Palanca is using my photos on her Facebook account and passing them off as her own.

Since I wasn't friends with this woman, I couldn't see her other photos but Amina told me that in the other photos, Ms. Palanca claimed Vito as her own, except that she named him Savannah Lauren. And as you can also see from her comment below, she also claimed Vince as her husband.

Talagang angkinin ang asawa't anak ko, ha!

I am not very upset. This is something unexpected, after all. That's one of the consequences of putting your life all over the Internet. I was telling my friend Jill that it's kinda funny, kinda creepy, kinda flattering (although why did she use that unflattering photo?!) but mostly very sad and pathetic. So, guys, don't worry. I'm cool!

My cousin Diana pointed out, however, that while it's great I'm not blowing my top over this, she said that Ms. Palanca is an online seller. If she happens to be an unscrupulous person (and she very well may be because if she can lie about this then she can lie about anything), then she might be running off with people's money. And then what if a swindled customer saw me or my family somewhere and gets angry and attacks us? Put that way, that is a very scary scenario.

Well, folks, please do me a HUGE favor and report this person. Kindly go to her Facebook page (click here) and, on the left side of the profile, somewhere under the profile pic, click on "Report/Block" and say this person is pretending to be me. Thank you!

P.S. Please don't post harsh words on her wall. I know some of you are very protective of me (thanks!). I think it's a very sad thing she had to do this so let's just wish she finds a great husband and make gorgeous babies and have a fabulous life so that she wouldn't need to pretend to be me!

P.P.S. I wouldn't have known about this if it weren't for Amina. Thank you! You know, despite this, I'm still very glad I blog because I have people all over the world who truly care for me and my family. I am very blessed!