TOPAZ HORIZON

In Tagaytay in 2010

I never imagined I'd be typing out that title in the middle of November. By this time usually, the cool weather has descended and everyone's taken out their cardigans and sweaters and scarves and jackets. My uniform this time of the year is usually a dress with opaque tights and a cardi, or jeans and tee with a scarf wrapped around my neck. This year? My dress code is various states of undress!

Well, that's global warming for you. Scary. Sad. Especially since I have to think about what kind of future my kids will have to see!

As for now, all I want to do is escape to a cooler clime. Actually, earlier this month, I had wanted to hit the beach so that I can spend the days with a good reason to be nearly naked. But the sun, oh the sun, it's just too hot! So I've been thinking of either Baguio or Tagaytay.

The last time I visited Baguio was a disaster. Vince and I had met in Baguio in 1999 and went back for a trip down memory lane. I booked us a room in this awful hotel that Lonely Planet had recommended as a good place to stay. I never believed Lonely Planet from then on! Our room had cardboard walls and a bare light bulb. The bathroom's walls didn't reach the ceiling so if you had to do No. 2, well, let's just say we had to go outside and leave the room's door open! There was no hot water (in freezing Baguio!) and, oh wait, there was actually no running water at certain hours of the day.

The last time I went to Tagaytay was for my friend Nikki's wedding. Vince and I stayed at this lovely boutique inn that unfortunately also had thin walls. We were kept up by the owners' kid and friends partying the night away. I was pregnant with Vito then so I was hormonal so I complained very angrily.

So now I guess I want to go back to one or both cities to make happier memories! But since my pregnancy is a bit delicate, Baguio is not an option for now. So I'm looking at Tagaytay. Someone told me that since I have a family, I'm better off renting a log cabin so I Googled some rentals and found these cabins at Tagaytay Highlands:

I can see it now: cold nights, the smell of pine in the air, the cacophony of crickets, then Vince and Vito and I wrapped in warm blankets, feet propped up on rustic log furniture, sipping hot cocoa, reading or chatting or tickling each other.

Sigh! Just looking at those photos already makes me feel better. I wish we can escape the city! Some of my friends have actually made plans to spend Christmas somewhere cold--either Sagada and Tagaytay or abroad in Hong Kong. I am so envious! It would be so lovely to get away from this terrible heat!

*log cabin photos from here.

This video has been making the rounds on Facebook. I tried not to watch it for fear it may be one of those porn spam everyone's been freaking about (Well, can you blame me? The screen cap showed a really sexy woman!). But after dozens upon dozens of recommendations from FB friends, I watched it and had a good giggle. Meet Ashleyslips:


I love her funny accent and her sense of humor. But I'm totally loving her body! So gorgeous in that bandage dress, which is, by the way, not a hot trend anymore after having been worn to death everywhere. Sad since I was dreaming of wearing one (with chandelier earrings, charm bracelets and sexy heels!) after I got a curvier body, but then I got pregnant. Anyway, back to Ashleyslips. My goodness, those armpits! Some deodorant brand should get her as a model--her pits are perfect!

Since I've only gone dancing twice in my entire life--in 2003 at Malate with Vince (quite hotly!), and in 2005 at Embassy with my friend Kate--I couldn't really relate (though I did find her funny). So I checked out her other videos. While I didn't watch No Other Woman, I find this parody of that silly movie hilarious!


I'm spending the evening watching her other videos. I just know I'll have funny dreams tonight, although I hope I don't wake up with her accent!

Thank you to everybody who loved my photo shoot for my 35th birthday! You are all too kind. Some of you said that an annual photo shoot is a fab birthday gift to oneself. So let me share with you the other photos from the past years.

When I turned 30, I discovered to my delight that I looked better at 30 than I ever did in my teens or 20s. Maybe it was because at 30, I finally started a skin regimen and had my hair done by a real stylist (thanks, Mariel, for nagging me for months to get a makeover and bombarding me with beauty tips and skin products!).

Since then, I've tried to document what I look like around my birthday. I want to see a progression so I'll usually have a photo shoot done around October or November.

I was a newlywed here. Vince says I looked my best the first year we were married haha. Must be the honeymoon glow! This is one of my favorite photos ever! It was taken by Willy Saw. I don't remember who did my hair and makeup. The golden brown hair was by Louis Phillip Kee, as always! We shot this at Rustan's Makati because we liked the festive decor. I had just turned 31 here.

This was taken by Willy Saw, makeup by Mimie Bautista for L'Oreal Paris and hair by Ogie Rayel. We shot this on a cloudy day by the window of Dimensione at Bonifacio High Street. This was also the last year I was 100 lbs. I miss that waist. I miss those arms!

Photo by Willy Saw, makeup by Ces Guerrero, hair by Ogie Rayel. We obviously like working with Willy and Ogie. Willy will not rest until he gets a fantastic shot of you. Ogie knows how to work with hair and personality. He always makes my hair look thick and lush, like he worked in that Bumble and Bumble product Hollywood is crazy about. If you see my hair on a real day, my hair is just the flattest, thinnest, wispiest thing you ever saw! Plus, he keeps my style simple because I'm a no-fuss hair girl. All the other hairstylists always try to give me big curls, which will always always fall flat within 30 minutes.

Photo by Sara Black, makeup by John Pagaduan for shu uemura. You already know the story behind this shoot. Vince says the photos from here are his favorite shots of me yet. Well, he liked the black-and-white nude pic, that's why! I'm already pregnant here so Sara said she wants to take photos of my belly when it becomes huge. I haven't decided yet if I want a preggy photo shoot. What do you think?

Tito Lito Calzado at my wedding in 2007

My Tito Lito died yesterday. I wasn't close to him but my Papa and Tito Lito were almost like brothers when they were growing up. Then his children, Dash and Iza, have always been very sweet and nice to us so his death makes me sad. I know how it is to lose a parent and Iza was very beloved by Tito Lito. It is always heartbreaking and gut-wrenching to lose a love like that.

But wakes in our family have always been... Hmm, the right word escapes me but "fun" is what comes to mind. There's lots of food and conversation, lots of singing and musical performances, lots of funny speeches, definitely lots of tears but there's a ton more laughter. I grew up going to wakes and funerals and thoroughly enjoying them, even the one for my own Mama. All of my friends told me that Mama's wake was the only wake they attended that made them actually want to stay, that when they left, they didn't feel sad or scared. They felt entertained and warm and fuzzy and even happy. Yup, that's my experience, too!

My sister Jacqui, cousin Iza and sister-in-law Rose at Mama's funeral in 2008.

You can say that it's because the Amper family (and Calzados and Dadaps) is a family of musicians, singers and actors. Every time there's a crowd, we all rise up to the occasion and try to make everyone happy. Even at our wakes! But the real reason our wakes are such happy events is because we're Born Again Christians and we see death as a graduation from this miserable life. There is more envy than sadness at a loved one's passing. And there is that wonderful peace that passes understanding, and the shining hope that we will be reunited one day with our beloved.

When Mama died, my eulogy was based on Jeremiah 29:11 "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord. 'Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" When someone you love dies, it's very hard to think of the future. How can life go on after this? So that promise, that this painful experience is not meant to harm me, truly did give me hope. I said in my eulogy, "Mama is dead but she doesn't belong in my past. She is in my future because we will surely meet again one day."

Peace, hope, joy. Sure, there is that awful grief but there is also the comfort of such wondrous peace, hope and joy. I wish you all that same peace, hope and joy, even in the midst of your darkest night, even in the face of death itself.

Just recently, I decided to have my photos taken because, well, it's my birthday! Since I'm so blessed to have friends who are makeup artists, hairstylists and photographers, I pulled out my phone and started cajoling my friends to make me beautiful. But I seemed to have caught everyone on a very busy time so darn it!

And then Sara Black suddenly texted, "I'm free for 30 minutes on this date. Want to do it then?" Of course I said YES! I called shu uemura's John Pagaduan. He had tons of events that day but he said, "Sure, I'll do your makeup. Your face is easy lang naman!" All my hairstylist friends were fully booked, however, so I had to be content with my flat, lifeless hair.

I spent an hour on John's makeup chair and he transformed me from plain to absolutely amazing! We had so much fun catching up and gossiping. Then off to Sara's studio where she was in the thick of a Mega magazine beauty shoot. As soon as there was a lull in that shoot (the models had to change their makeup), Sara propped a camera in front of my face and started snapping away.

We were done in 20 minutes! And this is what she caught:


There's more photos—with less clothes!—but only Vince gets to see!

Thanks, Sara and John! You made me look beyond fabulous! I'm so lucky to have you as my friends.

To book a photo shoot with Sara Black, go to http://www.sarablack.com/
To book a makeup session with John Pagaduan, call the shu uemura Learning Atelier at Power Plant Mall:  897-8575

A lot of people ask me how I earn money through blogging. Well, I earn most of my blogging income from Nuffnang. I joined Nuffnang in 2008, soon after my mother died. Mama's death had completely wiped us out financially so I was looking for ways to make more money and Nuffnang was recommended by my friend, Jennie of Marriage and Beyond.

At first, there was just a tiny trickle of blogging income coming in (so I was very relieved when the company I work for gave me a big raise in early 2009!), but after a few months with Nuffnang, things started getting very interesting! So without further ado, here are...


10. I got a free trip to Singapore!

On the Singapore Flyer with fellow bloggers

 In 2009, Nuffnang invited me to join the first ever Nuffnang Asia-Pacific Blog Awards in Singapore. I was shy to go since I didn't know anyone on the trip but I packed my bags, kissed my hubby good-bye (with tons of melodramatic tears), and then met some of the most fascinating people in Asia!

I learned so much about blogging from that trip. The most important lesson? That you can earn SO MUCH MONEY! I remember my jaw dropping and my eyes going very wide when some of the bloggers I met (some just barely out of college) told me they just bought a car or quit their job all because of the money they earned from blogging. As soon as I got home, I told Vince, "I'm taking this blogging thing seriously from now on dammit! Those kids are earning more money than I ever dreamed of!"

On our way to the awards ceremony (I'm the girl in far right)

So, obviously, I want to go to the second Nuffnang Asia-Pacific Blog Awards! This time, it's in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. On Dec. 16, 500 bloggers from all over the Asia-Pacific region will be invited to a lovely weekend stay at the Putrajaya Marriott. The awards ceremony will again honor the the region's best bloggers and bring together the blogging communities so that we can all learn from each other. Plus, the lucky bloggers get a free tour of the city! The event is sponsored by Volkswagen Malaysia and Putrajaya Marriott, and if you want to win an exclusive invitation to the event, click here!

And please nominate your favorite bloggers (ahem! ahem!) for the awards!


9. I won a Gucci bag!
Nuffnang has a lot of contests. Their partners are always willing to raffle off really cool stuff like gadgets, and in my case, happily, a designer bag! I won the Confessions of a Shopaholic contest and the prize was a limited edition Gucci shoppers tote. So do check out Nuffnang's exciting array of contests (I think there's one a week!)

8. I always get tons of goodies!
Here are just a few:

Tropicana!

Berocca!

I've also gotten beauty products and fabric conditioners. I know I've gotten more but I just can't remember them all! So much stuff!

7. I get invited to lots of exciting events.
Nuffnang never seems to run out of stuff to offer their bloggers! There's always a beauty launch here, a fashion show there, a movie screening now, a field trip tomorrow. I sometimes wish I wasn't so busy so I can attend them all!


6. I met celebrities!

Alodia's the girl with the backpack.

Alodia Gosiengfiao at the Asia-Pacific Blog Awards at Singapore. Alodia is so cute and shy and talented. There are no airs, no snottiness, no spoiled brat-ness.

Solenn is the girl who forgot to put on a shirt!

Solenn Heusaff at Neutrogena Fine Fairness Ambassadors launch. Well, all I can say is she's sexy. And very sweet to fans. But she looked very uncomfortable the entire time at the event, like she was very scared. I dunno why!

Iza Calzado at the Myra-E event that launched her as their new model. Funnily enough, to me, Iza is not a celebrity, even though she's one of the hottest stars in the country. That's because I can never erase the image of little 5-year-old Izadora following us, her cousins, everywhere, saying, "I can dance! Want to see me dance? Please watch me dance!"

5. I earn money!
I almost forgot that that's the reason I joined Nuffnang in the first place! How's the income, you ask? Well, Nuffnang's been very generous with giving me assignments and you'd have noticed some of them because they're marked as "sponsored posts" (for example, you all loved the Mango post, which was not just fun to do but was also paid for!).

I'd earn more if I accepted all their proposals but I only take on brands I believe in, use or want. But as it is, I've already earned lots of shopping money! Thanks, Nuffnang!

4. I gained new friends.
That's Shen of Shen's Addiction on top and Nikki Tiu of AskMeWhats. They are just two of the wonderful bloggers I've met at the events Nuffnang keeps throwing for us. I'm so glad I joined this blogging community because I've been forced to go out and meet fellow bloggers. You see, if you're a blogger, obviously you spend a lot of time in front of a computer so there's not much of a social life there for bloggers. But because of Nuffnang's plethora of events and activities, I've met some of the most wonderful people ever!

3. Nuffnang believed in my non-blogging ventures.
One of the very first people who bought my satchels is from Nuffnang! Trixie Esguerra is the talent manager of Nuffnang and I never expected that we'd have a friendship. I'm very careful to keep my professional relationship, well, professional. But Trixie is, like the rest of the Nuffies, so much fun and bubbly and makulit, that you can't help but adore her. Plus, she was one of the very first who bought my satchel and mega promoted my bag business! She didn't have to but she did. Thanks, Trixie!

2. Nuffnang supports good causes.
It's not all freebies with Nuffnang. One of the best out-of-my-comfort-zone experiences I've ever had was when we visited Sunshineville in Las Pinas. We met a thriving community of homeowners, working happily for a better life. It was really refreshing to see how giving jobs to people makes them confident, happy, proud. That exposure was the first time I decided I wanted to be an entrepreneur since I saw that it isn't charity dole-outs that help people at all.

Nuffnang also makes sure its bloggers get an education. By this, I mean free classes to everything from cooking to financial freedom. I've been wanting to attend their cooking classes at Enderun but weekends are yaya-less so I haven't had the opportunity. But I'm glad I was able to attend the Philam Life financial planning class. I learned so much! I bought a mutual fund investment plan soon after that session (but with a different insurance provider. Oops!)

1. Nuffnang cares about their bloggers.
The first people who visited me when I gave birth to Vito were Nuffies. Thanks, Anne Franco and Carlos Palma. You got to the hospital with flowers and gifts way before my own family and friends did! To say I was surprised is an understatement. Vince said, after you left, "Wow. You must really mean a lot to Nuffnang." I don't think I'm special that way; I think Nuffnang really just treats their bloggers like family.

And that's why I'm glad I joined Nuffnang. I earned not just money, but a wealth of experiences and a lot of new friends. And family. I have my Nuffnang family. For that alone, I am very grateful.

This is my official entry to the Nuffnang Asia-Pacific Blog Awards 2011. To join, click here.

Pregnancy is usually not the time in a woman's life that she's deemed fashionable. In all honesty, it's tricky to dress a pregnant body. The swelling tummy, boobies, butt and the fast rate they swell just make dressing up so difficult! That's why a lot of preggy women resort to tents--it's much easier, simpler and doesn't require a lot of thought!

But I can't give up on style, especially since Style Bible included me in their Pregnant & Pretty list the last time I was pregnant. I got a reputation to hold up, darn it! So for this second pregnancy, I had a blast checking out some stylish wear from Mango's Fall/Winter collection. Mango very kindly lent me a few pieces to try out at home and these are the winning looks that I'm imagining will be perfect for the following occasions this Christmas season:

In exactly 10 days, I'm going to be 35. I find it terribly exciting--the 30s for me has always been a woman's sexiest age, the time when she's most confident, free from the insecurities that the teens and 20s were plagued with. I'm also looking forward to my 40s because that is when I think a woman is at her most powerful. Exciting times!

So what do I want for my milestone?

Well, I do have everything I need. I still have a lot of wants but, as they are wants, they don't bother me so much. But let me just tell you what they are!

Stuff I want:
1. A year's subscription to Glamour and Vanity Fair. Vince already gifted me with these! Thanks, babe!
2. A few days at the beach with my hubby and little boy, plus yaya. I'm not a beach person but what is it about kids that make you want to play in the sun and sand?
3. A year's worth of facials so that my acne will finally go away! Calling all my friends in the beauty industry! Wink, wink!
4. Shopping sprees at Mango, Karimadon, Zara, SM Forum and K&Co.
5. Shopping sprees at Mothercare, SM Baby, Rustan's Baby and Gingersnaps.
6. Red velvet cake from Karen's Kitchen.
7. Carrot cake from my friend Mariel, who I dearly miss and who will not be baking me cakes because she's in NYC.
8. A girly day at a nail salon with my girlfriends, who I also miss. This bed rest is so sad.
9. A MacBook. Either Air or Pro. Still can't decide!
10. An assistant!

Of course I have other less frivolous things on my mind, like...
1. I wish the subchorionic hemorrhage in my uterus would disappear so that my little Wiggle will be safe and I can get out of the house again. I whine a lot about being stuck home but I do that so I don't worry about Wiggle. Sometimes when I'm being shallow, it's really because something else vastly more important is pressing itself against my mind and my heart and I need to set my sights on glittery shiny things to not drown in the darkness.
2. I pray always for the safety, protection and good health of Vince, Vito and myself. And the yaya and maid! I don't think I utter a prayer more often than this one. Protect us, keep us safe, make us invisible to evil, keep us healthy. Sometimes, that's all I say to God. It must be maddening!
3. I wish all the kinks in this bag business will get ironed out. With Uncle Buck old and working slow and the leather supply running out because of the floods in Bulacan, I may have a ton of interested customers but if I can't meet demand... It's just really very frustrating for me.
4. I wish that all our plans for the magazine I edit will go spectacularly well in 2012. We're doing very well actually--both in advertising and circulation--but I want it to be bigger!
5. I want my blogs to become bigger than ever, too. They're actually great--thousands of views, steady growth, steady stream of advertisers and sponsors--but I'm ready to go HUGE.

That's all. I am beyond blessed and I thank God often for the life I have. I worked hard for it, sure, but I believe the right people and the opportunities were also sent my way and that I was smart enough (or I was advised well) to recognize them. And I am happy and completely content. Yet I am ready for more. I'll be 35 soon. In 10 days! I'm ready to do more!

This year, something very strange happened to my inbox. It became filled with letters from blog readers asking for advice. Love, career, relationship, college, life--all these serious questions! Look, there is a reason I keep this blog silly--so you won't take me seriously, y'all! But strangely you all seem to think I'm some wise old woman. Hmmm. I don't know if I'm doing something wrong or right!

Two weeks ago, I got two similar letters asking about marriage. "Dear Ate Frances, how do I know if I'm ready for marriage?" Dear kids, I don't know! My friend Kat of Kat Dy Finds offers her wise words: "If you're asking that question, then you're obviously not ready!"

But here is my explanation on why I don't know:

I'm nearly 35 years old. I've been madly in love with the same man for 12 years and have been married to him for 4. What do I know?! I'm just living life every day and learning something new each day, just like the rest of you. Marriage is hard some days, marriage is easy most days (at least, for me!). But I think that holds true for most things. But because you think I seem to have all the answers, I'll try to talk you through your woes.

Too young?
Dear L, you said you're 22 and graduating this March. Your boyfriend since 2nd year high came up with the romantic idea of marrying right after graduation. You love him intensely but you're worried you're too young and that you might meet someone else. So what are you to do?

L, I think "too young" is any age below the legal age. But a few years ago, I'd have heartily agreed with you. I know too many people who got married in their teens and early 20s and are separated now. "What were they thinking?", I always snickered. But recently, I've met wonderful people who are happily married (or living together) and they tell me they married at 19, 21, 22, 24. I know a couple, both 35,  who had an arranged marriage and they are sickeningly disgustingly all goo-goo eyes for each other since they were 14. Like I said, what do I know?

As for meeting someone else... Well, of course you'll meet someone else! Unless your husband plans to lock you up in a tower for the rest of your life, expect to meet guys who are richer, cuter, smarter, funnier, etc. Marriage certainly hasn't stopped a lot of people from falling in love with someone else. So it's up to you if you want to be true to your vows.

I've always believed that you should marry for love but that love shouldn't be the foundation of a marriage. It should be commitment. Because if it's love, well, what if one day you wake up and you don't love him anymore? Or he doesn't love you? Commitment and respect. That's what marriage is all about. If he is someone you respect and if you believe you and he are capable of a huge lifelong commitment, then what's age got to do with it?

Marriage is a hindrance to success?
Dear K, you're 27 years old and you're enjoying your career. Your boyfriend of 2 years is going to propose. You know this because you're a snoopy girl and you saw text messages between your guy and a jeweler. You're thrilled and scared because you love him madly but you're afraid marriage will end your career.

Well, K, I can totally relate. Vince asked me to marry him a month after we met and I turned him down because I was fresh out of college and haven't done anything in my life. My mistake there was I had thought Vince would be just like all the men in my family, who think women are meant for the kitchen and the bedroom. So I didn't want to get tied down. What I failed to see all those years was Vince is a wonderfully unconventional man. In fact, most of my career successes were his doing. He was my cheerleader, my guide, my mentor. He pushed me to work hard, to maneuver, to pick my battles, to win most of them, to advance up, up, up.

After Vince and I got married, my career blossomed even more. For one thing, people took me seriously. I think they think married people are more responsible so my boss gave me more responsibilities. Also, when you're married, you have a two-income household (I'm assuming you don't want to quit your job because of all your protests). With all that money, life is incredibly easy.

So what am I saying? K, if your guy is an open-minded man who isn't insecure about his woman's success, then you have nothing to worry about. It's much easier to go through life and a career with a man who believes in you, who has your back. But if he's the sort of guy who thinks little of women, believes you're only good for sex and service, and can't stand it if you're a success, well, then run away!

Love advice is hard to give because each situation is different, each intensely personal. I've learned not to give advice because if the situation doesn't end well, then I'm blamed. Girls, it's your life. Think it over and think well. It's good you're asking people what they think but in the end, it's your life and you're the only one responsible for it. So choose well! Good luck!

I've not bought anything from Payless yet. I know a ton of people who shop there constantly for the inexpensive shoes and I've been meaning to check the shop out ever since it opened last year but I never seem to have the time to pass by. Well, now I want to go there because of these earrings!


These are special limited edition earrings that are priced at a mere P175 per set of two. Yes, you get the two pairs for just P175! They'll look really pretty on anyone's ears and since I'm the kind of girl who never leaves home without earrings, I'd definitely love to have these. I'm super loving the pink one. So pretty!

The best part about these earrings is P50 from each sale will go to the Cancer Resource and Wellness Community (CAREWELL). You see, October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month and buying these earrings is a lovely way for us to help out the people who are fighting this deadly disease. In fact, I suggest we all buy the earrings (they're just P175!) and give them away as Christmas gifts with a card that says, "This gift is really special! It comes with a donation to CAREWELL that I made for you."

And here's a secret: It also comes with a gift for you! Payless will give you 10% discount off on your next purchase just because you supported this great cause! What will you buy now that you have that special discount?


Payless branches: Festival Mall in Alabang, SM Megamall, Ali Mall, Shangri-La Plaza Mall, Shoppesville Greenhills, Power Plant Mall, Robinsons Galleria, Market! Market!, Marquee Mall in Pampanga, Paseo de Sta. Rosa in Laguna, Trinoma, SM Manila, Ayala Center Cebu, SM Masinag, Abreeza in Davao, SM Southmall and Nuvali Solenad 2. More stores are set to open this year in Metro Manila, as well as in Cebu.

Today, I received an email from a very concerned reader, Amina, who told me that someone named Jamie Palanca is using my photos on her Facebook account and passing them off as her own.

Since I wasn't friends with this woman, I couldn't see her other photos but Amina told me that in the other photos, Ms. Palanca claimed Vito as her own, except that she named him Savannah Lauren. And as you can also see from her comment below, she also claimed Vince as her husband.

Talagang angkinin ang asawa't anak ko, ha!

I am not very upset. This is something unexpected, after all. That's one of the consequences of putting your life all over the Internet. I was telling my friend Jill that it's kinda funny, kinda creepy, kinda flattering (although why did she use that unflattering photo?!) but mostly very sad and pathetic. So, guys, don't worry. I'm cool!

My cousin Diana pointed out, however, that while it's great I'm not blowing my top over this, she said that Ms. Palanca is an online seller. If she happens to be an unscrupulous person (and she very well may be because if she can lie about this then she can lie about anything), then she might be running off with people's money. And then what if a swindled customer saw me or my family somewhere and gets angry and attacks us? Put that way, that is a very scary scenario.

Well, folks, please do me a HUGE favor and report this person. Kindly go to her Facebook page (click here) and, on the left side of the profile, somewhere under the profile pic, click on "Report/Block" and say this person is pretending to be me. Thank you!

P.S. Please don't post harsh words on her wall. I know some of you are very protective of me (thanks!). I think it's a very sad thing she had to do this so let's just wish she finds a great husband and make gorgeous babies and have a fabulous life so that she wouldn't need to pretend to be me!

P.P.S. I wouldn't have known about this if it weren't for Amina. Thank you! You know, despite this, I'm still very glad I blog because I have people all over the world who truly care for me and my family. I am very blessed!

If you've been following me on Twitter, you'd have known that I've been ordered to rest by my doctor. As I have never been one to do as she's told, I've still been going to work, playing rough with my toddler, and attending events here and there.

Last Monday, I came home from work at 9pm. The next day, I went to the office early to check on the bible (that's the mock issue) of the November ish before we sent it to the printers then Vince and I drove to Sofitel for Sony's event.

When I got home at around 4pm, I wasn't feeling well. So I decided to skip Jimmy Choo and Bvlgari. But confronted with a super playful Vito, I took him to the playground. After a few rounds, I started feeling dizzy and  very unwell so off we trooped for home.

At 6ish, Vince and I had dinner, but mid-way through, I got up from the table and ran to the bathroom. I had a terribly upset stomach. That was also when I saw there was quite a bit of blood down there. Not in the back but at the front of down there. I was alarmed. I literally felt like fainting. I wiped and wiped and there was still blood. There wasn't supposed to be blood. You see, I'm pregnant.

Vince and I rushed to St. Luke's Global. I called my OB and I was instructed to go directly to the labor room. Vince deposited me at the ER then he drove off to park. "I'll meet you at the labor room," he said.

I walked into the ER and said, "Hello, how do I get to the labor room?"

A cute young man said, "I'll bring you there myself, ma'am. Do you have a relative giving birth?"

"No. I'm the patient."

He glanced at my stomach very quickly and seeing that I had no belly worthy of labor, he very politely said, "Oh! Would you like a wheelchair?"

"No. I need to walk off my nervousness. I'm pregnant, you see, and I started bleeding."

He looked alarmed. "Ma'am, you need a wheelchair!"

"Nah. Just walk with me. Labor room. Now."

Elevator doors opened and we stepped in. Silence. Then he said, "You're very... calm."

And I said, "No use worrying." And I smiled at this young boy who looked like he needed more assurance than I did.

At the Maternity Floor, he very quickly looked for a nurse to assist me. I was taken to the labor room. Vince arrived, looking worried. An OBG did an internal exam and said--to everyone's relief--"Your cervix is still very hard." That means my cervix is still closed, which means a miscarriage is not in progress.

We had to wait a good long while for the sonologist, who was called away from dinner at home. While waiting, Vince wondered aloud, "What does a very hard cervix feel like? I don't feel anything hard in there." And I said, "Well, you're not going anywhere near my cervix!" We laugh, haha, nervous laughter. But it's good to laugh when you're scared. That's why, girls, you marry a man who has a sense of humor!

Finally, the sonologist came and checked on the baby. Baby was alive. Baby had a strong heartbeat. Baby wiggled. It wiggled its little butt! We laughed. We're fine. We're fine!

And this is me at the lobby of St. Luke's. We had just finished paying for our bill. I'm having a cup of milk tea (free at the admissions section), which I had to get to soothe my frazzled nerves. I'm very happy now. Vince, too. He was completely stressed out, poor daddy. So now I'm on complete bed rest. Please please keep me and the little new one in your prayers.

Oh, and we've finally come up with a name for the baby: Wiggle!

This week, I got an email from a reader who demanded I stop writing about my satchels (buy one now!) and go back to writing about my glamorous life. Sweetheart, my satchels are part of my glamorous life! Because of my satchels, I can now call myself designer and entrepreneur! That's a lot cooler than the nerdy writer, right?

Sigh. The problem with blogging only about the nice parts of my life is people only see a tiny aspect of me. The so-called glamorous part and then everyone thinks I spend my days drinking champagne, marinating in the salon or the spa, shopping away, attending parties every night, la di da. Ugh, how boring. I honestly don't know why any woman would want to spend her life like that!

Most days, I don't brush my hair or put on makeup.

You know what my life is like? It starts at 5 in the morning, washing the poop off my son's butt. Then I spend the day chained to my desk, writing and editing and approving photos. I'm in meetings talking about circulation figures and ad revenues and how to meet financial targets. I'm hunched over my computer, answering inquiries about my bags, sending invoices, checking balances. At the end of the day, I blog or work on my other writing projects. And most of the time, I haven't brushed my hair at all!

Of course, every once in a while, I'll have to attend meetings with brand managers and advertising clients. I'll have to attend events and product launches. Then I'll have to blow dry my hair, slap on the makeup and put on a nice dress. But while you may think that this is fun, events aren't parties--they're business. So I don't get drunk, I don't throw my hands in the air and dance with abandon, I don't flirt. I just meet the people who can help my magazine, ask what they want from me and my magazine, then go home.

Even when I go out, I choose comfort first.

But I know, I know. That sounds so boring and familiar. You wouldn't want to read about that because it sounds a lot like your day. I guess I just find it strange that people will take my blog at face value. That what you see here is what you think my entire life is all about. There are no books here but that doesn't mean I don't read. I hardly talk about my son here (read about him on my mommy blog!) but that doesn't mean I don't think about him every minute. There's nothing here about our government, divorce, the RH Bill and gay marriage but that doesn't mean I don't have very strong opinions on those issues.

I don't talk about those things because I  confess that I am not a very agreeable person. I am highly opinionated, terribly articulate and have a bad temper. I'm confrontational. I'm reactionary. If I wrote about controversial things, then I'll get into trouble. I've already gotten into trouble actually (mostly over stuff I've said over Twitter and Facebook). So to be safe, I just keep things light and happy here.

But please don't ever think I'm all sunshine. I will continue to talk about the lovely parts of my life because I enjoy doing that but please don't demand things from me. I'm aware that I might've created some sort of illusion but I'm afraid I'm not an escape, a role model, a style icon, a success story or whatever you project on me. I'm just me, and believe it or not, I'm very much like you.

I super duper love this review of Em of Akira and Everything Nice!

A lot of girls shy away from buying my satchel because they think nothing will fit in it. Well, as Em will happily prove to you (click on the link in the first sentence!), the 11" satchel is ready to bring all your essentials and more! Actually, when I saw all the stuff she had, even I got nervous. So I was SO HAPPY all her gadgets, baby stuff and kikay kit fit!

Thanks, Em! You are the second person I know who said she dreamed of the satchel. I think that's amazing that your dream has come true! I also want to thank your hubby for insisting you get the satchel. That makes him just like my hubby. Em, ang swerte natin sa asawa grabe!!!

I've been neglecting the blogs. I said on my Facebook page (like! like! like!) that I ought to have a blogging schedule: M-W-F for Topaz Horizon, T-TH-S for Topaz Mommy and Sundays for Beauty For A Living. Well, even I balked at that!

I do apologize for the lack of regular updates. September was... interesting. That should prompt you to ask, "If it was so innerestin, then why ya not bloggin?" Well, I don't want to say yet although my Twitter followers (follow me!) have guessed correctly the BIG REASON why I've been cocooning myself. If you want to guess, then check out Leona Panutat's blog which featured me as her Yummy Mommy for October. Judging from my recent photos (especially the pink Versace dress), I think you can deduce why I've been hiding: I'm fat. Haha! Actually, there's a reason for the plumpness but let's talk about that another day.

Then there's work, the bag business, and of course, my little toddler who is running around so fast and I just can't keep up. As Leona describes me, "Wife. Mom. Editor. Blogger. Entrepreneur." Whew. I got exhausted just reading that.

And I was actually telling Vince the other day, "I want to add humanitarian or activist or philanthropist!" To which he dryly replied, "You gotta be really rich for the philanthropist part." He also added I'm crazy for wanting to even put more on my already very full plate.

I just can't keep up. That sums up my life lately, I guess. So much is happening and I can't seem to keep up anymore. Everyone is telling me, "Step back. Slow down. Relax." So I am. Wish me luck!

The scary typhoon yesterday really made me think about security. What about you?

This is a sponsored post (thanks, Nuffnang and Philam Life!) but I'm going to confess some really personal things here. This post is going to be about money. And isn't that such a taboo topic?

My regular readers know that I didn't come from a rich background. That made me work really very hard to become someone and earn more money than my parents ever did. I postponed marriage and motherhood because I just wanted to be secure financially before I ever took on such scary lifelong commitments.

Vince always got upset by this fear of mine because, in his world, the men always were such good providers so I guess he considered my fear an affront to his capabilities. I did believe in him, I really did, and Vince has given me a life beyond my wildest dreams (thanks, Vince!!!) but I had deep-seated issues. I saw my mother work herself into exhaustion, suffer and get into serious debt. I saw relatives shunning us and making fun of her and my father. I heard neighbors say awful things about my parents. My parents are good people, kind and sweet and generous. But in this world, apparently that isn't good enough. You have to have money, too.

When Mama died in 2008, it was very sudden. She had no savings so Vince and I, newlyweds at that time, emptied our bank accounts to give her a proper send off. When Papa suffered complications from diabetes and had to have two amputations last year, he also had no savings. Vince and I, new parents to a two-month-old Vito, again emptied our bank accounts to pay for his operations.

The past few months have been terrifying for us, me especially, needless to say. But because Vince and I work so very hard, the money situation is good again. Still, when we look at Vito, happy and carefree, we promised ourselves that we will never let him feel the despair we both felt. We will provide not only for his future but for our future, too, so that Vito will never have to worry about his parents and he can be free to live the life he wants. That's why when Nuffnang invited me to a talk on financial planning, I immediately said yes.


Philam Life has a new campaign called "Anong Plano Mo? Usap Tayo." Its aim is to make insurance easy to understand and not so scary. You see, people always think death and bad things when the word "insurance" is mentioned. I don't understand why that should scare people away actually. That should scare people into action! I'm so bewildered by people who refuse to prepare for the worst!


Anyway, a couple of weeks ago, I went to the financial planning talk at Philam Life's super posh penthouse club at the Philam Life Tower in Makati. The talk was started by Larry Cleto, one of Philam Life's registered financial planners. Larry is a very good speaker, none of that annoying loud voice or sing-song manner. He talked to us like he was talking about the weather or traffic or the kids. You know, normal. He didn't hard sell, he didn't sound like a know-it-all. He made finances understandable and cool. He presented sobering facts about people's cavalier attitude towards money and their future. It was very "Usap Tayo" in a light and conversational way!


If you're 25 years old, that should scare you. I know 35 years from now seem like a thousand years away but believe me, it's not so far away. Vince and I bought insurance policies when I was 26 and he was 28. Eight years later, I got benefits for giving birth and Vince is enjoying endowment cash! So you see, insurance doesn't mean death and sadness! Larry also showed us how easy it is to save up for emergencies and retirement with as little as P1,000 a month. That's easy! That's like 10 Starbucks frapuccinos, right? I advise you to get policies now while you're young because the premiums will be cheaper than, say, when you're 40.


One of Larry's slides was about the dreams of the typical Filipino. It really encouraged me because I am living the dream! The only thing we lack is the last one--to send Vito to good schools. In today's fiercely competitive world, good isn't enough, though. We have to send him to the best. And that's going to cost us money. Lots of it.


That pretty girl in the middle is Doerie Caraca. She's 14 years old. She's also lost her father. He died in 2008, the same year my Mama died. He was an OFW and the family's breadwinner so I can imagine how frightening it must've been for his wife and two daughters. But because Mr. Caraca prepared for the worst and got Deorie and her sister, Ginger, Philam Life's Scholar Gold educational plans, his family is taken care of and his daughters are continuing their education, and are even at the top of their class!

Vince and I want that same protection for our Vito. Not just for his education but for his life, in case the worst happens (please don't let that be so, dear God!). So very soon, we'll be getting Vito a good policy to ensure his education and, if we still have the budget for it, we're exploring investing!

So I really had an interesting afternoon learning about financial freedom with Philam Life. I'm really excited to prepare for our future because once tomorrow is taken care of, then you can really live today! Hmm. I should copyright that sentence!

photo by Aileen Siroy Photography

In late July, my partners and I ended the fabulous introductory price of P2,500. The price of our 11" satchel has been P3,500 since then. That already includes packaging and shipping within the Philippines. For an all-leather, handmade bag, that's a really good price, but for some of you, that's astronomical. Girls, astronomical is an Hermes. My satchel, in comparison, is crazy inexpensive.

And so I dedicate this post to all of you who wonder why things cost the way they do. I don't like doing educational posts because my image as a silly, shallow girl gets shattered. Like, totally. But as more and more people deluge my inbox with tawad, I just have to address this topic of cost. I like to imagine you were daydreaming or flirting or napping during your Economics class, you naughty girls! So sit up straight, smooth down your blouse, and pay attention!
Why is my satchel priced at P3,500?

First, it's all about economy of scale. The more items we make, the cheaper the item gets. How is that possible? Well, when Uncle Buck buys leather, he has to go all the way from Batangas to Malabon and back. Let's say one cow hide costs P1,000 and it makes 4 bags, does that mean a bag should cost P250? No. Uncle Buck spent time and money for his trip. And that's a very long trip! So if one trip means he buys a lot of hide, then the cheaper the bag gets.

Same with delivery. Again, that's gas burned to and fro Batangas to Mandaluyong (where I live). So even if Uncle Buck finishes one bag in 2-3 days, we wait for a batch of finished bags before he delivers here. To keep gas costs down, we ask for just one delivery.

But because everything is painstakingly handmade, we can't accommodate huge orders. Believe me, I'd love to sell a thousand bags a month but Uncle Buck can only make a few so there goes my get-rich-quick dream of supplying to SM!

Second, there's the cost of labor and other expenses. Uncle Buck has a very small team of craftsmen making the bags, which are completely cut, tanned, tooled and sewn by hand. No machines at all! Sure it's slower but the bag comes out much better. It's not just their time and talent that you're paying for, however; there's also mine! I spend a few hours each day answering bag inquiries, checking and making payments, wrapping bags, writing thank you notes, sending the bags out. My time isn't free. Neither is my phone bill. Oh and my stationery, my pen, my Scotch tape, etc!

My two partners also devote their time and energy to this business and we don't get a salary from it. My entrepreneurial friends say we should get a salary but we chose not to because that's just going to drive the price way up. What should our salary be? Well, in my case, as a professional writer and editor, I already command a pretty good price for an hour's work. If I charged the bag business my rate, then one satchel will be in the P10,000-15,000 range. That's just my rate; I haven't included the hourly rates of my two other partners!

Third, consider quality. As I keep emphasizing, each bag is handmade. Each bag is the result of backbreaking labor. Those perfectly distanced holes, those perfect stitches, the precision and care that go into each satchel is all human. And the bag is entirely Pinoy--from the cow to the courier! This is Pinoy service at its best!

So you might be thinking (and I actually got this question), "Well then, why don't you just get cheap leather and get machines to cut and stitch the whole damn thing?" Unbelievable.

Because, first, there's no such thing as cheap leather. Unless you're talking about fake leather, which means it isn't leather, right? Second, if we got machines to do the job, then the fabulous craftsmanship of each bag I sell will be lost. Third, if I can produce a million bags (that would be nice!), yes, the bag will be waaaay cheaper but it would have lost its unique appeal. Then what's the point of my bag if it's just going to look like any old fake leather cheapie?

You know, after listing down all my reasons above, I am now convinced that my price is actually incredibly low. As my customers from the United States keep saying: "A genuine leather bag that's handmade and it's only $80?! Are you sure it's only $80?!" Maybe I should raise my price!

My bespoke leather satchel is for the discriminating customer who values hard work, quality and the value of her peso. My customer appreciates style and craftsmanship and is willing to pay for it. If that describes you, then buy my bag!

I don't watch Pinoy movies in theaters because my job is spent watching Hollywood movies. I don't even have enough time to watch Hollywood movies so obviously I have zero time for local films. But sometimes, when it's very late at night, I switch on Cinema One and watch old Pinoy movies. My favorite discovery is 1984's May Lamok sa Loob ng Kulambo starring incredibly sexy and super funny stars Eddie Garcia, Gloria Diaz and Amy Austria. You have to watch it!

So anyway the other day, I saw the trailer for a new movie called No Other Woman. I looked up the full trailer because I wanted to see if Anne's makeup was really that bad. Yes. It is. Such a shame. She's such a pretty girl! Nasapawan siya ni Cristine! (Syempre, Team Wife ako!)



"Anong mas mahirap na kalaban: ang putang mahirap o ang putang mayaman?"
"Pareho-parehong puta lang yon!"

Winnur!

And so very true. Naagawan na ako ng boyfriend dati. Mga ilang beses din. Alam mo, masakit lang talaga siya sa pride. Noong una, I thought it was heartbreak I was feeling but upon further investigation and finding out who the girl is and what she's like, I realized that no self-respecting woman would take another woman's man. In Pinoy movie parlance, puta lang yon and do you really want to go down to her level? It's really just as simple as that. Once you realize that, it's pity you feel for her.

As for your man, well, no real man would cheat on his girl. A real man keeps his word. So if your guy cheats on you, iwanan ang gago. You deserve better! Happy weekend!